Chapter 13

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S econds turning into agonizing minutes, minutes stretching into eternity.

This was killing me.

Two minutes.

Panic squeezed almost all the fucking air out of my lungs.

“Red, where the fuck are you?!” I shouted again, my voice cracking like I was some desperate asshole.

My eyes scanned the murky depths, searching for any sign of her. Panic turned to terror, my mind conjuring up the worst scenarios.

My heart was in my throat, my stomach in knots.

Five minutes.

I dove under, hands clawing through the water, blind as hell but desperate to find her. The icy grip of the water was choking the life out of me, but I kept thrashing, kept kicking. She was fucking nowhere.

My chest felt like it was going to burst. I resurfaced, the weight of fear crushing my entire being. I screamed again her name, the sound echoing off the trees lining the riverbank. But all I heard was the silence of the water.

“RED!” I choked out, my voice hoarse with anguish.

My lungs burned as I fought against the water, desperately searching for any sign of her. Fear clawed at my throat, choking the fuck out of me as I swam faster, my muscles straining with every stroke.

A flash of movement, a hint of red hair, a glimpse of what could be her…

And then, in the corner of my eye, I spotted her, her head just barely bobbing above the surface of the water. She was being dragged mercilessly by the current, struggling to hold on to a branch that hung low from a nearby tree, barely keeping her afloat. Her eyes were wide with fear, her grip slipping with every second that passed. She clung to that branch like her life depended on it, because it fucking did.

I propelled myself forward, the water churning beneath me as I swam towards her with all the strength I had. Each stroke was fueled by pure determination, my muscles burning with exertion. The water clawed at my face, my lungs screaming for air, but I pushed through. The distance between us closed, inch by agonizing inch.

Finally, I reached her, my hands grabbing her trembling body. Relief slammed into me so hard I almost went under, but I held on, locking my arm around her waist as the river tried to rip us apart.

“Hold tight!” I yelled over the roar of the river.

Red nodded, her fingers digging into my arm as I yanked her towards me, her body crashing into mine. We both gasped for air, our bodies pressed close together in the tumultuous water. The current fought against us, trying to rip her away, but I wouldn’t allow it.

Every muscle in my body was on fire, straining as I fought to keep us both afloat. Red’s tiny hands clung to me with a desperate grip, hanging on for dear life, her body trembling as she struggled to keep her head above water.

We approached the shore, my arms and legs straining under the effort of swimming and supporting us both. We both collapsed onto the muddy ground, gasping for air, as we coughed and spit out river water.

“Holy fuck,” Red gagged, coughing and sputtering.

“You scared the shit out of me,” I panted, my breath coming in heaving gasps. “Don’t you ever pull a stunt like that again.”

She managed a weak smile, her voice hoarse as she replied, “I told you I don’t like—"

I cut her off mid-sentence, grabbing the back of her head and pulling her into me, hard. I needed to hold her, needed to feel her alive in my arms, after coming so close to losing her. Her soaked body melted into mine, her heart pounding against my chest, in sync with my own.

She buried her face in my chest, her fingers clutching my shirt like she never wanted to let go. My hand tangled in her wet hair, my fingers running through it like I was trying to wipe away the nightmare we just survived.

“Why the hell didn’t you scream for help back there?” I inquired, my hands still wrapped around her waist as I tried to keep her warm.

“I didn’t want to draw attention to us,” she responded, her eyes dropping to the ground as if ashamed. “I was scared, but I thought I could manage on my own,” continued, trying to defend herself.

My thumb caressed her chin, cupping her face in my hand and forcing her to look at me.

I raised an eyebrow, narrowing my eyes at her like she was out of her fucking mind as I countered, “Are you kidding me? You could’ve drowned, for fuck’s sake.”

Red shrugged, seemingly unfazed by my worry.

“Yeah, I’m aware of that,” she said flatly, as if it was no big deal.

I tilted her head once again, my hand cradling her jaw. Our eyes locked, and in that moment, I felt a thousand fucking things that I knew I shouldn’t, all of them inappropriate.

