Chapter 31

Chapter

Thirty-One

CALLISTO

"Hmmmm," Madden mutters from where he's sitting at a table with the rest of us. "So… you two are going to leave this… rather nice place where we're pampered, fed, and treated like royalty to… save the world?" He sounds horribly skeptical.

"You make it sound like we're a whole lot more skilled than we are," I say. "We're going to go attempt to stop an evil dude sitting on his evil throne while trying not to get murdered by equally evil people."

Silas nods, clearly understanding my thought process. "Basically, we're saying we'll be back… probably. Unless we get murdered, and then we're definitely not coming back."

"Can I have all your money if you get murdered?" Madden asks.

"As long as you give some to Dandelion," Silas says.

"Or if we live together and become… together, we can have it… together," Madden suggests as he stares at Dandelion, who seems to ignore that. Then Madden sighs and flops against the table. "I guess I have to go with you. Is there a reward?"

"Huh?" Silas asks.

"You know… like monetary compensation for risking my life?"

Markson, who must have been outside the room, peeks his head in. "We will reward you with something."

"It's probably like a ‘Yay, you survived the evil overlord shitface' shirt or something," Madden mutters.

"Nah, it wouldn't be that. They charge per letter and that's far too long," Markson says with a beaming smile.

"You can trust nothing Markson says," I announce. "This one time he told me he'd reward me handsomely if I rode through the night to carry a letter like waaaaay out there where people were like ‘I'm gonna kill you if I capture you.' And you know what he gave me? A fucking apple."

"It was a very good apple," Markson comments. "I'll give all of you apples too if you return."

"I better get a fucking puppy too," Madden says.

"You can stay here," Silas retorts as we all get up and start toward the door. "Honestly, I didn't expect you'd even come with us. Why, when there's so much for you here?"

Madden shrugs. "Don't worry about it."

"I'm worried about it," Silas says.

Madden takes to ignoring Silas, whose only response is to look more suspicious.

"Madden, seriously, you don't have to go," I say.

"Yeah, and then you two dumbasses will go off and get killed and then what the fuck am I supposed to do?" he complains.

I hesitate before beaming at Madden. "Do you like me?"

His face scrunches up in disgust. "Ew, no."

Clearly, he does. "You want to be my friend?"

"I'd rather be friends with a rock," he grumbles.

But I can't stop smiling at him as I reach over and hug him. At first, Madden is all grumbly before he hugs me back, and I look over to make sure Silas is noticing this. That I have tamed Madden. I have made a friend .

Silas seems pretty indifferent to the whole thing, apparently not understanding this milestone.

Madden then pushes me off and holds his arms out to Dandelion. "Since we're all hugging."

"Aye, I see that!" Then Dandelion gives me a hug, squeezing the life out of me before delivering the final blow by saying, "At least you've got clothes on this time!" like he's not the one naked half the time!

Someone… anyone… please… end this.

"Did you hug him naked?" Silas asks.

"I… feel like… maybe in one of my delirious states… while you were gone… I might have tried to put different pants on and got so tired that I took a nap break… on top of him," I whisper.

"You poor thing," Madden says.

"Dandelion, you can stay here. I'll come back," I assure him.

"Nah, who are you going to ride if you don't ride me?" Dandelion asks.

Markson, who is witnessing all of this, coughs a little. "Well, Callisto, I'm thrilled you found people as strange as you."

"What? No, I'm normal," I whisper.

"He can't even say it with vigor," Markson says. "We'll get some travel packs ready for all of you. Madden, do you need a mount?"

"He can ride Zepher or Banks," Silas responds.

"I would like a mount," I say before noticing the look of absolute devastation on Dandelion's face. It's like I just told him he wasn't really my son or something. "What… I mean… is that I'd like to see a mount as amazing as my Dandelion… which there are none of… ha?"

Dandelion is scrutinizing me now and when he gives me a single, "Papa?" I feel like the biggest asshole who has ever assholed.

I decide to go the caring route. "Dandelion, are you sure you don't mind me riding on your back? Surely, it'd be more comfortable to run without me, right?"

"No… but if you like someone else more than me… that's fine," he says before shifting into his bestial form, head hanging like I've just rejected him.

With a sigh, I walk over and flop down on him like I had before I found out who he really was. He's pleased, and shows it with a swish of his tail. Clearly, I've been forgiven for my grave error.

With that, we're left to ready our resources, and when dusk hits, Markson leads us to the wall separating the kingdoms.

Then he grabs me and kisses my forehead. "You be safe now, you hear me?"

"I do. I hear you super loud and clear," I assure him.

