Chapter Eight

The drive to Lev's house was made in silence. They played with each other's fingers while soft music poured from the radio. Murphy couldn't stop thinking about Lev's confessions about the past. His story cleared up so many things in Murphy's mind. They also pointed out their weak spots. In over a year of friendship and then months of dating, they had avoided any talk of certain topics. They hadn't let each other completely in. Murphy saw now why they felt unsteady all the time. It was like they had each been waiting for the other to leave.

Until Lev had started spilling his secrets, Murphy also hadn't realized how many he kept. Lev was his partner in life. Murphy should have just said he was stressed and scared. That he felt like he betrayed his brother in some small way by leaving sled behind. He still hadn't confessed that part, but it could wait. Murphy wouldn't stop letting Lev in.

As they pulled into the garage of Lev's house, Murphy realized something completely insane. The moment they talked about going home, this was always the home they meant. Collectively, they had spent more nights in Murphy's bed. But this was the house they had picked out together and the bed they had used ever since. Murphy hadn't felt settled in the past few nights at his place. That wasn't home anymore.

Together, they headed inside. As Murphy set his keys and wallet on the kitchen island, he focused on the ring of silver and gold-colored keys held together by a Chuckers keychain. One belonged to this house. There was a key fob that went to Lev's SUV. Their lives had somehow become more entwined than he noticed. His throat swelled.

"We almost lost this." Even Murphy heard the way his voice broke.

Lev's arms encircled him, pulling Murphy back against his chest. He squeezed. His lips brushed the shell of Murphy's ear. "Never again." His mouth moved to Murphy's neck. "It's time to settle things and make sure we can't easily run. I'll hire movers tomorrow to move your things here where you belong."

"God. That sounds so mad." Did it, though? Maybe they hadn't started sleeping together until three months ago, but they had been a couple for more than a year. Maybe they hadn't admitted it to themselves, but they had been. Those nonstop every day texts had kept them tethered to each other in a way not everyone could understand. They had been bound by those intimate phone moments every bit as much as if they had been in the same room.

"I am mad. Completely insane for you. You'll move here."

Murphy smiled. It came from his soul. Lev was so overbearing and wonderful. He took decisions from Murphy, lightening his burden. It was nice. No one else made his life easier. "All right."

Lev's hand ran down Murphy's body. He cupped Murphy's dick through his pants. "Let's go get this suit you hate off so I can ride you."

A laugh burst from Murphy. That was another thing Lev did. He got Murphy. Murphy absolutely hated wearing suits, but it was the dress code. "After you."

Lev took Murphy's hand and headed down the hall. Inside the bedroom, he kept moving past the sitting area and to the bed. At the edge of the bed, he turned and went to work undressing Murphy. A small lamp in the corner cast a glow over Lev's features. He looked so serious. Almost sad. Love swelled in Murphy's chest. It occurred to him Lev always looked this way, except for the small bursts of ridiculousness. He was a stoic man. Murphy should have realized life hadn't treated him well. He had simply wanted to believe Lev was a spoiled, famous hockey player who always got what he wanted. That guy had been easier to keep at arm's length.

"I love you."

Lev paused in the middle of unbuttoning Murphy's shirt. His gorgeous green eyes focused on Murphy's face, holding his stare. "I love you too."

The back of Murphy's eyes burned. His nose stung. They were so much more than he had allowed himself to feel or believe. "I'm sorry I shut you out. You mean everything to me. I should've said that sooner. You deserved to hear it. I won't fail you like that again."

Lev's overly serious expression never faltered. It was obvious he took Murphy's words to heart, seeing them as the vow they were. He gave Murphy a small nod. "I would like to make love now. This feeling in my chest is too big."

Murphy got it. Love was crushing them. It needed somewhere to go—an outlet. Murphy finished unbuttoning his shirt while Lev undressed. Their gazes kept meeting as they stripped. The moment they were nude, Murphy climbed into bed. He knew Lev. Lev would be in charge. That was just Lev. He was a force of nature. Murphy existed to get swept away by his winds.

On his back, Murphy watched Lev prep his asshole for the taking. His body burned at the show. Murphy's breathing quickened when Lev rolled a condom down his dick. He thought he might blow just from the way Lev touched his cock. Then Lev straddled his body. His intensity focused on Murphy in a way that always took Murphy's breath.

"It's always been only you in my head."

