Chapter Three

Alana

B EING IN CLINTON with my brother and sister filled me with a sense of safety and peace that I haven’t felt in the year since I’ve been with Terrence. Jameson and Reagan doted on me and gave me a few hours before the inquisition started. We were sitting at a table in the common room of the Fallen Brethren clubhouse with Trax and I knew it was just a matter of time before my big brother started to ask the questions I didn’t want to answer. It was hard enough to tell my family back in Clifton Falls about the pain I’ve endured over the last year with Terrence. Now it’s time to share my horrid past once more with my brother and sister.

“Sis, I need you tell me what the fuck has been going on,” Jameson says, a soft note to his voice despite the anger simmering in the depths of his eyes.

“Do we really have to do this, Jameson?” I return, my voice hesitant as I look between my family members.

“Yeah, we do. Dad won’t tell me anythin’ and neither will Pops. I’ve talked to everyone back home and no one’s talkin’. All they’ll tell me is that it’s your story to share and if I want to know what’s goin’ on then it has to come from you,” Jameson informs me with a smirk because this isn’t the first time our family members have closed rank and not given up the information someone else wants.

Grabbing the bottle of vodka in the middle of the table, I pour myself three shots and down them quickly before returning my brother’s and sister’s shot glasses to them. This is definitely a story that needs liquid courage to get through because I know my brother is about to lose his shit and that’s not something I like seeing. Jameson is usually very cool headed and it takes a lot to push him over that edge. That’s why I’m glad it doesn’t happen very often.

“What’s going on?” Zoey asks, walking up to our table and sitting on my brother’s lap and offering me a smile.

“Your sister-in-law is just about to tell us about Terrence and what the hell’s been goin’ on with them,” Jameson says, turning serious and not looking at his wife since his eyes are locked on me.

“I met Terrence about a year ago. He asked me out and I said yes even though I didn’t get the best vibe from him. When you have the family members I do, it’s kind of hard to date and find a guy willing to go up against a club full of bikers. It didn’t take long for the jabs to start from Terrence about everything. He would pick on my appearance, call me a slut, ask me how many bikers I was fucking every single time I was at the clubhouse. It got to the point I didn’t want to go there anymore because I was tired of being accused of fucking men who are my uncles and cousins regardless if there’s a blood connection.

“From there, he started to alienate my friends and accuse me of going out with the few I had to cheat on him or find someone better. So, I stopped hanging out with anyone and spent all of my time at my apartment doing nothing but editing pictures I took and reading. My apartment was so damn clean you could eat off the floors. Still, I didn’t leave him.

“Terrence would start taking ‘breaks’ from our relationship so he could fuck other women and he flaunted them all right in front of me. The fucking didn’t stop when we weren’t on a break though. And he still didn’t hide that shit from me. The worst was when I went to Pine View to photograph King and Brynn’s wedding. When I got back, I was accused of fucking bikers and all sorts of other shit. Terrence was completely in my head and I almost believed his words even though I know I didn’t do anything except dance with Geek and Ghost at the reception. The rest of the time I was working and doing what I was paid to do.

“That’s when he started putting his hands on me. The first time, he shoved me and I fell over the edge of the coffee table. My head hit the corner and I bled a lot as head injuries do. He refused to help me or let me go to the hospital as punishment for whatever transgression he thought I committed against him. The last time, I truly did nothing wrong. All I did was go to the clubhouse to help everyone decorate for Christmas. Then I helped them make dinner and ate with our family. We got into an argument before I even left the apartment. The second I got home, the accusations started. Terrence beat the hell out of me and left the second he was done. I somehow managed to call Dad and passed out before I could say anything to him. I woke up in the hospital and was there for two weeks. No one can find him and they’ve been looking since this happened.

“Now, you all know everything about my relationship and the shame and guilt I’ve carried with me for a year,” I tell my family as they stare at me with mouths hanging open in shock.

