8. Judgement

Judgement

Macie

M y nights are always so fast paced, thinking, concentration, on my feet, and it's really hard to settle down from all that. So, I go to a spot I have been going since I was a little girl. And this spot has a big story behind it.

I want to show Jax, my reset, my peace after a night like tonight. Throwing my hair up, not in the mood to dry it, I slide into some leggings, a tank top, I look over my shoulder noticing Jax watching my every move.

"Alright, let's go." I say playfully and we walk out of my dressing room.

Not bothering myself with my mother's potential judgmental words, not giving her the chance. I'll see her later, right now, I'm enjoying my good night, a night I just fucking nailed on the stage; Oh, and got nailed! Ha!

We get out to the parking lot, and Jax's phone lays on the hood of my car, with a piece paper that looks like an old receipt of something.

Jax grabs it before he barks out a laugh and I lift a brow, "Apparently, I'm a lucky bastard." He jokes and we both enjoy a good laugh over that one as we get in the car.

I drive to a little hole in the wall restaurant and run in, grab the bag of food that was already waiting for me, knowing I would be here, before I'm back in my car .

"Hungry?" He asks holding a playful smile as I put the bag of food in the back seat.

"Starving!" I giggle, "Aren't you? You play-." I look over with my shocked face, totally spacing he played tonight, "Did you win?"

His lips curl to his cocky smile, and I know right there he did.

"Hell yeah, did any scouts talk to you?" I ask, of course I'm interested.

"No, not tonight, they'll call if they are interested."

I start to drive off and he asks, "Where are you going?"

"I'll show you, but you can't tell anyone." I take a quick glimpse over at him as I shift gears, curling a smile to my face, before I look back to the road in front of me.

He chuckles and it doesn't take long for me to get to my spot and when we do, we get out.

My spot is nothing really special, just a pull off on the side of the road that overlooks the lake, but it is special to me.

"This is your spot?" He asks as I grab the bag of food and put it on the hood of my car.

"Yeah, this is where I come after I dance to unwind and eat; I even catch the sunrise sometimes."

He hums a laugh as he holds that intrigued but playful gaze on me, "How did you keep all this from everyone?"

"Easy. No one cared. Since I threw my skating career away, mom doesn't seem to give a shit about what I do, since it's not what she wants; And I guess Dakota knew so, he didn't ask or get suspicious."

I sit on the hood of my car as Jax rests his ass against it, stretching his long-crossed legs out, and I start pulling out food containers. It's a pile of food, but I don't normally get all this .

"You eat all this?" He asks me in a laugh watching me pull it out and lay on my car.

"Fuck no! " I snap out with my laugh, "I told them I needed extra tonight."

He lifts a playful brow, "So, you knew you could get me out here, uh?"

"I KNOW I can get you to do anything, now." I tease.

He barks a laugh and I follow, most definitely messing with him but, I do like to be a little diva.

"You might be right about that Angel, but don't you fear; So, can I."

"Maybe." I tease.

"Oh alright, just remember, I love a good dare."

I bite my lip with my smile, loving this between us, I know how to joke with these guys.

We both start digging into the food, enjoying our time, just me and him sitting on the hood of my car, looking out over the lake.

"So, are we going on this family vacation?" I ask, not wanting any parts in it.

"Why not? A weekend at the beach house, that's where Dad wants to go."

"You have a beach house?"

"Dad does, not me." He looks over wiggling his brows playfully, "It can be a good time."

"I guess." I roll my eyes with my sighed words.

"What made you start coming up here? " He asks as he nods to our surroundings.

"My dad." I suck in a deep breath letting it out with a sigh as I look out over the lake, and the memories of my dad hit me, "If you really want to know, you are kind of eating with him too."

"Do what?" He looks over with his hard stare and I lift my brow holding my wide playful smile on him. Then I swallow hard not realizing, now I have to explain it, "When Dad got sick, he made me promise that I wouldn't let my mom stick his urn on the shelf to collect dust or sit in a closet."

