8. Chapter 8

Was this real life?

Ashlynn had just left Coach Carl's office.

Her father.

My eyes deceive me as they first go straight to those plump lips that I couldn't stop kissing last night and then roam down to those incredible tits that I had in my mouth. She was delicious, and I devoured every inch of her. And now, she's sitting in front of me – with her dad.

Shaking my head, I tried to get those thoughts out of my mind.

"Actions speak louder than words, son," Coach Carl said after a moment that felt like an eternity. I needed to forget about Ashlynn for a moment and remember that I was sitting here with my coach—a coach who is still pissed off at me. "When Topher talked me into bringing you boys to the team, he really stuck his neck out for you all. Now, he's working hard to advance his coaching career, and you boys keep giving him headaches. Do right by Topher. From what I understand, you all owe your time here and future to Topher."

"I know," I sighed.

"Look, I get it. You"re young,and talented, and the spotlight loves you. But that same spotlight can burn everything to the ground if you lose focus." Coach"s voice softened, a mentor pleading with his protégé. "I need you to be the player I know you can be, not the headline I"m afraid you"ll become." He paused, and I could see turmoil in his eyes. "Which is why," Coach paused, his next words heavy with finality, "I"m benching you for the next game."

"Coach, you can"t—"

"I can, and I am. Take the night off. Reflect on what I"ve said. Think about the kind of player—and the kind of man—you want to be." His serious eyes narrowed in on me, and I had never felt smaller.

"Who will be the goalie?" I croaked out.

"Let me handle that. Right now, you need to worry about yourself," he said tersely.

My chest tightened, and my breath caught short as if I'd been checked into the boards. One game could make or break my career and I was being benched.

As much as I hated hearing it, I knew he was right. Even though it was just one fight, it had caused a mountain of issues. And, to hear that I was letting Topher down hurt more than anything else.

"Understood?" Coach asked, his gaze unwavering.

"Understood," I muttered, the word scraping out like a skate over rough ice.

"Good." Coach clapped me on the shoulder, a gesture heavy with both disappointment and hope. "Don"t let your talent go to waste, Logan. Don"t let yourself down."

Nodding, I knew I needed to work hard. "Then let my actions from here on out shout something different. Let them show commitment and discipline. I"ll do whatever it takes."

"Whatever it takes," the coach echoed, his voice softening just enough to betray the hint of a heart behind the stern facade. "We"ll see about that, Logan. We"ll see."

***

"Damn, I didn't realize you were in so much trouble," Jace said, sitting next to me on our sofa. "Getting benched is serious."

The seriousness of the situation hung heavy in the air, threatening to suffocate us.

The guys were awake, and their girls were gone when I finally made it back to my dorm. I was feeling down, and they could read me like a book. They got some alcohol and put on a game for us to watch.

"Sadie showed me the video," Tripp added, handing me a cold beer. "I know it looks bad now, but you can get through this. What did Coach say?"

I'm sulking in my own misery, and I appreciate the guys sitting with me. They gave up a night with their girls for me. Tripp and Sadie have been talking about getting an apartment off campus, and I know Jace and Skye sleep together every night. Still, they made time for me, and I know I need to take all of their advice.

"Coach is pissed, obviously," I say, taking a large swig of my beer. "Things have been going great with the team lately, and I ruined our streak because of a stupid fight after the game." I take another drink and rub my jaw. It still aches. "Coach is benching me and wants me to work with the PR team, and I have to meet with him weekly. Plus, Topher is really upset. He doesn't need the bad press as he works to move up in his career."

I don't tell them what they already know. Topher loves coaching the Sunnyvale Hawks, but he is meant to be a head coach. He wants Coach Carl's position when he retires, and we need to make him look good so the university will want to hire him. Having the new star goalie benched makes the entire team look bad.

I think about telling them about Ashlynn, but something holds me back. I don't keep secrets from the guys, but what happened last night and today – it feels too personal for both me and Ashlynn. Besides, I need to talk with her and see where she stands. She may not want anyone to know we hooked up, especially, with her dad being my coach. Once I talk with her, I will decide how or when to tell the guys.

They look at me as if they know I'm at war with myself over what to say. They don't push me to say anything more, and I'm grateful for it.

"Topher is meeting me in the morning with Sawyer," I tell them, breaking the awkward silence.

"On a Sunday?" Tripp asks, his brows raised.

"Yep." I nod. "I guess my life is over until further notice," I deadpan.

"Just do what they say so you can stay on the team," Tripp advises. "We are so close to graduating and hopefully getting signed by an NHL team. Trust me, it's much easier to accept the punishment and move on."

I get what he"s saying, but it still stings that I'm in the hot seat. I hate feeling like a huge disappointment.

"I think Topher likes Sawyer," Jace says, winking. In true Jace fashion, he isn't taking anything too seriously. He likes to keep things light.

I've only met Sawyer a handful of times in meetings. She's pretty and sophisticated. Topher hasn't said much about her, so this revelation has me stunned. Out of all of the guys, Topher and I are the closest. We shared something once that none of the other guys knew about.

When I was thirteen, I stayed after school to use the weights in the weight room. My football coach had given me permission to use the weight room after practice as long as I locked up afterward. When I was finished, I ran into a couple of guys who were older than me. I was walking home, and they met me in the alley behind the school. They came from a nicer neighborhood and always made fun of me for having tears in my clothes and old shoes. Jace, Tripp, Topher, and I came from a shitty neighborhood and from even worse families. Topher looked out for us, and during school, he managed to keep bullies like these guys away from us. However, on this day, I was alone, and they took the chance to corner me. They jumped me before I could turn and run away. During a couple of blows to the head, I blacked out. I woke hours later in the dark and with Topher kneeling over me.

When I didn't come home that evening, Topher was the only one who noticed. My mom was working, and I didn't have a dad around. Topher came looking for me and found me bloody and passed out in the alley. He carried me home and helped me get cleaned up. I cried as I told him what happened. It was the first time I had cried since I was a little kid, and I was humiliated for showing emotions. Even more, I was embarrassed that those guys had finally beat me up. Topher swore never to tell anyone about what happened, and I secretly vowed to spend the rest of my life making him proud of me. So, I learned every sport I could. I listened to everything Topher taught me. He wasn't just my friend and brother, but he was my idol. To this day, I idolize that man.

My heart aches as I realize I've done what I swore I would never do. I let him down.

Shaking my head, I bring myself back to the present.

"Nah, Sawyer has a boyfriend. Sadie said he's a real jerk," Tripp adds, sounding angry.

"Well, I will see what's going on tomorrow," I explained. Although, knowing Topher, it's probably nothing. He's a stand-up guy and would never mess with a girl who had a boyfriend.

We stop talking and watch the game as we drink. As the night continues, we sit in a comfortable silence, and I finally allow myself to relax. Exhaustion finally settles in, and I can barely keep my eyes open. I say goodnight to the guys and then head to my room. Tomorrow, I will deal with the backlash. For now, I just need to sleep and get my head back into the game.