Chapter 19

NINETEEN

ZANE

Bears are masters of picking up on danger and know when they’re being hunted. With their incredible sense of smell, they can detect humans—or predators—from miles away. When a bear gets even a hint that something’s off, it moves with remarkable speed and strategy, ready to defend its life or its den. It’s a foolish creature indeed that gets between a bear and his home… or his honey.

—Bear Facts for Insomniacs, Episode 19

By the time we left Norway, I’d almost forgotten about the Stamper threat. There hadn’t been any new emails, and Violet’s team had spent two solid weeks ensuring there was increased security at each event.

The first two cities went by in a blur. All extra VIP fan access had been curtailed to viewing me from more than arm’s length away, and backstage access had been severely limited to only essential crew who’d passed stringent background checks. They were also required to wear double-sided ID badges at all times that tracked access in various areas so Bear’s crew had a record of who was where and when.

The final verse to “Broken Fairytale” had come to me the morning after Bear and I made love for the first time—a sweetly perfect and poignant coda that gave the whole song new meaning and inspired me to change the name entirely—and I’d found time to practice it and my other new song with the band before possibly debuting them at one of the shows.

And every night, we went back to a hotel suite, where Bear made a point of messing up the bed in his bedroom before sneaking into mine. Several nights, I’d been too tired to do more than cuddle, so Bear had frog-marched me into the shower, hand scrubbed me while I swayed on my feet, and then poured me between crisp sheets before curling around me protectively.

I’d even slept like a baby, too deep for dreams good or bad, which was enough to convince me that regardless of my romantic future with Bear, I’d need to hire him as a bedmate for the rest of my life.

All in all, things were going well. Really well.

So well that as Bear and I sat across from one another in the limo as we made our way to the venue in Amsterdam, I had the sudden fear they were about to go terribly wrong.

Fairy tales happen , I reminded myself . Be brave enough to believe it.

“Zane? Are you listening?”

I snapped my eyes open and found Bear watching me closely. “Sorry. What was that?”

“I said, no touching anyone. If someone gets close, press the button on your watch. It will record a time stamp and buzz me.”

His face was serious, and I could tell he was in full-on grizzly mode. If I made light of his warning right now, I would not be rewarded with a smile. I would be growled at, and he’d only start the lecture again.

“Aren’t you going to be with me?” I asked .

“I’ll be in the room, but Lou is taking point so I can make sure the royal family and their security people have everything they need. I won’t be beside you the whole time. That’s why I need you to listen to me right now, okay?”

“Yeah, fine. I’m f?—”

Bear’s eyes darkened at the word, so I quickly corrected myself. “I mean, yes. I understand. This is the same protocol we’ve been doing all week.”

“But this is the first VIP event where people will be interacting with you,” he said in a way that made me think he’d said it already while I’d been lost in thought. “People will want to shake your hand. They will forget the no-touching rule and do it out of habit.”

“Right.” I nodded. “Okay.”

“You need to keep your hands in your pocket and shrug. Give them that cute, innocent look and say you’re not allowed to shake hands as part of your health protocol, to stop the spread of germs and keep you healthy for the tour. That’s the excuse we’re using. All of the VIPs have been briefed about it, but like I said, they’ll forget.” Bear rubbed at the back of his neck, a sure sign that he was more agitated than he let on. “Lou is more permissive than I am.”

I knew exactly what Bear wasn’t saying—that it was killing him to know he wouldn’t be hovering over me, ready to throw down at the slightest provocation. I didn’t like it, either, to be honest. But I hated seeing Bear so worried even more.

“Got it,” I assured him. Then I added, “I can hug people like Bodhi, though, right?” My voice trailed off as I saw the fierce look on his face.

“Bodhi is on the suspect list, Zane,” he snarled. “Fuck, no. No touching anyone, especially Bodhi.”

I wasn’t sure if it was jealousy or fear for my well-being making his eyes so wild, but I couldn’t deny how good it made me feel.

“Can I touch you ?” I asked in a voice low enough not to be overheard by the driver and Boomer up front.

Bear’s eyes heated, but he stayed on task. “You stay within arm’s reach of me, Lou, Boomer, or Dennis. If you need to take a leak, one of us goes with you and clears the room first. You need to accept a gift or something, keep your hands in your pocket and nod at one of us to accept it on your behalf.”