"So, he told me, to switch the ashes in his urn so mom didn't know and spread his ashes here. And well, I did. So, I guess you're eating with him."

He holds his hard shocked stare on me, probably like what the fuck Macie, until his words bark out in a laugh, "You did what!"

"I know right, dad was slick." We both share a laugh before I explain some more, "He knew mom wouldn't allow it, and he didn't deserve to sit on a shelf, he deserved to be somewhere he loved, outside."

I grit my teeth with my hard swallow, still so angry with my father's death. "He didn't deserve to die like he did" I shake my head as I drop my gaze, instantly feeling my heart wrench with pain.

"I know Angel, your dad was a good man, taught me and Koda a lot."

I nod to that, my dad was a good man, he got sick, and it took him faster than we could blink.

Jax hooks his arm around me, pulling me to his side, and I tuck my head into his chest before he kisses the top of my head, tucking my head under his chin, pulling me in tighter.

We stay just like this. In a way, I think we both needed a minute of quiet from our big nights.

"Anything else on your schedule tonight?" I giggle to his playful question .

"Yeah."

"And what's that?"

"You take me home and snuggle me in a warm bed."

"I can do that."

I pull my head from his chest and look up, meeting his gaze as he curls that soft smile, not that cocky one that normally plays from his lips.

And we do just that. We go home.

NEXT DAY

Macie

It's past noon, and I am still laying in Jax's bed, wrapped in his arms. We didn't get home until almost sunrise so, we've only been asleep a few hours. Well, I only slept a few hours, Jax is still asleep.

It feels weird to be in his bed, snuggled all up with him, knowing both our parents are right down the hall, but I don't care. I haven't felt this security since dad. And it feels damn good. But I really have to pee, so, I wiggle from under his arm, his leg that's laid across mine, and free myself without waking him up.

I run over to my room and of course first thing bathroom. I brush my teeth and get myself dressed. I guess I should go find my mother and get this over with. I really don't want to. I'm sick of the judgement from her. All because I don't want to skate.

I peek my head in Jax's room and see he is still sleeping, huffing a laugh to myself. But to be fair, he did play last night, and it was a pretty intense game, and then everything after.

I make my way down the hall before finding my mother in the living room with Paul, of course, I get them both; Yay fucking me.

"Good morning." I say, knowing damn well it's one in the afternoon now.

"Hi sweetie." my moms soft voice breaks.

I sit on the couch across from them, and my jaw grinds, as they both look at me like I am an alien.

"Nice show last night little lady." Paul chuckles and my mother looks like she might catch a blaze.

"Thanks Paul, glad you enjoyed it."

Pulling my attention to my mother, "So, mom, how did you enjoy the show?" I ask her, and yes, I'm tired and I have an attitude.

"I enjoyed it, but I did not enjoy you basically fucking Jax on stage." Her eyes widen with her last words and I bite my laughter, but the smile still curls, Paul does too, but my mom is serious, "It's not funny Macie, do you do this every night?"

I shake my head, reining my laugh in, because she needs to know, last night, was a little extreme on my part, "I don't mom. First, we only do those shows once a month. AND…"

I hold my words, trying to think of the right way to put them all together, without sounding like a total slut, "I don't normally dance the way I did last night for my lap dances, that was extreme, and because it was Jax." I giggle the last part, knowing I changed that routine, specific for the guys, a lot more provocative than we normally do. I purposely was trying to get them all worked up as pay back for their bull shit I've dealt with over the years. And well, Jax was to tease him just that much more.

Paul gets my drift and laughs, and my mom just shakes her head at me and then, the question I knew was going to come is surfacing from her throat, "So, do you take them home like you did Jax last night?"

My nostrils flare as my jaw clenches, my eyes probably look like they might pop from the sockets before my words hiss from my tongue, "How fucking dare you!" I shake my head, and swallow hard as the tears sting my eyes. The fucking judgement, the accusations of working where I do.

