33. Kate

Ican’t believe this. What is he doing? Why is he tormenting me like this? Does he really think he can just show up and expect me to be with him… his wife, no less?

“I’m not leaving until we have this out.” He strides into my living room and sits on the couch.

“Fine, then I’ll leave.”

He shrugs. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

I gape at this infuriating man. “Why are you doing this? Just because you’re jealous?”

He sucks in a long breath. “I’m miserable, Kate. I want to do right by you, give you the freedom you want, but fucking hell, I’m dying inside.”

My brows rise, surprised by his confession.

“If I’m wrong in thinking that you care for me, thinking that you wanted to be with me, then tell me and I will go. You won’t see me ever again. I promise.”

All I have to do to make him leave is tell him I never cared for him or wanted a life with him. That should be easy even if it is a lie. But words don’t come. I can’t form them.

“It’s not about how I feel or what I once wanted. It’s about how I can’t trust you.”

He seems to accept that. “Because of my work?”

“No. Because you leave me. Usually, when I’m at my most vulnerable.”

Pain mixed with shame shows on his face. He rises and moves toward me but smartly, doesn’t try to touch me.

“I’m sorry, Kate.” He watches me like he’s unable to find more or better words.

“Why are you here?” I cross my arms like that’s going to protect me. I can feel my heart softening, and I hate that I’m not stronger.

“I told you. I can’t live without you. You know I love you and the baby.”

“Don’t say that.” Those words from him are my kryptonite. I step back, turning away because I’m too close to caving in.

“But it’s true. When I said them before, I was sure I’d die, and I wanted you to know. I wanted you to be able to tell the baby something good about me.”

I can’t speak. And when he steps up behind me, laying his hands on my shoulders, I can’t find the strength to shrug him off.

“I know I’ve been an asshole. I know I don’t deserve you. And I know that to be with me, you’ll have to give up what you’ve been fighting for. Are Niko and Elena and Lucy wrong when they say you love me?”

“Liam.” God, please make him stop.

“Tell me to go, and I will.”

I close my eyes. “I can’t.”

He turns me, his hands cradling my cheeks. “You’re right to want me out of your life.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I told you,” he says with a small smile. “I can’t live without you.”

“Do you even know love, Liam?”

His thumb brushes a tear from my cheek I didn’t realize I”d shed. “Until you, no. Well, that’s not true. When I was a kid, I had the perfect family. My mother was beautiful and she showered me with love. And my dad loved her. I know it. But then they died. And my uncle died. I feel like what I love dies, and I don’t want that for you, which is why I’ve tried so fucking hard to protect you from me.”

My heart breaks for him.

“I can’t do it anymore, Kate. I can’t protect you from me. I want you so fucking bad I can’t breathe.”

“What do you expect from me?”

He lowers his forehead against mine. “In a word? Your love.”

“You’ve always had that.” I don’t want to give him my feelings and at the same time, I feel like I owe it to him for sharing so much of himself.

“But it’s not enough? Or not enough to uproot your life and live on the other side of the law?”

“It’s not that. Or not only that. You feel like this now, but in ten minutes, you’ll walk out that door and leave me again.”

He lifts his head. “I won’t. I can’t.”

“What assurances do I have?”

“Marry me.”

My jaw drops. “What?”

“Marry me. The commitment doesn’t get any bigger than that. We can fly to Vegas… right now?—”

“Are you nuts?”

He laughs. “No, baby. I’m in love.”

My lips twitch up without permission. But how can I keep this man back when he’s so earnest?

“How do you see this working?” Now, I’m just trying to delay the inevitable.

“One, we get married. Two, you move into my place… or better yet, I’ll build us a spectacular home near Woodstock. You liked it those days we were there, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Best damn days of my life.”

“Is there a three?” I ask.

“Three, you, me, and baby live happily ever after. He’ll like it there.”

“She. She’ll like it there.”

His smile is radiant. I’ve never seen it so wide, so bright, so full of joy. “A girl. I’m having a girl.”

“We’re having a girl.” I give my head a quick shake as I’m losing myself in the moment. “What about my home? My business?”

“Sell the home. You can keep the business, but there’ll need to be changes in how you run it. That’s the one sacrifice, baby. Being with me means bodyguards and safety protocols. But you can have a home office. Whatever you want, I’ll outfit you to run your empire.”

