Chapter Eleven

"Mom sent me out with a sweater for you," Garnett said as he walked across their parents" backyard.

Jewell sat in the A-frame swing in a corner of the yard. She smiled as her brother approached and scooted to the end of the seat to give him room. A crisp autumn breeze stirred the dry leaves littering the lawn and the scent of earth and rain hung heavy in the air. October was halfway gone and November was just around the corner. It was Jewell"s favorite time of the year.

Garnett sat down and wrapped the bulky sweater around her shoulders as she slipped her arms into the big sleeves. Jewell smiled as the comforting scent of pipe tobacco and cologne coming from her father"s sweater wrapped around her heart and warmed it as surely as the wool warmed her arms. A hundred wonderful memories came back to her in an instant, all triggered by the smell of Daddy. Sweet emotion tightened her throat and Jewell wrapped the rough wool close to her chin. Her brother"s arm moved around her shoulders and squeezed gently, and Jewell let her head fall against him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, a concerned, questioning tone in his voice. "All day you"ve seemed quiet. Is there something bothering you?"

Jewell sighed. No one in the world knew her like Garnett did. From the first day she walked into the Kincaid home he assumed the position of big brother in full force. The first few months, when she woke during the night crying, he came to her, told her stories, and stroked her hair until she fell asleep again. He told her nothing bad would ever happen to her again because Mama and Daddy loved her. Their love was special, and that made her special. For a long time, it was just Jewell and Garnett.

"Garnett, do you remember much before coming here?"

"You mean before I was adopted?"

She nodded.

"Some. Not much. Just some quick images and feelings more than anything else."

"Do you remember your parents?" It was his turn to nod. "What do you remember about them?"

Garnett looked off across the yard to the tree house they built in the oak tree. Small smile wrinkles formed at the corners of his eyes. "I remember going to a Red Sox game at Fenway Park. My dad bought me a foot-long hot dog and nachos. We were on the third base line and he caught a foul ball for me.

"I remember my mom tucking me into bed at night. She always kissed my forehead, then my cheeks, then my nose. We"d say our prayers together and she"d sing to me before leaving. And she smelled like roses. Just little memories like that. I remember feeling empty and black inside until the social worker brought me to this house." In emphasis, he nodded toward the large farmhouse they all grew up in.

The sway of the swing soothed Jewell like the rocking of a cradle. Her brother"s embrace made her feel safe and at ease. Jewell smiled when she saw her mother"s face peek through the kitchen curtain to check if she wore her sweater.

"Do you remember anything?" Garnett asked in turn.

"Nothing like you remember, no. I never lived with my mother. I have no memory of her at all. All I remember was moving. Leaving one foster home for another. Lots of faces, but no names. The first really clear memory I have is the day I came here.

"I was scared. I was always scared when I went to a new place. But the lady who brought me told me I wouldn"t move again. I don"t think I believed her. Then we came into the foyer and I was amazed at the size of the house. It seemed huge to me. And Daddy seemed even bigger. He picked me up and hugged me so tight." Jewell"s throat constricted around the powerful emotion the memory created. "He called me Pipsqueak and his beard tickled my cheek. His jacket was rough, but it smelled so good. Then Mama held me, and she was so soft and warm. It was the first time in my life I ever understood what love felt like. I didn"t have a name for it then, but it wrapped around me and made me feel safe."

Garnett kissed her temple. "What got you thinking about this? It seems like more than just recalling old memories."

She nodded slowly. "It"s Benjamin. I witnessed something at his house Friday night. Ever since, I haven"t been able to stop thinking about it."

"What happened?"

"I was walking up the front walk and all I could hear was yelling and screaming. It was Benjamin"s parents. His father called him all kinds of horrible names. Said terrible, terrible things. He wasn"t signing, just yelling. And Benjamin"s mother just stood there, doing very little to stop any of it. Benjamin tried to tell him he didn"t understand. His sister was there and the man kept calling her a little whore and as stupid as her brother." Tears choked Jewell"s words.

Garnett"s arm tightened around her shoulder in comfort. She wiped at the tears as they cooled on her cheeks. With a shaky breath, she continued.

"I have never seen anything in anyone before like the pain I saw in Benjamin"s face. He puts up walls. I knew that the moment I met him. Once in a while, I think the real Benjamin sneaks through. But that night…" She couldn"t continue, the massive emotions in her throat choked out all speech.

Hot tears burned her eyes and she wiped them away with a vicious hatred for the words that had caused Benjamin pain and hatred for her inability to make it go away. Her heart ached for him. She wanted so much to give him the comfort he needed but didn"t know how. Partially because she somehow knew he wouldn"t admit to it in the first place.

"What happened?" Garnett asked in a soft, gentle tone.

Jewell reined in her emotion and took a fortifying breath. As best she could, she described the events of the evening. Everything from the shove that broke the vase, to his father"s attempt to choke Benjamin against the wall. Because it was Garnett, and they had always been close, she told him about the desperation and need she felt when he embraced her. He held her until her lungs burned to breathe.