I stifled a sigh. “These are mostly people we know. It’s an already vetted group. Can’t we just…?” I swallowed and looked out the window when I noticed his glare.

He was right. I knew that. I just didn’t want to look like a prima donna at this event.

“Do you know if the whole royal family is coming?”

His face finally softened. “Yes. Gerhard and Gisella are bringing the kids. They’re desperate to meet you.”

“I’m excited to meet them, too.” I leaned toward him. “Can I eat the food?” I asked as a way of breaking the ice further. “I’m kind of hungry.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes. You can eat the food. The security around the catering is plenty strict, thanks to the royal guard.”

I hadn’t thought of that. “With the royal family there, I’ll be doubly protected. Those are your people, right?”

“ You’re my people. They’ll be busy protecting King Gerhard, not you.”

“You know what I mean. It’ll be a safe space. Even safer than usual. The safest.”

He moved his foot until it pressed against mine. “Please don’t let your guard down, Zane.”

Bear’s voice was less gruff, almost pleading.

There was nothing I could say to that but “Okay.”

He nodded before looking back down at his phone and typing a message to someone. “Lou’s at the entrance. She’s going to walk with you while I greet and escort the royal family in.” He rolled his eyes again. “Ventdestinian protocol. I’m the highest-ranking member of Violet’s team here, so naturally, I’m the one who has to escort them.”

I personally thought it had more to do with the royal delegation knowing and trusting Bear… and the fact that it was impossible not to feel safer with Ryan Galloway around.

When we arrived, a crowd of screaming fans greeted us and pressed in from the sides of the street. My nerves resurfaced since Bear had insisted on reminding me that there was an actual threat against me.

I hated that. Hated thinking one of my fans wanted to scare me.

So I pushed down the fear and waved through the closed window in case they could see through the tinted surface.

The limo slowed to pull into an alleyway blocked off by security personnel and orange barrels. Once we were past them, the crowd disappeared behind us, and we approached a roped-off side entrance to the arena.

Lou and several other people met us, escorting me inside and down a long hallway to the room reserved for the VIP reception.

Several musician friends were already there, and I quickly approached them to say hello. Bear had been right—it wasn’t just their habit to shake hands or hug; it was mine, too. I tried to remember but failed in several instances. Buck Olson was there, and we hadn’t seen each other since playing a festival together a couple of years ago. He’d brought his new wife, who I was eager to meet. Alana Vasa was also there with her wife. She had agreed to play the violin at the show tonight, and I couldn’t help but give her a big hug in thanks since she was interrupting her solo tour to play with us.

There were several familiar faces—big-name politicians, celebrities, and friends—and I immediately felt more at ease. VIP receptions like this were well vetted ahead of time since access was limited. Thankfully, I’d remembered Bear’s rules and had stepped back to a respectable distance with my hands in my pockets before he came in with the royal family.

The king was a tall, robust man in his late forties with a ruddy complexion and salt-and-pepper hair. Trailing after him was a veritable entourage, which shouldn’t have surprised me. Bear was busy talking to the king himself, but another tall man walked on the other side of him. He was closer to the king’s age and wore the all-black uniform of a member of the royal guard. I recognized the same kind of simple medal insignia on his sweater that Bear had worn in old pictures.

Bear stood taller as he made the introductions. “Your Highness, I’d like you to meet Zee Barlo. Zee, this is His Royal Highness, King Gerhard of Ventdestine.”

The king held out his hand. I glanced quickly at Bear, whose nostrils flared but who gave me a subtle nod. I shook the man’s hand and expressed my pleasure at meeting him. “I’m honored to have you here at one of our shows.”

His smile was polite but formal. “Thank you for having us, and thank you for keeping Ryan out of harm’s way. May the winds continue to whisper fortune upon you.”

I was startled by the tone of his greeting. Bear had told me many times about Ventdestine’s mystical beliefs, but hearing it from the horse’s mouth was strangely off-putting. “Er, thank you. And you as well.” I suddenly remembered the somewhat recent loss of his father and scrambled to correct myself. “I’m very sorry for the loss of your father. Ryan speaks very highly of him.”

