CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

I left the head in the kitchen and fucked my wife-to-be in the shower. The hot water cleaned the blood from my skin, revealing scratches and bruises. She worried over me, tracing them. She was soaked and glittering with diamonds like a goddess.

A real goddess, flesh and blood.

No more dreams of incense and stone.

No more letting her turn to porcelain in her ivory tower.

I pulled her in, sliding my hand around her lower back, lifting her with my other hand and pushing my cock deep inside her soft, wet pussy. She moaned as her head fell back, her arms wrapped around my neck, her pointed nails digging into my shoulders.

“God, you feel so good,” she gasped.

I braced myself and slammed into her, the wall shuddering beneath us as her moan turned into a yelp. My brain buzzed, and it hit me that I was truly, deeply satisfied.

For the first time in…maybe my entire life.

I hadn’t faltered. I’d been presented with a situation that normally would have made me deeply question my worth or if I deserved love at all, and I’d held steady and forced myself to believe I could handle it and get what I wanted.

Maybe I could do this healing thing after all.

Maybe she gave me the confidence I needed.

Gently, I wrapped my hand around her throat and turned her face up. Our eyes locked, and her breasts heaved.

“I’m not angry with you,” I whispered. “I could never be.”

Her lower lip trembled. “How?”

“Because you risked everything to tell me the truth.”

Her lips trembled. “I’m about to lose everything, right?”

I kissed her deeply, drawing her breath into my lungs. “No, no, you have me, and I’ll take care of you.”

She pushed her forehead against mine. “I think that would be alright.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, nodding. “I wasn’t really comfortable being a billionaire COO anyway. At least not…not of someone else’s company.”

Her gaze was clouded. I drew back, thrusting into her gently.

“I do pretty well for myself,” I said. “I’m not a big spender, but Merrick pays me very well, and I’ve got stock in most of his investments. You won’t go without.”

Her dark eyes softened, and my throat caught. I’d never seen her so vulnerable, so open. Even that night I’d fucked her in her bed, there had been a something guarded in her gaze. Maybe now, because the truth was out, she could finally be honest with me.

“I love you,” she whispered. “Sometimes, you piss me off, but I love you.”

“I piss you off?”

She rolled her eyes, wincing as I gave her a punishing little thrust, just to remind her whose dick she was on.

“I don’t know… Maybe I was just so scared I’d fall for you,” she said. “I didn’t want to betray my father, but…I can’t give you up.”

I considered glossing over the part about her father, because I was balls deep in her and I wanted my dick to stay hard, but I could tell she needed a moment. I disengaged my hips, pulling out, and a line appeared between her brows.

“Your father was in the wrong,” I said quietly. “I’m not just saying that because we’re competitors. Merrick always fully intended on honoring their deal. Your father, I know you love him, but he intended on betraying us and going back on his word. Why, I can’t guess.”

She bit her lip, her eyes dropping. “I love him, but…he’s always had a problem with power. He just wants to keep going, keep taking, keep consuming. He has all these charities, and he gives a lot of his money away, but that doesn’t make it better. I think he thinks it’ll balance out some of the things he does to succeed.”

“It’s better than if he wasn’t.” I shrugged. “But he has to live with himself. He could have had everything with Merrick. Now, he has nothing.”

Her chin trembled. “Not even me.”

I took her face in my grip. Her eyes were full of tears, and my chest ached, hating seeing her so broken.

“If it’s possible, I will fix this,” I said.

She sniffed. “I know you hate my father.”

“I won’t have my wife upset,” I said firmly. “If you need to repair your relationship with him to be happy, I’ll swallow my pride. But if he so much as looks at you wrong, we’re done. No one disrespects you.”

She sighed and pushed her face into my chest. I pulled her in, stroking her wet hair.

“There’s no need to worry,” I said gently. “I swear, I’ll handle everything.”

She gave a little, shaky laugh. “You shouldn’t have to handle my bullshit.”

“It’s my bullshit now.”

She was quiet after that. I dried her off and laid her in the bed. Her hands came up and pulled me in after her, drawing the sheets up over our bodies. This time, when I pushed my cock into her, she was relaxed. Her eyes were hazy as we fucked, and her pleasure spilled out like water.

