CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

I wasn’t prepared for what living with Caden would actually be like. I was used to structure and working hard, but not the way Caden was. He moved through life like he was powered by a relentless motor. His body was strong and could go for hours. His mind was brutally sharp, wickedly dark, but still so soft for me when it was just us.

He moved fast and hard.

Unexpectedly, I ground to a halt.

From my first moment, my father had pushed me to succeed. I’d jumped out of bed every morning eager to please and went to bed at night feeling like I hadn’t done enough. Now, there were no expectations of me. If I chose to stay in bed all day and read, Caden didn’t care as long as I was happy.

All my drive dissipated. I found myself getting listless.

I missed my office, missed my friends. Delaney hadn’t reached out to me, and I was ignoring Emmy’s forty-eight phone calls a week. I didn’t want to bad-mouth Delaney to our mutual friends, so I just shut down. Maybe I just didn’t understand. After all, I’d fallen for someone I wasn’t supposed to have.

Why was she any different?

But the wound still hurt, especially when my father was texting every night, begging for me to call him back. I didn’t tell Caden, but I could tell he knew. He saw me turn my phone off and tuck it into the bedside table when he got in from work.

The only solace I found was with Caden.

When he wasn’t working, he took me out of the apartment whether I liked it or not. We met up with Clara and Merrick on the weekends for the next month. I’d never experienced the kind of luxury they lived—we’d always had money, but we never used it for anything enjoyable. We’d rarely gone out except to network, but Merrick took Clara out for pure pleasure.

I was fascinated by them. It was clear Merrick was hopelessly enamored by his wife, and she was in awe of him. He kept her glittering with diamonds, and she looked at him like he’d hung the moon and stars.

A few weeks later, Caden and I started going along with them. We took the sailboat out, ate at restaurants along the coast, stayed in Merrick’s new hotels. Clara and I connected easily. She was sweet and cheerful, and we spent a lot of time together while Caden and Merrick conferred in low voices at the bar.

That was one part of the Welsh organization that ground my gears.

I didn’t want to be infantilized, and these men didn’t believe in letting women into the business side of their operation.

“Does it bother you?” I asked Clara one day.

We were staying at a hotel on an island off the coast. It was scorching hot outside, so we’d both sought refuge on the shaded balcony of the restaurant. Clara was curled up in a berry pink bikini with matching sunglasses and, for some reason, her entire set of engagement jewelry. That was another thing I was getting used to. Apparently, not wearing the jewelry often enough was seen as strange.

I wore only my engagement ring. I wasn’t quite acclimated yet.

“Does what bother me?” Clara asked, glancing over the rim of her margarita.

I glanced across the restaurant to where Merrick stood with Caden, both speaking quietly in Welsh.

“Being on the outside,” I said.

She shook her head. “I don’t care to be on the inside of the organization’s operations.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “It’s not interesting to me; it’s a bit boring, honestly. And I don’t feel the need to know just for the sake of knowing. That’s not my concern, even as Merrick’s wife.”

I took a sip of my drink—a fruit punch flavored blended drink with sweet rum. “What is your job? What’s my job supposed to be after I marry Caden?”

Clara sighed, pushing her sunglasses up. “I manage Merrick’s social schedule outside of work. He’s incredibly busy, and I know him better than anyone, so I know what’s important to him.”

“I love Caden, but I don’t think I can do that for him,” I said slowly.

“That’s just what I chose,” she said. “I’m social. I enjoy being his wife.”

I stayed quiet, trying to wrap my head around her confidence. All my life, I’d been told that my value was in business. How much money I brought in was a direct result of what I was worth as a woman. But here Clara was, telling me that meant nothing to her.

“Do you ever feel…anxious? About not having your own money?”

She let her head fall back, laughing. “Oh, I have money. My job is to manage Merrick’s home, his schedule, and his personal image. He pays me for that, and I have a separate bank account that’s in my name only.”

My brows shot up. “Really?”

She shrugged, like it should be obvious. “Of course, I don’t work for free. Being the Welsh Brenin’s wife is work. On weekends, he spoils me like it’s his full-time job, but during the week I do a lot of management and networking for him. It took a lot off his plate when we married.”

“What do you mean exactly?”