King Gerhard nodded. “Thank you. He was a good man and a great leader. We are lost without him.”

A lovely woman in a butter-soft pink pantsuit stepped up next to him and placed her hand on Bear’s shoulder. “Ryan, my apologies for allowing myself to be detained. Would you mind continuing the introductions?”

“Of course, Your Highness. This is Zee Barlo. Zee, this is Her Royal Highness, Queen Gisella of Ventdestine. And these are their children. Prince Auden, Prince Isak, and Princess Carina.”

The three faces that popped out from behind their parents were almost comically starstruck.

The oldest teen, Auden, who seemed high-school-aged, stared and flushed a deep, mottled red. The middle one, Isak, grinned like a kid who’d stolen some candy. And the royal daughter blinked rapidly like she had something in her eye.

I glanced at Bear, who was busy trying to hide a smirk.

Queen Gisella grinned. “Maybe the three of you would like to say hello to Mr. Barlo?”

The younger two began speaking at once, thanking me rapidly for allowing them to come to the show. Auden only continued to stare. The king turned to speak with Bear and the royal guardsman while Gisella asked me questions about the tour and mentioned their plans for a large-scale royal tour of America next summer.

“The children were so little last time we were there,” she mused. “Now that they’re growing up, I want them to have a deeper understanding of other cultures.” She reached up to run a fond hand over Auden’s head. Though the prince didn’t pull away, his eyes flashed with typical teenage annoyance at the insinuation that he was still “growing.”

I stifled a smile and turned to him directly. “So, Auden, do you have any song requests for the show tonight? I always save a couple spots later in the set list for last-minute additions.”

“Oh! Oh . Um…” His eyes shot over to his father before glancing at his mother. She gave him an encouraging smile. “If I could hear you play anything, it would be ‘Very Much Myself,’” he said softly. “And anything new, of course, but I don’t know if that’s something you ever do?”

Ooof. I’d written that song about my coming out. I had a momentary flare of empathy for this young princeling from the country where the winds of fate didn’t look kindly on change. “I’ll definitely be playing that one and also at least one new one. You’ll have to let me know what you think afterward.”

Auden gave me a shy smile. “I can do that. I think Kasper has Ryan’s email address?”

The royal guard standing with the king and Ryan turned his head. “Did you call me, Prince Auden?”

“No, sir. Only, I thought maybe you could help me get in touch with Mr. Barlo after this. He said I could let him know what I thought about the music.”

The man glanced at me with the same detached politeness as the king and nodded. “Certainly. I’d be happy to put you in touch with Ryan, and he can pass your message along to Mr. Barlo.”

I smiled. “Awesome. Thank you. When you guys come to the States next year, maybe you can come to a show again. I’d hook you up.”

“Really?” Carina grabbed her mother’s arm and squeezed. “Mama, can we?”

Gisella laughed. “I’ll talk to your father, and maybe we can add it to the list. It’s already fairly extensive.” To me, she added with a wink, “Disneyland, you know?”

“Yes,” Carina agreed. “When Papa went to California and I begged and begged him to bring me so we could go to Disneyland! Have you been, Zee?”

“I can answer that,” a familiar voice cut in.

I turned to find Bodhi standing beside us, flashing a knowing grin. He looked so good, so familiar, I opened my arms to hug him without thinking. As soon as the hug was over, I quickly pressed the button on my watch and glanced at Boomer, who’d appeared at Bodhi’s elbow. He was glaring at Bodhi with a death stare not unlike the ones Bear gave me when he’d warned me not to do something, which was kind of interesting.

At least this glare wasn’t aimed at me, and Bear hadn’t seen our hug.

“Better let me tell the Disneyland story,” I said to Bodhi with a laugh, remembering the night in question. “You never get it right.”

“You just don’t like how accurate I am, man,” he teased. He clapped me on the shoulder in a friendly gesture before stepping back. Within seconds, Lou had appeared between us, glaring at Boomer for letting Bodhi touch me. She made a show out of handing me a small plate of appetizers. Where the food had materialized from on short notice, I had no idea, but using it as an excuse to put some distance between us had been genius.

