Chapter 4

Four

Kami

" W hy did I let myself get talked into this?" I paced back and forth in my cozy little room. Though it didn't seem quite as cozy anymore. Not since I slammed into it after all but running from the dining room.

No, cozy didn't describe it. But other "c" words worked.

Cloying. Claustrophobic. Confined.

I marched the path again from the front window on one wall to the dresser on the opposite wall. My hand pressed against my chest as if I could force the air in and out of my lungs.

Being honest with myself, I had to admit, it wasn't this room that was oppressive. I'd been fighting to breathe since before I returned to it.

No, my ability to breathe had been impacted the moment I heard his voice behind me. My whole body had responded as if he'd flipped a switch, I'd slapped duct tape over years ago. The careful control I pride myself on washed away like it had been hit by a tsunami and pulled out to sea. How on earth could someone I'd never met, hell, hadn't even seen at that point, make me have that sort of physical reaction?

A tingle of fear ran up my spine, stopping me in my tracks. Was this how my mother had felt all those years ago when she found her ‘true soulmate'? Knots tangled in my gut at the memories and I pressed a hand to my gut to ease the pain.

I resumed my pacing, the hand on my chest moving up to shove my hair away from my face. As soon as I dropped my hand, my hair tumbled back down.

With an impatient huff I snatched a hair band from where I'd left several on the nightstand. I twisted my heavy hair into a knot at my neck, for once not caring about styling it into something neat and tidy, just needing it out of my face.

My mind flashed with an image of Trevor Ford. I sat down hard on the bed as I recalled the moment when the man came into view. If I'd thought his voice did things to me, that was nothing compared to how I reacted when I caught my first sight of him after so many years.

My one-time sweetheart was tall, his shoulders broad, testing the limits of the red plaid, flannel shirt he wore. His dark hair was in need of a trim, beginning to dip down over his forehead.

And his eyes. Holy. Hell. They still had the power to knock me off my feet.

The rich dark brown seemed almost black. The minute I caught his penetrating gaze on me, I felt as if he could see every deep, dark corner of me. Every thought, every secret, every feeling I had for him, and still do.

The oddest part was that I wanted to let him see all that. I wanted him to see past the perfectly tailored clothes I used as a mask to hide the pain he left me with. Past the neat hair and carefully applied makeup. I wanted him to see beneath the still waters of the surface and into the murky, churning depths of me.

I wanted him to pull me from those depths. Did admitting that make me weak or honest?

And then he sat across the table from me and smiled and took my hand like we've done this every day of our lives.

Like a scarred idiot, I'd fled. There was no other way to describe it. When I tried to speak to him, I found myself choking on all the things I wanted to say.

I hadn't been able to sit there and pretend I could engage in a normal conversation. I'd stood and stuttered out a few words of needing a minute before I flew up to my room.

I dropped my face into the palms of my hands, my elbows to my knees. I was the owner of a very successful business. I'd negotiated with the best of them, from extremely wealthy landowners to temperamental chefs. None of it ever fazed me, and I always got what I wanted.

But two minutes in a room with Trevor again and I was a blithering idiot.

I sucked in a steadying breath and lifted my head to stare out the window. I'd almost expected the scenery to change. Maybe have some ominous, dark clouds rolling in.

But no, the sunshine still spilled through the trees. The landscape still had that hopeful expectancy of summer about to burst through to disrupt the lazy energy of spring.

I could feel an answering call deep down inside myself. Like something was there, just waiting to burst through the brittle ice of the carefully constructed exterior I showed to the world every day.

No. I jumped from the bed. I knew coming to Hartwood was a huge mistake, but even I couldn't have predicted just how big.

I stomped to the closet and pulled out my large suitcase. I tossed it on the bed and flipped it open. Time for me to get the heck out of here.

I stepped over to the bureau and opened the top drawer where I'd unpacked my bras and panties, each neatly folded and placed next to its coordinating partner.

Without thought, I scooped up all of them and dumped them unceremoniously into the bottom of my suitcase. I moved to the next drawer full of socks and pajamas and repeated the process.

Just as I moved to the closet to start snatching clothing from hangers, my phone chimed. I dug it from my pocket. If it was Asha texting me. I could warn her that I was cutting this trip short. I'd tell her I didn't think my hometown was the right place for the wedding her sister wanted, that I would keep looking. Elsewhere.

But it wasn't Asha texting me. It was her sister Lily:

I know you probably haven't had a chance to do much sightseeing yet, but I'm DYING to hear how it's going. Have you planned the perfect wedding yet?