Lust, desire, attachment, yearning, the list went on.

“I’m fucking glad you didn’t,” I whispered hoarsely.

My hands roamed over her back, tracing the lines of her body—every curve, every dip. She was ice cold, her soaked clothes plastered to her skin, and the more I touched her, the more I wanted her. She was shivering, fighting to hold it together, and I could feel the heat building in me, pulling me closer to the edge.

Red opened her mouth to speak, her voice shaking a little.

“I know it’s ridiculous,” she admitted, biting her lip, “but I’m terrified of water.”

Her voice cracked with remorse as she continued, “My father... he died drowning, and it’s haunted me ever since,” she confessed, her vulnerability piercing through the wall of anger I had erected.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling like a clueless idiot for not picking up on it sooner. How the hell did I miss something that big?

“You should’ve told me sooner,” I mumbled, shaking my head.

Now I felt like the asshole I was for dragging her into the water without knowing.

“I would’ve never forced you into that if I knew,” I added, pulling her closer, as if I could erase what had just happened.

“I know,” she said back, her head hanging low. “I’m sorry,” but her words didn’t help me to forgive myself.

Her words didn’t make me feel any better. They didn’t change the fact that I almost got her killed because I was too wrapped up in my own shit to notice hers. Her tears soaked into my shoulder, and whatever rage I was holding onto just melted away, replaced by something else. Something fierce. Something protective.

“Shhh... it’s okay,” I whispered, gently rubbing my fingers in circles on her back. “You’re safe now,” I reassured her, my breath hot against her ear. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

She was fragile, breakable in a way that made me want to burn the whole world to ash just to keep her from getting hurt again.

I didn’t give a single, solitary fuck if the talibans came after us. Hell, they could surround us, could line up with guns aimed right at us, and I’d still stand there, holding her, daring them to try.

Red clung to me, her fingers twisting in my hair, her whole body trembling against mine.

Fuck, she looked so bloody vulnerable.

It reminded me of me —that scared little kid, getting beat down by a piece of shit who called himself my father. Made me think of all the times I wished someone would’ve held me like this, kept me safe when I was alone in the dark.

But here she was—a soft, innocent woman, completely out of her depth in this warfare or violence.

She didn’t have to say it. I could see it in her eyes—she trusted me. She fucking needed me.

I wasn’t letting her go. Not until she told me to. I’d take on the goddamn apocalypse if that’s what it took to keep her safe.

Damn the fucking consequences.

As we approached the base, my gut was a tangled ball of nerves. My whole body was tight with rage and anger, feeling the red-hot flush of heat rise up my neck and fill my face.

Being close to Red made me feel like a mess, weak and vulnerable in ways I hadn’t felt since my teenage years, when my old man used to beat the shit out of me. I couldn’t go back to that place. I couldn’t let anyone have that kind of power over me again.

It was fucking ironic, really. In my line of work, I faced danger head-on, stared death in the face without flinching. But when it came to opening up, to showing my true self, I was fucking terrified. I couldn’t bear the thought of being seen as weak, as that same pathetic little boy my father deemed me to be.

I didn’t like what I was turning into. The way I was spiraling.

So, I made a vow to stop giving a fuck, to stop caring about anyone or anything.

But Red… she made me feel something I couldn’t explain. I didn’t have the words for it, and I damn sure didn’t know how the hell I was gonna explain her to my commander.

I shook my head, trying to shake off the desire to protect her, to keep her close. I couldn’t let her in. I couldn’t let her see what I really was—the twisted wreck of a man behind the tough guy act. Because if she saw that, if she saw the monster, I knew she’d run.

And I couldn’t handle that.

She couldn’t see the boy I’d been, and I wasn’t about to let her know that shit.

I was doing her a favor.

I felt Red’s eyes boring into the side of my skull, like she was drilling for answers I had no intention of giving. But I couldn’t dodge her questions forever.

“We’re almost there,” I announced brusquely, trying to sound calm, like I had my shit together.

She raised an eyebrow, her eyes searching mine for answers. “What’s our strategy?” she demanded, a look of suspicion on her face.

