Chapter 8

EIGHT

RYAN

Bears are clever and resourceful… and sometimes really sneaky. They’ll move their den locations if they sense a threat and disguise their trails to throw off curious onlookers. For a bear, staying hidden and unpredictable is the best way to ensure that no one can get at the honey that was meant for them and them alone.

—Bear Facts for Insomniacs, Episode 48

Was it terrible for me to wish Zane had another nightmare? I couldn’t deny that I loved it when he needed me, and I especially appreciated any excuse to hold him close.

But thankfully for Zane, the night went smoothly, and Boomer reported that the bonfire crowd had gone to bed shortly after we’d left.

It had taken me a long time to fall asleep because I couldn’t stop replaying the shocking news I’d heard about Zane’s love life. I happened to be able to tell when Zane Hendley was lying—a slight hesitation in the way he spoke, an inability to meet someone’s eyes that usually preceded the words “I’m fine”—and he hadn’t been lying when he’d admitted to being a virgin.

But I also knew that I’d stood outside many a hotel room while he was inside making out with men… and I had racked up the stair workouts to prove it. So, did that mean they’d only done kissing and heavy petting? A few under-the-clothes handies or over-the-clothes dry-humping?

I was desperate to find out more, but it was definitely not a topic I could ask him about.

The idea that Zane had never fully shared his body with another man made something inside of me tip off-center and thump around wildly like a washing machine with a broken belt.

I’d fantasized about being naked with him innumerable times, and I’d been in a green rage each time another man had the privilege.

Was it truly possible no man had actually had that privilege? And if so, what did that mean for Zane? Was he going to deny himself that kind of sexual pleasure until sometime in the distant future when he retired? Surely he could find someone he trusted enough to sleep with?

Why not Landry? And… if not Landry, what had all those moans coming from Zane’s room been about?

I fell asleep without any answers.

The next morning’s visit into the small town of Barlo took enough arranging to fully distract me. My boss, Violet, had put a logistics coordinator on it, who’d brought in additional help in the form of off-duty Barlo law enforcement officers and other security personnel.

It was a bit of a production, but I appreciated that the people hired to help us seemed professional and were willing to try to keep the situation as low-key as possible.

Our first stop was a place called the Neatnik, a breakfast diner where Zane had worked as a busser in middle school. I’d secretly developed a mini-obsession with their breakfast potatoes, so I didn’t mind this stop one bit .

“Please tell me we’re not going to Bart’s place again,” I muttered before taking a sip of coffee.

We weren’t alone at the large round booth. But Zane’s great-aunt Shell was busy gossiping with every local who entered the place, and her granddaughter was busy taking selfies with Zane in the background while pretending to check her hair.

“No. I was trying to figure out how to tell him we didn’t have time when he told me that he’s being sent on a job up in Cordelle. But I did tell Jordy Crowder we’d stop by his print shop.” Zane flashed me an apologetic wince. “Sorry, but after he didn’t charge me for the printing on all those field day shirts last year, I felt like I owed him a solid.”

He was right. Even though the good old boy was a talker, he was a good guy, and he helped Zane out with plenty of local charity projects. “We already have that one on the schedule. I’m trying to figure out which unexpected ones are going to pop up while we’re out and about. Bart’s is usually the one that pops up.”

Bart was an ass, and he never hesitated to drag Zane to the HVAC service center where he worked to impress his boss and sucker Zane into a photo op.

Zane pressed his lips together in thought before his eyes brightened and his cheeks turned a little pink. “Oh, Carrie-Beth said I might run into Sully Bynam and, if so, to be sure and ask to see his tulip poplars.”

Shell overheard and snapped her head around. “Sully’s tulip poplars are a sight to behold. You’ve never seen golden beauties like those. A whole driveway full of ’em. It’s like… like something on TV.”

I couldn’t remember why that name sounded familiar… until I remembered Pearl talking around the bonfire about the one hot gay guy in Barlo.

“We might not have time for any of that,” I said gruffly.

Zane shrugged. “We probably won’t see him anyway.”

Right . Zane seemed to forget that when he was in Barlo, everyone and their hot gay uncle flocked to the tiny downtown area to catch sight of him.

