Chapter 19

19

YORK

" W hat's wrong?" Something had changed between Quillon leaving to talk to Auden and his return. His face was tense, his jaw tight. "Do you have bad news?"

He rubbed his chin and let out a tired sigh. "I'm afraid so."

"What is it?"

"I spoke with Coulson, and they've found the leak."

"Isn't that good news? Oh wait, was it someone close to me? Not Terry or Shannon, right?"

He took my hand. "It was Ania, nerdy."

"Ania? But…" Oh fuck. Quillon had told me the terrorist group that was after me was Russian. How had I not made that connection? "She's Russian…"

"They threatened her grandkids."

Yeah, that would do it. Those babies meant everything to her, and I couldn't be upset she'd chosen them over me. "She knows I'm from Forestville. Won't be a stretch for those guys to figure out where I am."

Quillon nodded. "Coulson concluded the same. He's sending extra agents."

Fuck.

"And I'm sorry, but you can't leave the house anymore."

Fuck.

"Coulson said they're monitoring the situation closely, and they may decide to relocate you. But they still want to try and catch them, of course."

"I understand."

"What information would she have had access to?" Quillon asked.

That was a good question. She couldn't have gotten her hands on anything crucial, could she? I'd trusted her, but I wasn't stupid enough to leave anything top secret lying around in my apartment. "I don't know. My laptop has the best security possible, and I never leave it unlocked. I don't use paper other than for calculations, but those mean little without the context."

"And you never discuss the project when she's in your apartment?"

"I never work from home." Then it hit me. Oh fuck. "A few months ago, I contracted salmonella. Maybe you read in the newspaper about the infected prepackaged bags of lettuce and spinach? Well, I ate the spinach and got so, so sick. I worked from home for two weeks. That's the only time I've worked from home, and she came around more than usual because I was sick. And I had to take some calls. We'd just had the big breakthrough, so things were moving fast. Never thought anything of it, but I'd been discussing the project, so yeah, she may have picked up some tidbits then."

"I'll let Coulson know."

"She could've taken pictures of my screen or my notes. I had to use the bathroom a lot, and I didn't always log out before I made a mad dash…" I hung my head. How stupid had I been, compromising not only my safety but the security of our military like that? "I never thought about it until now."

Quillon put a warm hand on my shoulder. "It's understandable, nerdy. No one is upset with you. But Coulson needs to know what kind of information she has."

"Yeah, of course."

All this time, I'd thought it had been someone from within EDS. That was bad enough, but it wouldn't have been my fault. But this? This was, and I felt awful. "I'm gonna…" I waved vaguely and made a beeline for my bedroom, where I kicked off my shoes and crawled under the covers.

Ania. I had never considered her. It was hard to be angry with her, though, especially if she'd done it to protect her grandkids. No, my anger was aimed at myself. How had I been so careless? It had never occurred to me I couldn't talk in front of her, that I shouldn't trust her. She'd been cleaning and doing errands for me for almost ten years. I'd attended her daughter's wedding, for fuck's sake.

The bedroom door opened, and Quillon came in. To my surprise, he took off his shoes and slipped into my bed. Without thinking about it, I turned to him, and when he offered his shoulder, I snuggled close. Funny how that contact already eased some of my tension.

"I feel so stupid," I whispered.

"Don't be too hard on yourself. You trusted her, and you had no reason not to."

"Easier said than done."

"I know, nerdy. You're always hard on yourself."

Was I? He was right. I always held myself to a high standard, an impossible one, maybe. After all, if I were perfect, then maybe… I didn't want to finish that sentence. Not anymore.

"I also have good news," Quillon said softly.

"Yes, please. I'd like some good news."

"I told my boss and Coulson about us."

My heart skipped a beat as I turned sideways to face him. "There's an us ? I thought you said?—"

"I did, but Auden showed me I was wrong. Nothing is more important than choosing love…and I'm in love with you, nerdy. Head over heels."

Something unfolded inside me, like a flower opening to the sun. "You are? For real?"

"For real. And I know I jumped the gun on that one, talking to my boss and Coulson before asking you, but?—"

"Yes." I propped myself on one elbow so I could see his face in the dim light of my bedroom. "If it involves you and me together, the answer is yes."

His smile could've powered an entire city. "Yeah?"

"A thousand times, yes."

"You keep surprising me, you know that? You don't need time to get used to the idea? An adjustment period?"

"To get used to what? Not being straight?" I played with Quillon's hand. "I care little for labels, especially when they're artificial and don't have intrinsic value."

"To being with me, then?"

