35. Bea

I watchTravis sitting at the coffee table, broken, trying to fight everything alone. Even with Logan and Blake here, he’s fighting everything alone.

Turning to Blake and Logan, wondering what the hell we should do and how we could help him, they both look between me and Travis.

“Your man is hurting; there is only one person on this earth he needs right now; and you are standing staring at us,” Blake tells me, and I give them both a slight nod.

Slowly walking over to Travis, I kneel on the carpet, softly placing my hands through his hair. “You know she didn”t mean it,” I whisper to him.

Travis slowly lifts his head to look at me, and my heart sinks into my stomach when I see the teardrop on his cheeks, and I have to stop myself from crying with him.

“Maybe she didn’t, but I didn”t protect her-”

“Stop, Travis. What happened to Tessa wasn’t your fault. That was your dad and his sick mind games. You…you are-” I stop because the tears are building, and I can feel the tightness in my throat. “You are a man who doesn”t love halfway, when you love someone, then you give them everything and more. You love your sister, and you know she wouldn’t want you to hold this guilt. Deep down you know that.” I wipe the tear away from his cheek, and he does the same to me, I didn’t even realize I was crying. “Please tell me you know that,” I whisper.

Travis doesn’t reply; he just stares at me. His finger moves down my cheek and softly across my jawline, and he just places it there.

“I’ve found my mom, but I”m losing her at the same time…How do I get my mom back?” I”ve never heard someone sound so broken and full of pain simultaneously.

“With us by your side. I’m not walking away, I’m never walking away.” Travis smiles, which makes me smile too.

“You think I’d let you walk away? You even think about it, I”ll chain you to my bed.” He leans his forehead on mine.

“I’m sure you have another tracker already in me somewhere. Do I get to know where this time?” I ask. I should hate Travis for putting a tracker in me, but if it wasn’t for the tracker, would he have known I was missing?

“Do you really want to know? I’m not losing you again, two days. Those were the longest two days of my life, and they will never happen again. I can’t lose anyone else I love.” His hand moves softly around my neck as he places a small kiss on my lips.

God, how I’ve missed him touching me like this, how I’ve missed his hand there, his lips on mine, I’ve missed Travis.

Do I want to know where Travis has put the tracker? I should say yes, but a part of me doesn’t want to know.

“You want to go for a drive?” he asks, pulling away from me, then looks up the stairs. “I need to get out of the house for a while.” Why is his tone worrying me? I know he’s not one hundred percent, but this tone seems slightly different.

“Where do you want to go?” I ask, standing up when he does. He grabs his keys and looks over at Blake and Logan, who give him a nod as if they know where we are about to go.

Travis takes my hand in his, and I follow him out the door to his car. “After you, Firecracker,” Travis opens the door for me, and I get in, wondering where Travis wants to go.

Travis drives out of the driveway, taking my hand and placing it on his leg, but he doesn’t let go of it. I lean my head on the seat as I try to calm down. This is the first time I’ve left the house since the hospital. I’m unsure what I’m nervous about, but I keep looking at the side mirror to see who”s behind us.

“I’m here, and no one will come close to you. Promise.” Travis kisses the top of my hand, and I give him a small smile, but he looks at me a second longer. “Bea, he won’t get close to you.”

I had a panic attack getting in the shower, the one place I felt most safe. I”m now too scared to get in there—the water. I’m looking over my shoulder, scared that Mr. Parker is around the corner to get me again.

“Where are we going?” I ask him again.

“To introduce you to someone.” Travis turns back to the road, and I ask myself who he wants to introduce me to; I’ve met everyone in his family. “Hello,” Travis answers the phone, and it’s on Bluetooth in the car.

“Michel lost his wife ten years ago; she killed herself. He started a charity to help others who have lost partners. Seems like a good guy.” `Logan”s voice comes through, and I look out the window.

“Called him, telling him you know you want to talk..” Blake adds to the conversation.

“How”s mom?” Travis asks, and my hand tenses up on his leg. Do I feel guilty about his mom? One hundred percent. It’s my fault she was missing for so long. If I had told him from the start, he could have got her sooner and helped her sooner.

“She’s good. She”s in the kitchen making a cake with Mom,” Logan tells him, and Travis laughs. It’s crazy, but it’s a sound I’ve missed from him. See you when you get home; Mom is cooking dinner for us all.”

The lines go dead, and the music plays; still looking out the window, I feel Travis tighten his grip on my hand.

“What’s going through your head?” he asks, and I reply, looking out the window.

“Nothing.”

“Liar, so talk to me now or talk to me later, but you will tell me what the hell is going on in your head,” Travis tells me, his voice still calm. He’s not annoyed, and he”s not angry. It’s like he has so much going on in his head that he doesn’t even know which emotion he wants to use at the moment.

