Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Chrissy

W e walk into the clubhouse, and my eyes scan the room, taking it all in. It's like a rustic mancave. A man's ultimate bachelor pad. There's a huge bar stocked full of every kind of liquor you could imagine. There are pool tables, leather sofas, and a few ginormous televisions placed around the room. Then to add to the motif are a bunch of scantily clad women hanging out. I'm guessing they're the sweetbutts that JoeJoe and Hailey had filled me in about.

A twinge of jealousy gives me a jab in the stomach, but when I look up and see Sean's eyes only staring at me and not at those pretty women, my nerves settle. He takes my hand and pulls me against him. "You doing okay, babe? We can go chill in my room if you want."

I shake my head. If we go to his room, I don't think we'll end up doing much talking. Besides, I want to meet his friends and learn about his club life.

"Do you mind if we get a drink?" I'm not a big drinker but could definitely use something to take the edge off. I'm so nervous about what people are going to think of me, especially, since I just showed up out of nowhere and now we're engaged. I know Grit, Trigger and the others who come into the bar, but there's a room full of men I've never seen before. And they all happen to be giving me a once-over.

"Of course, babe. You can have anything you want." He takes my hand and leads me to the bar. "Hey, Roxy. Would you mind getting my girl a drink?"

The girl who was staring intently at her phone looks up. The second she sees us, her eyes grow wide with shock. Roxy? Where have I heard that name before? That's right. She's the one JoeJoe placed a bet on. She's the one sleeping with Shiv. Wow. She's really pretty. Shiv would be crazy not to snatch her up.

"Holy shit. Is this her? Is she the one?"

She's acting as if Sean told her about me, which means she probably thinks I'm a total bitch. But Roxy is smiling big at me, instead of looking like she wants to slap me across the face, so whatever he told her couldn't have been all that bad.

"Roxy, meet Chrissy. Baby girl, this is Rox."

"Wow, Shiv. Good for you." She nudges him in the shoulder. "I'm glad you took my advice and went and found her. Looks like I was right. I think you owe me a hundred bucks."

Shiv… Shiv… Shiv… The word plays on repeat in my mind. She just called Sean Shiv. Roxy. Shiv. Roxy and Shiv. They are the couple JoeJoe is betting on. They've been seeing each other. Sean is Shiv. She's his sweetbutt.

I stumble backwards. Not knowing which way to turn and not being able to move. I'm such an idiot. He had a life. He had a relationship. He's involved with her.

"You two…" The words stutter from my mouth. "You're Roxy. The girl he's been…" I can't even say the rest. The rest gets stuck on my tongue like super glue, and the pain slices right through me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" I shouldn't be here. I should've left town and let him live his life.

"Baby," Sean turns towards me, looking worried. "Whatever you've heard is wrong. Please. Just let me explain. Please don't run away from me."

He read my mind. I want to run. I need to run. But my feet are barely holding me upright. I don't think I could even walk right now if I wanted to. Why won't my feet work?

"Shiv, let me handle this one. You mind giving us a few minutes alone?" Roxy's voice is like satin, smooth and friendly. I turn toward her sweet voice and her kind eyes hit me with guilt. I just swooped in and took him from her. Whatever they had, whatever she thought was happening between them, I just ripped it to shreds.

"Okay, but…"

She shakes her head at him like he doesn't need to finish his thought. They're so close they can read each other's minds. Another sign that I need to get in my car and drive as fast as I can away from this place.

Sean reluctantly turns and walks over to the door, planting himself in front of it. If I weren't freaking out right now, I'd laugh at his barbaric stance in blocking my escape. But right now, I want to find another way out of the clubhouse so I don't have to face the girl who's been sleeping with the man I love.

"Chrissy." I turn to face her, not wanting to look into her pretty eyes. She's so stunning. And seems so nice. I like her. "It's not what you think. I'm a sweetbutt. And we were both just using each other to drown out the pain. It's always been you he wanted. He never stopped loving you. Please. Don't walk away from him again. He's been a mess without you. You're his happily-ever-after. I've always known that. I even told him to go find you, and I'm thankful he took my advice."

