CHAPTER THIRTY

Guilt ate away at my insides. After a while, I pulled my face from the front of his shirt, leaving little makeup stains on the white fabric.

“Can I ask you a question?”

He nodded, gaze turning to mine.

“Why a temple to Aphrodite?”

He shrugged. “Because I prayed to Aphrodite.”

I wasn’t sure how to answer that. He had such a rough, scarred exterior, but below that, he was beautiful. He felt things deeply in a way I”d never experienced before. Despite everything that had happened to him, he still retained a sense of wonder.

He glanced over at me, lids falling. “You think I’m foolish.”

“Why? Why is that any stranger than praying to God?” I pressed. “I know lots of people who pray. I think it’s nice, human. Real.”

He was quiet. Finally, he let out a soft sigh, like he was letting something go. His head tilted back, and the stars reflected in his eyes.

“I’ve never met anyone like you, Caden,” I whispered. “I think you might have been born in the wrong time.”

He shook his head. “I used to think so. Part of me wanted to live in a time where I could fight back…where I could have been a warrior. But now, I see why I was born here and now.”

“Why?” My heart sped up.

He turned, brushing my hair back. “You know why, Circe.”

I could feel the blood in my veins like a drumbeat. He bent his head, and his mouth brushed mine. He kissed me, softly at first, then more deeply, like he was laying his claim to me.

I pulled back, tears welling.

“I like to…think that if this doesn’t work out, part of me will wait for you,” he said, his voice rough.

My heart shattered. My lips trembled, and it took me a moment to regain my voice.

“You said you prayed to Aphrodite. What did you ask for?”

He tilted his head, his mouth thinning. “I asked for you. You are my only prayer that has ever been answered.”

My body tingled like he’d held a live wire to it. This was the closest he’d come to confessing real feelings without saying those three words out loud. Yet, all I could think about was the day I’d come home and found my father standing in the kitchen with a horrible secret.

It hung around my neck like a heavy weight. I couldn’t keep this secret anymore. I couldn’t get to the end of the week and face my father and tell him I couldn’t bug Caden’s apartment and betray the organization.

So, between now and then, something had to give.

I dropped my head, rubbing my face. From the corner of my eyes, I saw his brows knit. His arms came around me and pulled me into the heat of his body. I nestled my head on his chest, lean and hard.

He was strong, but not in the way the men I worked with were strong. Caden’s strength was raw, quiet. It didn’t require an audience. It endured, and it hoped in a way I’d never dared to.

Maybe that was what I truly loved about him. I’d never met anyone who hoped even when there was so little to hope for. He was a survivor, an endurance fighter.

And yet, when he loved me, he was so gentle.

My heart thumped in my throat. My chest was raw, my eyes burned.

“We should go,” I whispered.

He shook his head. “No, we came all this way. I’m fucking you, Circe.”

My stomach swooped. “What?”

His hand slid up the side of my neck, turning my eyes up to meet his. The rough pad of his thumb dragged over my bottom lip, and I forgot how to breathe.

“We can deal with tomorrow when it comes,” he said. “Tonight, I want you on the ground. In the open.”

“Right here?”

His eyes tumbled over my face, fixing distractedly to my mouth. “Naked, on your back.”

I stared at him, speechless. In the distance, the ocean thudded into the shore like the far-off beat of a drum.

“Lay down,” he urged.

I hesitated, unsure where he was going with this. His lids were heavy, and the depths of his eyes burned soft. Hesitantly, my heart pattering, I shifted onto my knees so I could work my dress up over my hips. He watched as I dragged my clothes from my body, piece by piece.

Until I was naked, on my knees, on the cold stone.

His eyes flicked over me. Then, he pulled his shirt off and unfastened his belt. I expected him to push me onto the ground, but he slid to his back and beckoned me. Hesitantly, I rose and stepped over his body.

“What do you want from me?” I whispered.

“Sit,” he said. “Let me warm the stone first, before you lay on your back.”

I licked my dry mouth. “I thought the stone was supposed to be cold.”

“For me,” he said. “Not for you. For you…the stone is always warm when I’m here.”

I wanted to sob, but I couldn’t. If I didn’t find the courage, this might be the last time our bodies were joined. Sinking down, I settled my sex against him, kept apart only by the fabric of his boxer briefs.

His rough palms ran up over my thighs, gripping my hips. I stroked my fingertips over his bare chest.

“If Merrick is your father, that makes you the Welsh Prince,” I whispered.

He shook his head. “No, I’m his son. Not his heir.”

“I don’t know what the difference is,” I admitted.

He let his head fall back, hands still on my body. “There’s someone I think can replace him as the Welsh King, but it’s not me. We don’t believe in primogeniture. The founder of our organization believed it weakened our leaders. They thought that only the best, the bravest, the one who understood how much harm violence can cause, should be Brenin.”

“I think that describes you,” I said. “You’re brave…and gentle.”

His eyes were wide, reflecting the stars overhead.

“No, I was never meant to be king,” he said softly.

“Maybe you’re just refusing your birthright.”

He sighed. “No, I know what I am.”

“What is that?”

His lids flickered. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

I leaned in, palms on his chest, until my hair brushed his face.

“You don’t make sense,” I whispered.

He was quiet for a moment before he cleared his throat. “When I know, I’ll tell you.” His hands tightened on my hips, his body tensing.

“What is it?”

“The stone is warm.”

He rolled me onto my back easily, resting his lean body between my thighs. From here, the view was astounding. To my side, the ocean stretched out like dark velvet. Overhead, the stars hung heavy in the sky, bright white and gold. The warm stone pressed into my naked body, somehow softer than anything I’d ever laid on.