She waved a hand at the restaurant. “This chain of hotels was one of Merrick’s biggest business investments in the last year. I met the woman married to the builder at a party. We went out to lunch the next day, and by the end of the week, I had a deal for Merrick.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” I said slowly. “But I don’t think I can do that for Caden.”

“Caden’s not a businessman,” she said. “He’s a soldier.”

I chewed my lip listlessly. “I don’t know where that leaves me.”

She leaned in, setting her empty cup aside as her dark eyes fixed on mine.

“Wherever you want to be,” she said. “You have money, you have experience. Start your own company or go work for whoever you want. You’re Circe Johansen.”

My brain had been turning a mile a minute since the night I told Caden my father was going to betray him. In a single second, it ground to a halt. All the boiling emotions I’d kept tamped down stopped bubbling.

She was right.

I didn’t need my father or his business.

I was my own person.

A smile broke over my face that I couldn”t bite back. Clara’s brows lifted, and she gave me an expectant look.

“Did it just hit you?”

“Yeah,” I said, sitting up breathlessly. “I have the resumé. I can take care of myself.”

Clara reached out and took my hand, squeezing it.

“You can,” she said. “But I just want to remind you, you don’t always have to. You’ve got someone who’s happy to take care of you when you need a break.”

She patted my arm and got up, padding across the room in just her bikini. I smiled, wishing I had that kind of confidence. She moved past the bar, and I caught her glance back at her husband and the subtle shake of her hair. He dropped his conversation with Caden instantly, turning on his heel to chase after her.

Impressed, I got up and leaned on the railing. It didn’t take long for Caden’s presence to fill my space and his hand to rest on my lower back as his mouth grazed the freckles on my neck.

“You look good,” he murmured.

I glanced down at my modest one piece. “Thank you.”

“Want to go upstairs? Maybe take a nap?”

I turned in his arms, looking up at his heartbreakingly handsome face. His eyes were obscured by dark glasses, but I knew he was gazing into mine. “Why do I have a feeling there’s no sleeping involved?”

“Because we’re still in the honeymoon phase, butterfly,” he said.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Not to me.” He shrugged. “I want to honeymoon with you before and after the wedding.”

“Is it appropriate to honeymoon while on a weekend vacation with your father and his wife?”

He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me off the balcony. I barely had time to grab my purse from the table before he was ushering me into the hall. The minute we were alone, his hand came down on my ass, sending a shock of pain and arousal through my hips.

“Hey,” I yelped, darting ahead of him.

“You fucking love it,” he growled, catching up to me.

We didn’t resurface until dinner time. The four of us ate at the restaurant in the outdoor seating overlooking the beach. The sun set, casting long shadows over the tables. The staff lit torches, and the air filled with the sharp scent of citronella, mingling with the fried food and beer. We ate until we were full and drank until our heads spun. Even Clara and Merrick, who weren’t big drinkers, indulged themselves.

Upstairs, Caden was ragingly horny. Clara and Merrick were staying in the room next to ours, and there was nothing more horrifying to me than my future father-in-law hearing us. We fucked in the bathroom because it was the furthest point from their room, but the minute our bodies touched the bed, he was sliding between my thighs again.

“Caden, you have to be quiet,” I begged.

He pushed his cock into my aching pussy, filling me until my eyes rolled back.

“Maybe I’ll switch rooms tomorrow,” he groaned.

“No, that’s so obvious.”

He drew back and slammed into me, sending the bed thumping into the wall.

“Caden!”

“Do you think that people don’t know we fuck?” he panted.

“Please,” I begged.

He pulled his dick out of me, rolling onto his back. “Please, you know they’re on the other side of wall doing the same thing.”

I jumped up, scowling. “That’s enough. I’m getting some water; do you want anything?”

He shook his head, watching me with a smirk as I padded out of the room and into the kitchen. I was filling a glass with ice and water when I heard it: a soft thump, followed by muffled laughter. Then—thump, thump, thump.

Oh God, that was the bed hitting the wall in Merrick and Clara’s room. Horrified, I grabbed my glass and scurried into the bedroom. Caden took one look at my shocked face and smirked.

“I was right,” he drawled.

“Okay, you win this time,” I said, setting my drink aside and straddling his waist. “And you can fuck me however you like. Apparently, no one has any shame.”

