CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

It was eleven when my phone rang from inside my locker. I’d just finished showering after training when I heard it buzzing against the metal door. I swiped the screen, my fiancée’s name popping up.

That felt good. Somehow, I’d made Circe Johansen mine, and it felt like winning the lottery. Every morning, I got up and had to resist the urge to congratulate myself in the mirror.

I tapped the speaker button and reached for my clothes. “Hey, butterfly.”

“Hey,” she said, her voice hesitant. “I changed my mind.”

“About?”

“The country club. Both my father and I want you there for lunch.”

I narrowed my eyes, fastening my belt. “When?”

“Today. Is that okay?”

Part of me wanted to say I didn’t think it was a good idea, but my heart couldn’t deny her anything.

“Of course. I’ll be there in fifteen.”

When I got back to the apartment, the old Circe was firmly in place. She stepped out of the bathroom in a tight seersucker dress with delicate purple flowers all over it. Her long legs ended in a demure pair of heels. The only thing that was different was the jewelry.

A little anklet on her leg. Her ring weighing down her finger. Her neck and wrists glittering with my jewelry.

My dick woke up, thinking about the only piece that wasn’t visible. Between her thighs, under her silk panties, was the diamond I’d given her to wear on her pussy.

She stood on her toes and kissed me discreetly so she wouldn’t ruin her lipstick.

“Thank you for coming,” she said. “I know it’s not what you want to do.”

“I’d rather do you,” I said, taking her hand and spinning her so I could get a good look. “But it’s eleven thirty, so I’ll wait for tonight.”

She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “Wear something nice, please.”

“I was going to wear my uniform.”

Her eyes widened. “Could you not?”

“I’m joking, sweetheart.” I spanked her ass as I walked by and went into the bedroom. I had a nice, light gray suit that worked well for summertime. She lingered in the door, arms crossed, while I put on the pants, shoes, and white shirt. That was as good as it was going to get. Not even her father could get me to put a suit jacket on.

“Good?” I asked, smoothing back my hair.

She bit her lip.

“You look really good,” she said, her voice breathy. “Roll your sleeves up a little. I like it.”

Her eyes followed my every move as I obeyed, rolling them to just below my elbow. Then, she went to the dresser and slid open the top drawer. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her either, watching her felt like a gift I couldn’t get enough of. She was everything I would never be, and I was fine with that now.

We were two different people from two different walks of life, but when it was just us, stripped back, we fit together perfectly.

Her body was made to lay beside mine.

She returned, this time stopping when our bodies were inches apart. Then, she lifted my hand and put something in my palm. It took me a second to drag my eyes from her face to look down.

It was a silver watch. I didn’t know much about expensive watches, but I could tell this one was worth something. I shifted it, flipping it over, and my heart stopped.

To my love, Caden Llwyd.

My throat was dust dry. I glanced down at her, and she was waiting, her eyes wary, clearly worried about my reaction. When I didn’t say anything, she reached for the watch, but I closed my hand over it.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have had that engraved,” she said. “I just…I looked you up and found out that Payne was your stepfather’s name. And…I felt awkward having it engraved. So I just put your family name there. I’ll have it fixed.”

I shook my head. “No, don’t.”

She chewed her lip hard. “What’s wrong?”

I flipped the watch over and over. “Nothing. It just never occurred to me that I could drop his last name. It’s something I’ll need to give some thought to.”

She reached for it again. “I’ll have it removed.”

I let her take it but kept my hand extended so she could secure it for me. She hesitated and then slowly slipped it over my wrist and tightened the strap.

“Don’t remove it,” I said. “I’d rather it be my Welsh name, even if I don’t change it. And this will be our children’s name unless you disagree.”

She shook her head, smiling shakily. “I’d like my children to have your family name. It’s really lovely.”

“It is,” I agreed quietly. “And my father is a good man. His family are good people.”

“I’ve never met his aunts, Daphne and Ophelia,” she said. “I’d like to.”

“I’m sure they’re begging Merrick to meet you already.” I bent and kissed her forehead. “Let’s get married first. And before we do that, let’s go fix all this shit with your father, alright?”

She nodded, tilting her head back. I kissed her, taking my time because my throat felt oddly lumpy. When I pulled back, I’d gotten it together. She offered a sweet smile, and I tapped her on the chin.

“Thank you,” I said.

What I didn’t tell her was that this was the first real gift I’d ever been given. My mother and stepfather never celebrated birthdays or holidays, and Merrick wouldn’t have dared to give me anything when I was in my denial phase. Somehow, it made it mean even more that she was the first person to give me something, especially something made custom.