"Lisa, I don't think that's fair. Ther-." Mom cuts Paul off as she holds her hard stare on me, "What's going on between you and Jax?"

I look over to Paul, then back to my mother.

"Don't you think all parties involved should be involved in this conversation too?" My gaze snaps up, seeing Jax leaning against the wall as his jaw ticks. Knowing he's pissed, and he probably just heard what my mother said.

"Why do you judge her so much?" Jax asks as he pushes his shoulder off the wall, and makes his way to the couch beside me and sits down, holding his blackened stare on my mother.

"I don't judge her."

"Then what the fuck do you call what you are doing right now?" Jax snaps, and now I know it's about to get intense and why I didn't want this.

"Easy Jax." Paul warns.

"No, fuck this." Jax growls.

I stand up, one thing I hate is this, I won't have people fight because of me, and I surely won't sit here and listen to the judgement, "Okay, this conversation is over."

"No, it's not" Jax grabs my wrist and yanks me back down on the couch.

"Let's get one thing straight. I, am the one that started this between Macie and me. She said no because of you, she cares that much about your happiness, she wouldn't let it happen. But it fucking happened anyways, and as soon as I'm signed, I'm taking her the fuck away from you so she can be fucking happy; And before you go calling her a whore basically. Watch it, really fucking watch it." I swallow hard with the threatening stare Jax is holding on my mother with his warning, like a possessive lion over his meal, but my mom leans back in her seat, holding that stare.

I didn't tell my mom I was leaving, so here we go…

"You want to leave?" My mother asks, shifting her hard stare on me and I nod, "Yeah, I want to get away from here, there is nothing here for me."

"To do what?" She asks sarcastically.

"Dance."

She shakes her head, letting that annoyed huff slip, dropping her gaze.

"You know, if you weren't such a bitch about me taking a break from skating after dad died, I would be skating, and I would be doing things you only dreamt of doing." I curl my lip to a sinful smile, knowing that burns her up. I had a future in skating, I was going places, and I threw every bit of it away because of her and how she treated me when dad died.

"I'm trying to understand what possessed you to get into dancing the way you do."

"The fucking devil. The one that swallowed me whole after dad, because you left me to mourn his death alone." I snap, then look to Jax, "I'm done, I'm not sitting here anymore."

I stand and Jax reaches for me, and I yank my arm away from him. I don't want touch, I want out of here. He has no idea the bull shit I've dealt with, we are just getting started.

I look back to my mother, "You can either accept me as your daughter, or you can go fuck yourself, and stay the fuck out of my life. I'm not changing for you, or anyone else. "

I walk out towards the hallway, before I stop and turn again, "And fuck your family vacation." I snatch my keys from the hook I hung them on last night, before I bolt down the hall, not giving Jax a chance to catch me, I need to be alone.

I'm in my car in a second, clutch in, quick start, shift to first, and I pull away seeing Jax run out the garage door in my rearview mirror as the waterworks of tears come, over the judgement. I knew it was a bad idea to have her there. But what she doesn't know, is what I do can be done without the sexual tension building.

She doesn't see the beauty in life like I do.

Of course, I drive to my spot, before I get out of my car and sit on the cliff's ledge, looking out over the lake.

Jax

I'm getting ready to fucking lose it; I see it now, the judgement from Lisa, and it's fucking bull shit. It has nothing to do with the fact there is something between Macie and I. This is about her dancing.

Watching Macie drive out of here, pretty quick too, but I know where she's going; I'm going to settle this shit, right fucking now.

I walk back inside and make my way to the kitchen where my father and Lisa now are. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Jax! Enough now." My father shoots me his warning stare.

"No." My father snarls at me and I give it back, I'm fucking pissed.

Lisa looks over at me with her words, "Of course you will defend her, she rode your fucking lap. "

"And you haven't ridden my father's? Or Jack's?"

"Jaxson that is enough!" My father using my full name, thinking he is going to get me to stop, but I won't, not until this shit stops.

