28. Kate

What did he just say?

“Tell him how much I love him and his mother.”

His words come back to me, seeping into my heart, into my soul, and yet at the same time, shattering them because I finally have heard the words I wanted to hear, but now he”s gone.

I rush to the door, flinging it open and going into the hall, wanting to catch him. I know I can”t stop him. But I can tell him I love him too.

I hurry to the stairs, but I don”t see him. I rush down to the door, but by the time I reach it, he”s in his SUV and heading down Niko”s long drive.

Grief overwhelms me and the tears come uncontrollably. My knees give way, and I sink to the floor as I watch the man I love leave me. The man who I now understand is thinking that he”s going to his death.

“Miss Walsh.” Rosa bends down next to me. ”Are you all right? What can I get you? Should I go get Don Leone?”

I push her hands that are trying to be helpful away and manage to pick myself up off the floor. ”Where”s his office?”

Her brows knit together in worry. ”He”s in a meeting?—”

”Please tell me.”

She points with her finger to her room off the foyer. I thank her and rush over, opening the door without knocking. I have a sense that it”s probably not wise to go barging into a Mafia Don”s office, but it”s too late for me to worry about that now.

Niko is standing leaning against his desk with his arms crossed. Donovan is leaning against the wall, while Lucy has been pacing the floor.

They all look at me, and when Lucy sees my distress, she comes over and wraps an arm around me. ”Did he hurt you?”

”What”s he doing? What are his plans?” I demand of Niko.

Niko”s eyes are soft, and yet at the same time, he retains a serious rigid stance. ”That”s not anything you need to know.”

”I”m not a child. I”ve been kidnapped to be sold into trafficking. I have been in a house that was blown up. I shot Liam to protect myself when I thought he was a bad guy. I think I”ve proven I”m able to endure the ugly, gritty side of the life you lead.”

”She’s got a point,” Donovan says.

”I know without a doubt that Liam would not want you to know what his plan is. And so I am not going to tell you.” Niko”s firmness tells me there will be no discussion.

I turn to Lucy. ”So you tell me.”

Her expression is apologetic. ”I”m sorry, honey, I can”t. I can”t betray Niko and Liam like that.”

I look at Donovan, who shrugs. “Sorry.”

I turn back to Niko. ”So, what happens now?”

”For now, you stay here at the compound with us. And anything you need, we’ll get for you. You need to see a doctor? We can arrange that.”

”What about my house? What about my bookstore?”

”I”ve taken care of those,” Lucy says. ”We hired a manager, so the store is running, and we have people watching your house.”

I nearly ask if they’re laundering money through my shop, but that’s not important right now.

I feel so helpless and lost. I throw up my arms. ”But what do I do?”

”Well, you can spend time with Elena. You”re welcome to make use of any of the amenities in the house and on the grounds,” Niko says. ”It shouldn”t be for long. And if everything goes as Liam has planned, you’ll be back in your house and your business soon.”

I hate this. My life is not my own. I”m worried sick about Liam. At this moment, I hate them all.

I stalk out of Niko”s office, and when I get to the foyer, I don”t know where to go. Should I go up to my room? Should I go find something to eat because I do have a baby who needs nourishment?

”You look like you”ve been talking to my brother.”

I turn around as Aria comes into the front door. ”He makes me feel the way you look.” She walks over to me, looping her arm through mine and guiding me toward the back of the house. ”Let”s go swap how much we hate Niko stories and have some lunch, eh?”

Since I have nothing else I can do, I let her guide me to the kitchen where she orders lunch from the staff and then guides me to a back terrace.

”So, what’s got your panties all in a bunch?” Aria asks as we wait for our lunch to be served.

”I”ve just lost the man that I love.”

Her snarky, flippant expression morphs into sympathy and sadness. ”Heartbreak is the worst thing ever, isn”t it?”

I wonder if that means things with her and Luca have not worked out. Has he left her for her own good, too?

Her eyes fill with tears. “Niko says it will pass.”

I shake my head. I know I’ll carry my broken heart for the rest of my days.

The next five days are more of the same. Profound grief and irritability. I”m angry at everyone, but especially at Niko, Elena, Donovan, and Lucy. Why are they able to live happy lives but I can”t?

I’m angry and scared for Liam all at the same time. What is he doing, and is he okay? If he purposely gets himself killed, I’m going to strangle him.

I make feeble attempts to distract myself. Today, I”m in the library trying to read but not being successful at it. I”ve tried to read the same page over and over for the last thirty minutes.