I dropped to the bed like a balloon someone had stuck a pin into. My gaze once again flew to the window. I took in the view and then the idea the scenery had inspired for the perfect, magical wedding of Lily's dreams popped into my head.

My dreams of the happily ever after with the mountain man might be dead, but I didn't have to kill Lily's

Was I really going to disappoint my best friend, truly my only real friend, and her little sister? And more importantly, was I really going to allow some random guy to chase me away from doing my job?

That was the thought that got me moving. I jumped up once again and marched to my suitcase. I stared in horror at what Trevor had driven me to. My underwear, socks, and pajamas were a tangled mess in the bottom of my suitcase. I'd allowed this man to drive me to lose my self-control and almost run away with my tail between my legs.

Unacceptable. With a huff of annoyance at my own behavior, I unpacked my suitcase and made sure everything was put back into the drawers as neatly and orderly as I had last night.

I was going to create a fairytale wedding for Lily. I was not going to let my past get to me again. And now I was prepared for Trevor. If I even saw him again, and that was a big if since Mrs. Morgan said the other lodgers were leaving tomorrow. But if he did come back around I would be able to handle it the same way I always handled things—efficiently and with my cool and calm exterior intact.

Once I finished stowing the suitcase back in the closet, I picked up my phone and replied to Lily's text: You are going to have the most magical wedding I've ever planned. I promise.

And with that, I grabbed a coat and keys and headed out to keep my word.

E ight hours later I was beginning to regret my hasty promise. I'd spent the entire day, with the exception of a quick stop in town for lunch, tooling around in my rental car. I must have driven down every road in Hartwood. Twice. I'd gotten out to walk around and take in the sights in a bunch of places, but as gorgeous as the scenery was, nothing quite fit the picture I had in my head.

My stomach grumbled, reminding me it had been a while since the salad I had for lunch. I was tired and still a little jet lagged and my feet were throbbing in my pretty red flats. I'd imagined looking professional when I discussed renting property and hiring wedding vendors. I hadn't bargained for spending hours tromping over uneven ground, climbing hills to reach the edge of forests, or walking along the lakeshore in search of the perfect locations. My feet were definitely paying the price for my vanity.

With a sigh, I took one last look around the field I'd stopped to check out before heading back to the rental car. I debated stopping in town for dinner. I was pretty sure I had time until sunset. I definitely didn't want to get caught out in the dark on the winding road back to the lodge.

I shuddered at the thought of what could be lurking in the forests in bear country at night. Add to that, the agony my feet suffered. They screamed to be released from the confines of their shoes.

I thought of the breakfast Mrs. Morgan served up this morning and my stomach responded with an even louder rumble. I couldn't help but laugh at the sound. I gave my stomach a pat. "Mrs. Morgan's home cooked dinner it is."

I ignored the shot of apprehension that went through me at the possibility of running into Trevor again. Surely the fishing trip was long since over and he went back to…wherever it was he lived now.

A little while later I approached the dining room for the second time that day. As soon as I got back to my room, I'd changed into a pair of comfortable, though expensive and well-tailored jeans, a soft gray sweater with tiny flowers embroidered around the neckline and cuffs, and the best part of the whole outfit—a pair of wool house shoes with fleece lining. I'd almost wept in relief when I slipped out of the pointy-toed flats and into these. And while I probably still looked a little overdressed by Hartwood standards, I should fit in a little better in this outfit than I had this morning.

The scents wafting toward me pulled me forward until I stood on the threshold of the dining room. I allowed my gaze to do a quick inventory of the room's occupants, but it almost seemed unnecessary. I knew the moment I stepped inside that Trevor wasn't there. Something deep inside me that I didn't even want to acknowledge had sensed him the moment he entered the room this morning. But that electric, hyper-awareness wasn't here this evening.

I ignored the fact that a glimmer of disappointment flashed through me at his absence. I strode forward and offered up a smile to the men in the room. The tables were only about half full, and I took a seat in the spot I'd occupied this morning.

Mrs. Morgan came through a set of swinging doors that I assumed led to the kitchen with a large platter in her hands. She set it down on the table and I could see a heaping pile of battered and golden-fried fish.

"The men had a successful trip! We're having the fruits of their labors for dinner." Mrs. Morgan leaned down to me and whispered close to my ear. "I might have added a few extra fillets from my freezer to the mix, but we'll keep that our little secret."