He bucked me off and flipped me onto my stomach, pushing a pillow under my hips and thighs. His cock pushed between my legs, entering me in one, slow thrust, filling me with his hard warmth.

“I’ve spent my life drowning in shame,” he said. “Not anymore.”

He dug his hands in my hair and closed his fist, holding my head back. His teeth grazed my shoulder as he slid out and thrust back in, dragging his piercing over my inner muscles, making me clench.

“Fuck, that’s right,” he rasped. “You take the whole fucking thing, butterfly. I want you to feel it when you sit down tomorrow.”

He made good on his promise. When we went to join Merrick and Clara for breakfast along the beach, I had to bite my lip to keep from gasping when I sank down. Caden didn’t look at me, but I saw his smirk. He knew I still felt him inside me, and he was proud of it.

I took my hat off, fanning my face.

“Late night?” Clara asked cheerily.

“No, we fell asleep pretty early,” Caden said, stretching his legs out under the table and crossing his arms.

“We did too,” said Merrick. “Vacation does that to you. Ready to head home tonight?”

“I am,” I cut in. “I think I’d like to get moving on some work in the city tomorrow morning. I’m ready.”

Caden took off his sunglasses, fixing his cobalt eyes on me. “What work?”

I glanced over at Clara, and she gave me an encouraging nod.

“I was thinking about doing something independently of Johansen Enterprises,” I said, surprised by how good the words sounded. “A new job or company.”

“Doing what?” Merrick asked.

“Consulting,” I said. “When I went into Johansen Enterprises, they had a horrible turnover problem. I came up with a new employee handbook, set up a new system so employees felt like they were getting what they put into the job, and our turnover dropped by eighty-six percent in the first year.”

“That’s impressive,” Merrick said. “How about you work for me? I have turnover problems for some of my businesses that could be looked into, and I need someone with management experience for the operational side of the new hotel chain.”

“I don’t know about that,” Caden said.

“Actually, that might not be a bad way to get my feet wet,” I said. “Send me the job description, and I’ll send in my resumé.”

Merrick laughed. “I don’t need your resumé; I know your work history. You’re hired if you want it.”

Caden’s brows shot up, but I ignored him. “Done,” I said, leaning forward and shaking his hand. “But only for a year or so. Then I get to branch off and do my own thing.”

“Fine by me,” said Merrick.

On the way home, I turned to Caden. “Would you rather I not work for you father?”

He glanced over, putting his hand on my thigh. “No, I don’t mind as long as it’s purely business. I don’t want you getting caught up in anything that could hurt you. Organization business is off limits.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, sir.”

He squeezed my leg. “Good girl.”

We drove down the coast in silence, the golden light streaking over the ocean. The radio droned softly in the background. Everything smelled like summer, and I was deliciously sleepy, worn out by the weekend.

“Do you want to have a baby?”

My eyes shot open. “What?”

His face hadn’t changed, and he was still staring ahead. “I’d like to have kids, but I get it if you don’t. I understand it’s hard to work and be pregnant.”

His voice was casual, but I felt a tremor of deep longing in it.

“Can I think about it?” I whispered. “I think I do, but there’s a lot of logistical planning to work through if I’m going to work too.”

He nodded. “I understand it’s a lot to ask.”

I slid my arm over his shoulder, stroking the back of his neck. “I think it’s kind of hot that you want to have kids with me, but we still have to be smart about it.”

The corner of his mouth jerked up. “For now, we can just practice.”

“I’d like that,” I teased. “But here’s a better question for this stage—when are you planning on making an honest woman out of me?”

He shrugged. “I’ll take you to the courthouse tomorrow morning.”

All my life, I’d assumed I’d have a huge wedding with all my father’s friends and business partners. That was what everyone in our world did, but it felt distinctly wrong for Caden and I, especially after what we’d been through together. I’d never looked forward to my wedding, and now, I realized why. It was always going to be a networking opportunity for everyone else involved.

“Okay,” I said. “That’s fine.”

“Really?”

We pulled up outside his apartment, and he cut the engine. He shifted in his seat, reaching for my hand.

“Don’t do it just because that’s what I want,” he said.

