CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

When I woke, Caden was gone. There was sushi in the fridge, so I nibbled on a few pieces and curled up on the couch. The world felt too calm, and it was making me jumpy. Was my father about to show up and demand I go home with him? Or was he so angry, he never wanted to see me again?

I logged into my bank account, the one he’d had his name on since I was a child. To my surprise, the amount in it had almost doubled, but his name was gone from the account.

My stomach twisted. I knew what it meant.

He still loved me, and he was still protecting me, even when we were at odds. That only served to make me feel worse, but I wasn’t ready to reach out. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure how long it would take to feel ready. I turned my calls and texts on mute, because Emmy was blowing up my phone, begging me to contact her. Then, I put the phone away in the bedroom.

Caden returned in the middle of the afternoon. I was in bed, watching TV, when he tossed something through the air. I looked down, and my brows shot up.

“A credit card?” I said.

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure if you had money or if your father cut you off,” he said.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “I have my own account. He took himself off this morning, but he left a bunch of money in there.”

His jaw worked. “Alright, it’s up to you, but take my card just in case.”

I slipped out of bed, putting the card in my pocket. “Do you want me to use yours?”

He kissed my forehead. “Maybe. Go out and buy yourself a dress, makeup. Whatever you need.”

I slid my arms around his neck. It felt so good to force the events of the last few days out of my mind and pretend everything was fine. Maybe he was right; I should do some retail therapy.

“Why do I need a dress?”

“My father and Clara are going out for dinner tonight,” he said.

“Oh?”

“I’d like it if we joined them.”

My mind went back to the day Merrick had come to my office. We hadn’t had a great conversation, but I didn’t resent him for it. He’d been right to warn me, because everything he’d said had come true, but that didn’t mean I felt completely comfortable going to dinner with him.

But, if I was going to be with Caden, I needed to at least put in an effort. I nodded, standing on my toes to kiss him.

“I’ll go get some things at the shops,” I said. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

Retail therapy was the ticket for putting some distance between now and last night, but it still felt lonely without Delaney or Emmy at my side. And that loneliness made me rack up a weighty bill at the boutique downtown. When it was time to pay up, I found I couldn’t use Caden’s card.

Maybe when we got married, we could have an account we shared, and that would feel alright. But for now, before I understood how much he made, I wasn’t going to use his money.

He was in the kitchen, working on his laptop, when I got back. For a second, I stood in the doorway with my bags and took a deep breath. This felt so good, like home—walking in and having him waiting for me like we were a normal couple.

Maybe now, we could be.

I set my bags down and slipped up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist and laying my head on his back. He smelled so good…like my home, my future. He turned, swiveling the stool, and slipped his arm around my body to pull me in.

His mouth moved over mine, kissing me thoroughly. When we broke apart, his lids were heavy.

“I’ve got something for you,” he said, kissing the side of my neck.

My toes curled. “What?”

“My dick,” he said.

I laughed aloud, even though part of me had anticipated that response. The heaviness that had laid over me since we arrived home was slowly disappearing. I would have to face it tomorrow, but for tonight, I could forget my father and Delaney.

Losing my father and my best friend in one day hurt.

“I might have a glass of wine tonight at dinner,” I said. “Or five.”

He nipped my neck. “Don’t drink your feelings. I’ve been down that route.”

“You know I don’t drink like that.”

He was quiet, resting his face in my neck. I slid my arms around his neck and let him hold me for a second before he pulled back.

“We should get going,” he said.

I nodded. “I’m a little nervous.”

His lids fell. “Want me to fuck you and take your mind off things, sweetheart?”

I laughed and he smirked like he’d won a prize. “Believe it or not, there are some things that even your dick can’t fix.”

“What about my tongue?”

Playfully, I pushed his face away. “Down boy.”

He let me go and slapped my ass hard as I turned to go. For a second, I stood shocked. Then, I whipped around, and he gave me the dirtiest look I’d ever seen, one that promised he’d make good on his threats tonight.

“If I can’t fuck you now, I’ll be fucking you when we get home,” he said.

Speechless, I ducked into the bedroom and went to shower and get dressed. Part of me wanted to pretend I was indignant. The other part of me loved it. That much was evident between my legs.

My heart hammered as I pulled on my dress and heels. Meeting Merrick and Clara seemed like a big step.

“You’re alright with this?”

On cue, he appeared behind me in the doorway. His eyes dropped and dragged up my body. Over my cream heels and pale blue sundress that clung to my body and left my shoulders bare.

“Fuck,” he said quietly.

I could have said the same about him and his nice pants and shirt. His hand tensed in his pocket, like he was holding himself back.

“I’m sure,” I said.

“How sure?” His eyes glittered.

I took a step closer and leaned up to kiss his mouth. “Maybe I’ve been sure since you fucked me at the lodge.”

“Was that when you knew?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think I knew until you slept in my bed.”

“That’s when I really knew.”

He slid his hands around my waist, cradling me like I was made of glass. “I love you,” he said.