I grinned up at her and she winked before scurrying back to the kitchen. This time she returned with two helpers, all of them laden with platters and bowls. Before I knew it, the table had filled and I had a plate piled high with fried fish, coleslaw, homemade French fries and a green salad. The men conversed amicably about their day, the fish they'd caught and the ones that got away, and the things they'd spent the week doing. A home cooked meal and a table full of people chatting about their day were not something I'd experienced very often, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel myself relaxing and enjoying every moment of it.

Mrs. Morgan took her spot next to me at the head of the table. "How was your day, dear? Were you successful in finding a wedding location?"

"No. I drove all over town. I visited so many lovely spots, but nothing really grabbed me. I guess I'll try again tomorrow." A small pang of…something…went through me realizing how nice it was to have someone ask about my day. I didn't realize how lonely big city life had become.

"I'm sure you'll find something soon," Mrs. Morgan said.

I sighed. "I'm keeping my fingers crossed. This isn't just any client. It's my best friend's little sister. I want it to be really special and make my hometown proud at the same time."

She smiled at me. "That's so sweet. I'm sure she'll appreciate all your hard work."

"I hope so. Maybe tomorrow I'll go a little deeper into the forest." I pulled my brows together. "Though, I'm not sure that's such a great idea. I'm not exactly an outdoor adventurer anymore. I'm a little nervous about getting lost in the woods."

An electric zing went through me right before his voice hit my ears. "I'll take you, sweetheart."

Part of me wanted to stand, smack him and tell him to never call me another endearment again. The unreasonable part of me melted into her seat.

I turned, my heart stuttering in my chest, to find the gloriously rough and lickable man I wish I could hate standing behind me. All my best plans for how I would react if and when I saw him next flew right out the window. I opened my mouth to speak, but like an idiot, I couldn't get two words to string together. I closed it again and he grinned at me as he slid his muscular form into the chair next to mine.

"Thanks for the invite, Mrs. Morgan." He directed his words at the older woman, but mid-sentence his eyes drifted back to me, pinning me to my spot. And shooting way too much happy energy in the direction of my clit.

"Of course! We always have a spot for you."

I glanced at Mrs. Morgan and found her eyes twinkling with amusement, dancing between Trevor and me.

Great. On top of everything else, the last thing I needed was to have the well-meaning woman playing matchmaker.

"I don't have any clients tomorrow." Trevor's deep voice brought my head swinging around toward him. "I can help you."

"You can help me?" I repeated inanely wondering if he would take my hand to help me over fallen logs and large tree roots like he used to. Falling into his arms when I suddenly trip over my own feet wouldn't be bad to experience again.

The corners of his mouth twitched, but his eyes were intense on me as he leaned in closer. "Tell me what you need and I'm there."

You. Me. And a bed ran through my mind.

South of my brain, so many things happened in my body all at once at his words that I had trouble cataloging them all. My stomach did a strange, slow somersault. My heart stopped and then started again, double time. My mouth went dry and my nerve endings sizzled. A strange, exultant feeling shimmered through me, like I'd gotten on the best roller coaster ride in the world, and I wasn't sure I'd ever want to get off.

"I need to find a location in the forest to have a wedding."

At my words, his eyes shuttered. His face went completely blank and he sat back in his seat. "A wedding?"

I nodded, my gaze searching for a clue as to why his expression lost all semblance of emotion. It was only as I took stock of the lack of emotion that I realized how much had been there before.

He liked me being here. And he thought the wedding was mine.

I should let him believe that. It would serve him right for all the tortuous heartache he put me through.

I nodded content on letting him believe whatever he wanted.

"Miss Mackenzie is a wedding planner," Mrs. Morgan chimed in. "She's here planning her best friend's little sister's wedding. So she needs something extra special."

I turned to Mrs. Morgan as she spoke, but about halfway through her explanation, I felt the heat at my back.

I whipped my head around to find Trevor leaned in close to me, his face soft once again. "So it's not your wedding you're planning?"

I shook while I silently cursed having my plans squashed.

He grinned. "Good," he rumbled in a sexy growl holding enough heat to crack part of the icy exterior I've built around me over the years.

His grin widened.

Mrs. Morgan jumped in to fill the silence before things could get any more awkward. "This is perfect. You know Trevor knows Hartwood like the back of his hand. I'm sure he can help you find the perfect spot for the wedding you have in mind. No trudging through the rambling forest alone needed."

Okay. Maybe I'd been too hasty in thinking it was a good thing Mrs. Morgan filled the silence. How on earth was I going to get myself out of this?