Jameson and Trax both have red faces and the veins in their necks are sticking out and pulsing rapidly with their heartbeat. This is the first sign I know my brother is about to lose his shit as Zoey turns and wraps her arms around his neck while burying her face in his neck. I can tell Reagan and her are crying from my story even though I delivered it in one of those monotone voices that’s devoid of all emotion because it’s the only way I can get through that story.

“Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me? This fucker is still out there walkin’ around and no one can find him? Does he have a corporate job or an inheritance?” Jameson questions me, rage filling his voice as everyone else in the room stops talking and looks over at our table.

“He is still out there somewhere. No one knows where he is. They’ve even got Fox and King looking into him to see where he is. Terrence doesn’t have any job. He’s been living off of my money for the last year and I haven’t had any cash on me so he left with no money,” I answer my brother and know immediately it was the wrong thing to say.

“Fuck!” Jameson yells out as Trax’ arms tighten around my sister’s body and he holds her even closer to him.

I watch as my brother taps Zoey and she stands from his lap before he gets out of his seat and he makes his way over to me. Jameson pulls me out of my chair and wraps his arms around me tightly. I bury my face in his chest as I used to do when I was a little girl and he would pick me up after I got hurt when we were out playing. Zoey and my sister are crying and that’s when the first tear slips from my eye and rolls down my face to land on Jameson’s shirt.

“I’m so sorry, Alana. If I’d known, I would’ve stepped in and beat the fuck outta him before anyone else could get to him,” Jameson tells me, his voice a whisper so only I can hear him.

“While I’m pissed as fuck at what you’ve been through, Alana, you have to know this isn’t your fault. There is no reason for you to feel shame or guilt,” Trax says from his seat at the table. “This is completely on that stupid fuck.”

“It’s on me too, Trax. I heard our mom’s story right along with everyone else when we were growing up and followed the same path she did. I could’ve left Terrence at any time over the last year and never did. I even went back to him after King’s wedding. So, yeah, I have something to feel shame and guilt over. Maybe this is my punishment for taking him back time after time,” I say, pulling away from Jameson and indicating the bruises and cuts I still have on my face and neck and lifting the hand with the purple cast covering it.

“No, Alana. We all know that you have to reach your breaking point before you get out of an abusive relationship. Mom taught us that with her story and you know it’s true,” Reagan states adamantly as she walks over to pull me into her arms. “I will be asking all about Ghost and Geek at a later point in time. I’m not going to forget that little tidbit of information you dropped.”

We all sit down at the table once more and I watch as Jameson starts typing away on his phone. I know without a doubt he’s talking to our dads and Pops back home. Zoey and Reagan fill me in on everything going on with the kids. Between Jameson and Reagan, I have four nephews and two nieces. No one can say our family doesn’t know how to create more life because it seems all of our families are big. Haley, Viking, and Bull even have four kids. They had a set of twins and then a son and daughter after. Brandon, Kyle, and I are the only ones without kids so far and our family is already huge. We’ll need somewhere larger than the clubhouse soon if we all keep having kids.

T oday is the day I’m leaving Clinton and making my way to Cedar Bay to hang out with Haley and her family. She’s been blowing up my phone since Jameson filled her in on what happened with Terrence. No, I never confided in her and I know the second I get there Haley will be on my ass demanding to know why I didn’t talk to her about my situation or run to her to get away from the asshole. My twin doesn’t hold anything back when it comes to me and her men will back her up without hesitation.

“Sis, are you gonna be able to do a photoshoot with one hand?” Jameson asks me, walking up to where I’m messing with my equipment by the field Reagan and Zoey chose to do this in.

“Yeah. I’m good, Jameson. Worst case I’ll use the tripod if my hand starts bothering me. I’m excited to do these photos for you,” I answer him with a smile on my face.

