12. Priest

I tossand turn in my bed, trying to get some sleep. The more I try, the more restless I become. Tonight things changed.

Bella told me she faked her own death. What kind of fucked up shit is this?

Her arranged marriage was with a violent man who wanted nothing more than to control her, along with the fucked up shit she's already told me about her family, and now she's living on the streets — which doesn't seem to be any worse off for her. Dead people can't go home. I feel a sense of sadness in me that I haven't felt in a long time. It's not just the fact that I have a connection with Bella, but I feel the wrongdoings that have happened to her are deeply etched into my soul.

This is how it is for me when I feel a deep connection with someone, even a stranger. I take on the personal problems as my own, and I want to fix them.

I want to make it better. I want to show her that not everybody is a complete schmuck. That good people still exist. That they don't always want something in return. Of course, I'm lying to myself when I say that, because there is something that I want. Something that I shouldn't be thinking about because Bella is under my protection, and she's someone I care about. Yet, I can't deny that every time I touch her, it feels like my veins are burning. Like I can't go another minute, unless my fingers can feel her soft, warm skin. And that isn't right. Trust me, I wish I didn't feel it.

I'm at a crossroad.

I meant everything I said. I just left out the part where she does things to me that even I can't explain. I'm attracted to her. What kind of person does that make me? She needs someone to help her, not try to get into her pants — not that that's what I'm trying to do — I'm not a twisted sick fuck like Rueben, and his time will come very soon. But there's a chemistry between us that is dangerous. Yes, I'm helping her out because I do care about what happens to her and I truly want her to get back on her feet. But hearing this news complicates things.

If her family is prominent in New Orleans, that means she's not safe from being seen. They'd want her back. These people are dangerous. I need to find out who she's related to and who these people are. Faking your own death is pretty fuckin' extreme. The fact that she would rather live like this than to live another day with them tells me everything I need to know.

Now, as I lie wide awake in bed, I wonder if this was such a good idea. I mean, I knew I had to do something. After what that asshole did to her last night, I couldn't leave her at the shelter. She got away, but that doesn't mean that he isn't still stalking her, and waiting to get her alone again. She shouldn't have to live in fear. Just because she has no place to go, doesn't mean that her problems are any less important or should be thrown under the rug and forgotten about.

What kind of friend would that make me?

She talks about needing confession and I think I do too. Especially after the incident in the dressing room. I can't stop thinking about it. I need Dan to throw fuckin' holy water over my entire body to rid myself of these illicit thoughts about her in see-through underwear. I don't even think that I could repent for the sins that I want to commit to the beautiful, mysterious woman staying in my house.

I also know I have to talk to Cash about it. He has to know if something dangerous is going on, and I'm gonna need Jett and Rock's help with tracking down Rueben if I can't find him in the usual places he hangs out. I can't keep that from the club, and they'll want to help find this asshole and stop him from hurting anyone else.

Suddenly, I hear movement by the door as it creaks open. I sit up in bed and I see Bella's silhouette.

"Bella?"

"I'm sorry, I heard a noise outside and I got scared." She hovers around the doorway, but my heart strings tug just a little at her wavering voice.

"Are you okay?"

"I… I don't know. I've never slept in a house where I'm completely alone in a long time."

I swallow hard. I know I shouldn't be doing this but I pat the bed beside me. "Did you want to sit for a second?"

She moves closer to me and my eyes drift down her body. She's wearing her new pj bottoms and my sweatshirt... I can see her nipples pebbled through the thin fabric and my dick hardens. I divert my gaze.

Send her away.

Send her away now!

"Just for a minute, if that's okay?" she whispers. She's been crying; her face is a little puffy and red.

I move across, keeping the sheets above my waist. I sleep naked but she doesn't need to know that.

"I can go check outside if you'd feel better?"

She climbs in under the fucking covers and my heart rate skips a beat.

"I had a bad dream, that's all."

"Did you want to talk about it?"

She shakes her head, rolling on her side to face me. "I just got scared."

How the fuck am I supposed to do this with her now in my bed?

My dick is painfully hard and I can't even adjust it without her seeing. She'll think I'm a dirty old pervert if I start touching myself.

I glance down at her as she closes her eyes.

"I can make you tea. I hear chamomile helps relax the nerves." If only my club brothers could hear me now. I wait for her reply, casting my eyes down her pretty face.

A few moments later, her soft breathing tells me she's fast asleep. In all of two minutes.

I stare at her, unmoving. She can't sleep here…

I'm well aware that me making her feel safe has made her feel that this is normal; climbing into my bed. But she's not trying to fuck me. She's literally terrified and feels safe with me around.

She feels safe with me around.

I run a hand over my hair.

I've made this harder than it needs to be. I've given her some sense of false hope between us — or does she really just want to sleep here? I guess so, since it took all of five seconds before she was sound asleep. She's probably exhausted from lack of sleep last night and her injuries. The swelling has gone down but she's now starting to bruise.

