Chapter 22

Chapter

Twenty-Two

CALLISTO

Something wakes me… and weirdly enough, it's not the large naked man with his legs sprawled over the top of me. No, Dandelion seems to have moved in a good while ago, going by the way he's fully asleep. He's over there smothering Silas who looks uncomfortable, even in his sleep. The real question is… how the hell didn't I feel him move in?

No… something else has woken me…

I jump when I see someone peering at me from where they stand on the ladder.

"What the fuck is this?" Silas's friend asks. Only his head is visible, but he's obviously scrutinizing whatever we have going on here. He climbs the rest of the way up while looking at me in disgust, like wearing a naked man over our bodies like a blanket might be at all strange .

"Hmm?" Silas asks, sounding surprised as the guy I'd heard him call Madden reaches the top of the hayloft.

And just like that, Dandelion wakes up and slams into this guy, catching him only by the arm as Madden tries to keep his feet from sliding off and falling down to the barn floor. The tips of his shoes are still on the ledge as Dandelion keeps him suspended over the drop. If Dandelion lets go, Madden won't be able to catch himself.

"I will drop you to the ground and destroy you," he growls as I watch the scene in horror.

"My god, you are so muscular," Madden says, apparently having suffered somewhere in his past to think that this is an appropriate response to someone threatening his life. "Is it weird I'm a little turned on?"

Dandelion tsks and goes to drop him as I rush forward to stop whatever is happening.

"Dandelion, no! He's Silas's friend!" I exclaim, scared Dandelion is just going to chuck him off.

"Then why didn't Silas say anything?" Dandelion asks.

"I was going to until Madden got distracted by your muscles. Then I just felt like it was karma," Silas says. "Maybe a bump to the head will fix him."

Madden laughs, and Dandelion scowls at him as he hauls him back up. Madden looks over at me like he's eyeing me up and then he spits at my feet! "Disgusting," he mutters before hurrying over to Silas. The way he just sidles right up to him, hand on his chest, makes me feel a bit weird. "I brought Banks back. And don't worry, I treated him like the little prince he is… even if he bit me."

"Go apologize to Callisto," Silas says as he waves toward me. I'm just standing here thoroughly confused why this Madden person clearly dislikes me with a passion!

Madden folds his arms over his chest. "I'm not apologizing to him. Are you going to apologize to me for sleeping with two men?"

Silas scoffs. "I haven't slept with two men. And you know extremely well that you are not in love with me. You want to have sex with me. I'm like this thing that you want just because I said no."

"You're like a mythical mountain that I wanna climb," Madden says.

Now I can't stop myself from staring at Madden with super-wide eyes. How the hell am I supposed to compete with that ? He's fucking gorgeous! He's all sexy and shit and doesn't look like death! He's got gorgeous long blond hair that's swept up into a braid that he just pulls off . And I have to assume he's human, but he looks almost elven with how he practically glows. His vibrant blue eyes catch mine before he snubs his nose at me.

"Papa, what do you want me to do with him?" Dandelion asks. "I can fold his body up and toss it down to the pigs to eat. Although they might get sick from that chunk of hair on his head."

Now I'm just horrified. "NO! Dear god, no."

"‘Papa'? I knew you looked old," Madden says snidely, even though he has to be at least ten years older than me, and Dandelion looks to be close to forty.

Now I feel horrified and shocked. Do I really look that old? I guess I haven't washed my hair in a while, and what if I stink and I've been forcing Silas to snuggle with me? How is he not horrified? And is that the smell of roses I was just hit with when Madden turned toward me? Why's he look so damn pretty?

Silas sighs before rubbing his face like he's already had enough. "Why are you so mean, Madden?"

Madden gasps. "I'm mean? He swoops in here and tries to steal what should be rightfully mine," he says as he slides around behind Silas before setting a hand on Silas's chest. It's so fucking smooth ! If I did something like that, I'd look like a fucking creeper, but he did it all sexy-like! It was so skilled! And here I am, having done… uh… hand things… with Silas, and I don't think I even touched him! I was over here like "What are hands? How do hands go on penis? How do hands rub?" and Madden's just feeling him up with a fucking audience!

Silas sighs again and smacks Madden's hand off his shirt as I'm left gaping at them and questioning all of my prior life choices!

"I am not rightfully yours ," Silas growls. "We need to get going."

"Where are we going?" Madden asks. "There are shovels here. I can start digging. Not that the evil fae prince even deserves a grave after all his people have done to us. They sure wouldn't grace us with one."

