Chapter 31

Danika was surprised at how much she enjoyed living in California. Or maybe it was just living with James, but she really liked the people she encountered at work as well as the military guys James was friends with. Their wives and girlfriends were great, too.

James surprised her with two nights at a hotel near Hollywood. Excitement built as she packed her bag. She wasn't so big into TV shows, but she loved movies, and seeing some of the places where they shot the films she loved would be amazing.

The drive wasn't too bad. Once they were close to Los Angeles, the number of cars seemed to multiply each second. It was odd. Like there'd been a fair number of cars, and then suddenly, as if they appeared out of thin air, there were twice as many cars.

They stopped for dinner in some town she couldn't name because it was just a constant city the whole way. This was so different from Georgia. It was more like New York. On her travels from Savannah to California, she hadn't run into anything this congested. No wonder traffic was so bad.

She shook her head as traffic slowed again. "So many people."

"It is packed. I will say Japan is worse."

"You've been to Japan?"

"Yeah, before I became a SEAL, the ship I was on stopped in Japan, and I was lucky enough to get a weekend leave. Of course, I headed to Tokyo. It was amazing. I stood out like a pimple on a chin, but I had fun. I stayed in one of those places where you get a bed in a stack of beds, and the bathroom was down the hall. It was interesting. They call them capsule hotels."

"So you had a small hole you slept in? Was it hot?"

"No, not too bad. I was going on the cheap and didn't care about having a bunch of stuff in the room, anyway. I had a blast. It was fun. I'm glad I got a chance to travel."

"I enjoyed London and what I saw of Scotland, but I wish I would have done it on my own and not tied to someone else."

"At least you're free now."

She stared at the passing buildings, sometimes seeing people inside, other times the places were obviously office buildings and were vacant. There was so much she missed when Ezra had kept her locked up.

James put his hand on her knee and squeezed. "You seem sad."

She let go of a harsh breath. "Sorry. Just thinking that when we were kids, it all seemed so easy. Like everything was possible, at least for me. I didn't understand how screwed up life really was. Like I made a decision to go to the UK with Ezra, and I thought it would be fun. I quit my job and threw everything away, living in the moment. Then, I was trapped. We're thirty-one now, and I thought life would be easier, better by the time I was in my thirties." She turned in her seat to face him. "It is better with you, but back then, I really thought everything would be so much easier. I thought by my thirties I would be settled."

"I get that. I mean, I'm thirty-one and haven't had a serious relationship. Not that having a certain type of relationship is any measure of a person. But back when we were kids, I thought that was everything. Now I've learned there's more to life than just getting married and having kids."

Danika chuckled. "I thought the same thing. They really drilled that into us."

"They really did. I mean, propaganda and all. It's like we had no options."

"So what do you really want out of life?"

He pulled into a parking garage and circled up a few levels. "Maybe kids. I'm not sure. I mean, I don't want to not have kids, but kids aren't the answer I thought they were." They were parked, and James cut the engine and then turned to her. "I wouldn't mind being married to the right person. But I think that takes time to figure out."

She nodded. "I get what you're saying. I don't know if we're right. Like, I think we're in this spot, this position to be excited, but I've been through so much crap, and I don't trust myself."

He stepped from the car and came around, helping her out. "Back when I was younger, I thought having as many sexual partners as possible was the goal. There were times I didn't even seek out sex, but I won't lie and say I abstained all the time. I learned that kind of sex was hollow. Like, it meant nothing. Those women didn't care about me, and I didn't care about them."

He grabbed the bag from the back of the car and then slung his arm around her shoulder as they made their way over to the hotel.

"I care about you."

He nodded. "And I care about you. I can guarantee that back when I was a teenager, I might have liked you, but caring and liking are different."

Her lips pursed together, and her eyes narrowed. "How so?"

They were at street level and heading over to the hotel entrance. He stopped walking on the sidewalk outside the hotel. "I've lost friends and acquaintances, and the difference as I see it is that when people I've cared about die, it really hurts. Like I wake up with my chest tight, missing them. The people I've only casually known or didn't really know, just knew they were military. It hurts, but it's not as deep. If something happened to you, it would be a deep cut."

She nodded. "I've really never lost anyone I've cared about, not in that way. I mean, he forced me to cut all my friendships. So I lost that, but they're still living as far as I know. I do care deeply about you."