Overflowing, like she couldn’t hold it back anymore.

I fucked her thoroughly and ordered food for when she woke up. When I left, the box from the kitchen under my arm, she was fast asleep with her head on my pillow.

Good. It was better if she slept through the day.

The drive to her father’s house felt long. I pulled up out front and, to my surprise, his car was in the driveway, idle, the engine on. I parked on the street and took the box out, walking up the drive, my gun easily accessible on my hip.

The door opened. Lukas stepped out in a seersucker suit. Judging by the relaxed look on his face, he hadn’t heard the news yet. He saw me as he reached the car and froze, glancing around.

“What are you doing here?” he said.

“You don’t need to go to the hotel,” I said. “There’s no deal.”

It took him a second, but he collected himself. His eyes narrowed. “What are you saying?”

I dropped the box on the ground with a wet thump. “It means you betrayed us. I cleaned every one of your men out of our training base. Here’s what’s left.”

He went pale, his eyes dropping. There was a long, shocked silence.

“Don’t reach out to your daughter,” I said. “She’s under my care now.”

I saw him connect the dots in real time, and I waited, because what he said next would decide if I chose to reach out to him when the dust was settled and strike another deal, or if we were done forever.

Rage swept through him, quickly followed by horror. A muscle in his jaw twitched and his pupils blew. Then, his shoulders sank, and he lifted his chin, fixing eyes brewing with hatred on me.

“Where is my daughter?” he said. “I swear, if you hurt her, I will end you.”

Goddamn it, I was really hoping I could kick this man to the curb. Sighing, I turned to go.

“She’s safe,” I said. “She’s sleeping, in my bed.”

I heard his anger, heard his fist dent in the roof of his car, but I didn’t turn around to look back. I had more pressing concerns. Lukas could rage all he wanted. He was beaten before he’d ever had a chance to turn on us.

The Kawasaki hummed as I pulled back onto the main road and headed out to Merrick’s house. He would likely be packing up to head out to the hotel right now. I increased my speed, getting off the highway and heading down the country lane that led to my father’s house.

It felt different. Last time, I’d been desperate and afraid.

Today, I was sure of what I would do tomorrow, even if it was difficult. Even if it took years.

I parked and went to knock on the door. It swung open to reveal Clara in an enormous hoodie and sneakers, dragging her suitcase.

“Caden?” she said, frowning.

“If you’re heading to the hotel, might want to hold back,” I said. “Can I come in? Is Merrick home?”

“He’s in the kitchen,” she said, pushing her suitcase aside. “Why? I wanted to go to the hotel. Did it burn down?”

I stared at her as we walked down the hall, trying to follow her train of thought. “No, the hotel didn’t burn down.”

“That’s good. Merrick had a bunch of trouble with the wiring,” she said. “He spent weeks last summer on the phone with contractors. It would be the worst if the wiring caught fire or something.”

“No, wiring is good,” I said.

We entered the kitchen, Clara at my heels with a concerned expression on her face. Merrick stood at the counter, two thermoses before him. Coffee trickled through the pour over, smelling faintly of hazelnut. As soon as he saw me, he froze, and his brows rose.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Lukas was going to betray you and seize the infrastructure of the base,” I said. “I flew out last night, and Trystan and I cleaned house. You’re safe out there, but Lukas isn’t friendly anymore.”

The silence was so loud, it rang in my ears. Merrick’s eyes narrowed, his mouth thinning. Clara clapped her hand over her mouth as she looked back and forth between us, waiting for us to react.

Merrick cleared his throat. “How do you know this?”

I swallowed. “Circe. She was in on it.”

Merrick’s eyes narrowed. “Where is she now?”

“In my apartment,” I said. “She’s asleep.”

There was a long silence. Merrick glanced at Clara, and she sent him a look, like she was reminding him to be kind.

“Can we trust her?” Merrick asked.

“She gave up everything to tell me,” I said. “She’s devastated. Her relationship with her father was already on the rocks because he’s fucking her best friend, Delaney, and this was the nail in the coffin. She’s torn up about this. I think she deserves our trust for what she sacrificed.”