It takes me far too long to realize that he's over here thinking about how to dig a hole to place me in. He doesn't need to dig it! At this point, I'm willing to help! First, I fucking romp around on a grown man's back for days, maul him, kiss him, call him my baby and tell him I'm his papa, and then I lay there like a fucking log when Silas finally does touch me! I will merrily dig my own grave.

Silas waves him off. "Madden, Callisto isn't the real prince."

Madden stares at me for a long moment. I'm not sure how much more staring I can take before I just keel over.

"Explain. And if this is just an excuse to try to get me to like him, it won't work. Those fae royalty are murderers and conmen, only out to care for their own."

Silas shakes his head. "There's no time to explain because we want to leave. We'll explain later."

"I've still chosen not to like him," Madden decides.

"Of course you have. But I'm not lying. He's not the prince, and he's not royalty."

Madden scrutinizes me. "Sure looks like royalty. Now where are we going, Silas?"

"You're not going."

"Where are we going?"

"To… Langsten."

That stops Madden's cocky and obnoxious attitude. "Oh shit… what are you doing over there? A revolt?"

Silas looks pained as he says, "No… we're going… to… talk to the military advisor and… maybe court."

Madden nods vigorously, like he understands, before he mimes running a finger over his throat. "‘Talk.'" And then he winks a bunch.

Silas shakes his head. "No, literally talk."

"But like…" He mimes his head falling off before winking some more. "‘Talk.'"

Silas just sighs before he starts gathering his things as Madden walks over to me, making me nervous.

I decide that I will gather up all of my insecurities and embarrassments and toss them as far from me as I can. In exchange, I'll use my charm and befriend this man. "Hi, it's really nice to meet a friend of Silas's. I'm looking forward to getting to know you."

Madden doesn't look impressed at all . "Eh," is all he says and for some reason, it hits me worse than if he'd said something shitty to me!

"When he acts like this, he's not my friend," Silas corrects.

"I've acted perfect," Madden declares.

"I'm… unsure of how to react," I realize.

"Can I eat a chicken now?" Dandelion asks. I don't know why I'm so relieved by the interruption, but I could almost feed him a chicken just as a thanks.

"No, we'll find you something. We don't want to take something from the farmer," I say.

Dandelion growls, not pleased with this as I decide to quickly pack up since it seems like the faster I do that, the faster I can get out of this awkward situation.

"Well, it was… something seeing you, Madden; we'll be on our way," Silas announces.

"Oh no, no, I will be going with you," Madden decides.

I try to not look horrified by this.

"No," Silas says, and I vote we stay with that decision.

Madden stands strong. "You have no choice, Silas. I must protect you. Who knows what this treacherous, lust-filled man wants to do with you. You really think he's taking you to the border with good intentions?"

"I'm not a bad person," I whisper.

"He can't even say that with conviction!"

I open my mouth to insist that I'm not a bad person when Dandelion stuffs his saddle in my hands. "I'm not putting that back on you."

Dandelion looks confused before he seems to get it. "Ah, you want to feel your ass right on my back? Eh, that's fine," he says as he just hops out of the hayloft absolutely naked and lands on the ground with ease before strutting outside.

"Damn, he's fine," Madden says. "Good job, Silas."

"Why the fuck does he get a ‘good job,' but you hate me?" I ask in disbelief.

Madden ignores me like I didn't even speak at all, just grabs Silas's bags for him. "Here, allow me to help you, unlike others."

I look at my empty hands before realizing he's speaking about me.

"Callisto is hurt, he's prohibited from carrying anything," Silas says, not at all caring that Madden is carrying it all.

"I'll go down first so I can see your ass. Or would you like me to go down after you so you can see my ass?" Madden asks, which means that Silas waves me after Madden.

Of course he's glowering at me, like I've caused this.

"Your ass is so flat. Is there even an ass in there?" Madden asks.

"Why are you so mean?" I ask.

"I was born mean," he decides as he reaches the first floor and pets a horse before getting in close to it. "They did what ?" He seems to listen for a moment before gasping. "Oh noooooo. And he just lay there like a fish out of water?"

Fucking hell! "I did not!" I cry.

"What is even happening?" Silas asks. "If you are picking on Callisto again, I'm kicking your ass out of the group."

"Well, I don't trust him! He's a conniving fae," Madden mutters.