I quietly shift, moving so my legs are out of bed and my feet planted on the floor. Tossing a look over my shoulder, I quickly slide my boxer briefs on and head to the bathroom. I take a leak and stare at myself in the mirror for a few moments.

Don't deny that you like this idea.

I swallow hard.

I like the idea of her being close, but the idea of us together… it evokes something in me that feels forbidden, even though we're both two consenting adults. I don't want to do anything while she's also going through this trauma. She probably doesn"t know what she wants, and here I am inviting her into my home and now she's in my bed.

Those weren't my intentions.

I push off the sink and head back to bed. She hasn't moved. She's curled up, her dark hair strewn across my pillows and cascading down, making her look like some kind of angel. A beautiful angel. One that must be protected at all costs.

I slide, as quietly as I can without waking her, back into bed. I roll onto my back with one arm behind my head. If I thought sleep would come to me before, I was deluding myself about it coming now she's next to me. Yet, when I feel my eyes starting to close, I don't fight it. I give in. I let the soft lull of her breathing soothe me into the deepest sleep I've had in years.

When I wake, I'm hot.

It's then I realize there's a warm body pressed up against me, in my bed. I crack an eye open and I see the back of Bella's head. Her soft, dark waves smell like coconut shampoo and my dick instantly hardens. I've never brought a woman back here. I use the clubhouse for my extracurricular activities.

What's worse? Her ass is pressed up against my dick and my arm is slung around her.

We're fucking spooning. She's ripped off my sweatshirt; the thin fabric of the tank she has on is all that separates our bodies.

This can't be happening. We were miles away from one another last night, now she's snuggled up against me and I've fucking let it happen. My dick may not be able to be controlled around her, but I certainly can. I begin to slide my arm off her when she moves, brushing her ass against my cock as I let out a silent hiss. I swear I've never had a woman make me feel like this since I was in fucking high school and I'd just discovered sex.

I grind my teeth but before I can make my escape, she rolls over to face me. In the process her tank comes loose and one of her nipples peeks out of the top. Holy shit.

My mouth waters at the dark, rosy peak.

When I lift my eyes from her body, I meet her sleepy gaze.

"Morning, Priest."

I swallow hard. "Mornin'."

"This is kinda weird, huh?"

I chuckle, feeling a little bashful. "A little."

She doesn't even realize she's flashing me or that my cock is pounding, ready to explode.

"I had a great sleep."

Funnily enough, so did I. It seems I sleep a lot better when she's around. "That's good to hear."

Should I pull her strap up? Fuck, those tits…

"I should make us some coffee." She goes to move, then as my eyes flick down for one last look, she realizes. "Oh." Her gaze lifts again.

"I was goin' to say somethin'…"

Instead of looking flushed or embarrassed, she doesn't move to lift her strap. Instead, she stares at me and then says, "Do you like what you see, Priest?"

My eyes meet hers. "We can't do this."

"Do you not want me?"

"It's not that. I'm… I've sworn an oath… to… to protect you no matter what…"

"I don't need protection from you. You said it yourself that you're not a priest. We don't need to feel ashamed."

"There's something else you should know." I clear my throat. "I've been abstaining for a little while."

She blinks a couple of times. "Abstaining?"

I nod. "I've been celibate for over six months… In order to start over. I wasn't feeling in a good place a while back, or with the choices I was making with women."

Her face softens. Wait, this isn't meant to be a come-on, if anything it's meant to turn her off!

I don't deserve her. A lump forms in my throat.

"Is that the only reason… That you don't want to do this?"

"It isn't that I don't want to, Bella… But you're so young…"

"I'm not that young. But abstaining is a choice. You haven't always done that." Of course, she makes a great argument. I haven't.

"A choice I made because I need to cleanse myself. To feel like a better human being. But you, little one. I can't deny that fact you're tempting."

"Then please me," she whispers. "That isn't the same as pleasing yourself, is it? Only I'm committing a sin."

My lips part. Holy fucking shit.

I smirk. My innocent little Bella. I'm leaking from my tip, I want her so bad. None of these things I can tell her, of course. If only I'd sent her back to her room, none of this would be happening right now…

"Seeing your body on display, Bella. That would be punishment enough. I don't want to… to hurt you."

"But you like women?"

"Of course."

"Just not me? In that way?" She sounds genuinely curious.

My eyes flick to her nipple again — she hasn't even bothered to cover herself. "You know that's not true."

"Prove it."

"You don't know what you're askin'."

She cups my face. "Yes, I do. I'm not as innocent as you think. I want you to touch me."

"Says the virgin who's never been touched before."

"I want it to be you. I want you to make me feel good."

My dick kicks against the fabric of my boxers. I've never been so hard in my life.

If she even thinks about touching my dick, I'll come in my pants like a fucking teenager.

The trouble is, I know I can make her feel good. I know I can give her what she needs.

"Nobody has to know," she whispers.

I smirk. "You think it works that way?"

"Why not?"