He squeezed her shoulder then they stepped inside. It was closer to ten and though she wanted to go out and walk around, she was tired. She hoped James felt the same way.

They checked in and were headed upstairs to their room. The elevator was empty, so she continued the conversation.

"I never stopped thinking about you. I should have reached out, but I didn't know how. I wish I could have kept in contact."

"We would have screwed it up. We've lived a lot of years since high school." He tapped the keycard against the lock, and the door opened, revealing the room they had for two nights.

"Oh wow," Danika said as they stepped in. The view was amazing. She moved to the window and could see the lit-up Hollywood sign in the distance.

James came up behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. She turned to face him, placing her hand on his chest. His gaze moved from the hills to her face. Desire swirled between them.

She tugged up his shirt, placing her hand on his bare skin. His lips quirked up in that cute way she remembered from high school. Maybe some people wouldn't consider this romantic, but she sure as hell did. He'd booked an amazing weekend at a hotel in Hollywood. It was beyond what she'd expected, and she appreciated his thoughtfulness.

Her hands found the waistband of his jeans. It didn't take long for her to get his pants pushed down his thighs. She dropped to her knees and leaned her forehead against his belly as she pulled his underwear low.

His cock was half hard but got harder quickly as she wrapped her lips around the tip. His fingers gently brushed through her hair as she sucked and licked.

He could be rough, had been rough when he'd slammed in from behind, but with his cock down her throat, he was incredibly gentle. He didn't fist her hair or force his cock down her throat. Instead, he was barely rocking his hips.

She pulled off and looked up at him, her thoughts spinning with what they could do. Before he could move, she pulled off her shirt and popped her bra, exposing her breasts. He sucked in a sharp breath and trailed one finger lower over her breast to her nipple before tugging it a little.

"You're beautiful. "

"I think you are, too. I like watching you move. Your body is great, but…" She stood and cupped his face. "I don't care about what your body looks like. Yeah, it's nice. But you—" she placed her hand over his heart, "this inside you. Your soul, your heart, your mind, whatever you call it, that's you. I care for you. You're the man I want, not because your ass is amazing or you have abs that feel great under my fingers. It's not your cock or anything else physical, it's who you are."

He moved fast and picked her up, swinging her over to the bed. Then she was flat on her back, and he was on top of her. They still had some clothes on, and she wanted them gone, but the look in his eyes stalled her movements.

"Danika Herff, I've never felt this way about anyone else. I've fallen in love with you, and I don't want to lose you. You're the one for me."

Emotions hit hard, bringing tears to her eyes. "Oh, James, you've always been the one. I feel so much love for you. I want you and only you. I love you."

His lips crushed against hers, showing her all the emotions he felt. She opened for him as they both tugged off clothes, stripping away everything. Not only were they naked, but their emotions were out there, open for each other as he took her higher, bringing her to orgasm with his fingers and tongue before he slid in, holding still as he stared down at her.

"This is the physical display of how I feel about you, Danika. I want to be connected to you forever. I know we've only been back together for a short time, but I've known you for half my life. I don't know exactly what we need to do to get us to the point where we both want to stay together forever, but that's what I want to work for. I want you to be the one in my bed, in my home, in my life."

She wrapped her arms tighter around him and pushed her hips up as she hooked her legs around his waist. "James, you're the only one for me. I love you, and I want you forever."

Tears were close, threatening to spill as he slowly pumped into her, his gaze staying on her as he filled her with his love. She hadn't thought they would move this quickly to declare their love, but she was so happy that they were both declaring how they felt to each other.

He pumped in, taking her closer to orgasm. In every way, he fulfilled her. They created something beautiful together.

Her body felt like she was about to fly apart. The slow rake of his body against hers heightened her pleasure.

"Oh God," she cried out as he ran his fingers over her clit.

His chuckle sent vibrations through her. They were both panting hard, neither of them able to hold back as he slammed into her one more time. It was like fireworks raining down on her. The sparks of excitement made her gasp for air as her body pulsed around him.

James had always been in her thoughts, but she'd really never believed she would find him again. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Now, they just needed to find a way to move forward and make a life together. The possibilities were there now. No longer was the depression and disturbance of her past filling every corner of her mind. She had hope. James hadn't only saved her, he'd filled her life with love she could depend on.