Chapter 10

“You know you don’t have to babysit me anymore.” Bishop grumbled as he turned to face me.

It had been over twenty-four hours since he’d been awake, and I hadn’t left his room. I was afraid if I left again, something would go wrong. What if he slipped back into a coma? I needed to be right here with him, just in case. I hadn’t even touched the weed I bought. I needed to stay alert in case something went wrong. I had plans of sleeping in the bed and holding Anya all night for the first time.

Instead, I ended up posted up on the couch in Bishop’s room. I knew she understood, but I went in and talked to her to make sure. Sometimes, I knew I wanted her forever. Other days, I felt like she was too good for me. She was too kind, too understanding, too thoughtful for someone like me.

“I’m good, bro.”

“What you gon’ do if something does go wrong, Psalm? Sitting here ain’t gon’ stop nothing.”

“Bish, you weren’t the one that had to sit here feeling helpless for weeks. I’m not taking any chances.”

“I hear you, baby boy. You can’t put your life on hold for me either though.”

“I’m not.” I shook my head.

“Speaking of that, what’s up with you and that nurse?”

“What nurse?” I frowned.

“So, you fucking her, huh? Good for you.”

“You think you’re so observant.” I shook my head.

“Nah, that’s your thing. I just see how you look at her and how she keeps stealing glances at you. Y’all floating around here like y’all got the biggest secret in the world. I know you’ll get you a sneaky link in here and there, but don’t piss the girl off and make her give me the wrong medicine or some shit.”

“It’s not even like that.”

“Love, huh? I know the feeling.”

“Man, aren’t you supposed to be getting some rest.”

“I’m just making sure my kid brother is good. If you’re getting regular pussy in house, then I don’t have to worry about you,” Bishop said before closing his eyes.

I laughed. “I love you, you ugly muthafucka.”

“I know, bro. Same. Now shut up and let me get some rest.”

Delilah always told us when you’re down to nothing, God is up to something. That was proven first when the only woman to hold my attention for more than a week in over five years just so happened to be my brother’s nurse.

We spent all day together while she made sure that my brother was comfortable in his state. Secondly, the first time I convinced her to spend the night with me, I stepped out to meet my weed man, and she called me in a panic to let me know that by the grace of God, my brother was awake.

The panic and excitement that filled me almost gave me a heart attack. I had no idea what to expect. He wasn’t just out for a few hours. It had been weeks. When I discovered that he was operating at his full bossy capacity, I could have shouted from the rooftops. God was still in the miracle working business.

I made a mental note to visit Delilah’s old church or at least send a healthy donation. It would definitely be a donation because, who was I kidding? I was not going to make it, especially not with Bishop awake and on a rampage to find out who had tried to take him out. The more I dug, the more theories came to me. I didn’t want to start a fire, so I kept my thoughts to myself. At the same time, I presented my brothers with the evidence and let them draw their own conclusions.

It had been weeks since my brother woke up. Life was more complicated than ever between me searching to no end for Delilah’s killer and playing devil’s advocate between Bishop and Syre as they looked for answers in their own way. I was grateful for a short reprieve when Bishop suggested having a family meeting at his house.

For the first time in forever, my brothers, Maven, Divine, and I were all at Bishop’s, hanging out like it was a normal day. Aside from a few questions about how things were going with the search for the person who put the hit on the website, we were having a regular day for a change. Syre put steaks on the grill, and Divine was working on the sides.

“Boy, what’s wrong with you?” Maven asked. He studied my face as he crossed the room to stand in front of me.

“What you mean?” I frowned, wondering what his wannabe funny ass was about to say.

“Something is off with you. You seem sober, and you don’t have that nasty ass attitude.”

“You’re right.” Divine chimed in, giving her unsolicited opinion.

“You got some pussy. Didn’t you?” Maven quizzed, grabbing my chin and turning my face from side to side.

“Get your dick beaters off me, son!” I swatted his hand away.

“You lost your virginity, bro?” Syre asked, knitting his eyebrows curiously.

“Man, go on somewhere with that shit.” I shook my head.

“Nah, for real,” Maven insisted.

