14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Leander

There is something off with Hayden. He’s quiet on the way back, staring out of the window as his fingers absentmindedly fiddle with the belt buckle. Perhaps he’s overwhelmed? My friends can be quite intense, especially when they take a liking to someone.

And they did to Hayden. Honestly, I’d have been surprised if they didn’t.

He’s friendly and energetic, easy on the eye. He says what’s on his mind. It’s refreshing and fun when most of us, high-society vampires, are stuck following silly rules of hierarchy so we can maintain our reputations. I’ll give him a few pointers for the ball of course—so he doesn’t embarrass me and himself—but we should be able to get away with just the basics. I am positive he can win most guests over with those radiant grins and his inappropriate jokes.

I’m smiling, I realize, as I glance into the rearview mirror. It’s a fond and slightly goofy one that I’m sure Hayden will give me shit for if he notices it. Which he doesn’t because he’s still staring out of the window with his elbow tucked on the door and his chin propped on his hand.

Clearly, something is weighing on his mind. Why? I want to make it go away. I want to console him, my chest aching at the intensity of the urge. I want to make him smile again.

I thought he had as much fun as I did at the dinner and party. Was it the blowjob? Is this embarrassment catching up to him? But he’s not the type to get shy over something like this, or he wouldn’t have asked me about the ball orgies. Is it the horses then? Maybe he wanted to try riding one today? I’ve already been thinking of getting a few for myself, but never really got around to it. Until today. His excitement was too endearing to ignore, but it will take Vivian a couple of days to find me the right animals.

“Are you hungry?” I ask, glancing at his tense form.

He does look at me then, his eyes narrowed and a little confused. “No? I had plenty to eat…” Tilting his head a little to the side, he studies my profile as I steer the car off the highway. “Are you? Like, for blood?”

I contemplate my response. It’s been a while since I last fed, but it’s not at the point where I need to just yet. It wouldn’t hurt if I did, but that would require going out hunting for a suitable victim and then reporting that and answering the one-million questions Claudius will undoubtfully fire at me. Vampire bureaucracy is a bit of a headache.

“I’d never say no given a chance to have it, but I am not in need of it just yet. My next feeding is not for another week.”

“Biting while fucking doesn’t count?” he asks, still poking at the belt.

“No. There is no drinking of blood involved usually.” There could be, and there is, but that’s typically only between partners. Even with thralls, it’s one or the other, never the two together. “It’s more… I inject my saliva, which is what makes the whole thing pleasant for you. It happens during feeding as well, to guarantee our target won’t try to fight us or run away.”

He nods slowly as he faces forward. The streetlamps lining the road cast their orange beams at even intervals, leaving small gaps of darkness between one and the next. Quietness settles in the car again, still a little tense and charged. It crawls under my skin, down my throat, along the scalp of my head, but I don’t want to press Hayden. He clearly has something on his mind, and if he wanted to tell me, he would have.

“I can pressure your coach, so he lets you play,” I offer once we’ve reached my mansion and gone through the gate. I should leave him be, I already know that, but for some reason I can’t. Besides, if it’s not food, then hockey is the likeliest culprit for Hayden’s sulky mood.

“It’s fine. I think. I’ve been behaving like I promised,” he grumbles, crossing his arms. “Plus, there’s still enough time until the game.”

He’s obviously not particularly happy about it, but the fact that he’s kept his word causes my insides to squeeze and my stomach to flutter. “You can take your frustration out on me. In bed.”

He throws me a look I can’t quite decipher. His tri-colored eyes entrance me, and my entire world narrows down to him. His usually bright presence is all kinds of skewed, so much so I can not only sense it but glimpse a hint of its murky colors. He’s warring with something on the inside. He’s confused. Sad. A little annoyed and angry. Hopeful. Scared. He’s full of doubt.

A need so strong to have him in my arms rushes through me, leaving no inch of my body not tingling. What is bothering him? Why won’t he just say? What can I do to make it better?

That last one is easy, the answer becoming obvious as I caress his warm cheek. His eyes flutter closed on a deep sigh, his fingers wrapping around my hand as I keep stroking gently.

“Whatever is on your mind, you can tell me,” I say softly, pleading almost.

He shrugs. “It’s nothing.”

It is something, but he doesn’t want to tell me. That’s fine, I suppose, though it irks me a little. Does he not trust me? Perhaps not fully, we’ve only known each other for two weeks, but things were fine before tonight. So, what changed?

“Okay. But let me distract you from it anyway.” I lean over the central console, slotting my mouth against his in a feathery kiss. “I owe you a reward.”

He shivers, parting his lips. But before I’ve slid my tongue past them so his intoxicatingly sweet taste can flood my senses, he grabs my hand and pushes me away.