He spat into his fingers and worked them gently over my sex. I was empty inside, trembling with the anticipation of him filling me. I closed my eyes and felt the head of his cock, hard, hot, smooth, cool metal, pushing at the entrance of my pussy until my muscles relaxed.

He slid into me, to the hilt. My body hummed, my brain sparking.

I was whole, he was whole.

He felt it too. Face buried in my neck, hand on my breast. My lids fluttered open, and my arms slid up around his neck. He moved his grip down to my hip, holding my body as he began fucking into me.

Deep, slow.

Like he could fuck my soul instead of my body.

“Mine,” he whispered, voice low and hoarse.

I wanted to say it back, to tell him that I was his forever, but that wasn’t the truth. I was a liar, hopelessly in love with someone I was going to hurt beyond repair. All at once, I dropped from my high and into free fall.

Like Icarus, burned by the sun.

“Hurt me,” I whispered.

He couldn’t see my face or the tears sitting on my lashes. My hips sank down until my naked body was flush against the cold stone. His hard, lean chest and stomach pinned me down as he fucked me into the stone the way he’d fantasized about. Maybe the way I’d fantasized, too.

His breath came in short gasps, punctuated by all the things I longed to hear from him.

All except those three little words that would destroy me.

My head spun, drunk on the feel of his lean body taking mine again and again the way I’d imagined, but without the peace of the early morning in a sacred place.

Until he shuddered and went still.

He bent, his mouth brushing mine, and I turned my head away so he didn’t taste my tears. I knew he felt my mood shift as he disengaged his hips and pulled me against him. His fingers stroked my hair back.

“Talk to me, Circe,” he said.

I shook my head.

“Please, don’t shut me out.”

Desperation tinged his words, breaking down the last bit of resistance I had. Hot, roiling tears roared up my body and burst out, sending me spiraling with sobs. My body shook as my hands clenched, crushed between our bodies.

“Fuck, Circe,” he said, his voice breaking. “If anyone hurts you, I’ll kill them.”

“I hurt you,” I panted. “I hurt myself.”

He went quiet. I pushed from his arms and sat upright, feeling so vulnerable.

“My father is going to take the infrastructure for the Wyoming Project,” I said. My words sounded strange, like someone else’s. “He’s going to have his men take out yours and seize the base. Merrick will lose everything.”

I heard his sharp inhale, but I didn’t turn.

“I’m supposed to betray you,” I sobbed. “My father ordered me to. The mission to get the shareholders to sign off was a distraction until my father had shipped out enough of his men to Wyoming. He’s going to take the base and walk away a multi-billionaire, kill the competition. There’s nothing Merrick or you can do about it.”

I felt his rage; it swept through the space between us like the tides changing.

In a second, he was on his feet, his pants zipped, staring at me like I’d just been slapped across the face.

“Why?” he breathed.

“Because he wants more,” I whispered. “And he doesn’t know when to stop. He never meant to keep his word to Merrick. He told me after the first leg of the mission.”

“No,” Caden whispered. “Why would you let me fall for you knowing this? Are you some kind of sick, fucking sadist?”

“No,” I said, scrambling to my feet. “Please. I didn’t know until after we slept together at your apartment. I really thought our mission together was real.”

“But you agreed to his real plan when you found out?”

I stuttered, but no words came. He didn’t understand because he’d never had a father who’d loved me like mine did from my first moment, but I couldn’t say that out loud.

His eyes flashed. “Because that’s what you do, huh? Anything he wants?”

Anger sparked. My fists clenched, my arms wrapping around my body.

“I have no one but him,” I snapped. “He’s my father. He’s all I had for years.”

“And I had no one at all,” he hissed. “Loneliness is no excuse.”

“What would you know?”

“More than you,” he said, reaching down to pick up my clothes. “You had everything you ever wanted. You could have been anything, Circe, and you chose to let him decide for you.”

That hurt. I darted forward, making a grab for my clothes, but his hand shot up, gripping my throat with a firm, gentle grip, and pulling me in. My heart stopped even though I could still breathe. I’d never felt anything like the pain radiating off him before.

It was arresting. A tragedy.

“Do you love me?” he said, his lips barely moving.

My heart broke. It snapped, bleeding out in a rush as tears spilled down my cheeks.

“I love you,” I whispered. “Now, please let me leave so you can hate me in peace.”

His eyes narrowed. “Oh no, you’re not going anywhere.”

Fear blazed like a wildfire through my body. My fingers dug at his wrists.

“You hate me,” I gasped. “Why do you want me here?”

“I love you,” he spat. “And up until now, I’ve let everything and everyone I’ve ever wanted leave because I never felt like I deserved it. But I deserve you, Circe, you and all your lies. I’m going to fix this, and when I return, you’ll be there waiting for me, even if I have to chain you by the neck to my bed.”

My jaw dropped. Of all the ways I’d thought this would go, this wasn’t even on the list. Shock moved through me like a storm and left me numb.

“You’re not leaving me?” I whispered.

He cocked his head, a glint of something that made my hair stand on end in his eyes. “No, no one fucks me that hard and walks away,” he said, his mouth inches from mine.

“Is this your idea of punishing me?” I breathed.

“No, Circe,” he said. “I’m angry, but I won’t punish you. I won’t hurt you.”

He bent in and kissed me harshly, giving more than a taste of his tongue. When he pulled back, it grazed my lips—a brush of heat that broke through the numbness.

Every part of me had assumed he’d walk away the minute I confessed.

But he hadn’t. He was still here.