The rest of the day was a nightmare. Several times, I’d thought someone was trying to get close enough to Zane to sneak a stamp onto his skin, and I’d roughly interjected myself between the stranger and my principal. Each time, it had turned out to simply be a friend or fan with innocent intentions.

Several months ago, Zane had laughingly sent me an Instagram video of Lionel Messi’s bodyguard comically cutting off zealous fans before they could get to the famous soccer star. That was what my day in Barlo ended up looking like.

Thankfully, Zane politely declined the (admittedly gorgeous) Sully Bynam’s offer to see his poplars, and we ended up back at Gran’s before dinner. Zane threw himself down in the corner of the large sectional sofa and pulled out his phone while I went to the kitchen to grab him a fresh water bottle and some carrot sticks out of the fridge.

As I was walking back into the family room, I caught sight of his face as his jaw dropped and his complexion paled. His eyes flicked from his phone screen up to me, and I saw him hesitate for a split second before sighing and handing me the phone. I handed him the water and carrots before sitting on the edge of the coffee table across from him and looking at his screen.

The email on the screen was from a junk Gmail address and had been sent to Zane’s private, personal email account—the one that only the brotherhood, his agent, his manager, and a few other select people had access to.

To Zee,

Do you like wearing my mark? I can get to you whenever I want. You’re not his to protect. Cut him loose.

See you in New York.

Semper in scopum .

The Stamper.

My rage was a feral beast clawing at my skin from the inside. How fucking dare they find another way to get at Zane? How dare they cause him another single moment of fear and worry? How dare they insinuate that I couldn’t protect him when there was nothing I wouldn’t do to keep him safe?

I forced myself to read the words over and over, partly in hopes of discovering new information and partly in an attempt to calm myself down since I knew my anger would only upset Zane further. When nothing new revealed itself, I forwarded it to myself and Violet, closed it in his email app, and then made a folder in his email account to put it into so I could preserve it without him having to see it every time he opened his personal email.

Always on target.

The Latin galled me, but I was grateful for it since it at least offered us a little bit of insight into the sender. Violet’s technical guys could try to trace the email, but I didn’t hold out much hope. If the perp was smart enough to use Latin, they were probably smart enough to mask their virtual identity.

I glanced up at Zane, who’d pulled his legs up to wrap his arms around his knees. “We have to go,” I said softly.

He nodded, dislodging a piece of brown hair to fall over one eyebrow. I reached out to brush it behind his ear without fully realizing what I was doing. “We have to cancel New York.”

“I know.”

I glanced around to make sure no one was close enough to overhear me.

“Where do you want to go?”

Zane’s eyebrows winged up. “I assumed we’d go to LA. Isn’t that what you said you wanted? To meet up with Violet, call in reinforcements, and strategize?”

I pressed my lips together and inhaled. “No. I think it makes more sense to go somewhere unexpected, where we’ll know you’re safe while Violet and the team assess the risks of continuing the tour. ”

“I’m not canceling the tour,” he said with a slight flare of his nostrils. “Tell Violet to figure it out because we’re going to the rest of the European stops and the fundraiser in Berlin as planned. The fans freaked out when we added those dates, and I’m supposed to be debuting my new song with Jude Marian in Berlin. We’re going to raise a ton of money for LGBTQ programs. I’m not reneging because some asshole is trying to scare me.”

His passionate response didn’t surprise me. Zane would rather throw himself across train tracks than disappoint his fans or, worse, contribute to the loss of income for his employees and all of the contractors who depended on him for their livelihoods.

“I’ll let her know,” I said, trying to remain calm when what I really wanted to do was put my foot down and demand he cancel every show from here until the end of time.

That wouldn’t be fair to him. It was bad enough that the Stamper had taken his peace of mind. I wouldn’t let them take away the things Zane loved most.

He let out a breath and stewed for a few minutes before finally reaching for a carrot stick. He snapped off the end and crunched before turning to me. “We could go to Majestic.”

I looked up from where I’d been texting with Violet. “We’re not going anywhere connected to you.”

