22. Teagan

twenty-two

Instead of riding to the hockey arena with the guys like I normally do, I called Britt to pick me up and drive me.

"Are you sure you're okay, Teagan.?" Britt asks for the hundredth time since she picked me up.

"I'm fine." The lie comes too easy, but Britt sees through me.

"Come on, Teagan, we've known each other our whole lives. I can tell when something is bothering you." Britt pulls into an open parking spot next to the team bus; placing the car in park, she turns to face me. "So don't try and bullshit me."

She's right. We've never been able to keep secrets from each other, "It's the guys. I thought we had something special, but I was wrong." Boy, was I wrong. Finding out I'm a poor substitute for Selina hurts more than I thought possible.

"Oh, Teagan, what happened?" Britt's genuine concern almost breaks me. I'm the strong one. I"ve survived other breakups, and I'll survive this one, too.

The only problem is the other break ups never felt this bad. Even when I found out Tommy Miller was only dating me because of my famous father, it didn't hurt this much, and I gave him my virginity.

Or when I started dating the senior captain of our high school hockey team, John Wilkins when I was a freshman. He was such a gentleman, never trying to go beyond first base with me. We spent more time practicing hockey than practicing kissing. I learned a lot of good moves from him, too bad they were all on the ice.

He broke up with me the second he got a full hockey scholarship to Minnesota State, the most decorated men's hockey program in the country. I guess it looked good to the recruits to have a connection with Teddy Hayes, the GOAT of modern-day hockey.

After Tommy and John, I swore off men for anything other than a good time—until Coulter, Fin, and Royal. Britt knows of my track record with men, so I don't need to elaborate.

"I'm really fine, Britt. We transferred to State College so I could play on the men's hockey team and win a national championship, and that's what I plan to do. Now, enough about Coulter, Fin, and Royal. As far as I'm concerned, they are nothing more to me than my teammates."

Being the best friend she is, Britt lets the subject drop and doesn't question me any further.

Britt gives me a hug before wishing me good luck. We arrived late enough that the only seat available on the bus is next to Coach Johnson. Seeing my hesitation, he motions me over. I take a seat, refusing to search the bus for a glimpse of Royal, Fin, and Coulter.

"Everything okay, Hayes?"

I give a small smile at Coach's use of my last name. Treating me like any other member of the team.

"Everything is just fine." Surprisingly, my voice sounds normal, with no sign of the stress I'm feeling from just thinking about having to share a room with Royal, Fin, and Coulter since this is an overnight trip.

Maybe I can convince Coach to let me stay with him. He's like an uncle to me, having played on the same team as my father when I was growing up. He spent a lot of time at our house, until I remember his wife and new baby meeting us at the arena and staying at the hotel.

"I hope little Ava doesn't keep everyone awake at the hotel tonight. She's got a set of lungs on her that could shatter glass. She's either going to be an opera singer or a coach." I smile at the obvious sound of love in his voice.

Ava might only be a few weeks old, but it's a hockey tradition to start the kids young by attending games. Coach Johnson has a lot of time to make up for. He was a confirmed bachelor until he met Misty, the love of his life who is also twenty years younger than him. I think she is in one of my business classes.

I'm glad he finally found someone, even if it's going to make my life a little more difficult, with no other choice than to spend the night in the same hotel room with the three guys who broke my trust and my heart.

The four-hour drive to Bayside felt more like ten hours since all I could feel was the stares of Coulter, Fin, and Royal burning into the back of my head. This is our first away overnight game, and even though we never talked about it, it was assumed that we would all sit together.

I'm not ready to talk to them. Now that Selina is back, I'm not even sure they want to have anything to do with me.

Oh God, maybe that's why they are staring at me so intently. They're trying to let me down gently.

The bus stops in front of the arena. I grab my duffle bag and rush to the arena, locating the women's locker room in record time.

It's not until I'm changed and warming up on the ice that my nerves kick into a higher level.I do a decent job of avoiding Fin, Royal, and Coulter, electing to surprise my other teammates by joining them in the warm-up drills instead of joining Fin, Royal, and Coulter like I normally do.

"Did you have a fight with your boyfriends?" Mark mocks me in a childish tone.

"Knock it off dipshit." Carter reprimands him, "She's our teammate, and you will treat her with respect."

I'm caught off guard by Carter's words. The day I've always dreamed of being accepted by my teammates is tainted by the knowledge of being used by the three people outside Britt and my family I thought I could trust.

As if my thoughts call to Fin, Royal, and Coulter, they skate up to me, "Teagan, what's wrong? You've been avoiding us." Fin's normally jovial voice is now laced with concern.

The horn sounds alerting us that we need to take our places for the playing of the American and Canadian national anthems before the starting lineups are announced. My heart lurches in my chest, reminding me that I'm still too fragile to listen to anything they have to say to me right now.

I just need to convince them that what we had meant nothing to me, and I'm okay with them moving on to Selina. I need to be strong for myself and all the little girls holding up their signs declaring me as their number one inspiration.

An inspiration that will prove to all my fans that it's okay to be a strong woman in a male-dominated field. Where once it might have been an insult to be told you play like a girl, I'm going to prove them wrong and show everyone that I am better than any of the male competitors I play against. And that it's an honor to be told I puck like a girl.