I arch a brow. “You’re not going to launder money through my store, are you?”

He holds back a laugh. “Bookstores aren’t good business for laundering.”

“Why not?” I ask defensively.

“Not enough money runs through them.” He shrugs like he’s sorry about that. Then he runs his hands up and down my arms. “It’s a big ask, Kate. I know it. But if you give me this chance, I’ll make sure you’re happy?—”

“Except during the bossing? Because Lucy says that I don’t have to take that.”

“That’s when I knew you loved me.” His comment surprises me.

“What?”

“Niko told me you were taking Mafia wife lessons from Lucy and Elena. I knew then that you could be mine if I just was brave enough to reach out to you.”

“When did he tell you that?”

He swallows and his expression turns guilty. “The night I killed Babichev.”

I slug him in the shoulder. “That was weeks ago.”

“Come rule the Bratva with me, Kate. You won’t regret it. I’ll see to it that you don’t.”

The logical part of me thinks the in love part of me is nuts to agree to this. Marrying into a life of crime? That’s nuts. But the woman in love wants everything he’s promising. The love. The happily ever after.

I waggle my finger at him. “I won’t be a doormat.”

He smiles wide again. “Good, doormats are boring. So is that a yes?” His hands go to my waist. “Come on, baby, tell me you want me. Tell me you love me. Tell me you’ll marry me.”

I take a breath. “I want you. I love you. I’ll marry you.”

His arms band around me, and his lips fuse to mine in a kiss that reaches the tips of my toes.

He scoops me up. “Let’s consummate this agreement.” He carries me to the bedroom.

“Consummation is for marriage.”

“We’ll do it then, too.” He gently lays me on the bed and lies next to me. “As soon as you want.”

I brush my fingers through his hair. “Do you want to wait until after the baby?”

“I don’t, but I will if that’s what you want.” His hand caresses my belly, then he leans over and kisses it. “Hello, baby girl.”

Just like my father used to call me.

I reach for him and pull him to me, kissing him, hoping he feels my love for him. He undresses me and his eyes take in my body.

“You’re like a goddess.”

His words make me feel so beautiful. Cherished. “Take off your clothes.”

“You sure are bossy.” He grins at me as he undresses. I push him back and take in his body.

“If I’m a goddess, you’re an Adonis.”

“You like what you see?”

“I do.” I drag my fingers down his chest and abs, moving them close but not quite touching his erection.

“Then take it, baby. I’m all yours.”

I do. I run my hands and tongue all over his strong body. Then I focus on his dick until he is panting. Power. That’s what I feel.

I have no illusions over the man he is. But I believe that he respects me. Will cherish me. And that gives me power in this relationship.

“You’re killing me.” He moves so quickly, I let out a little squeak as he switches our positions.

“I thought you said to take you.”

“And you did. Now it’s my turn. Are you wet?” He rises up, kneeling between my legs as his fingers slide through my folds. “Oh, yeah. You’re hot for me, baby.”

I arch into his touch.

“Who knew an old man like me could tempt such a young vixen like you?”

“Young vixen?”

He rubs his dick along my folds and my pussy spasms with need. “Yes. You’re just a babe.”

“I am not.”

He presses his tip in, and I whimper, needing more.

“There’s got to be ten years’ difference.”

“So?” I try to hunch closer, wanting to feel him deeper inside me.

“I’m old and you’re a babe.”

“You may be old, but?—”

He leans over and nips my ear. “This old man is full of tricks, and I want to use them all on you.” He presses in so slightly.

“I think this old man is full of talk and no action.”

His eyes fire with wild desire. He thrusts, driving himself fully into me.

“Yes… Liam… yes.” I grip his waist, wrapping my legs around his hips to keep him from escaping.

“Tell me again,” he says, his voice hoarse as he starts to move.

At first, I’m not sure what he’s asking. It can’t be the comment about all talk and no action. And then it comes to me.

“I love you.”

“Fuck yes…” He groans, levering up on his hands and giving free rein to this passion. I love watching it. The ever-controlled Liam, draped in darkness, lost in sweet pleasure. “Again, baby… again.”

“I love you.” I chant it like a mantra, the words in sync with his movements, until I can’t speak because pleasure floods over me, through me, and love emanates like a cocooning blanket around us.

All I want is here with this man. Forever.