Lev took Murphy's erection in hand and impaled himself. His chin tilted upward as if he savored the moment. Then his chin dropped, and their gazes collided. Murphy lost his breath at Lev's expression. He was passion incarnate. Murphy couldn't look away. Lev lifted and sank again, taking Murphy slowly. Murphy touched him every place he could reach, savoring every second. His gaze never wavered from Lev's face. He didn't want to miss a thing.

"You're so beautiful. I didn't know your age that night, but I've never been so immediately struck. When I stepped outside that club, all I saw was you."

"I would've done anything to have you. Still would." Lev leaned forward, causing Murphy to lose his breath as pleasure rocked him. "You're not paying attention."

Murphy was so turned on, he could barely keep his eyes open. He wanted to focus solely on the way Lev's body ruined him for anyone else. Murphy flipped, pinning Lev beneath him. "All I see is you."

To prove his point, Murphy fucked Lev. It wasn't making love. Murphy took Lev hard. He let him feel the intensity of Murphy's emotions. The sounds Lev made kept Murphy going. Even when Lev's cries filled the room, Murphy didn't stop. When his orgasm hit, Murphy couldn't stop the noises from escaping him. Being with Lev was always soul stealing. The heat cooled. Their kisses turned sweet. Murphy's chest was full. He needed to spend the rest of his life just like this. That was exactly what he planned to do.

Lev's emotions were all over the place. He had been on a mental rollercoaster for days. Some might say he had been a mess for years. But it felt good in Murphy's arms. Lev felt whole. Murphy had agreed to move in with no argument. They felt stronger than ever. Lev wanted to cling to every second.

The air cooled their skin. Lev wet a washcloth and cleaned them before they settled in to cuddle. He listened to Murphy breathe and thanked anyone listening for not taking him away. Lev might be crazy, but he wasn't dumb. He would never let anything happen to them again.

"Would you do something for me?"

Lev met Murphy's stare at the question. "Of course."

Murphy looked uncomfortable, setting alarm bells clanging in Lev's head. "My brother's birthday is Sunday. I always visit his grave and then my parents want to have lunch together. Will you go with me?"

Lev's heart squeezed in his chest. Murphy never spoke often of his family. He knew Murphy had loved his brother more than anything. It moved him that Murphy wanted him to be a part of this moment. "I'd love to go."

Murphy nodded and held him tighter. "Thank you. Love to go is probably a wild overestimation of how much you'll enjoy yourself, but I appreciate you agreeing."

Lev chuckled. "I'll be with you. That's all that matters."

"We'll see if you feel the same afterward."

A hint of worry creeped in. "Why? Do you think they will not like me?"

"I think they'll like you too much."

"Oh." Lev didn't understand why that was bad. "I am used to this. It's always, ‘can I take the picture?' or ‘can I sign the thing?' It's part of the job."

Murphy laughed. "You don't have to worry about that. My parents know nothing about sports. They don't keep up with any of that."

That confused Lev. "That's odd. Their son is famous now."

Murphy snorted.

Lev moved up on to his elbow and met Murphy's stare again. "Is true. People already call to you in restaurants. It'll get worse. Trust me."

Murphy traced Lev's jawline. His gaze followed his finger. "I only took the job to be with you. Honestly, I never thought to leave sled. Not because I didn't think I was good enough. I just wanted to keep that part of Mike with me."

The confession shocked Lev. It never occurred to him Murphy might not want the position he had taken.

Murphy's gaze met his. "Why didn't you tell me you took less money to sign with the Chuckers?"

Damn. Lev hadn't wanted Murphy to know that. "I knew you wouldn't like it. Even while believing I would make more with the Chuckers, you fretted over my move. If you had known I took less, you probably would've refused to date me for my own good."

A smile exploded across Murphy's face. "Yeah. Probably."

Lev shifted to his knees and crawled over Murphy, covering his body like a blanket. "Too late now. You belong to Lev. We both sacrificed. Now this is forever."

Murphy's smile turned sweet. "No one could love you more."

An evil laugh rumbled from Lev's chest. "I know. That's why I plan to make you very happy."

"I already am."

Lev kissed his collarbone. "I think we can do better." He licked the spot he had kissed and didn't stop until he heard Murphy lose his breath. Lev hadn't only been boasting. He fully intended to pour everything into them. Murphy would be the happiest man alive if it was the last thing Lev did. That was a promise.