"That's not the same Jax, how would you feel if you had a daughter, and she was on stage, half naked, practically fucking a man in a lap dance? How would that make you feel Jax?; That's MY fucking daughter."

"Who is a grown woman." I growl, "You only saw the ending, you didn't see a damn thing that came before that, did you? The talent, the humor, and damn, how happy she was."

"I did." She says it so casually, it makes me sick.

"Then why are you holding it against her? I seriously want to know the answer to this."

"It's not what I want for her."

"Jax I see both sides here." My father decides to finally voice his opinion on this shit, "As a parent I see why Lisa is worried, but, as a coach and someone who knows talent when I see it, I see Macie's side too."

"I get that, I do, I didn't like it at first either, but don't you think it's time Macie gets to be happy. Do what she wants without everyone hating her, judging her?"

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pray like hell it's the call I've been waiting for, and when I pull my phone out, my chest tightens.

"I have to take this." I say as I stare at my phone, seeing the number, the call.

"Is that-"

"Yeah." Not needing him to finish his question, I know what it is. Walking away to take this call alone in case it doesn't go the way I want.

I'm praying it does. Macie won't wait forever.

Paul

This is exactly why I'm happy I had one kid, and it wasn't a girl.

I see Lisa's side, I do, but I see the talent in Macie. I'm trying to stay out of it as much as I can but of course Jax has to start acting like the wild man he can be, which is getting me involved.

Lisa only feels Macie has thrown a talent away she truly didn't want to give up. Deep down, I think Macie still wants to skate, but she's made herself clear she doesn't want it.

This is why Jack could handle Macie better than anyone. Macie sets her mind to something, and she will not break. Jack used to tell me all the time about her sassy shit. But he managed it.

I just hope that call was the call Jax has been working for, and I hope all this shit doesn't fuck him up.

Macie

Managing to pull my shit together, I sit on the rock ledge, at my spot, dangling my feet as I look out.

I won't let my mother ruin anything else for me. Whether she likes it or not, I'm an adult now. She can't hold me under her wing forever, and I'm leaving.

I hear the sound of a motorcycle coming down the road, and I already know it's probably Jax. I shouldn't have left like I did, especially after he defended me. It felt damn good to have someone in my corner, and in a way, I think Paul is too.

Getting my mother to understand there is a whole different story is almost impossible. I understand it's probably not what a mother wants for their daughter to be doing on stage. But, again last night was a little extreme, bad me. What I really want, is so much more, I just have to get there. All of this is practice, giving me more experience, keeping me on my feet, for what I really want.

The bike gets louder as it gets closer, until I hear the sound of the bike slow, knowing for sure it's Jax. He is the only person I've brought here or told.

The sound of the bike disappears, with a few moments of quiet again, before I hear the sound of a stick crack, and I turn, looking up at Jax walking towards me.

"Knew I'd find you here."

I give him a tight smile, turning my head back around, but not before I notice a sparkle in his eyes.

He sits beside me before he asks, "You alright?"

"No Jax, I'm not." I whisper as I fight the tears.

His arm loops around me and the tears start again.

"Don't cry Angel, I hate when you cry." He cups my jaw, raising my chin causing me to look up at him, brushing the tear from my cheek with the pad of his thumb.

"Don't cry Angel." That smile curls, with his next words, "It's happening Macie, I was offered a spot on the Nighthawks team."

My face fills with excitement and my heart pounds in my chest with my words, "Are you serious? Isn't that the team you wanted."

He nods and I swear I can see tears in this man's eyes, but I get the feeling of wanting something so much, working so hard for it, and getting it.

I throw myself into his arms and he pulls me into his lap. Straddling him, he holds me tight, and I return that tightness, feeling this with him. I whisper against his ear, "I'm so proud of you Jax."

He kisses my cheek before I pull back and look into those eyes, and he was right, patience.

"There's a kicker to the deal." He chuckles and I lift my brow, "Oh yeah, and what's that?"

"Sully's going with us."