Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Chrissy

I can't believe it's him. That he's here. After five years of wondering if I'd ever see him again, he's really here. But it's not at all like the way I dreamt it would be. There was no warmth radiating off of him when he saw me. No sweet embrace or whispered I missed yous. There wasn't one flicker of the love we once shared burning in those incredible eyes. There was just an icy coldness that seemed something akin to hatred. And it was more than obvious by his harsh tone and sharp words that he's not happy to see me.

But can I really blame him after what happened?

He storms out the door, and I feel as if my heart is once again going with him. I want to chase after him and beg his forgiveness, but I don't. I can't. I'm not sure what words I could possibly say to make anything that happened okay. Sorry seems too weak. That little word will never be enough.

"So, will you?" Hailey's voice cuts through my thoughts and has my attention turning back to the girl who's waiting on me for a response, but I have no clue what she even asked. Not a single word was heard through my shock.

"Will I what?"

She shakes her head like I'm a goofball. "Were you not listening, Chrissy? I asked if you'll go on a date with my brother. The guy's been single for way too long and it's time he did something other than work."

Will I go on a date with her brother? That's what she's asking me? Here I am struggling to even stand upright, having just run into the guy who I've been so madly in love with for years and didn't think I'd ever see again, and she wants to know if I'll go on a blind date with her brother. I don't want to date anyone. I haven't wanted to date anyone since Sean. He's still the only man I want to be with. The only one I'll ever love.

"Earth to Chrissy!"

"Fine," I agree, feeling absolutely flustered by her really shitty timing. I have no intention of going out with her brother, but I need her to get back to work so I can go have my break. Literally. I need a few minutes to myself to deal with the tidal wave of pain that is crashing into me. When I can think clearly again, I'll find an excuse to get out of the date I just agreed to.

"Great!" She nods, way too excitedly, and the guilt hits me hard for giving her any kind of false hope. I really just need to get out of here. I can't deal with this right now.

"Hey, girl! I'm going to go take my fifteen. Would you mind watching my tables for me?"

"Sure," she eagerly agrees, willing to do just about anything for me now that I've agreed to go out with her brother, and another wave of guilt crashes in. I quickly tell her thanks, and rush to the back, desperately needing fresh air and a private place to unleash all the emotion consuming me.

I push through the back door and suck in a deep breath of the cold night air, but it does nothing to cool me down. The cold brick wall at my back at least helps to keep me from sliding to the ground. I rest my head against the rough hardness and shut my eyes, but it doesn't block out the pain. All I see is the hatred that was just staring back at me from the man who's always held my heart.

His eyes used to look at me with so much love, but now… Now, they looked as if I was the last person on the planet he wanted to see. I know what I did was wrong. I should've told him who my father was and given him the choice. Instead, I made the choice for him. I brought him into my world and ended up destroying everything he'd built for himself. I can't blame him for his hatred. Even I hate myself for what I did.

Somehow, I need to make things right. I need to make up for the pain I caused him. I just don't know how. Words won't change the past. Words seem so insignificant.

The tears slide down my cheeks. I wish I could talk to my sister. Even though Jess is five years younger than me, she's so much wiser. But Deputy Fink warned me that if I ever tried to make contact again, I'd be thrown in jail. And given that my father has the judge nestled snug in his back pocket, I know I'd be found guilty of whatever false charges they accuse me of. So, I won't risk it.

"Here you are, Chrissy. I was looking all over for you." Hailey's voice has me turning. There's no way my fifteen is up already. "Something just came up for my brother, so he'll be by tomorrow night instead to meet you. Okay? Sorry. I promise he's not trying to get out of it."

"Um…okay." I didn't realize I was supposed to meet the guy tonight. And I am seriously thankful for tiny miracles. But now, how am I going to get out of the date? There's only one man who will ever own my heart so there's no point in leading anyone else on. "Actually, Hailey, I don't think it's a good idea. I mean…um… I'm not ready for a relationship, and I definitely don't want to let your brother think that I am."

She shakes her head, waving me off like it's no big deal. "All I'm asking is for you to meet him, Chrissy. You'd be doing me a big favor. I really want him to just see that there's a world out there besides work, and when I told him about you, he actually agreed to come meet you. That's a huge step for him. So, even if you have no interest in seeing him again, can you at least not shoot him down before he even gets through the door? I'm not sure I'll ever get him to agree to another setup if you do."

Shoot, when she puts it like that, how can I say no? Of course, I'll do my sweet friend this favor. After all, I'm just meeting the guy; it's not like I have to marry him.

"Okay," I agree. "As long as there's no expectation for more, I'll definitely meet him."

"Great! Thank you. That's all I'm asking for, Chrissy Cakes."

Hailey's nickname for me has me smiling. My head is still a mess, but at least I can breathe again. Thanks to her distraction. But the distraction is short lived, and as I return to my tables, my mind starts to spin with all thoughts of Sean.