CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

I let her go, stepping back to put space between us.

I’d felt deep, emotional pain many times in my life. When the police came to tell me my mother had overdosed for the last time. When I was locked up for two years and not one person visited me. When I’d found out Merrick was my father and I had to grieve the life I could have had.

And all those times, I’d closed in on myself and grieved alone.

Not this time.

I was both livid and incredibly impressed. She had me hook, line, and sinker. She’d spent that night in her room with me, we’d bared our souls, and she hadn’t cracked once. Maybe I’d underestimated her. Maybe she wasn’t as inexperienced as I’d thought.

But I wasn’t her victim, because I would have done the same exact thing in her place.

Of course she was loyal to her father. He was her only parent, and she loved him just as much as he adored her. There was a time when I would have jumped through hoops backwards just to get an ounce of parental love. It didn’t shock me that she’d agreed to betray me.

No, what shocked me was that, ultimately, she’d chosen to betray Lukas, the man who’d raised her to adulthood.

The truth sank in slowly, then all at once, taking the breath from my lungs. She really did love me, enough to betray her father and spill the truth. I knew Circe intimately now, and she valued loyalty and honor. What she’d done tonight was the biggest sacrifice she could have made.

My eyes moved down her naked body.

“Hold still,” I said, keeping my voice cool. “Spread your legs.”

She bit her lip, dark hair falling around her face. A shiver moved up her spine, but she obeyed, shifting her feet out until her pussy was exposed. Part of me wanted to push my head between her legs and punish her by making her come until she begged for relief.

But not now. That could come later, after I’d handled this mess.

Instead, I knelt and slid her panties up her thighs, settling them on her hips. I was eye level with her pussy, and I felt her gaze following my every move. Gently, I leaned in and kissed her over the silk.

“Are you angry?” she whispered.

“No.” I nuzzled into her, breathing in the faint sweet scent of her sex. “Anger doesn’t describe what I feel.”

“What do you feel?” Her voice broke.

“I don’t know,” I said.

That was the truth. A sob worked its way up, making her stomach shudder. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do. I shouldn’t have agreed to betray you.”

I tilted my head, looking up at her from below. My chin rested on her pubic bone.

“I know.”

She bit her lip, the tear tracks on her cheeks glittering. “How?”

“When was the last time you cried for someone?”

Her face froze, and her eyes darted like I’d put her on the spot. Her lip trembled, and her fingers hovered over my head, like she wanted to press it to her stomach.

But she was afraid to touch me.

“I don’t know,” she managed.

“But you’re crying for me.”

She nodded, wordless. I rose to my feet and picked up her dress, pulling it over her head. Her bra was somewhere in the dark, but she didn’t need it. I took her face in my grip and turned it up to mine.

“That’s all I need to know,” I said.

Her throat bobbed. “I don’t know how we can come back from this,” she whispered.

“Neither do I,” I said. “But I’ve spent my life running from good things. I never thought I deserved to be happy. Maybe I’m angry, but that’s not important.”

Her eyes were so big, like I could just fall right into them.

“I deserve you,” I said firmly. “And I’m not giving up this time.”

She was bewildered—we both were. I took her by the wrist and led her back to the motorcycle. Her cheeks were still wet, and her nose was running when I put the helmet back on. I wiped them on my sleeve and tucked her hair back.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

I got on the motorcycle, jerking my head behind me. “Get on.”

She hesitated. “I mean it, Caden, and I meant the things I said to you that night in my room.”

A flood of images moved through my mind from that night. We’d laid together, shared our bodies and our secrets. And in the morning, I ached to be joined to her again. I’d left her bed listless, longing for the next time I could touch her soft skin and kiss her mouth.

I glanced back over my shoulder at the stone structure overlooking the cliffs. I’d brought her here, desperate to feel the way I felt in my fantasies. We’d fucked it out on the ground, and it was nothing like I’d imagined.

Maybe because she wasn’t just a dream.

She was real, flesh and blood, mired in messiness and obligations and pain the same way I was. The idea of us together came hurtling down to Earth, and I was so fucking grateful, because it wasn’t just a fantasy anymore.

In my pain, I made a choice. I loved her, and I was going to see this through no matter how bad it got.

“Get on the bike, Circe,” I said, my voice hoarse.

She obeyed this time, wrapping her arms around my chest. Her nails bit into my skin through my shirt as I kicked off the ground. The Kawasaki purred, and I guided it back onto the road and into the dark.