Quickly, I rush outside to where Dandelion is chowing on an apple before throwing the core at Madden for no reason at all. It kind of makes me feel a little better. It smacks Madden right in the chest and he lets out some weird moan thing. "Why was that so sexy?" Madden asks. I bet he even knows how to moan better than me! What the hell kind of noises was I making? I don't even remember but I'm sure they were horrible!

Oblivious, Dandelion chucks another apple at him.

What the hell? He can throw shit at him, Silas can bark at him, and I'm the bad guy?

"Callisto… you're showing your emotions," Silas says as he points at the ground where I've just murdered all of the plant life in the area.

"No! Dammit," I cry as I try to revive it. I revive it too hard and now there's just a giant patch of grass that's knee high.

"Don't worry about Madden. You have to understand that… he has… some pretty hard feelings when it comes to the fae, and they aren't all unjustified. A lot of shit has happened. He'll warm up to you," Silas assures me.

Sighing, I hurry over to the mounts before realizing… I don't have a mount!

"Silas, I'll need to ride with you until we get out of this area, and I can call one for myself," Madden says.

"Sounds horrible. Ride with Callisto. Dandelion can carry two people," Silas says, which makes me wonder if he's mad at me for some reason! Why else would he make me ride with that man?

"I don't have anything to ride," I hiss.

"What the fuck do you mean? You can ride me," Dandelion says. "You and Silas rode me every day last week."

Madden's shocked face fixates on Silas. "You… you rode him and I didn't get to watch?"

Silas just sighs as he hurries over to where Banks is eating an apple that'd fallen out of the tree. "Hey, buddy. Did he take good enough care of you? Sorry I was gone so long," he says as he scratches Banks's neck while Madden is over here having heart palpitations judging from the way he's holding his chest.

"You can't ride me. I don't like you. You're rude to my papa," Dandelion declares.

"Every jab you make at me makes me want you harder," Madden says.

"It's true. He wasn't even interested in me until I told him he could never have me," Silas comments.

"I… I'll walk," I decide, positive nothing will get me onto Dandelion's back.

"Nah, I like it when you ride me. You do not have permission to ride anything else. Only me," Dandelion insists.

"My legs… yearn for walking," I say.

"Ride me," Dandelion demands.

"Is this sexy? Is this confusing? I don't know," Madden says as Silas leads Banks over to us.

"Callisto, you might as well ride him. Look how eager he is for it," Silas says.

I want to crawl into a hole where I will live. "Where's that shovel?"

"You going to bury Madden?" Silas asks.

"Myself."

"Oh, then I can't help."

I sigh, and when Dandelion shifts to his beast form, Madden jumps back before looking disappointed. "Dammit, I was all excited for nothing. I forgot you had that shifting dude with you."

"Wait, you knew he was a person?" Silas asks.

"Well yeah, his mind's not the same as an animal's," he says. "I mean, I can still talk to him in this form, but he just tells me to fuck off. Oh. My… did you two…" He covers his mouth before giggling . "Did you two think he was an animal? How embarrassing! That is the most embarrassing thing I've ever heard! You were treating him like an animal! How sad. I bet you two did embarrassing stuff in front of him as well while forcing this poor thing to watch."

"I'll get the shovel," I decide, which makes Silas laugh.

I start walking, too horrified to grace Dandelion's back with my ass, but he grabs my arm in his mouth. "Oh, thank you, thank you. But I cannot."

"Get on the damn man. You ride that man," Silas says as he snatches me up and throws me onto Dandelion's back.

"I'm dying inside," I whisper.

"You two are way past the awkward stage," Silas tells me. "You've rubbed his belly, given him kisses, and rolled all over him."

"Stop reminding me," I whisper as Silas gets on Banks. He quickly tries to leave but before he can, Madden clambers up behind him.

"You're too heavy for him," Silas says.

Madden wraps his arms around Silas. "I am not! Banks said I'm not too heavy for him. And he's not a regular mule anyway! He said he likes carrying me."

"You're killing shit again," Silas cautions as I look at the ground and realize I've murdered even more of this poor farmer's land!

I quickly revitalize it before Dandelion follows him.

"Oh, I always feel so safe in your arms," Madden says even as Silas pries his hands off him.

"Stop being obnoxious, or you can walk. And Banks doesn't want to carry both of our asses."

"He's a damn magical mule! He can carry us both and then some!"

"Don't tell me he turns into a human too," I whisper.

"He does not," Silas assures me. "He's just not your standard mule. He can run faster and carry more weight than a standard mule. More stamina too."