I shook my head. “I just don’t want to be anyone’s spectacle. Maybe later…maybe when I sort through everything with my father, we can throw a party with everyone. But I’d like to get legally married before then. I want something that’s just for us.”

His throat bobbed, and he leaned in to kiss my mouth briefly. “I won’t tell anyone. We’ll get up and go as soon as the courthouse opens tomorrow. Fuck work, this is more important than anything.”

“Thank you,” I whispered.

We were quiet as he led me inside. We’d only been together in his apartment for a few weeks, but we already fell into a routine. He went to check his work emails. I wandered into the bathroom to take off my jewelry and makeup. We both met up in the bedroom to get undressed.

I glanced over my shoulder as I unzipped my dress. He was unbuttoning his shirt, slipping it down, revealing his muscled, tattooed shoulders.

“Caden,” I whispered.

He turned. “What is it, butterfly?”

“I have to make this right,” I said, voice wavering. “These last few weeks have been so good, but everything is bittersweet.”

He crossed the room, cradling my face. Sometimes, I forgot how tall he was until he was directly over me. I had to tilt back to look into his shadowed face.

“Do you mean your father and Delaney?”

I nodded.

His lips thinned. “Alright, but I’m going with you.”

I shook my head. “No, let me go alone. I’ll go to the country club tomorrow at lunch if he can make it. I just don’t want him to think we got married at the courthouse because I was trying to avoid him. I want a clean slate, no baggage, for us.”

He bent, lips brushing my forehead. “Whatever you want, you can have. We’ll get married Tuesday instead.”

The next morning, I waited until Caden had left for work. Then, I pulled my phone from the drawer, scrolled back to the last time I’d called my father, and tapped his number. Hands shaking, I set it down and hit the speaker button.

It rang once before he picked up.

“Circe,” he said.

“Hey, Dad,” I whispered, throat hoarse.

“Are you alright?” He sounded frantic, not angry.

“Yeah, I’m with Caden,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut. “Dad, before you say anything…I want to talk first.”

He cleared his throat, like he was tearing up. “Okay.”

“I’m not sorry I told Caden, but I’m sorry if you were hurt by what I did. But I fell in love with Caden, and I couldn’t let you hurt him like that. And you were wrong. I’m sorry, but you were wrong to go back on your deal with the Welsh organization.”

There was a long silence. He cleared his throat again.

“Thank you for being honest,” he said. “I’m not going to lie and say I wasn’t hurt, but I understand that I hurt you too, and for that, I’m sorry.”

I opened my mouth, but my eyes stung. Tears welled over, and I wiped them away furiously.

“Does Caden love you?” His voice cracked.

“Yeah, Dad, he does,” I gasped.

“Will he take care of you?”

“Yeah, he takes really good care of me. He really does.”

I heard him blow his nose, and it took everything I had not to break down. There was a moment of silence when I knew he was gathering himself. Part of me wanted to bring up everything else that had made me betray him, but suddenly, I didn’t care anymore.

He’d never tried to harm me; he’d just suffocated me. It wasn’t out of maliciousness, probably more out of his own desperation not to lose another person he loved.

He loved me, that I knew for certain.

“Dad,” I whispered.

“Yes, honey?”

“If you want to be with Delaney and she wants to be with you, that’s not my business,” I said. “I don’t think I”ll ever be comfortable being close friends with Delaney in the same way again. It just…feels so strange. But I want to be on good terms with both of you, and I do want you both to be happy.”

“Thank you,” he said, voice cracking. “I’m sorry again. I shouldn’t have lied.”

“I’m sorry too, for hurting you.”

“Please come see me,” he said.

I took a deep breath, forcing my voice to steady. “Have lunch with me and bring Delaney. I’ll meet you at the country club at noon.”

“Really?”

“Yes, we need to break this ice.”

I could hear him start pacing his office. “Bring Caden too.”

Into my mind burst the image of Caden, lounging at the country club with all his tattoos on display, giving my father an ice-cold stare over a mimosa, lip curled like a Doberman standing over me, ready to bite at the slightest provocation.

“Is that a good idea?” I asked.

“We need to break the ice too,” he said, laughing weakly.

“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I’ll meet you at the country club at noon. With Caden.”

I set the phone aside, hoping I wasn’t making the whole situation a lot worse.