“Sorry. I think I’m crashing a bit. Too much cake and ice cream, probably. Plus, it’s been a long day and I have practice in the morning.”

That has never stopped him before. It’s an excuse, I can feel how much his body craves me. I can see it in his gorgeous and troubled eyes. I can smell it on his breath, taste it in the lingering sweetness of our chaste kiss.

But I let go. He is mine as per our arrangement, but he also isn’t. Not in this way. It is not my place to comfort him or worry about him, no matter how much my entire being wishes to do so.

I can’t fall asleep that night. My mind is racing, still unable to move on from Hayden’s cryptic behavior. I can read him fairly well normally, he’s not one to hide what he thinks or feels. He’s straightforward and direct. Did I do something tonight that I shouldn’t have? But we didn’t act any differently than we usually do.

The shift in his mood happened right at the end. He was his chirpy self, tossing innuendos at me every chance he got right up until we bid Vivian farewell.

I go over the conversation for the millionth time. I don’t think my friend or I said anything that could’ve offended Hayden. Or made him sad or mad with me.

Has he gotten bored then? The days I spent away meant we couldn’t have sex, so maybe he realized it doesn’t have to be me. He can have anyone, and once our arrangement is over after the ball, he will.

I growl, my fangs and claws protruding on their own. My stomach twists, roiling with the idea of it.

Mine .

The scorching realization pulses through me. Hayden is mine. He can’t be someone else’s. No one should be allowed to touch him. To kiss him. To embrace him. To make him smile and laugh in that bright way he does for me.

I growl again, the truth of the matter flooding me like a tidal wave. He. Is. Mine. I am not willing to let him go. I should be, that was our deal. I own him until the ball is over. Then he is free. He returns to his life, and I return to mine, never to cross paths again.

Dread makes my stomach sink. My chest feels too restrictive, my ribcage cutting into my soft tissue. This wasn’t part of the plan. For him to be so perfect. To make my day exciting and my nights sleepless. For him to get under my skin with his filthy mouth and chiming laughter and pretty eyes and charming smiles. For his hockey obsession to have me secretly learning the rules so we could visit the rink together for our next fake date. Just imagining him walking out of my home never to come again has me leaping from the bed like a rampaging beast ready to tear this whole place down.

Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.

How irritatingly exhilarating that thought is.

My door bangs open, pulling my overexcited attention to it. Hayden is standing there, heaving with his eyes wide and his forehead creased. He scopes the room, zeroing in on the piece of broken vase in my hand. I have no recollection how I got hold of it.

“Is everything okay? I heard you growling and then breaking stuff. I thought… you were being attacked…” he pants, worry and relief mixing on his face into an expression that’s like a balm to my agitated nerves.

I place the ruined vase on the desk and walk over to him. His scent is sharper because of the adrenaline still in his system, irresistible as it wraps itself around me and guides me closer to him. I gather him in my arms and breathe him in, every part of my body singing at the contact.

He doesn’t jerk away like he did in the car. He hugs me back, somehow as desperate for the embrace as I am. So right. So so right. Mine. He’s mine. I can feel it in my bones, in every cell, in every nerve. In his presence, in mine. In the way they complement each other.

This is scary. This is… terrifying and overwhelming, making me feel like I’m on the edge of a building, ready to jump off.

“I am fine. It was just… trouble sleeping,” I lie, not ready to tell him how profoundly he’s affected my world.

His hands stroke my back, his breath hot against the crook of my shoulder and neck as he kisses my skin. “Me, too.”

I kiss his head next, soaking up the heat of his body with every pore of mine. It feels so right. This. It has from the start. The way he slotted into my life so seamlessly as if he’s always been part of it. How didn’t I realize it? What the pull that I felt toward him meant?

I breathe him in again, our mingling scents soothing the violent urges within me. He is mine. The elusive mate that exists only for me even if I didn’t fully believe it. I will not let him go, not tonight, and not when our arrangement is over.

“Sleep with me,” I coax, tucking locks of hair behind his ear as he looks up at me. Those soul-stealing hazel eyes shine with something deep, something I am not privy to, and it pulls at my heartstrings. The need to comfort mounts in me and this time I don’t fight it. I give into it. I embrace it, I make it mine.

“Just sleep?” he asks in a voice that’s quiet and unsure.

I capture his lips in a quick kiss that doesn’t go beyond a gentle flick of our tongues. “Yes. Just sleep.”

He sucks in a deep breath, his entire being melting in my arms. “Yeah. Okay. Just sleep sounds nice.”

I guide him to my bed and tuck him against my chest, feeling that all-encompassing rightness as we fall asleep in each other’s arms just like we’ve been since he moved here. He’s my mate. The one made specifically for me as I am for him. But I must be patient. I must not overwhelm him, because I can feel that he’s not ready to hear it just yet.