“It’s tiny and in the middle of nowhere. People there notice and comment when their neighbors got a haircut. They’d notice if a stranger came to town?—”

“They’ll also definitely notice you’re there, and word will get out,” I countered.

Zane’s face fell.

I was trying to remain calm and not let it show, but the email had ignited a strong need in me to grab Zane and bolt this minute. My rational brain knew that with Lou, Boomer, and me here, guarding a vetted and controlled property like his gran’s house, Zane was most likely safe in the short term. But my rational brain was trying very hard to fuck off to parts unknown, leaving my irrational caveman gut in charge.

And the caveman wanted to grab Zane and run far, far away, right the hell now, to a place where no one could find him.

So, I made a concession to the caveman.

“I’m going to rent a place in a random location. You, Lou, and I will be the only ones who know where it is. Boomer will continue to the first tour city as planned and be Violet’s local liaison.”

I messaged the pilot to let her know about the change of plans and ask about filing flight plans to White Plains and being prepared to continue straight on from there to a Northern European destination. Then, I started searching for a place to hole up.

I immediately knew where I wanted to bring Zane, if the house was available on such short notice.

The front door banged open, and someone’s shouted greeting made us both jump. I glared at JK and ground my teeth together to keep from snapping at him.

He approached Zane with a fist bump. “Hey, bro. I told Kenny and them we’d hit up Peaches tonight and maybe you’d play a set with the house band. What do you say?”

Zane tried to fake being chill, but he was definitely not. “Yeah, so… no. We have to go. Duty calls, you know?”

JK frowned. “I thought you were staying till Wednesday? Gran has a whole thing planned for Rinny’s birthday tomorrow.”

Zane’s shoulders fell. I half expected him to shoot me a pleading look before promising to stay. He adored his aunt, and she was the only one besides his grandmother I actually liked enough to feel guilty about ditching.

Instead of agreeing to stay, though, he surprised me. “I hate to miss it, but something’s come up.”

“Aww, man. Okay. I’ll text Kenny and tell him they all need to come here if they want to see you.” He pulled out his phone and wandered away as he began to type.

After texting Lou and Boomer that we might have an influx of JK’s friends showing up again, I went back to booking the place I’d found for us and making sure we’d have access to everything we needed when we got there without having to leave the property.

After a few minutes, I felt Zane’s eyes on me. I glanced up from my phone to see him scraping his top lip with his bottom teeth, looking so uncertain I wanted to take him in my arms.

“What’s up, b—Zane?” I asked. Not my baby. Not my baby. Not my baby. No matter how much I wish he could be.

“Can we leave now? I don’t… I don’t want to talk to a lot of people.”

Thank fuck.

“Of course,” I said softly. “Go pack your stuff and start making your goodbyes. I’ll get Lou and Boomer on board and make sure the driver’s ready to head to the airport.”

Zane hopped up and made his way upstairs while I made the arrangements and packed my own things. Within half an hour, we were on the road, and a half hour after that, we were in the air.

“Why White Plains?” Zane asked when the pilot mentioned our destination.

“I didn’t want anyone in Barlo to know we were changing our plans to go to New York, but I didn’t want to land at Teterboro since that’s where we’re expected.”

“Okay.” Zane accepted this easily, and as it always did, the trust he placed in me soothed something deep in my chest. “Where are we going after that?” he asked, snuggling under the soft blanket he often used on flights.

“Northern Europe.” I showed him a photo of the fjord in Norway where a small luxury home had stunning views of the water. Zane was a sucker for an inspirational view. Hopefully, he could distract himself with songwriting while I worked remotely to make sure the European stops were adequately protected.

His eyes widened, and I felt his body relax. “Gorgeous.”

Within moments, he was asleep in the wide leather chair next to mine. I opened up my laptop and connected to the plane’s Wi-Fi so I could get to work.

Halfway to New York, Zane’s head had slid over to the side. I shifted in my seat so that when his head slid farther, it would land on my shoulder. It took an excruciating several minutes before the warmth of him landed on me, and the faint scent of his hair wafted into my nose.

I let out a breath and felt some of my tension fall away. As long as I was touching Zane Hendley, I could relax a little.

Because Zane was okay…

And finally right where he was supposed to be.