I let out a frustrated sigh, my hand running through my hair as I struggled not to lose it. “I don’t have one because I didn’t expect you to be here,” I grunted, my jaw clenched. “You followed me against my will.”

Red crossed her arms in front of her chest, a green, liquid fire burning in her eyes. “You conveniently forgot that you ran away from the hospital against my consent,” she said, not letting me off the hook. “As your doctor, I could easily report you to your commander.”

She was pushing me to my limit, and I was dangerously close to losing it. I took a step closer, our bodies almost touching, the tension between us thick as concrete. She had me by the fucking balls, and she knew it.

“Oh, so you’re blackmailing me now, Doc?”

My temper was short, my patience practically non-existent. I wanted to snap her back, to make her see how stupid she was being. To remind her who she was talking to. To make her remember that I was not someone you tried to piss off.

“Blackmailing you?” she asked, throwing up her hands. “Hardly. I’m stating facts, just like you did.”

My teeth were clenched so tight that my jaw hurt. “I don’t recall kidnapping you or forcing you to come with me, so you’re just as guilty as me,” I argued, my voice growing sharper.

I was so close that I could feel her breath, see every little detail of her face, and hear her heart pounding in her chest. No matter how close I got to her, she didn’t back away from me.

Red looked me dead in the eyes, never faltering or letting her gaze stray away from mine. She didn’t flinch, or cower. She wasn’t intimidated.

“We both broke the rules, okay?” she said, a small snarl appearing in his voice. “You can’t just twist every situation to suit your needs.”

The audacity. She was calling me out for twisting things when she had been doing exactly that from the beginning.

“Oh, please, like you’re not doing that right now,” I fired back, mirroring her words.

Red wasn’t about to budge, and neither was I. “I’m not twisting anything,” she snapped. “You’re just trying to turn this around to avoid taking any responsibility.”

“Is that so?” I asked, mockingly. “You should be careful, Red. You sound just like me.”

It seemed that we were back to square one. We had started our argument with an ultimatum, and now, it looked like we would finish with nothing more than a stalemate.

“I’m not continuing this discussion,” she said, turning away from me. “It’s pointless.”

I moved faster, stepping in front of her to block her path. I wasn’t about to let her pull this crap on me. “Don’t just walk away, damn it,” I said, my words coming out sharp and hard. “We’re not done here.”

“You don’t get to boss me around,” she replied, just as sharply. “We have nothing to talk about.”

My body tensed, the urge to grab her, make her stay, practically buzzing under my skin. But then I saw the bruises on her arms, the scratches on her knees, the tiny, bloody cuts under her fingernails—like she’d been clawing at her own skin.

Christ, so damn pale.

And the dark circles underneath the eyes.

Her clothes were dry now, but they hung off her frame limply, barely clinging to her thin and trembling body. She looked weak and tired, as if she was barely holding on to life.

Pale. Exhausted. Broken.

My grasp faltered, my fingers curling into fist and unclenching again. I couldn’t add to her shit. I couldn’t push her any more than she’d already been pushed. And I knew that, if I touched her now, that’s exactly what would happen.

“I’ll figure something out,” I began, my voice catching in my throat as I fought to stay in control. “For both of us.”

My anger disappeared like a wisp of smoke as concern took over. She didn’t want to fucking tell me where she got them, and I respected her enough to let it slide.

“Okay,” she said quietly. “Whatever story you come up with, I’ll back you up.”

I was too caught up staring at her—her ruby hair catching the light, her eyes drawing me in—when I heard it.

A pop.

Faint at first, but there.

Followed by a loud bang.

I was frozen. But only for a moment.

A bullet whizzed by my head, missing by inches.

In the blink of an eye, my thoughts turned to survival mode. I felt my heart beating in my throat, my blood run cold as I registered what was happening and pushed Red to the ground, crouching next to her.

“Get down!” I yelled, covering her with my body.

In the distance, I saw the muzzle flash as another bullet was fired our way. A shadow caught my eye and I saw a Taliban son of a bitch aiming again right at us.

We were fucking screwed.