"You're Catholic. A woman who was saving herself for marriage. I don't need to spell it out for you, little one."

She looks deep in thought until she says, "I have an idea."

Uh, oh. I quirk a brow.

"We could fool around, and then we go to Confession and be absolved."

I chuckle. "You've really thought about this, haven't you?"

She reaches up to her shoulder as my eyes follow her movements. Slowly, she lets her other tank strap fall sideways and her other breast pops out.

My dick can't take anymore. I stare at her bare breasts like I've never seen a pair before. And it feels like the first time. They're a small handful, but perky, and those rosy buds are begging for my attention.

With a low mewl I tear my eyes away from her perfect tits and she challenges me with her eyes.

"Taste me, Priest. I need to feel your mouth on me, just once."

"Is that why you came in here? To do this to me?"

She shakes her head. "I was scared last night… I swear…"

I reach out and run a thumb over her lips and her eyes close. I don't mean to, but I trace the outline of her mouth, imagining her taking my cock. Hell, yes. When her lips part and she sucks on my thumb, her eyes open and stare up at me with wonder.

"Jesus, you're beautiful," I mutter.

"Put your mouth on me, Priest," she whispers, biting the pad of my thumb. "Please."

Her words are my undoing. I only have so much restraint. With her tits right in my face and my hardened dick unable to contain himself, I need to feel her too. I need to make her come for the first time while still keeping her virtue intact. I want to hear my name on her lips.

Before I know what I'm doing, I close the gap with my mouth and suck on her tight nipple as she almost bucks off the bed. Her arms wrap around my neck as I suck harder and she cries out loud. My hand cups her other tit as I pull and pluck on it, earning me more pleasurable moans.

"Priest," she whispers.

I move my mouth to the other nipple, suckling as she kneads her fingers into the back of my head.

"Can I make you come like this?" I groan. "Without touchin' that sweet pussy?"

"Oh."

I pull on her wet nipple with my fingers, my tongue doing overtime as I enjoy her sweetness, ignoring my own growing problem down below.

"I want you to touch me," she cries. "Between my legs."

Our eyes meet and she watches me sucking her. Suddenly she's yanking my head up and our lips crash together. Oh, holy fuck. There's a whole world waiting right there against her mouth. Her lips are soft and sweet, her tongue meeting mine as we kiss like long lost lovers. When we break free, I'm panting, and so is she.

I reach down and adjust myself, dying to pull her pj pants down and sink into her pussy. Even if I know I'm not gonna do that, it plays havoc in my mind.

"Touch me," she moans. "Please, Priest, I'm so close."

One time couldn't hurt.

One time and then that's it.

I'll give her an orgasm and then I'll walk away. I'll never touch her again.

I shift, moving over her as I reach down again and suck one nipple, then the other.

"Slide your pjs down."

She immediately does as I say, the tiny little scrap of lace covering her barely there pussy comes into view as I keep my eyes firmly on hers. She's so fucking sweet.

If those panties come off, all bets are off, too.

I groan when I slide my hand under her waist band and find her freshly shaved and so fucking wet that she soaks my hand. All the blood rushes to my dick.

"So wet for me, Bella?"

She runs her hands down my body, feeling all of my muscles and I let her. My dick presses up against her thigh. So close, yet so far.

"Rub yourself on me," she breathes.

I shake my head. "The deal was your pleasure, little one, not mine."

"But…"

I press a finger to her lips. I'm barely holding on here, and I can't let this go any farther than me fingering her. I swirl my fingers through her wet folds, groaning as she soaks my fingers.

"So fuckin' sweet," I mutter. "Has anyone given you pleasure like this before?"

She shakes her head.

Good.

I swirl my thumb over her clit and incomprehensible words leave her mouth. She shudders as I press harder, watching her face change as she crunches her eyes closed and lets go. She comes as I swirl my thumb around and around. She presses up into my hand, grinding as she cries out; "Priest!" Her orgasm takes a hold and I watch as she rides through it, her breathing hitching in her chest as her skin pinkens delightfully.

Her hands grip the back of my neck as I hover over her. "That's it, let go. Tell me what I do to you, Bella. How I make you feel."

I play with her folds, pulling on her labia gently as she moans.

"You make me feel alive," she whispers. "Put a finger inside me, Priest."

I don't want to take her virginity that way. No. I can't finger fuck her like that… but if I went one knuckle… I'm sliding in before I can even stop myself and she moans my name like a silent prayer on her lips. It isn't deep, but it's enough. Both of our sins combine as I move my finger in and out slowly. She's so tight. I can't even imagine what it would feel like to have my dick inside that tight little hole.

I finger her in and out, careful not to go too deep, when I slide a second finger in, she grips my biceps and what I'd give for her to slide my boxers down and cup my dick. If she does, I won't stop her. But this is about her, not me. This is all about my sweet little Bella and making her feel good.

Even if I know it's wrong and that we should stop, I just want to give her one more. Then another. Then another. Until she can't remember anyone else"s name except mine.