Bodhi didn’t seem to notice. I could still feel the imprint of his hand on my shoulder, but thankfully, it had been over my clothes. Bear was clearly keeping an eye on him, and I even thought I’d noticed him say something to the royal guardsman, Kasper, before tilting his head at Bodhi.

As if I needed the entire security force of Ventdestine looking out for me in addition to Lou, Boomer, and my own grumpy Bear.

“Zee and I played this gig the summer after our junior year at Yale,” Bodhi continued. “It was at a tavern not far from Disneyland. We’d gone to LA that summer to try and get discovered, you know? And we ended up getting some really great gigs. So at the tavern, we met this super-chill bass player who also worked as a cast member in the park. He got us tickets one night and let us stay for this extra hour thing…” He continued to tell the story about how I’d been fine on every thrill ride, but my stomach had revolted on the spinning tea cups. The Ventdestinian kids were riveted to his every word.

A few moments later, the event hostess pulled me away to greet the mayor of Amsterdam and her husband. I gave Bodhi an apologetic glance, but he waved me away good-naturedly. Boomer got called away for some reason, but Lou stayed with me as I was led from person to person around the room. It was a little exhausting, but the compliments not only on my music but on my charity efforts were really uplifting.

“We’re looking forward to the fundraiser in Berlin,” someone said. “It’s quite a lineup.”

I nodded politely. “I’m very excited for it. The LGBTQ Youth Coalition is working together with the Marian Foundation on some exciting projects. It’s an organization I’ve worked with in the past, and I’m thrilled to be included in this benefit show.”

The room was more crowded than I’d expected. “Lou,” I muttered, “I thought this was supposed to be pretty small.”

She nodded but didn’t look concerned. “Apparently, the royal family invited some additional dignitaries. Don’t worry, they were fully vetted by the royal guard. Boomer’s making sure no one else gets past security.”

“If you guys are okay with it, I’m okay with it,” I said, even though the crowd was getting large enough to make it nearly impossible to avoid being touched. People brushed past me here and there, and it became difficult to keep my eye on Bear. The king seemed to be monopolizing his attention by introducing him to the prime minister, the mayor, and a few other people I didn’t recognize.

Throughout it all, though, I felt his eyes on me. I knew he was making sure I was okay. And because I wanted him to be okay, too, whenever I caught him looking, I offered him a reassuring smile.

After that, everything happened in a blink.

Someone bumped me from behind and gasped a feminine apology. I turned to see Queen Gisella glaring down at her shoes in disgust. “Zee, I’m so sorry. I’m wearing impossible heels today. But I wanted to get a photograph of you with the children before you leave, if that’s okay?” Her own security officer, a quiet but attentive woman, was murmuring into an earpiece for someone to arrange different footwear for the queen before the concert. While she was distracted, Gisella grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the side of the room where the royal teens were. I glanced back to make sure Lou was with me but saw someone had stepped between us, blocking her way.

“It’s fine,” Gisella said, “Hedda is…” She looked over her shoulder and realized her own protection officer was also separated from us. Several people had filled in the gap in the crowd we’d come through and were now standing between us and our security detail. Gisella sighed. “She’ll catch up. She always does. I’m sorry my husband has taken Ryan away. He and Kasper are probably trying to lure him back to the royal guard for an obscene amount of money again. I told them no amount they offer will be enough. When Ryan left, he said he wanted to be in the US, closer to his family. That’s important.”

Before I could process what she was saying, Noelle appeared out of nowhere and reached for my hand. “There you are, Zee! Ryan asked me to find you and escort you to him.”

I was so surprised to see her there I didn’t know what to say. “Noelle? What are you doing in Amsterdam? How did you get in here?”

She marched through the crowd, keeping one hand on my back while shooing people out of the way with the other. “Sorry for the lie. I haven’t actually talked to Ryan. I’m here consulting with the Ventdestinian team about some upcoming PR stuff, but I saw you without your protection and wanted to help.” She took a breath. “I also wanted to thank you for releasing me as your publicist… but that’s not important right now. Here’s Lou.” She pulled me even with her until I was standing beside Lou again.

