20. alessia

20

ALESSIA

The next morning, I woke up alone, the haze of the night's memories slowly coming into my mind. Recollecting every detail sent a fire to scorch my core. Memories of his knife…getting pushed against the wall made my heart flutter, heat fueling my every pulse, just like it did when he kissed me.

He trusted me to take off his mask, and even though I haven't asked him about it, a part of me feels like he's never done that with anyone before. But it was just one night…

And in that one night, he ignited a storm—a storm I want to ride through and risk, take all of those strong winds, and go through them with him.

After Daegan and I interacted in the hallway, I escaped into his bedroom, did as I was told, and locked the door. God, I was praying that he would kick the door down and do all those things he said he would. But with my luck, he disappeared from the house in less than twenty minutes after receiving that call.

His eyes, his scars…his knife.

I'll never be able to look at his knife the same again. Not only because he made me have the best orgasm in my entire life all over it, but because of Frankie.

He stabbed a man for assaulting me and then fucked me with the same weapon all in one night. This man was making me question my own sanity. I shockingly slept like a baby last night despite the fear of Daegan's house alarm system going off and being alone for who knows how long.

Crying over Jack and Bailey's betrayal drained my energy, and my eyes were heavy ever since. It only makes sense that I fell into a deep slumber, even when my worries ran rampant.

I took a quick shower in the morning—our flight overseas is not until late in the afternoon. I watched Daegan's dried blood run down the drain, my mind clouding with work. My first deployment in Iraq will start, and the unknown claws at me.

It's only six months long…but in a weird way, I think this will give me time to heal. I'll be away from my home, away from this military town. I can't look at my room without getting hit with good and bad memories.

I make a mental note to throw out my bed and get a new one.

When I unlock my door and head towards the living room, I'm in Daegan's clothes. His clothing swallows my frame, and his shirt and sweatpants are loose at the ends. The fabric is smooth and soft against my skin.

The smell of coffee hits me, and my mouth waters. Daegan stands tall in his kitchen, the bright golden rays shining through his windows, illuminating his beautiful body.

Of course, the person tasked with my life for the next few months has to be devastatingly handsome, twisted with masculinity, and quiet and mysterious.

"Coffee?" he asks, pouring it into a mug. The fumes from the hot, black coffee seep above the mug. He isn't wearing a mask anymore.

"Sure." I politely tell him, sitting across from him on a bar stool. The mug glides across the counter, slow and soft, like he's afraid to touch me.

We sit in an eerie, awkward silence, drinking coffee. I look at him, wanting him to say something…anything. He's unpredictable. One minute, he's quiet, and the next, a ghost.

I hold the mug above my lips, tempted to break the silence and address last night's activities.

I open my mouth, sucking in a breath, but he beats me to it like he can read my mind. Maybe my emotions are written all over my face. I've never been good at hiding them.

"What I did…crossed the line. You are the Admiral's daughter."

Anger seeps into my veins.

"Stepdaughter," I interrupt him like a stubborn child.

"Nonetheless, you're related to the man. He is my boss. I love my job. I love being a part of this team. I won't ever touch you again." His tone is cold and distant. It's like he's miles away, but in reality, it's only inches. His kitchen counter is the only thing that separates us.

"Daegan, stop. We're adults. We knew the consequences of our actions, and I would do it again. I wouldn't change a thing about last night. No one needs to know what we do behind closed doors. It doesn't interfere with our work or our professionalism. We can?—"

"Alessia Sahara Valentin. You don't know me. I'm not a good man. If you let me in, you'll regret it. I won't hold your hand, I won't sweet talk your ear off, and I won't invest my time into a relationship with you or anyone for that matter. I'm committed to my work." He palms the counter with both hands, his fingers gripping it hard. His scars around one eye twitch with stipulation as he stares into me.

I can't hold his gaze. It's too much. He's just too much, and I'm in over my head.

My heart sinks with the hope we can continue to get to know each other. He's ending whatever chemistry we shared last night. What did I expect? We agreed to only one night. I'm the one that's pushing for more. He's a man of his word, I guess.

I blink rapidly, looking at the hot liquid instead of his grey entrapping eyes. What does he want me to say to that? It's for the best, anyway. I just got out of a relationship. I just got cheated on. It's…for the best.