“That’s not it. He barely leaves Bishop side,” Syre noted. Keeping his eyes on me, he flashed a shit eating grin. I could tell Bishop had already spilled the beans, but I wasn’t going to humor him by saying anything in response.

Maven’s eyes stretched as he looked between Syre and me. “You might as well fill in the blanks, Psalm.”

“Man, gone on! Don’t y’all have some steaks to burn.”

Leaving the petty crew to their devices, I walked out to Bishop’s back porch to smoke. The past few weeks since Bishop had been awake, Anya had been scarce. She came through to change Bishop’s bandages, but that was about it.

I was overly grateful that my brother seemed to be making a full recovery, but at the same time, I missed Anya’s company. I felt her pulling away from me, and I didn’t like that shit. I’d found a tracker on her car, but she still refused to let me install the cameras.

So far, nothing else fishy had gone on. It didn’t change the unsettling urge I felt to protect her. Anya wanted me to believe that what was going on with her wasn’t my business, but what I wanted to do was beat her soon to be ex-husband’s ass. He didn’t appreciate her when he had her. Now he refused to move out of the way and let somebody else love her properly. I couldn’t stand a selfish ass nigga.

Although we were all at Bishop’s, he was holed up in his bedroom with Lourdess. He must have really liked her to let her come around while we were still on the hunt for the people who wanted him and Delilah dead. My heart skipped when my phone alerted me that Anya was pulling up outside.

She was only coming every other day at this point, but I made sure that she was still being paid for her full-time hours. I needed an excuse to see her as often as I could without seeming like I was smothering her. Hell, Lourdess had already changed Bishop’s dressings, and I made a point of not telling Anya. I wanted to make sure she came out anyway without coming off as thirsty.

When Tommy rang the bell, I excused myself from my ignorant family to go out and meet Anya on the porch. I didn’t want those losers in our business. They were already speculating.

I met Anya out front and asked her to walk around the back to watch the horse. I noticed that she liked to sit on the back deck and watch the horses play. Since I didn’t want to walk her through the house yet, I took her the back way.

“Lourdess already changed the dressings on Bishop’s wounds,” I revealed as I moved forward to lean against the wooden fence.

“Aw hell, how is he doing overall?”

“He’s good. Hardheaded and stubborn as ever, so he’s pretty much back to normal.”

She laughed. “That’s a good thing.”

“It is. I really appreciate you for looking out for him. I don’t think anyone is more grateful than him though.”

“Why do I sense a but coming?”

I shook my head. “There isn’t one.”

“Maybe not today, but I have enough sense to be looking for another job.”

“Anya, don’t quit.”

“It’s only a matter of time before Bishop won’t need me at all. It’s better for me to stay on top of it.”

“What if I don’t want you to go?” I asked, keeping my attention on the horses.

“I’m almost certain that the only reason your brothers keep me on is because of you. You and I both know Bishop doesn’t need me anymore. I should have kept things professional between us. I know it’s time for me to go, and I hate to because I have gotten so used to being around you. We’re already getting too close as it is. I have all this shit piling up around me. I can’t even get a fucking divorce right now. Us being together only complicates things more. I have to worry about doing what’s right for me. I don’t have anyone else I can depend on.”

“Depend on me. Let me help you.”

“This isn’t your problem, Psalm. I’m not your problem.”

“You’re not a problem, Ny.”

“But I have plenty of them.” She scoffed.

“Lucky for you, I’m a problem solver.”

“You’re cute.” She pinched my cheek like I was two years old.

Pushing off the fence, she stood up straight. “Don’t leave. My brother is grilling.”

“I can’t hang around here like I know y’all, Psalm. I guess I’ll call before I come next time,” she said before strolling back toward her car.

I cursed myself under my breath for not saying what I felt the need to say. I wanted to stop her and tell her fuck the job. What about us? What about me? I knew it was risky getting involved with Bishop’s nurse, and I did it anyway.

Now the reality that I dreaded had come to pass. My brother was recovering, but my heart was now on my sleeve for everyone to see. Now the issue was whether to put myself out there and let Anya know just how much I wanted her or to let her go.