I want to argue that wasn't exactly the case, but how we found each other doesn't really matter. I'm just caught in the chaos of my emotions. Doubt, fear, pain, and confusion are churning my stomach on end.

"But… I heard that lately you two seemed kind of serious, exclusive." The pain sinks in deeper. "I don't… I'll leave if…I love him." My truth comes slipping through my lips. She reaches for my hands, gripping them tight, offering the comfort I so desperately need.

"And he loves you." She nods. "Look. Please don't take offense to what I'm about to say. But I realized as soon as I met Shiv that he was still messed up over a girl from his past. That his heart was still taken. I knew from the start that he was a safe bet and wouldn't get attached like some of the other Savage Knights have, so I decided to stick with the one man I knew I'd never have. Knowing his heart belonged to you, I figured I couldn't do any more damage." She gives me an apologetic look, but I'm the one who is sorry for causing him that pain. "So, I know it's not what you want to hear, but when it came to me and Shiv, it was purely just sex."

Though I hate having the knowledge of them being together, I'm thankful for her honesty. Relief is a little too strong of a word since I'm struggling to reconcile what we lost and what he gave to someone else, but one thing I'm so grateful for is knowing his heart couldn't move on. And from here on out, I'm going to make sure I repair all the "damage" I caused.

"Thank you, Rox. Thank you for your honesty." Something tells me she's been hurt in the past and has now closed herself off to love. And though I hate the fact that the kind, beautiful girl before me has suffered, I'm grateful her heart didn't attach itself to the man who owns mine. Because I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I let someone else suffer the excruciating pain of a broken heart.

She reaches out and pulls me in for a hug, and I cling to her for all the support I can get. "I really hope that because of my history with Shiv, you won't hate me."

I squeeze her tighter, feeling so grateful for her acceptance and her kindness. I know this is probably when jealousy should kick in or anger, but after all that we've been through, I just don't have it in me to hold onto the pain. I just want to be with him and look to our future. "I hope we can become friends," I tell her. After everything I've been through in my life, I could really use a good friend.

She pulls back, smiling so brightly, and I'm nearly brought to tears again. "I'd love that. Now"—her eyes shift over my shoulder—"go put your man out of his misery. He's sweating bullets over there."

I turn and see Sean's eyes watching me like a nervous guard dog. I bite back my smile and turn in my boots, walking over to the man who I've loved since the moment he picked me up on the side of the road and took me out of harm's way.

I step right in front of him, tipping my head back to see his dreamy eyes. "I think you need to take me upstairs, Shiv. It's time for you to show me how much you love me."

His nostrils flare. He lifts me in his arms, his eyes intensely staring straight into mine. "Love you so damn much, baby girl." He carries me to his room, whispering his love for me and reassuring that it's always been me. And always will be. But he doesn't need to prove himself, I know the bond we share. And I know it's unbreakable.

As soon as we're locked inside his room, I push him up against the door, then slide right down to my knees. I reach for his zipper as I look up. "You're mine now, Sean."

He looks down, and the love in his eyes has my heart pattering. "It was always you, babe. I lived inside my head more than in reality, always wishing you'd be real. I'm sorry I shared myself with another, but I promise you, Chrissy, my heart has always been yours."

I shake my head. I don't want to think about what we can't change. I just want to live in the moment with him. "You don't owe me an apology, but you can certainly make it up to me and fuck my mouth."

His groan sends my body up in flames. My pussy is already tingling with anticipation. I move in and slide my lips right around the tip of his girth, groaning along with him as his taste hits my tongue. I always loved sucking him off. I love the way his strong body grows weak, and he gives himself over. He's so powerful and strong, dominant and commanding, but when his dick is sliding down the back of my throat, he's like putty in my hands.

"Fuck, baby. You and that mouth."

I take him deeper, showing him exactly what my mouth can do, and my name is shouted from his lips. His hunger fuels me headfirst, bobbing faster, deeper, licking over every thick inch. When I reach between his legs, running my fingers over his sack and giving him a light squeeze, his cum goes running down the back of my throat. I suck down every drop, savoring every pulsing throb that hits my tongue. His body goes slack, and when I ease off and look up, I see it on his face— the look of pure adoration as he stares longingly down into my eyes— and I can't help but fall even harder.