He seems suspicious but gives me a hug and sends me on my way, right into Vermillion territory.

Thankfully, the multi-day return to the Vermillion capital goes significantly better than running from it. When we arrive, it's well into the day, and we don't want to risk waltzing up to the capital in broad daylight, so we find an old run-down shed big enough for all of us to squeeze into where we sit down to eat before we sleep.

"What's our game plan?" Madden asks as he eyes the food Dandelion brought. When we'd set off, we'd each packed our own satchels. But it soon became quite apparent that Dandelion brought absolutely no clothes with him, and only the finest food from the royal kitchen that would make the trip.

The rest of us are left with travel rations—which is ridiculous when I've known the cooking staff far longer than Dandelion has—and Silas and I are sharing a bird Silas charred. I would be jealous, but Dandelion carried my ass all the way here without complaint, so he shall feast.

"Fuck, that looks good," Madden whispers as Dandelion bites into fresh fruit, juices running over his fingertips. It kind of looks like Madden would be willing to lick Dandelion's fingers clean, judging by the expression he's giving him.

"This is fine," Silas says as he waves toward the food he's caught and cooked for the two of us since Madden doesn't eat meat. Silas assured us that fresh meat would be significantly better than using up all of our rations before we even get to the capital, but I'm not so sure. And Madden is over there chewing on some dried fruit that is apparently quite disgusting, if the look on his face is anything to go by.

"What are you eating?" I ask.

Madden looks down at it. "Fuck if I know. Some dried fruit."

"Looks like a dried-up ball sac," Dandelion says before laughing heartily at our misery.

"Tastes like sadness and desperation," Madden comments.

"Well, umm… I made the mistake of watering Banks and Zepher while Silas got the meat," I say as I crunch my way through the charred bits. I really feel like meat shouldn't flake off when you bite down.

"Excuse me for having to pick an animal that Madden hates and is known for being tough," Silas says, like it isn't his skill at cooking that's the issue.

"He was the dick of the birds. Everyone is happier without him," Madden announces. "Listen to them sing."

The birds do seem quite happy.

"Vicious. I like it," Dandelion says as all three of us finish our measly meals and stare at him. "Oh! Papa, you look hungry."

He plucks me up and sets me on his very naked leg. A part of me knows I should struggle, but the temptation of real food simply makes me cover up the… bits down below with a blanket. I mean… in times of hunger, a man such as myself can't be too greedy.

"That's my blanket," Silas growls.

"Oh yeah?" I ask as I merrily eat the delicious food from where I'm perched on Dandelion's lap. "That really sucks."

"It does suck," Silas grumbles, but I can't tell if it's about the blanket or that I'm now being hand-fed a five-course meal and it is delicious .

"So… what do I have to do to accomplish this?" Madden mutters to Silas.

"Simply save him from a life of slavery, heal his wounds instead of your own after he flays you alive, and cradle him," Silas responds.

"I… see," Madden says. "What if I just like… look really sad?"

"I doubt it'll work."

Madden seems annoyed at me now as he goes, "Your fluff ball just told me the funniest thing."

I eye Titus before seeing if he wants to nibble on the fruit. He never really eats anything I offer him, though, and seems to prefer fluttering around flowers.

"Don't take the bait," Silas says.

"Y-Yeah? What'd Titus say?" I ask as the cute little ball flitters around.

The grin on Madden's face tells me I shouldn't have asked. "He said to tell you that you're a little bitch."

"You took the bait," Silas mutters.

"ME? I'm a little bitch?" I cry. "No! He wouldn't say that. Huh, Titus? You wouldn't say that, would you?"

"He asked me why your voice gets all squeaky like someone's tweaking your nuts when you get fired up," Madden says.

"It does not! Titus! Don't!" I watch as the innocent creature flutters this way and that, pleased as can be. I give him a scratch under what would… kind of be his chin, I assume.

"He said ‘To the left, you squeaky little bitch,'" Madden says.

I hesitate before scratching to the left and the look of pure bliss on Titus's face makes me second-guess everything.

"Silas—" I whisper because isn't this proof? Titus clearly likes this better!

"Titus could have just kindly said he wanted to be scratched on the left and Madden manipulated his words," Silas assures me.

"Ha!" Madden says with so much sass and stubbornness. "Why would I lie?"

I scrutinize the ball of fluff and then Madden and realize that there's no way Titus would sass me like this. Madden's just jealous because he's chewing on what looks like an old seed carcass.

"Are you being mean?" Dandelion asks.

Madden gasps. "No! Am I jealous? Maybe. But I'm not being mean. I'm never mean."