“Travis, your mom-”

“A subject we will no longer talk about. What”s happened has happened; we can’t change it. All I know is; I have my mom”s back and a stubborn woman, a fighter, who wants to argue with me all the time, but I fucking love her. That’s all I care about.” I finally look over at Travis, who is looking out at the road. “I love you, Bea. There is nothing I can do about you hiding my mom from me, but we can move forward and enjoy our time-” He turns to face me with a small smile. “And there are other things I’m sure we can do to have fun.” He gives me a wink, and I shake my head at him.

“I’m sorry, and I love you too.” He kisses my hand a few times. “I love you,” I whisper to myself more, feeling the teardrop on my cheek.

“Hey, tears should only be escaping those eyes when it’s choking on my dick-” I burst out laughing at his comment. “- you think I’m joking?”

“No, because I’ve missed you too.” When the car stops, I look at where we are, and my brows narrow together. What is he doing?

Travis gets out of the car, quickly moves to my side, and opens the door for me. Without a word, he takes my hand, pulling me closer to him. He leads the way for us. Travis wipes the bench for me to sit down, and I look around to make sure no one else is around. I”m still on edge, not sure who is behind me or when someone will get me again.

“Bea, meet Tessa. Tessa, this is my firecracker, Bea.” I lean into him and wrap his arm around me. “Tess, the time is close; Dad will pay for what he did to you and Bea. I’m going to make it painful.” I can’t stop staring at his mom”s grave as Travis continues to talk to Tessa. “I fell in love with Bea before I opened your letter, but I promise I’ll look after her. She’s stuck with me now.” I smile at Travis as he kisses the side of my head.

“You’re stuck with me,” I kiss him on the lips.

Travis looks around and starts bouncing his leg. “There is something…you used to tell me stories about mom… you made me smile every time; we promised each other we would protect one another-” I place my hand on his upper leg, letting him know I’m here. “I let you down, but most of all, I let Mom down-” He shakes his head and looks down at the ground. “I didn’t look for her, I didn’t look into her death…maybe if I did, she would have been with us.”

“Travis-”

“Bea, I can’t blame you, because I blame myself more.” He turns back to Tessa’s grave. “Mom’s grave is next to you, and she’s not even dead. How fucked up is our dad? We knew never to trust him, but he did this to Mom, and my gut is telling me he killed you, Tess.” The words choke out of him; you can hear him hurt in his voice. “All for power, he killed anyone who could stop him.” He shifts in this position, holding my hand a little tighter now. “Cain has Jasper; his life will end painfully, a lot more than what I had planned for him, and dad…well, I’m going to put him six feet into the ground.” Travis turns to me, moving some hair behind my ear. “But my girl has some unfinished business of her own with him first, and she’s going to make him feel what her brother did first.”

“Travis-”

“No, Bea, he will suffer the same way. He will suffer the way they all did.” He places his hands softly around my neck. “You came to town to take him down, and you will.” He kisses me, and I lean in to deepen the kiss. I’ve missed this; I’ve missed him touching me. “I’ll do anything in this world to make you smile, remember that. Don’t care what you ask, I’ll do it.”

“You already know what I want-”

“You’re not ready.” Travis cuts me off, and I move away from him. How does he know I’m not ready? When it’s the only thing I want from him. “You had a panic attack because you were too scared to get in the shower. Even now, you’re looking around, scared my dad is around.” He cups my face, moving closer to me. “You’re scared, and no one blames you, but what will happen if I choke you and you don’t tap?” I don’t know what to say to him; how do I explain that he is correct, but I want him to hold me? “You died, Bea, and it scared me; I had lost a part of me. I’m not risking anything when it comes to you. Do you understand me, firecracker?”

I look into his eyes as mine begin to fill with water. Can this man be any more amazing? Even after hiding his mom, he still puts me first; how did I get so lucky?

I finally nod, letting him know I understand. He places a small kiss on my forehead and pulls me closer as he turns to Tessa”s grave.

“Did you think I’d have a girl?” He laughs, shaking his head. “I didn’t, but here I am—” He pauses and looks at his mom”s grave. “I’ve got someone to get rid of that this afternoon. This doesn”t mean you’re alone, Tess. I’m here, and I’ll always be here.”

“And I’ll keep him in line, well, as much as I can anyway,” I say with a chuckle, and Travis laughs too and whispers.

“You can try.” Travis stands up and takes a step closer to the grave. “I’ll bring Mom to see you, promise-” he kneels, and I hear him whisper. “I love you.” I place my hand on his shoulder, and he tilts his head to smile at me. “I love you too.”

“I love you.” He stands up and puts his arm over my shoulder as we approach the car. I stop, and Travis turns to me. “I know you said what I did was a no-talking subject, but…” I lick my dry lips, clicking my fingers. I”m scared to ask, but I”m afraid of the answer. “Your mom’s going to hate me when she knows the truth, and-”

“I”m not planning on telling her. Now let’s forget about it so we can move forward, yeah?” Travis opens the car door for me, and I look around when I hear voices behind me. “No one’s coming close to you, promise.” Tip-toeing, I give him a kiss, and he smiles.

Travis is moving forward; I need to do the same thing, too, but why is it so hard for me to do it?