"Last night didn't exist. It was pretend, remember?" I remind him. I place my mug down as my appetite disappears. I force my confused feelings away, locking them far into my mind. I get off the bar counter, and head for the front door. Even through my peripheral vision, he stiffens, but he's still stone-cold and unreadable.

I slip on my cowgirl boots. "I need to get my stuff, and then I'm stopping by my mother's place." I give him a cold shoulder and open the door to his house. I'm going to call an Uber now that my phone is fully charged. Walking into the sunlight, I close his door softly.

I need to focus—Daegan's right. Our careers come first, and he's a distraction. I have a job to do. I have to prove that I belong there overseas with them. I didn't get to where I was because of Ravenmore or because of the imprint my mother left while she was in the Navy.

If he wants to be cold towards me, I can respect that and move on. Maybe the chemistry we shared, the stolen glances, and the soul-consuming kisses were all in my head. Either way, it doesn't matter—not anymore.

I'm on my way back to my apartment around nine in the morning. Daegan insisted he drive me back to my place, but I refused, begging him to respect my decision to go home and recollect my things alone after last night. I told him I would be okay. But he wouldn't let up. We stood there arguing on his front porch, back and forth, until finally, he had no choice but to let me go once the Uber arrived.

That night was…euphoric. And it's now over, back to reality where I just found out my best friend and boyfriend had been fucking each other behind my back. I knew our relationship was coming to an end. I knew it was. A part of me had a thread of hope, and that thread would hang on because Jack and I have been friends since high school. Then, together throughout college. But he's no longer that dorky guy who made me laugh and picked me flowers from the courtyard on campus.

No.

He's the guy who betrayed me and had the nerve to tell me I was a lousy girlfriend.

When I get to my doorstep, I find Bailey hugging her knees, cradling herself with worried lines under her dark eyes.

I roll my eyes when the Uber parks the car in the driveway.

She's crying? Really?

I thank the Uber driver, getting my bag and hooking it over my shoulder as I try my hardest not to run up to her and rip her to shreds. Instead, I remind myself not to sink to her level and pretend she's not sitting there sulking in her guilt I want no part of.

As soon as I stand before her, she gets up, brushes off her knees, and wipes her wet cheeks.

"Alessia, please forgive me. I'm sorry, I've just been lonely, and your friendship means the world to me."

"Meant." I correct her, fighting back tears of my own. I open the door, taking my key out of the hole. "Our friendship meant the world to you. Now we're strangers. It's funny how this world works, right? It's funny how you go from sleepovers, jokes, and thinking you had someone you can lean on until you realize everyone is on their own chasing their own selfish goals, no matter who gets hurt, right?" I step inside and slam the door in her face. Letting my back hit the door, I slide down until I'm sitting, finally succumbing to the hurt I hid last night.

"Please don't do this. Please don't drop me from your life," Bailey begs through the door with muffled pleas.

"No, Bailey! You dropped me from your life the moment you decided that our friendship wasn't worth keeping over a guy," I bellow out, crying. "I told you about him. I told you the things we would go through, how I thought he was lying to me when I had my suspicions, and you were behind it all? Fucking my boyfriend? You can have him, Bailey. I don't need this."

"Fine, Alessia! Fine! Drop me! Jack is right. You are stubborn and don't listen to anyone. No wonder he came crawling to me."

Oh, God. I'm not going to entertain this any longer. I meant it when I said they're meant for each other. I don't need this right now. I'm leaving tonight, and I need to get dressed.

I scoff, licking my teeth and rubbing the tears away. I get up from the floor and head for my bedroom. I promise myself that this will be the last time I'll ever cry over them.

I open the door, swinging it open, ready to go straight to the bathroom. I tuck my fingers underneath Daegan's all-black shirt, but a bouquet of black colored sunflowers sits in the center of my kitchen table, wrapped in brown paper with one single bright yellow in the center of them all.

Who? What?

How?

Is this Jack's lame attempt to apologize? He's never bought me flowers before, so why start now? If he thinks flowers will get me to crawl back to him, he's got it all wrong. I no longer want anything from him. I've never been so sure of a decision in my life.

I grab the bouquet of flowers, and my phone buzzes.

Unknown: Happy birthday.

It's my stalker again.