Chapter 7

Ash

"Something happened,"I tell the guys as I walk into the Mountain Rescue Headquarters the next day.

Everyone comes to attention, looking at me with worry. They're all ready to help, and I take a moment to appreciate them and how they always have my back.

"I slept with Tessa," I blurt, and everyone relaxes, letting out big exhales as they turn to go back to what they were doing.

"Jesus, Ash, I thought that it was something serious," Flint complains as he picks up his bowl of cereal and goes back to the couch.

"I slept with her and messed everything up," I go on, and he frowns.

"How?" Niko asks, leaning against the fireplace.

"She knows about shifters from Elle," I tell him. "So she knows I knew she was my fated mate months ago and never claimed her."

"Oh," Alec says, and I nod.

"Yeah," I agree.

"But you've claimed her now," Gunner says, and I scrub my hands down my face.

"Yeah, but now she might not want me."

Gunner looks at me. He knows about my fears of my mate rejecting me; they all do. I can see them all realizing that my greatest fear might be happening to me right now.

"Have you talked to her?" Niko asks, and I sigh.

"Kind of, or I tried to anyway."

"And how did that go?" He asks.

I groan and plop down on the couch next to Flint, staring up at the ceiling.

"So not great," he guesses, and I glare at him.

"No, she said that she needs time."

"Well, I can't blame her," Alec says as he takes a seat on the other couch.

I turn to glare at him, and he shrugs.

"You were an idiot. You pushed her away for months and now you're surprised that she's upset about it. You had your fated mate practically delivered to you on a silver platter, and you rejected her for months."

I know that he's right, and I probably deserve to be torn to shreds a bit, but I already feel awful, and I was hoping for some advice, not for them to point out all the ways that I fucked up.

"Not everyone is lucky enough to have found their mate," he says quietly and I wince.

He's right. I was lucky enough to find my mate and may have blown my chance with her.

"You're right. I was an idiot. I thought I was protecting myself, but I think I just ruined everything."

"Listen, we can talk about this all day, but the person you need to be talking to and explaining all of this to is Tessa," Niko tells me.

"I don't think she wants to see me right now," I admit, and he shrugs.

"You have to try."

I nod. I know he's right. I'm just scared that she's going to end it with me.

My polar bear whines inside of me. He can't stand the thought that our mate could leave us. Not when we've finally given in and claimed her.

"If she leaves, I won't be able to live without her," I say quietly, and all the guys give me a grim look.

"Then don't let her leave," Flint says, and I sigh, clapping him on the shoulder as I push to my feet and head for the door.

I head out to my truck and climb in. My polar bear is busy pacing back and forth inside me, and I try to calm him down as we head into town to her place.

I park outside her apartment building and try to give myself a little pep talk as I climb out of my truck and head up the stairs to her place. I can hear her moving around inside and I take a deep breath before I knock.

"One minute!" She calls out, and my polar bear rises to his legs inside me as we wait for her to answer the door.

The door opens, and her smile drops when she sees me standing there. My polar bear paws at me, and I wince.

"Hey," I start, and she nods.

"Hey. What are you doing here?"

Alright, not off to a great start, but maybe I can turn things around.

"I wanted to talk to you. Could I come in for a minute?" I ask her, and she chews on her plump bottom lip.

My bear growls. He wants us to be the one chewing on her lip, kissing her, touching her, loving her.

Hopefully we will be soon,I tell him, and he nods.

We will,he vows.

"Um, okay," she says, opening the door a little more so I can come in.

She smells so good, like sugar cookies, and my mouth starts to water. I want to lick her from head to toe, but I can tell from the look on her face that's not going to happen.

"I wanted to apologize again and try to explain myself better," I start as we sit down in her living room.

"I already heard your excuses. You're afraid that I'm going to change my mind and leave you, that I'm going to be fickle with my love because I'm a human instead of a shifter," she says, and I can hear the hurt and anger in her voice.

My polar bear paws at me, just as angry with me for hurting our mate, and I duck my head.

"I—" I start but she cuts me off.

"No. It's my turn to talk. You think that I'm the one who is going to leave, but the truth is that you're the one being wishy-washy about all of this. You're the one who can't decide if he wants me or not, who rejected me for months, who finally claimed me and then started to push me away again the next morning."

"I do want you, Tessa. I always did. I was just afraid that you?—"

"No. Stop. You can say that now, but how can I trust that?"

"I'm your fated mate. I'm a shifter. You're the only one I will ever want," I try to tell her, but she shakes her head.

"How can I trust that? If that were true, then wouldn't you have claimed me long before the other night? Obviously, you can reject me if you want to."

"Not now that I've claimed you."

Her mouth is in a flat line, and I know this talk isn't going the way I wanted it to.

"Tessa," I start, and she shakes her head.

"How can this work? You don't trust me, and I don't trust you now."

I can feel my heart breaking in my chest at her words. My polar bear cries out, howling inside of me so loud that it almost deafens me.

"Tessa," I choke out, and she swipes at her eyes. "I do trust you."

I tell her that, but I can tell that she doesn't believe me.

"I do trust you," I say again. "I swear. I know that you don't believe me, but I do, and you can trust me."

She stares at me, looking heartbroken, but I can see the hope in her eyes. She wants to believe me, but she's scared, and I'm the one who made her that way.

"I'm going to show you that you can trust me. That we're meant to be," I promise her, and she just stares at me.

My polar bear roars in agreement. He likes the plan of winning our fated mate back, and I push to my feet. I said what I needed to say. Now, I need to give her time to process what I said.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I tell her, and she watches me silently as I head for the front door.

I return to my truck and make the short drive back to my place. As I walk inside, the emptiness hits me. I never noticed how alone I am, but now that I have my mate, it's obvious. I want her here. I need her to be here with me.