"I'd be happy to take you anywhere you want to go," Trevor said. "What did you have in mind?"

I blinked up at him for several long seconds. "I thought I'd do a fairytale theme. I wanted to do something really elegant, but in the middle of a forest setting. Of course, it can't be too remote. We want to make sure all the guests can easily get to the location." As I spoke, I realized by filling in all the details, I might be inadvertently agreeing to the plans he and Mrs. Morgan were making to have him take me around the town. I put my hand on his shoulder. "Oh, but I didn't mean you have to take me…"

Muscles shift and bulge as he moves in.

"I know I don't have to. I want to," Trevor said, his eyes steady on mine. "We can catch up."

I swallowed and found myself getting lost in his hooded eyes and calm expression. A familiar warmth ignited deep in my belly and spread throughout my body. There was something about him I had no power to ignore. My mom said that feeling was a clue to being near your soulmate.

I called it horse shit. She called it fate.

That thought brought me back to my senses. Business. I was here on business.

I was not turning into some ridiculous creature who fell at the feet of the man who burned me just because his eyes and panty-dropping smile made old memories spring to mind.

Though, if I were being honest with myself, I had to admit that Trevor was more than attractive. He was every bit the poster boy for the Navy SEALs.

He wasn't classically handsome. His face was too rugged for that with the fine lines around his eyes as if he spent lots of time in the sun, the crook in the middle of his nose that said he'd broken it a time or two, and the small scar that cut into his top lip.

And then there were the scars crisscrossing his forearms. They caught my attention earlier this morning. From his time in the Navy, I assumed.

His height and broad shoulders normally made women of my size wary. Instead, I had this odd sense of being protected. The straight lines of his jaw and cheekbones made him look strong, like he could handle any and everything life sent his way.

It kind of made me jealous. I wanted to be that strong.

His dark eyes, they were almost indescribable. The way he looked at me in the penetrating way he did, made me feel stripped bare. Like he could see all the parts of me I kept hidden from the world.

And that's the thought that had me searching for my inner ice princess. The one who protected me from the advances of strange men in cities across the globe.

But Trevor is no stranger.

I ignored the pang of regret that hit me. If I gave into all these feelings coursing through me, I'd be no better than my flitty mother. Time to put a stop to…whatever this was going on here. I didn't come here for a walk down memory lane.

But I never got the chance. Once again Mrs. Morgan stepped into the breach. "Wonderful! It's all settled then! Trevor, you can come in the morning and take Miss Mackenzie all over Hartwood and I'll pack you both a lunch."

"Oh, but..." I started, at Mrs. Morgan.

"That would be great. Thank you, Mrs. Morgan." Trevor rose from the table. "And thank you for dinner. I hate to eat and run but I have a few things I need to take care of tonight in order for tomorrow to go smoothly."

What did that mean?

"I don't think…" I tried again, but before I could get more than those three words out, Trevor was turning those eyes on me. I swear he was doing something to me with that look. My ice princess melted like a puddle before she even had a chance to think about giving him the cold shoulder.

"I'll come by around nine tomorrow, sweetheart. Be ready for me, Kami." He gave me a wicked looking smile and stepped closer to my seat. Leaning in he whispered, "We'll have a lot to discuss, baby. You're on my mountain and this time I won't be a fool and let you go."

My heart failed to beat. He withdrew and our eyes connected. My lips parted and he didn't care that Mrs. Morgan looked right at us when he slid his lips across mine.

And I guess i didn't care either, because I kissed him right back.

"Kami," he said my name in a husky roll of sin waiting to happen. "Until tomorrow."

My one-time lover reached for me. Rough palms glided over the smooth skin of my cheek and the friction sent currents over my body.

"Nice to meet you, Kami," he said in a roughened tone.

His velvet over gravel voice coupled with his touch almost made me fall out of my chair. I felt like some delicate heroine in a regency novel who should be calling for the hartshorn and smelling salts to revive me from the spell that was making me dizzy and lightheaded.

Since I didn't have any hartshorn or smelling salts on hand, I fortified myself with a deep breath and somehow managed to nod and not invite him back to my room to give those hands something to touch. "Tomorrow then, I guess."

He took my hand in his much larger one, his gaze never leaving mine, and I was lost to him. At that moment, I knew real fear because I knew all he had to do was touch me and look at me like he was right that moment and I would follow him anywhere.

And I didn't care if it made me look weak.