My head spun with Noelle’s words as Lou reached for her earpiece to signal Bear. Bodhi approached and put his hand on the back of my neck to pull my head out of the way of the high tray a server rushing by was carrying behind me. “Hey, you okay? Boomer sent me over to keep an eye on you, but it looks like Noelle rescued you first.”

He and Noelle exchanged polite smiles.

I shook Bodhi off and pressed the button on my watch. Suddenly, it felt like everyone was touching me, and Lou was distracted, talking to Ryan on her ear mic. “I’m fine,” I told Bodhi. “It just got a little chaotic there for a second.”

“I know. It’s super crowded, and everyone wants a piece of you. Boomer’s too nice to say so, but I think he’s been really stressed about this.” He gave a little sigh. “Anyway, I’m glad I found you again. I wanted to grab a minute to talk to you about this girl I met in Dublin. I think you need to hear her music, Zane.”

I glanced at him in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“I know. And I’ll email you the information, if you want, so you can check it out in peace, but she reminds me a lot of you. Grew up like you did, has incredible talent on mandolin, and her voice is like fucking wine , you know? I was hoping you could talk to her. Encourage her to pursue it.”

Bodhi knew me well enough to know I appreciated discovering new voices, but I was too overwhelmed right now to consider what he was saying. “I’ll… I… you can…”

Noelle seemed to pick up on my stress and asked Bodhi to go get me a glass of water. As soon as he walked away, she put her arm around me and murmured reassurances. “Where’s Ryan?” she asked, patting my back gently as she looked around. “Isn’t he your primary?”

I pressed the button on my watch again. I wanted everyone to stop touching me. Bear was right. This was too much.

Where was Bear? How the heck had Noelle gotten approved to be here? Why had Boomer asked Bodhi , of all people, to keep an eye on me? Why was the queen of Ventdestine acting like I was her new best friend?

Lou nudged Noelle away and put her hand on my lower back to steer me toward the door. “I’ve got this. Mr. Barlo needs to get ready for the concert now. Please excuse us.”

“The princes and princess wanted to take a picture,” I said, feeling overwhelmed. “I don’t want to disappoint them.”

Suddenly, I saw Bear hurry into the room, looking around frantically until he spotted me. He was followed by Kasper and the king, who were both talking as if nothing in particular was wrong.

And nothing was wrong. I reminded myself I was at a VIP reception in a room full of well-vetted people. There were cameras everywhere and security personnel from my team and the Ventdestinian royal guard.

It was fine. I was fine.

Bear finally arrived at our small group and slid his arm around me protectively. “Lou, go find Boomer and lock down the route so we’re clear to get to the dressing room.” As Lou left, he turned to me. “We need to go.”

“I want to take a picture with the royal teens first,” I said, forcing myself to seem unaffected. If he knew how not-fine I was, he’d whisk me out of there embarrassingly fast, possibly even causing a scene. “And then we can go. Okay?”

He studied my face. “Did you eat the fish?”

It took me a minute to remember our code word. “No. I didn’t want any. I’m fi—uh, full. I’m full .”

As usual, when I was lying, Bear didn’t look convinced. In fact, he looked like he was two seconds away from spiriting me out of the room, and damn the consequences.

“Oh, Ryan,” King Gerhard said. “One other thing I wanted to mention to you, if you have a minute?”

Bear hesitated, glancing from me to Gerhard and back, clearly torn.

“Please,” I said in a soft voice hopefully only Bear could hear. “Let me take the picture, you talk to the king, then we’ll go.”

Bear nodded reluctantly. He exchanged a wordless look with Kasper, who seemed to immediately understand what Bear was asking. With the slightest of nods to Bear and a friendly smile for me, Kasper smoothly stepped in and set a hand on my back to guide me over to the queen.

Gisella apologized again for bumping me and for pulling me over without waiting for security to escort us. “You’d think at my age, after twenty years in a public role, I’d have learned to look before I leap, but no.” She shook her head at herself. “No better than my children sometimes. Thank you for agreeing to take the photo. I remember when I was their age and went to see the Spice Girls. I would have completely lost it if I’d had a chance to take a photo with them.”

I posed with the kids while Carina chattered happily about all the American things she wanted to see next summer. “We’re going to America next month, too.” She pouted. “But no Disneyland.”