I kissed her again then spun her around and spanked her ass so she wouldn’t see how I really felt.

I was still getting used to sharing the vulnerable parts of myself.

She wanted to take her car, so I helped her into the passenger side. To my surprise, she didn’t ask me to roll the top up. I drove feeling like the luckiest man in the world, unable to keep my eyes off her. She was gorgeous, dark hair whipping in the wind as we cruised down the road.

I hadn’t realized it until today, but she was different since everything had fallen apart.

Her shoulders were more relaxed. Her skin was suntanned, her eyes sparkled. She laughed, smiled more. Even though the future was unsure when it came to her career, her entire being was lighter.

A slow realization sank in. My hand gripped her thigh.

For the first time in my life, I was good for someone.

Which meant…I was healing.

“You okay?” she asked.

I glanced over, glad I was wearing sunglasses. “Better than okay.”

We pulled up outside the country club a few minutes later, and my mood had done a one-eighty. This wasn’t my scene. It was my father’s world, at least the one he showed to the public. Clara fit in here, with her jewels and ability to talk about nothing for hours, but I didn’t look or sound like any of the people here.

But she had crossed into my universe. I could do the same for her.

I opened her door, and Circe let me help her out. She had a little mauve handbag that looked like it wouldn’t fit anything, and she held it primly in her hand, her other hand tucked in mine as we headed up the walkway.

“It smells like hyacinths,” she said.

“Does it?”

She nodded. “One of my earliest memories is that smell. My father took me here every Sunday after church.”

I glanced over, surprised. “You go to church?”

She shrugged. “We did for a while, but it was more of a social status thing for my father. Then, the church we went to shut down.”

I stroked her knuckle with my thumb. “I feel like there’s a lot we don’t know about each other.”

She smiled. “We’ve been busy.”

I pulled open the door, my hand on her lower back. “Starting tomorrow, I have a lifetime to learn everything else.”

She gave me a look, a sweet smile and a flutter of her lashes. I noticed when she felt safe, she let herself be softer. It felt like a privilege that she was soft with me.

Inside came the gentle flurry of iced tea glasses clinking and soft laughter. Fans whirred overhead, the air sweet like hyacinths and salty like oysters. There was a distinct scent of money, of boredom. Of everything I wasn’t.

Her hand tightened, and I followed her eyes to the table on the far side, in the golden glow of the afternoon sun.

Her father sat on the left side of the four-person table. On his left was Delaney, wearing a demure linen sundress. She looked older, and it took me a moment to realize that she’d taken out her septum piercing.

“I don’t know about this,” Circe whispered.

I bent, my mouth by her ear. “I’ve got you, sweetheart. Just tap my leg if you want me to take you home. I won’t let anyone disrespect you.”

She nodded, sending me a grateful look. I led her across the room as her father rose. There was an awkward moment where they looked at each other before her father stepped forward and pulled her into his arms, and I saw her shoulders quiver. They hugged for a long time. I sank down and gave Delaney an awkward nod.

Lukas murmured something to her, and she laughed weakly. They broke apart, and I pulled Circe’s chair out, helping her to sit next to me. Her father sank down, and everyone looked away while he wiped his eyes.

“Hey,” Circe said, looking directly at Delaney.

“Hey,” Delaney whispered.

There was an awkward silence. I cleared my throat.

“Maybe we should get some drinks?” I said.

“Yes, of course,” Lukas said, pulling the menu from beneath his napkin. He held it out to me. “They’ve got a great Japanese whiskey.”

“I’d like an Aperol Spritz,” Circe said.

The server appeared, and it wasn’t long before everyone had drinks and the atmosphere eased. Not a lot, but enough we all got to the end without an argument. I wasn’t sure why I was here or what the point of this was, except to prove we could all make small talk together. I stayed civil with Lukas in the same way I had before. Delaney and Circe chatted about Providence and their mutual social scene.

An hour later, Lukas stretched and sat up. “Well, I’d better get back to the office. Before we go, I’d like to have a private word with you, Caden.”

I caught a strain of ice in his voice. “Fine by me.”

Circe stared after me with perfectly round eyes as I followed Lukas to the bar. He leaned on the counter and released a short sigh.

“I don’t like you, Caden,” he said. “I never have. You’re not who I want my daughter to be with. But for the sake of keeping her in my life, I can be civil with you.”

“The sentiment is mutual,” I said. “I’ve got no interest in being your friend.”

“Good,” he said.

“I’m glad we’re in agreement.”