My lashes were wet. I blinked hard, trying to keep my mascara from running.

“Please don’t make me cry.”

He kissed me, gently so he wouldn’t smear my lipstick. “Say it back.”

My throat felt dry when I swallowed. “I love you,” I whispered.

His lids fell, wavering like it took him a moment to believe me. Then, the light stayed on, burning steadily.

“We should go,” I said. “And can we please take your car? The Kawasaki will ruin my hair.”

He laughed, releasing me to take my hand and guide me from the apartment. I stood quietly while he moved through his rituals. Tapping lightly, checking the locks. Pausing and shaking his head once.

“It’s fine, it’s good,” he said softly.

I caught his hand, and he looked up. “It’s locked. I can vouch for it.”

His shoulders loosened, but he didn’t speak. Instead, he guided me down the stairs and into the garage, opening my door like the gentleman I knew he wasn’t and helping me into the seat.

Spellbound, I watched him pull out and get onto the main road. This gorgeous man was mine. All his flaws, his scars, and the ink he’d covered them with—it all belonged to me.

That made my head spin.

He laid his hand on my thigh, gripping it. His touch burned like fire all the way to the restaurant. I’d never been to this part of Providence, it was fairly new, having been built up over the last few years. Caden helped me from the car, and I smoothed my skirt, glancing around for Merrick’s Audi. It sat by the door in a reserved spot.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked.

He took my hand. “My father is a good person, and Clara is too. She’s going to be over the moon. Maybe a little too excited.”

“So when we get married, she’ll be my mother-in-law?”

He led me to the door. “She doesn’t like being called my stepmother, so she’ll like being your mother-in-law even less. I’d think of her more as just family.”

I followed him down the front hall to one of the back rooms. The restaurant was quiet, everything bathed in candlelight. Soft laughter, voices, and the clinking of glasses filled the room. In the dining area, Merrick and Clara sat at a round table. I was glad I’d decided to dress up, because Clara was glittering in a tight, berry pink dress and a full set of diamond jewelry. Merrick wore a plain black suit.

Caden pulled out my chair and I sat, awkwardly.

“Hey,” Clara said, offering me a sweet smile. “You doing okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah, all things considered.”

She glanced at Merrick and back at me. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re very brave.”

Inside, I melted. My chest ached, but not in a bad way.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

Caden’s hand squeezed my thigh under the table. “Let’s get some drinks.”

Merrick passed me the liquor menu, and our eyes talked. There was a softness in them that hadn’t been there the last time we’d met. I offered him a small smile, and he returned it.

“For what it’s worth, Circe, I agree with Clara,” he said.

I dipped my head, wiping my eye delicately so I didn’t smudge my makeup. “Thank you,” I said, clearing my throat.

“Anyway, what’s everyone having?” Clara asked brightly.

“They have an aged whiskey that’s very good,” Merrick said.

“I’m not much of a hard liquor drinker,” I said. “I’ll just have a glass of the merlot.”

Our waitress appeared and took our orders. The first few minutes were incredibly awkward, but then everyone got their wine and whiskey, and the atmosphere relaxed. Clara couldn’t hold her alcohol at all, so she started chatting about anything and everything after a few sips of wine. I threw caution to the wind and did the same. It had been so long since I’d truly let myself relax.

The night moved fast. We all had steak and seafood and more drinks. After a while, the hostess invited us to sit outside while they lit the outdoor fireplaces. Clara curled up against Merrick and sipped on her drink while Caden sank down on the other side of the fire, stretching his long legs out.

I glanced over at him. We were on a bench; I could lean into him, but we’d never been physically affectionate in public before.

It felt like a big step.

He reached out and slid his hand around my waist, drawing me close until my side pressed against his. I glanced up and he brushed my temple with his lips.

“You okay?” he whispered.

“Yeah,” I said softly. “I think I might be kind of happy.”

He smiled, turning back to the fire. We finished our drinks, and Caden said he wanted to get back home because he had to be at work early. Merrick left Clara curled on the bench a few feet away while he walked us to the car. He opened my door, and I offered him a tentative smile.

“Thanks,” I managed.

His eyes were kind. “I’m glad you’re alright,” he said. “The organization appreciates what you did, and you’ll be protected and provided for no matter what.”

I swallowed, throat tight. “Thank you.”

Caden was already in the driver’s seat, so I couldn’t say anything more, but before I could duck into my seat, Merrick tapped my arm.

“You’re good for him,” he said, voice low.

I settled in the seat, unsure how to answer him. He shut the door and stepped back, hands in his pockets, to watch us drive away. Caden’s hand drifted to my thigh, and I glanced over at him, studying his handsome profile.

All I could think about was how good this new normal felt, how vast the world was without the restraints of my father or my work. Tomorrow, I got to wake up and decide what I wanted my future to look like. I was free of a cage I’d never been able to see until he came along and opened my eyes.

He’d given me that, and I would never be able to thank him enough.