Gisella rolled her eyes. “We have a brief visit to America in early December since we’ll be official guests at the tree lighting in Washington. We’re also going to New York?—”

“To skate at Rockefeller Center,” Auden chimed in.

“And shop at all the toy stores,” Isak added .

“You could come with us, Zee!” Carina begged. “We can go ice-skating together and see the big tree.”

I smiled at her and shook my head. “I’ll be with my friends in Wyoming then. The tiny town where they live has a Festival of the Bells a couple of weeks before Christmas. I’ll be playing there and then staying there for the holiday.”

Carina turned to her father, who’d walked up to join his family, and grabbed his hand in both her own. “Papa? Can we go to Wyoming for the Festival of the Bells after New York? I’d like to see Zee play.”

When the king glanced at me, I shrugged and smiled. “Majestic would love to have you, I’m sure. It’s a welcoming town with beautiful scenery and Christmas decorations, and there are plenty of large homes to rent.”

King Gerhard pulled Carina into his side affectionately and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “We will see.”

All three of the kids started begging him, but I barely paid attention because Bear had slid up beside me. Just being in his presence, being able to smell his clean scent and feel his warmth, made my tense shoulders drop several inches.

I offered the royals a friendly wave goodbye and thanked them for coming before allowing Bear to lead me out of the room. Just before we reached the door, little Carina came barreling into the back of me, throwing her arms around my middle. “Thank you so much for everything! This is amazing. I can’t wait to tell all my friends I met you in person. Can we take a picture just you and me?”

I smiled and put my arm around her. Her little arm came around my waist as we posed for a silly-faced selfie and then a smiling one. I handed her phone back before saying goodbye again and letting Bear lead me out. Lou stepped into place beside us once we reached the door

As soon as we were down the long hallway and on the elevator to another level, I let out a long exhale. “That was hectic. ”

Bear’s jaw flexed, but the only sound he made was a deep grumble in his chest.

I wanted to lean against him, wanted to bury my face in his chest and inhale deeply to center myself, but I couldn’t. Lou was busy typing something into her phone, and Bear… Bear seemed to be busy trying to keep from murdering me for all the unnecessary touching I’d done.

As soon as the elevator stopped, Boomer was waiting to escort us to the dressing room so I could prepare for the concert.

“Hey, Boomer? Why did you ask Bodhi to keep an eye on me?” I wondered. “I mean, it was no big deal. He’s a sweet guy, and I… I don’t actually think he has anything to do with the stamping, but?—”

Bear shot Boomer an incredulous look. “You did what?”

Boomer shot Bear a guilty look. “He’s clear, Ryan. I told you, he almost definitely had an alibi for San Diego?—”

“And I told you, I don’t care about almost definitely?—”

“I got a callback tonight from the owner of the bar where he was playing. The guy has Bodhi on security cameras. He was in Reno that night. A hundred percent.”

Bear fumed, clearly not ready to let it go. “He could have paid someone?—”

Boomer shook his head insistently. “He didn’t. I checked Bodhi’s financials, and he’s not in a position to be paying anyone for anything. Besides which, he’s not the type. I told you?—”

“That he’s nice? Yeah, I got that. Would you stake your career on it?” Bear demanded.

“I’d stake my life on it,” Boomer shot back. His cheeks went pink. “I mean, yeah, I’d definitely stake my career on it. You get to know somebody when you’re tailing them like I’ve been doing, and Bodhi’s like… he’s like Snow White with the animals in the forest. He’s not just a pretty face and a great musician. He’s like… pure all the way down in his core. He’s earnest and kind. He finds musicians who need a hand up, and he gets them contacts and stuff. And he’s not obsessed with Zee. If anything, he’s trying to help people like Zee does.”

I blinked. I wasn’t sure I’d heard Boomer string that many words together in all the months I’d known him… and definitely not that soulfully.

I bit my lip to hold back a laugh. I wondered if Bear noticed the heart-eyes bugging out of Boomer’s face as he talked about my old friend or if that was just something I was attuned to, given my feelings for Bear himself.

“Told you,” I said to Bear, relieved to know for sure. “Bodhi’s a nice guy. One less person on the suspect list.”