Right now I’m in my element as I make sure everything is ready to go so we can get this on the road. With a nod to my brother, he rounds everyone up and waits to hear what I want to do. We start out with all of them in the photos. The adults stand behind the kids and I manage to get a few serious pictures where the kids aren’t pulling faces or other shit my nieces and nephews tend to do. I then take pictures of the kids all together and those ones are hilarious. The boys are trying to outdo one another with making faces and doing the most outrageous things they can during the pictures. I’m laughing my ass off at their antics.

Next, I separate my family members and take pictures of Jameson, Zoey, and their kids before moving on to Reagan, Trax, and their kids. These pictures are really good and I only have a few where the kids photobombed the other family. If my parents were here, they’d be laughing so hard and Pops would be encouraging everything going on right now.

“Sis, I want some pictures with you too. You’re never in the pictures if you can help it,” Reagan says, walking up to me.

“No. I look like shit and this isn’t the right time to have my picture taken. I will always be in the background and that’s okay with me,” I tell her, seeing the look on her face that lets me know Reagan’s not going to back down. Especially when she turns her eyes toward Jameson to get him on board with this plan of hers.

“I think Reagan’s right this time, Alana. We don’t have any pictures with you in them. It’s time for you to get in a few with us. I know the kids will love it too. You’re talented enough that you can cover up whatever shows from the attack on you. We all want this and it’s gonna happen. You know that you can set the damn timer and shit to ensure the pictures are good,” Jameson states, his face missing the smirk or any trace of his smile that’s normally showing.

I let my head drop because with the two of them already on my ass about this, it’s only gonna be a matter of time before my nieces and nephews join in. I can ignore a lot of shit until it comes to the kids in my life. They will always get their way because I’m the overindulgent aunt who spoils them rotten before leaving them back with their parents to deal with the fallout of whatever I’ve done that time.

“Fine,” I grumble, setting my camera up as Zoey and Reagan round up everyone.

The kids holler in excitement and make their way over to stand in front of the camera as I double check everything once again. Reagan links our arms together and pulls me to stand directly in the middle of all the kids and in front of the couples behind me. Xavier, Reagan’s oldest son, and Blake, Jameson’s oldest son, grab my hands on each side and smile up at me. Their faces are lit up with excitement as they turn back to the camera just in time for it to go off. Xavier pulls my hand and I bend down while he places a kiss on my cheek. Blake can’t be outdone so he gives my other cheek a kiss before all the kids are peppering kisses on my cheeks and we end up on the ground as I lift my hand in the air so none of them accidently hurt it.

After several minutes, my brother and sister pull their kids away and I go back to make sure the picture was taken and we don’t have to redo it. Tears fill my eyes as I stare at the viewing screen on my camera. While the bruises and cuts stand out on my pale face, the love on everyone’s faces shine bright. I’m looking down at my oldest nephews and the smile on my face is one I haven’t had in a very long time. Not since long before I ever met Terrence.

“Don’t cry, Alana,” Jameson says, walking over and pulling me into his arms to hold me close. “I got you, baby sis. I’ve always got you no matter what’s goin’ on.”

“I love you, Jameson. I’ve missed you so much,” I tell him as he returns the words and my youngest niece toddles over and lifts her hands in the air.

Berkliegh is Trax and Reagan’s youngest daughter and she’s an exact replica of my sister. I lift her in my arms and she rests her head on my shoulder, her warm breath fanning out over my neck. It doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep in my arms as I cradle her little body close. Jameson packs away my equipment and makes sure it’s all safe and secure before we make our way back to the clubhouse.

The rest of the day we spend our time in the common room. I get to know the club members of the Fallen Brethren and the ol’ ladies welcome me with open arms. It’s a ton of fun and I know these men and women are no different than my family back home. They might not walk on the right side of the law, but it doesn’t change who they are or what their core values are. I’m accepted without hesitation simply because of Jameson and Reagan and it’s a feeling that brightens up my world. At the end of the day, the men and women who don’t follow anyone else’s rule care more about me than a man who is supposed to be on the right side of the law. Terrence will never understand what this means to me because he’s an entitled narcissist who only gives a fuck about himself.