"We're not far from the border… are you sure all of you want to follow me?" I ask, scared that Silas will realize that he really doesn't need to follow because there are much better avenues to go down. But he gives me a shrug.

"I've committed now, whether I want to or not," he says. "And you are going to prove all of my doubts wrong."

"Okay," I agree, honestly a bit nervous about it.

Once we reach the woods, Silas demands Madden find his own mount. While he does that, Markson's red bird flutters down and lands on my hand. I grab the parchment he's providing me.

They've caught wind that you're crossing the border. You need to run. We'll hold them off until you get over here. You should be safe on Langsten land.

"Markson says they're getting close to us and know we're planning to cross. He needs us to run."

"Okay," Silas responds as Madden tries to convince some elk-looking thing to let him ride on its back. It doesn't seem overly sure, but Madden manages to get on it where it proceeds to hop and buck as Silas laughs.

"Madden, I forgot how well your magic worked," Silas says.

"Shut… your… pretty… mouth," he growls as he's thrown all around the place. He's honestly quite talented at hanging on, so I'm regrettably impressed.

"What is his magic?" I ask.

"He has a connection to animals. He can talk to them, call them, and also see through their eyes. But some of the more stubborn ones treat him like this," he answers as Madden goes flying through the air and lands on the ground as the elk bounds off.

"Hurry up, I'll just drag you behind Banks," Silas says.

"No! No, I sense a horse. Come to me, horsey," Madden says as we impatiently wait while a horse is called onto the scene. He apparently didn't realize that there was a goddamn Vermillion military captain on its back when he whisked it over to us.

"Did you literally guide the enemy's horse to us?" Silas asks in disbelief as Madden runs for him and Banks.

"MAYBE? It's possible but probably not! I'm sure it's fine!" he calls as an arrow tears through the sleeve of his shirt. "I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! Silas, saaaave meeee."

Silas drags him on as Dandelion bolts, leading the way. Banks proves he's really no regular mule as he manages to keep up with Dandelion despite having Silas and a cursing Madden on his back.

"They nearly killed me!"

"Then you shouldn't have called them to us!" Silas yells.

"Kill them for me! This is my favorite outfit which they've destroyed. It's all destroyed."

"You should have thought of that before leading a damn captain to us!"

"Sometimes we can't all be perfect like you," Madden retorts as Silas ducks a branch that nearly knocks Madden off Banks.

"Duck," Silas says a full minute too late.

"You're trying to kill me!" Madden cries.

"Nah, I don't dislike you that much. Just a little."

That's when I see where we need to go. "Dandelion, you see that bridge there? On the other side of it is a wall, but Markson will have it open for us. You just have to get to it."

"And ignore the army following us," Silas says, making me turn to look… before wishing I hadn't.

Dandelion's claws sink in hard as he rushes toward the large bridge that stretches across the drop down to the chasm below. Banks's hooves clatter across the wood a moment before I feel the bridge begin to quiver. There's no way we're too heavy for it. No… someone is manipulating it.

"Madden, jump," Silas yells as he pushes Banks up beside Dandelion and shoves the man at me. Madden practically falls onto me and I grip him tightly as the heavy wood the bridge had been made of begins to turn green and rot away.

Dandelion lunges forward as I reach back for Silas. "Silas!"

"I'm fine," he calls as he points up. I don't know what the hell he's pointing at, but what I do know is I'm nearly unseated and might have been if it hadn't been for Madden pinning me to him as Dandelion jumps while the bridge gives way. There's no way Banks could make that jump. There's no way Banks could ever reach us. Why didn't Silas jump to us as well? Was he afraid his weight would drive Dandelion down?

Dandelion's front end hits the edge and he scrambles up with ease. "Silas!" I shout, but Dandelion rushes through the wall that immediately reforms behind us, cutting me off from Silas.

I jump off Dandelion and turn as I yell, "Silas," a moment before I slam right into the man.

"Hey, I'm fine," he says as he steadies me.

A mixture of anxiety, fear, and relief churns through me as I stare at him. "Where the fuck did you come from? I thought you were going to die and…"

He points up at the wyvern as she drops Banks who looks bored out of his mind, not at all aware they nearly died.

"I… thought you fell," I say as I grab him in a hug. "I thought you fell and were going to die, and I couldn't do anything."

"I pointed up at Zepher so you'd know."

"Well, I didn't see her!"

"You didn't see the hulking wyvern?" he asks.

How could I when my eyes were only on him? "NO!" I bury my face into his chest until I hear someone clear their throat and quickly pull back.