We got to the door of the dressing room, and Boomer went in first. Once the space was clear, he came back out and nodded to Bear. Bear gave Boomer a look that said he wasn’t ready to forgive him for trusting Bodhi with my safety, then ushered me in and closed the door behind us, leaving Lou and Boomer out in the hall, guarding the door.

I immediately stepped into Bear’s body and mashed my face into his chest. His arms came around me and banded tight.

“You’re shaking,” he said, moving his hands to the collar of my shirt. He pulled it open just enough to peek on my neck and shoulders and let out a grunt of satisfaction at finding it free of marks.

“I was.” I shook my head. “I’m okay now. Truly.”

“Did something happen? Gerhard and Kasper pulled me aside to give me some, ah… paperwork. When I came back, you were surrounded by people.”

Even though I didn’t want to pull out of his embrace, I wanted to see his expression when I asked the question I couldn’t stop thinking about. “Are you going back to Ventdestine?”

“What?” His eyes narrowed. “Who told you that?”

My stomach twisted, and my heart gave a little lurch. I pulled completely out of his embrace and moved over to sit in a chair in front of the dressing table mirror. Bear put his hands on his hips and waited .

“Gisella mentioned the king and his security guy were offering you a lot of money to go back to them. Obscene amounts, she said.”

“Oh.” His posture relaxed. “Yes, they did. And no, I’m not.”

I knew he’d taken the job in Ventdestine originally because they’d offered him a good salary. I also knew the label wasn’t paying him enough for all the hours he spent guarding me, and I wasn’t allowed to supplement it. All I could do was request he be compensated at their highest established level.

“I would understand,” I began haltingly, “if?—”

“Zane. Are you saying you want me to go back to Ventdestine?”

“What? No! Hell no. Of course not. I just…” Feel nauseous. Want to chain you to the wall. Want to tell you how I really feel. “Wanted you to know I would support you. I…” Say it, Zane. “I want you to be happy.”

He crossed his big arms in front of his chest, eyes narrowed. “And you think my happiness lies in Ventdestine.”

“No! I… I don’t know?—”

A knock on the door snapped our attention away. “Zane, your stylists are here,” Lou called.

Bear kept his eyes on me as he called back. “He’s ready. I’m going to need you to swap out with me, Lou.” He lowered his voice so only I could hear as the door opened and Lou escorted the stylists in. “I’m going to make sure the royal family find their seats and have everything they need. I’ll see you after the show.”

I clenched my jaw and nodded. I was a professional, and I would remain professional. There was a show to put on, and I was going to rock the fuck out of it.

Bear’s face softened as he reached out to brush my hand. “Break a leg. You got this. And Zane?”

“Huh?”

He leaned in and brushed my ear with his lips. “My happiness isn’t in Ventdestine.”

As he walked away, I turned in the chair to let the stylists have their way with me, my head spinning from his words. What had he meant, exactly?

Thankfully, all I had to do was sit in the chair and get worked on. I was already dressed, so all that was left was hair and makeup touch-ups.

Carlo moved around me in his typical silent but energized manner, applying bronzer to my neck, chest, and arms, while Kim chatted my ear off about the Bear Facts podcast she’d turned me on to as she turned my flat, tangled hair into something stage-worthy.

I let my mind drift off, wondering if I had the guts to sing the song I’d written for Bear. The song was light and fun—the melody still was—but the lyrics revealed way too much about my feelings for him.

I wanted Bear to know how I felt, to show him how much he meant to me, but I also didn’t want to put him on the spot. Not that anyone in the audience would know the song was about him—though Landry might’ve guessed if he was here—but Bear would know.

I pressed a hand to my stomach, trying to summon my courage, to reach out and grab the fairy tale I wanted… but something about tonight felt off. I was too unsettled to risk that song.

Kim’s pleasant chatter and Carlo’s periodic giggle in response to it cheered me up. By the time I heard the crowd outside screaming for the opening artists, I was ready to hit the stage and give a great performance.

Lou and Boomer escorted me up to the backstage area, where I met with the opening band coming off the stage and thanked them for performing with us tonight. I quickly told the band we could debut my other new song, which I’d renamed “Mending Fairytales”… and then it was time to take the stage.

The only thing missing was my bodyguard.