Dandelion grunts and then holds some fresh fruit out to Madden and meat to Silas, who both greedily take the offerings.

"Can I sit on your lap while I eat it?" Madden asks, but Dandelion ignores him and instead fixates on trying to feed me more, even though he's given me plenty.

Banks is outside grazing and Zepher is out hunting… or whatever she's doing, so it's just the four of us crammed in this tiny shed, as well as Titus, who I scrutinize a bit more. He's just so damn cute; there's absolutely no way Madden's telling the truth.

"We should get some sleep," Silas says. "The second it's dark, I want to see what we can find out."

"Got it," I reply as I stifle a yawn. I haven't slept as well since we left the castle. I guess being out here reminds me that back in Langsten, I was able to finally get a taste of what life would be like with Silas by my side, and out here… a single moment could rip that all away.

"Night, Papa," Dandelion says, and then just flops over on his side, pinning me to him like a child's toy.

"Is this the fate I must suffer for being well fed?" I whisper.

"You must suffer it for us all," Silas says.

"Dandelion, what if I like?—"

He squeezes me tighter and immediately falls asleep.

I'd love for him to shift so we could at least sap some warmth off his thick coat, but the area is much too small. So there we are, all four of us crammed in next to each other. Silas, the beautiful man he is, squishes between Dandelion and me, freeing me from the beast's grip. Dandelion doesn't care. He just squeezes Silas to himself as a replacement as I try not to laugh.

"You need to teach him to be less handsy," Silas mutters.

"I feel like I'm being left out," Madden grumbles.

"Call a mouse to snuggle with you," Silas says.

Madden sighs, and like that, the rest of us slowly drift off to sleep.

When I wake, I can tell something is off.

"Shh," Silas says as he presses a hand against me. I can hear him reach over for his sword a moment before the door slowly creaks open. My fingers are itching to call for a vine or something to tear the intruder to the ground. It's too dark to even see who they are, but I really don't think it's one of us. While I can't see Madden, I never heard him wake up, so I feel like it's someone I don't know.

The person leans forward to look through the doorway, and that's when everything goes to hell.

Dandelion fucking explodes , ready to tear the newcomer's head clean off… that is, if the small, cramped room could hold three grown men and a large tiger monster. Silas, who'd been prepared to attack, is knocked back to the ground as Madden yelps and is sent careening toward the door and right into the arms of the man Dandelion's prepared to murder.

He's literally just handed one of our own off to the enemy.

"What the fuck and who are you?" Madden hollers.

"Calm yourself, beast," the man says to Dandelion, voice sounding a bit shaky, but he's doing a pretty good job of holding the cane and Madden, who is horribly confused… I think we all are.

I stuff Dandelion's face out of the way and rush to the doorway. "You're the guy who gave me the coin."

"I am!" he says as Dandelion tries to get through the door at the same time, leaving both of us absolutely scrunched.

With a growl, Dandelion shifts back, depositing me back into the room before tearing Madden out of the older man's hands and putting him in my arms.

"Well… this is rather nice," Madden says, not at all caring about the situation we're in.

Dandelion grabs the fragile old man by the neck as I watch in horror. He's going to snap his bones before we even get to talk to him!

"Dandelion, it's okay! I think… I mean… don't let your guard down, but don't snap his fragile neck!" I cry.

The look Dandelion gives him would make a stronger man shake, but the elderly man just whacks him with his cane.

"Papa, let me murder him," Dandelion pleads.

"No, he will—hopefully—help us."

"If he doesn't then I will murder him." This time it's not even a question.

"We'll debate that later," I say with a smile that Dandelion doesn't look overly certain of.

Putting Madden on the ground, I head for the door again, but before I can reach it, Silas gives me a gentle nudge. "Please be careful."

"I will be," I assure him. When I reach the older man, I pull out the coin. "You gave this to me."

"I sure did."

"Why?" I ask.

"I assumed if you wanted to pretend to be the prince, you could carry the prince's duties."

"What's it do?"

"I guess that's up to you to find out."

"Can I murder him now?" Dandelion asks.

I grumble but decide that we're not to that point yet. "Not yet…"

"How'd the coin get in his pocket after he was attacked?" Silas asks.

"I put it there." The man seems quite pleased by this fact.

I stare at the man in disbelief. "Seriously? You saw me lying there, bleeding to death, and went ‘Let's stick a coin in his pocket instead of helping him, that'll surely save him.'"

The older man laughs as he raises his eyebrow. "Well, you saw my dead body and went, ‘Let's take his shit and his identity,' did you not, Callisto?"