Chapter 6

Tessa

The plane ride was awkward,butridinge in Ash's truck might be even worse. Probably because now we're alone and there's nothing to stop us from talking.

We've been riding in silence for the last half an hour and we're finally out of Anchorage and on the road back to Aspen Ridge. Ash keeps glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. He's looking at me like he thinks I'm plotting a surprise attack, and he's trying to prepare for it. I guess that I kind of am.

Part of me wants to demand that he answer all of my questions, but I think that deep down, I know I'm not going to like what he has to say. I've been stalling, trying to protect myself and my heart, but this needs to be done.

"So," I start, and he shifts in his seat, glancing at me warily.

"I wanted to claim you," he starts, and I tense, anger coursing through my veins.

"Then why didn't you?" I snap. "Why wait months?"

"I never wanted to find my fated mate. I never wanted to be mated," he admits, and it feels like I was just stabbed in the heart.

"You never wanted me," I say dully, and he shakes his head.

"Not you. I never wanted anyone to be my mate. When I met you, I wanted you, but…"

"But you didn't want to want me."

He nods, looking nervous.

"Why?" I demand to know.

"My mom was human. She left my dad when I was a kid and it destroyed him. He became a shell of a person. I watched it happen, and I promised myself that I would never be like that. I never wanted to give someone the power to destroy me."

My heart breaks for him and what he must have gone through when his mom left, but I'm also kind of insulted.

"So, you thought I was going to leave," I say slowly, and he nods.

"Yeah."

"Because I'm a human."

He nods again, and my hands ball into fists.

"So, you don't know me at all then. I wouldn't do that. I would never abandon my kids, and if I loved you, then I would never want to hurt you either."

"Tessa," he starts, but I'm fuming.

"What changed? Why claim me then if you never wanted me?"

"It was just too much temptation," he answers quietly, and I blink back tears.

"Because it was the full moon."

He nods, and I turn to the window.

"Would you have claimed me if we weren't on this trip? If we were just in Aspen Ridge or hell, if we were in separate hotel rooms? Would you have claimed me?" I ask him, and the silence that greets me is my answer.

Tears spill over onto my cheeks and I swipe at them angrily.

"Tessa," Ash starts, his voice sounding anguished.

"Stop," I whisper, and he tightens his grip on the steering wheel.

We're still a few hours from home, and right now, I'm wishing I was anywhere else. I let out a chuckle as I realize that just a few hours ago, I would have killed to be alone in a car with Ash for a few hours.

I need Elle.

A pang hits me as I think about going to see her when we land. She'll be at her house,and her mate, Niko,will be doting on her.

Why couldn't my mate be like that? Niko was all in with Elle as soon as he saw her. He knew she was meant to be his and stopped at nothing until he proved that to her. Why can't I have a love like that?

My back straightens and I dry my eyes. I deserve a love like that. Sure, Ash is worried that I'm going to leave, well, maybe he should be. Why would I want to stay and be in a relationship with someone who isn't really picking me? With someone who doesn't trust me? If fate wasn't part of this, then Ash probably never would have looked at me twice.

"I deserve better," I whisper, and Ash's head snaps to look at me.

"Tessa," he starts, but I shake my head.

"I don't want to talk anymore. Just take me home."

I can tell he doesn't want to do that, but the look on my face must make him realize that talking more right now is only going to make things worse between us.

We spend the rest of the trip in tense silence. When we pass the town sign for Aspen Ridge, I start to relax. I'm going to be out of this truck in a few minutes, and then I can go see Elle and try to process everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours.

When Ash pulls up to the curb outside my apartment, I practically leap from the truck.

"Tessa, wait!" He shouts, but I slam the door closed and hurry over to the stairs that lead up to my apartment.

I slam the door before he can get out of his truck adn follow me and flip the lock before I relax. I sag back against the door and stare at my empty apartment.

My phone buzzes and I pull it out to see a message from Elle. She's headed to a doctor's appointment, but she can't wait to hear about the trip.

Tears sting my eyes as I read her text, and I slowly sink down until I'm sitting on the floor, tears streaming down my face.

I cry for a long time after that.