A commotion outside the library distracts me again.

”We don”t know what”s going on, Lucy. There”s nothing to explain.” Niko”s voice has that same firm tone that says not to contradict him.

”She deserves to know.” Lucy doesn”t seem to care that Niko is in Boss mode.

“There’s nothing to know. This isn’t the first time Liam has gone MIA.”

The words strike fear into my soul. Something”s gone wrong.

“Yeah, well, that wasn’t the plan.”

The library door opens and Lucy comes in.

Niko stands behind her, his expression the epitome of fuming. ”Lucy.”

Lucy ignores him and comes over to sit with me.

Immediately, tears are in my eyes. ”Is it Liam? Is he…?” I can”t bring myself to say the word.

Lucy takes my hands. ”We don”t know. What we do know is that he”s gone missing. We believe that Babichev has him.”

I stare at her, not wanting to believe what she”s saying.

”We”re doing everything we can to find him. And by him, I mean Liam. But we will also find Babichev and kill him if Liam wasn”t successful. We promised Liam we would do that, and we will. If Liam is gone, it won”t be in vain?—”

”If Liam”s gone, what’s the point?”

She draws me into a hug. ”The point is he wants you to live. He wants you and this baby to have a long and happy life. You’ll do that for him.”

I pull away. ”You don”t even like him.”

”It”s not that I don”t like him. It”s that I don”t like the way he”s treated you sometimes.”

”He”s only trying to protect me.” I suppose it”s ironic that I”m defending him on the very behavior that upset me about him.

”You must realize, don”t you, that he loves you?”

The memory of his asking me to tell the baby that he loves him and the baby”s mother comes back to me.

”She”s right,” Niko says. ”I”ve known Liam since we were boys. There”s no way Liam would”ve gone out on a limb in the FBI or even in the Bratva for anyone.”

I look up at Niko. ”He’d do it for you.”

”True. But I’ve never seen him behave with anyone the way he has with you.”

”What”s going on?” Elena enters the library. When she sees Niko and Lucy, her expression turns worried. ”Oh, no. Did something happen to Liam?”

”We don”t know that anything has happened to Liam. We just haven’t heard from him, and he’s not where he said he’d be.” Niko puts his arm around Elena.

”What about Babichev?” she asks.

”We’re still not certain about that. But whatever happens, I”m keeping my word to Liam,” Niko says to me. “You’ll be back in your regular life. I promise.”

I stare up at Niko. ”What if Liam”s okay? What if you find him, and you kill Babichev?”

Niko’s eyes narrow, and he glances at Lucy as if he’s not sure what I’m asking. “That would be good. Liam would be alive and you can live your life.”

“But not together.”

Lucy squeezes my hand. ”It”s Liam”s wish that you live a normal life outside the one we live. You didn”t ask for this?—”

”You didn’t either.”

Lucy looks to Elena, who comes over and sits on the coffee table, putting her hands over Lucy”s that are holding mine.

”We didn”t ask to be in this life growing up. But we both made the choice to be in it now because that”s where the men we love are.”

”I was going to tell him I would choose it too, but he wouldn”t let me.”

”Well, then, when he comes back, you”re just going to have to try harder,” Lucy says sternly. ”That”s the thing, Kate. These men, they get big egos because they”re powerful and control big and important things. But they don”t have to control you. Do you think I let Donovan boss me around?”

”I don”t even try, darlin”.” Donovan”s voice enters the conversation. I glance over and see him smiling and winking at Lucy.

“But you are a leader,” I argue.

“I’m not.” Elena’s smile is soft. “But I don’t let Niko boss me around.”

“I’ve tried,” Niko quips.

”The point is, there is a structure of power. And there are times you might have to do what you”re told because that”s what”s going to keep you safe. But you don”t have to become a doormat,” Lucy explains.

I manage a smile and yet inside, I know none of this matters. If Liam is okay, he is still going to push me away.

”We should help you,” Elena says.

I frown. ”What, like a makeover or something?”

Lucy laughs. “God, no. You’re gorgeous.”

”Not makeover in terms of how you look. But a tutorial about how to live in our world. About how to be married to a man who is important and powerful, but sometimes dangerous,” Elena says.

”About when you need to listen and when you need to stand your ground,” Lucy adds.

I nod, accepting their help because focusing on the possibility of convincing Liam to bring me into his world is better than worrying about whether he is dead.