“Delaney? Our Delaney?” Merrick’s eyes flashed.

I nodded, and Clara gasped.

“I thought she was supposed to marry Trystan,” she whispered.

“She was,” Merrick said grimly. “I’ll have to handle this later. Did we sustain any casualties last night?”

I shook my head. “We took them by surprise. They only lost a dozen men. I tried to run them out with minimal loss of life. Their commander was an exception.”

“What happened to him?”

“I brought what was left to Lukas. Thought he might need to hear the message loud and clear.”

Merrick opened his mouth, and I gave him a hard look. Our last plan to get funding for the Wyoming Project had been through Clara’s former fiancé. Then, he’d put his hands on her, and Merrick lost his shit and beat him to death. So he didn’t have a leg to stand on, and if he said one word to criticize what I’d done, I was going to remind him of that.

Instead, he sighed and dipped his head.

“I see you’ve handled this,” he said.

“I have,” I said firmly. “You told me if there was fallout, I had to handle it, so I did.”

Merrick did that thing that made me more uncomfortable than anything else—he looked at me like he was my father. His eyes were soft, and I almost wished he was angry. I knew how to deal with negative feedback, but I still struggled to accept love. Approval was just as bad.

“Good,” he said quietly. “I’m proud of you.”

I looked away.

Clara cleared her throat, backing up. “I might go unpack, let you two have a moment.”

The last thing I wanted was for Merrick to have an opportunity to get emotional. After the night I’d had, all I wanted was for things to go back to normal.

Except I wanted Circe to be part of my new normal.

“Wait,” I said.

Clara leaned in the doorway.

“Could we…all go out tonight?” I asked, feeling awkward.

Clara’s jaw dropped. Not once had I gone out to dinner with them since their marriage. The only time Merrick and I spent time together was for work.

“Yeah, of course,” she said quickly. Her eyes darted back to her husband. “Right?”

“Uh, of course,” he said. “Is Circe up for that?”

“I think it would be bad for her if she stays in bed,” I said. “She’s having a hard time, and I think maybe letting her know she’s not alone would help.”

Merrick nodded. “Of course. Do you want to meet at the steakhouse?”

“Isn’t Circe vegan?” Clara asked.

I shook my head. “She doesn’t eat a lot of meat, though. She eats like a lot of healthy shit.”

Merrick laughed. “I have a feeling we’ll get along. How about the new sashimi place that Clara helped me outfit last year? It’s only thirty minutes from downtown.”

“Sounds perfect,” I said. “Now, I’m leaving before you say anything embarrassing.”

Merrick shook his head, following me out to my Kawasaki. He paused at the bottom of the stairs and crossed his arms over his chest. I swung my leg over and settled in the seat.

“Just so you know, I took the evaluation,” I said.

I’d thought it would feel nails on a chalkboard to talk to Merrick about this, but it felt more like…relief. My shoulders were straighter, less bogged down by invisible burdens.

“And?” His brow furrowed.

“Gretchen diagnosed me with the same shit as you,” I said.

He didn’t say I told you so. No, he just nodded. “What’s the plan?”

I considered hiding the truth, but maybe it was time for some secrets to come out. Maybe I was done hiding all the pain. My eyes found anywhere that wasn’t my father’s face, settling on the rose garden around the side.

“I kind of have a problem with meds,” I said.

“As in?”

“Like…I’ve abused every medication I’ve ever taken. So, I’ll try therapy first.”

“Addiction isn’t the same for us,” Merrick said. “Your brain wants more and more, and if you don’t get a handle on it, it’ll consume you. I used to have an...an issue with substances before I did therapy with Gretchen.”

I had a vague idea that he’d had a different life before me, but it felt like such a relief to hear him say it out loud. I’d come a long way, and I had a long way to go, but there was hope for normalcy. Sometimes, it was right in front of me, and I was just too stubborn to see it.

“You don’t have to choose medication as your treatment plan,” Merrick said. “It worked for me when I needed it, but it may not work for you. What’s important is you work with Gretchen closely and let her monitor you.”

“I know. I’ll talk it over with her,” I said, putting my helmet on. “See you tonight.”