He let out another sigh, like he was trying to swallow something particularly bitter. “Circe will remain my sole heir. However, she texted me on the way here and let me know she is resigning from Johansen Enterprises, which is for the best. I can’t have her working in my company when she’s with the son of my competitor.”

“She intends to strike out on her own,” I said. “I think she’ll do well.”

“She does well at everything she attempts.”

“She does.”

The corner of his mouth turned up. “We have some common ground. We both love her.”

“That’s true,” I said. “I might not like you, but you love your daughter. That’s enough to afford you my respect.”

“That’s all I’m asking for,” he said, his mouth returning to a grim line.

“That’s not all I want.” I squared my shoulders. “I want the deal back, but this time, without the shared base. You owe it to me.”

I’d expected to get angry, but he sighed. “I thought you might ask for that. I just hope you’re not using my daughter as leverage.”

“This has nothing to do with Circe,” I said, annoyed. “This is about honor.”

His jaw worked, eyes narrowed. “Fine,” he said. “But I want something.”

“You’re not in a position to bargain,” I said.

“I’m a businessman. Of course I’m bargaining. I want you to train the men who train my security. If you do that, I’ll enter into a non-compete agreement in the areas where we both work, and you will receive the funding you need.”

I frowned. “Why? You want me working with your men?”

He ground his jaw, like it hurt him to speak. “My men have never been trained the way you had them training. Share that with us, and you get what you want.”

I studied him. I knew he wasn’t going to sign the check without getting something in return. I didn’t want to get myself into another deal with Johansen Enterprises but, this time, I did have the protection of being his son-in-law, the father of his future grandchildren. There was only so much he could do to me without angering Circe.

“Alright,” I said. “So long as Merrick agrees, I’ll do it.”

He held out his hand. I hesitated and then shook it. We both let go quickly.

“I think you should speak with your daughter alone, later,” I said. “I want her to feel this rift is fully healed so she can move forward.”

“I will,” he said.

We didn’t have anything else to say to each other. Despite our differences, it was clear to me we understood each other. We would be cordial when our paths crossed, but we’d never be close.

But he had gained a bit of my respect today. Not much, but I knew it took a lot for him to swallow his pride and meet with me. In many ways, we weren’t so different. Maybe, in another life, Lukas would have led an army too.

Circe and Delaney stood by the window, less than a foot from each other. I could tell they were both trying not to cry. Circe kept shaking her hair back and blinking, laughing awkwardly. To my relief, when they parted, it was with a quick hug.

In the car, I passed her a tissue. “Are you alright, butterfly?”

She sniffed, nodding. “Yeah, I just…don’t want things to change. I mean, I do, but I didn’t want it like this.”

“Are things fixed with Delaney?”

She looked down at her lap. “They’re fixed, but it still feels weird. I think we just moved on from what we were before, but if she’s happy with my father, I don’t want to stand in the way of that. I don’t think she meant to hurt me.”

There was a long silence before she intertwined her fingers with mine.

“I don’t have a grudge against anyone,” she said, sinking back into her seat. “We all just grew up. Things changed.”

“You don’t resent her? Some people might hate her, in your shoes.”

She shook her head. “No, I couldn’t hate Delaney.”

There was a quiet ache in my chest as we drove home. Circe was strong, resilient and resourceful, but she was also kind, much kinder and sweeter than I deserved.

That night, after she was asleep, I lay awake for a long time. Sitting up against the pillows, moonlight a pool over the bed. She slept soundly, naked and half covered by the sheet.

We’d slept together after I got home from work, after we’d had takeout at the kitchen table.

It hadn’t been like the sex I’d had before knowing her. It was familiar, casual, like the quick kiss she gave me when she was going to be late. I had slid into bed beside her, she’d pushed her ass into me, and we had a quickie without speaking. Then, we both passed out.

It was wonderfully domestic.

I woke up fifteen minutes later, stirred by someone driving a motorcycle down the street. In a flash, the sound woke a sudden realization in my heart.

I hadn’t sleepwalked since that night, not since she started sleeping in my bed. I got up to make a note in my phone to mention that to Gretchen, even though I wasn’t worried about it.

There was a lot I’d previously worried about that no longer bothered me.

Having a woman who loved me, a name for what was going on with my brain, and a future had given me stability. I had hope now.

But more than that, I had people to lean on who cared about me.

It took me a while to fall asleep, but not because I was upset. When I finally did wake in the early morning, my heart was still pumping hard. I rolled onto my side to find her side of the bed empty. The shower ran from the other side of the bathroom door, and everything smelled faintly like hyacinths.

I smiled, deeply satisfied in every way for the first time in my life.

Today was my wedding day.