"We've been together for weeks now. What's the difference?"

"Not as boyfriends. Trust me when I say there'll be a difference."

I laughed. "I sure as fuck hope so. After seeing you in the shower, I've been dying to get my hands on you."

"I will happily volunteer for all your experiments, though I have a few suggestions as well."

"Like fucking me?"

Quillon stopped caressing my arm. "That's not what I would've started with, but you'd be open to that?"

"I should've asked your preferences first. I mean, I've never done anal play with women, so I don't know if I'll like it, but I'd love to try."

"I'm vers, so yeah, I'm definitely down for that. But, nerdy, that's not something we need to start with. We can work our way up to that. I know a lot of fun things to do before we get there."

I'd have to do some research. I was never afraid to try new things, but I hated being bad at something, and hell if I'd be bad at sex. Sure, most of it was probably instinctual, but still. "I'm all for that."

He grew serious again. "The FBI can't send a replacement right now, so I have to stay on as your bodyguard."

"But can you do both? Can you be my bodyguard and my…boyfriend?" Oh, I loved the sound of that last word. I'd been saying it this whole time, except now it would be true.

"I shouldn't. My feelings for you cloud my judgment, nerdy. There's no way around that."

"But that would be the case regardless of whether we're together. If we weren't together, you'd still love me, right? So your judgment would still be clouded."

He chuckled. "I'm starting to see why people dislike arguing with you."

"Am I wrong?"

"No, my smart nerdy, you're not."

My belly went so soft whenever he called me that. "I love your pet name for me."

He tenderly cupped my cheek. "It's a new journey we're embarking on together, one with a lot of unknowns."

"So we'll figure it out as we go along."

"That doesn't scare you? You seem to thrive on routines."

"Yeah, but you already fit into them, don't you? You've adapted to my somewhat eccentric habits…and don't think I didn't realize that. From day one, you've gone out of your way to accommodate me."

"It's always been my pleasure, and I mean that."

And then we stared at each other, his features softened by the dim light, his eyes brimming with love. My boyfriend. I had a boyfriend. That might be the only thing I'd have to get used to: the deep realization I was no longer alone. I had Quillon now. Or, more accurately, he had me.

"Do you think we could try some of those fun things you mentioned?"

Quillon leaned in, and I met him halfway. His lips held a hint of the caramel candies he liked so much. He swept his tongue over my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth to let him in. He kissed the way he did everything else—with total confidence.

As the kiss deepened, my belly fizzled, and the sensual invasion of my mouth hardened my cock faster than I'd ever experienced. I clenched his T-shirt in my hands and rolled onto my back, pulling him on top of me.

"Hmph," he muttered, but the word was muffled against my mouth.

Jesus, the feeling of that hard body on top of mine… Nothing could compare to it. I'd kissed women in this position, but they had these curves, a cushiony comfort of softness. But nothing was soft about Quillon—and that included his cock, which had grown hard as quickly as mine and was pressing against me. Also a new experience. I loved it.

He broke off the kiss, yanked his shirt over his head, and peeled me out of mine with nimble fingers. When our naked chests rubbed against each other, sparks crackled along my skin.

I roamed his back, mapping his skin with my fingertips, squeezing and caressing. Quillon let go of my mouth and pressed kisses alongside my jaw, then down my neck. My heart was hammering, and my whole body pulsated with the effects of his touch. He scraped his teeth over the sensitive skin of my neck, right where my pulse must've been visible, and the rhythm only increased.

He moved farther down, sucking at a tender spot on my shoulder, and the most sinful moan flew from my lips. I'd never made that sound, but hell if I was holding back. He chuckled as he continued, finding my left nipple. Fingers first, plucking and pinching until the little bud stood hard, aching for attention, and then following with his mouth. As he sucked gently, I arched off the bed, my back in a perfect bow.

The right nipple received the same treatment, and I lay panting on the bed. He hadn't even touched my cock yet, and I was already leaking. What the hell?

His hands grazed my waistband, but then he stilled. "This okay?"

"Yeah."

"Can I suck you?"

"Fuck, yes." Still, it was so quintessential Quillon to check consent, even when he had to know I had zero trouble saying no to him when I wanted or needed to.

The man was like a Houdini with clothes. My pants were gone before I realized it. Maybe because he kept kissing me everywhere, and it was hard to focus with so many sensations assailing me at the same time. He pressed his nose against my erection, still covered by the thin, wet cotton of my boxer briefs.

"You smell amazing," he whispered.

"It's the pheromones. Did you know that some men can subconsciously detect when a woman is aroused? It increases their attraction to that woman and the desire to have sex with her, especially sex in the sense of mating."

Oh fuck, why the hell was I rambling about this? Even now, my stupid brain wouldn't shut off.

A chuckle vibrated against my skin. "In that case, your pheromones smell amazing, nerdy, and they sure as fuck make me attracted to you…but I have no desire to get you pregnant if it's all the same to you."

We both laughed. "I'm good with that," I said.

This man, this sweet, kind man who rolled with all my quirks and never made fun of me, who enjoyed the weird stuff my brain sprouted at times, and who was so endlessly patient… How had I been so lucky to find him?

"Watch this." Quillon took the waistband of my underwear between his teeth and dragged it down until my cock jumped free and smacked against my belly.

"Impressive. You know any more tricks?"

"Wait and find out, nerdy."

My underwear disappeared too, and then he lay between my legs, looking up at me with darkened eyes, heavy with want. "I've dreamed of this, nerdy, so I'm gonna take my time with you."

His hot breath wafted over my dick, and I shivered. "Is that a threat or a promise?"

His smile told me it was a little of both. "Widen your legs for me…and can you pull them up? I want full access."

Full view too, but that wasn't as weird as I had feared. Showing him those parts of me felt natural.

"Mmm, perfect." He all but hummed, then moved in. He nuzzled the crease of my thigh, breathing in deeply. He really did have a thing about scents.

I'd expected him to go straight for my cock, but he didn't. He pressed kisses against my inner thighs, then my testicles, which had grown hard and tight. Oh, was that his tongue? It was. He was licking my… Well, that was new and not at all unpleasant.

A gentle suction and my right nut popped into his mouth, where he cradled it, swirling his hot, wet tongue around it. He sucked a little, and my eyes crossed. Almost automatically, I grabbed his head, trying to find purchase in his hair. But when he let go, I pulled him back down on me, and he chuckled. "Trying to take the lead, nerdy?"

Oops. "Isn't that called being a power bottom?"

I vaguely recalled Fir mentioning that once.

Quillon grinned broadly. "It is…and if the shoe fits…"

I sent him my haughtiest look as I waved my hand magnanimously. "You may proceed."

He was still laughing when he went back to business and sucked my other nut into his mouth. The man was a multitasker. He used his hands to explore while sucking my ball. I'd never done much with ass play, but when he rubbed my perineum, I squirmed on the bed. Thank god I'd turned on the ceiling fan when I'd walked in. The slight breeze was now a welcome cooling of my heated skin.

Finally, finally , Quillon had enough of the teasing. Or maybe it was the constant stream of my plaintive whimpering and mewling, each more intense and all sounds I had never made before. He grabbed the base of my cock with his left hand in a firm grip, licked along the entire length, and suckled on the tip.

I moaned so loudly I half expected the two FBI agents to storm in, suspecting I was being tortured. And that was before Quillon took my entire dick into his mouth and sucked it down. Jesus, I was seeing stars. A whole galaxy of them.

My hands tightened on his scalp, but he didn't seem to mind, or if he did, he didn't say anything. I needed something to hold on to in this storm of sensations, or I would be swept away, drowned in the intensity of it. I'd had blowjobs before, but never like this. They'd always been hurried and focused on getting me off as quickly as possible, which I had approved of at the time. But no one had ever taken the time Quillon did, the care with which he pleasured me, the intense look in his eyes like I was the center of his universe.

My muscles twitched as he kept sucking me, pumping me with his left hand. "Quillon… I'm close."

His response was a happy hum around my dick, and I was gone. My back arched off the bed as I came, spurting my load into his mouth. He took it all, greedily sucking me until he'd milked every last drop out of me. And when I was done and sagged back onto the bed bonelessly, he raised his head and licked his lips. "Yummy."

He was the sexiest sight I'd ever laid eyes on. "Thank you," I whispered. What was I thanking him for? More than just the blowjob that much I knew.

"My pleasure, nerdy."

"Can you stay?"

He frowned, but the understanding dawned. "In your bed?"

"Yeah. I want to sleep next to you."

A brief hesitation. Then, "I'd love to."

My evening routine was different, with him watching me and doing the same things himself. Brushing teeth, peeing, washing my hands. All these normal actions I'd done thousands of times, yet they felt different. A thousand times more intimate.

When we slipped under the sheets, he held out his arm, and I snuggled close. I found the perfect position with my head on his shoulder, his arm around me, my arm flung across his waist, and my leg on top of his like a little octopus. I let out a deep sigh and instantly fell asleep.