When Benjamin kissed her, there was something in the intimate caress that hadn"t been there previously. Jewell sensed need, anguish, and desperation in the way he devoured her mouth with rough intensity. His fingers pressed into her skin so hard, trying to bring her closer to him, the flesh showed slight bruises the next morning. But Jewell didn"t begrudge the faint marks. His embrace was so powerful, that she wondered if he would ever let go.

"You never said there was something going on between the two of you," Garnett stated.

Jewell shrugged and sighed. "I don"t know if there is or isn"t. I"m still trying to figure that part out."

"Sounds like it"s more than just working together."

Jewell"s cheeks warmed despite the cool evening air, and she avoided meeting her brother"s gaze. She"d already told Greg about the kisses in the office and the dinner he made for her, and he"d reminded her of his opinion on work romances.

Don"t go there. Ever.

She never intended it to happen, it just did.

"Jewell…"

"We"ve kissed. We"ve spent some time together. If that constitutes "something going on", then I guess there is," she finally admitted, glancing sideways at Garnett.

He was silent for a few moments. She studied the fraying edge of her father"s sweater sleeve, toying with the worn strings, waiting for him to say something. Finally, he chuckled. "I"ll probably get in trouble, but I know a little secret about the two of you."

Jewell looked up at him and arched one eyebrow.

"Ruby told me something she saw," Garnett finally offered.

"Ruby? Something she saw?"

"She said she got up earlier this week and saw you and Benjamin on the couch. Apparently asleep. Looked like you"d been there all night, she said. She hid in the kitchen when she saw him get up."

Jewell slouched down in the swing and crossed her arms over her body. Her face warmed, and she hoped Garnett would attribute the color to the cool wind blowing across the yard.

"He showed up at the apartment around midnight. For weeks he had been acting like a jerk in the office. It kind of came to a head that day and I kinda told him off. Benjamin left the office and was gone the rest of the day. He said he wanted to apologize for the way he acted. It was strange because I assumed he came to fire me."

"So he stayed all night?"

"We just started talking. He saw a photo album on the table and looked at it. Things like that. We fell asleep, or at least, I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, very late I might add, he wasn"t there."

"Ruby said he kissed you before he left. She saw him fix the pillows, cover you with an afghan, and kiss your cheek before sneaking out."

Jewell"s heart nearly burst and new tears rushed to her eyes. They were no longer tears of anger or sadness. What a precious, utterly sweet thing for him to do!

"Really?" she managed to whisper.

Garnett smiled and nodded. "That"s what Ruby said. I don"t see any reason for her to make it up."

They fell into a comfortable silence as the swing rocked brother and sister back and forth. The dry leaves on the ground swirled up in miniature twisters as the evening breeze swept through the yard. The dry rustle was a soothing song.

"Do you think you love him?"

"That"s a hell of a question."

"That"s no answer."

She looked at her brother and smiled at the curious twinkle in his dark eyes. Jewell knew she could hide nothing from him. Finally, she nodded. "I think I could."

"How does he feel?"

"We haven"t talked about it."

"Have you been intimate?"

Her face burned hotter. Jewell folded her hands together and squeezed them between her knees. "No. Honestly, Garnett, just two or three kisses. He has been a complete gentleman."

"So, what are you going to do about it?"

"You"re pushy this evening." Jewell jumped off the swing and stepped away across the lawn. Her leather boots scuffed on the damp grass. "You"re not going to lecture me about getting involved with someone at work?"

"You mean your boss."

She kept her head down, shuffling her boots in the leaves.

"Kiddo, if the two of you fall in love, then that"s it. Nothing is going to make him love you if he doesn"t, or make you not love him if you do."

"Oh, that is so encouraging. Thank you."

Garnett stood and wrapped her in his arms. Jewell willingly gave in to the embrace and let her head fall on his shoulder. He smoothed and kissed her hair and rocked her gently. The back screen door opened and shut with a loud bang. They both looked to see Pearl running across the yard dressed in a fairy princess costume. Silver gossamer wings flapped behind her and taffeta petals in multiple pastel shades danced around her legs.

"Garnett! Jewell!" she called as she ran, magic wand high in the air. Her speech had improved so much in the last couple of years. She tucked the wand under her arm to sign. "Look at my costume. Mama just finished it."

They pulled their sister into their embrace, and she looked up with glowing cheeks and twinkling eyes. With a smile the size of Texas, Pearl showed them each little detail and nuance their mother lovingly put into the costume. She took Garnett"s hands and tugged him toward the house.

"Come on," Pearl begged with a curl of her hand. "Mama just took some pumpkin chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. Let"s get them while they"re all hot and gooey."

They both chuckled and followed the fair-haired fairy into the house where the enticing aroma of cookies and gingerbread met them at the door. With autumn came her mother"s need to bake, anything and everything. From now through Christmas, the house would be in a perpetual state of chaos and mouthwatering scents of cookies, pies, breads, and cakes. More than they could eat in a year, and many ended up going to the church for a homeless outreach program. Whether they ate them, or not, she welcomed the memories that came with each inhale.

She looked at her mother, who bent to take another sheet of cookies from the oven. Pearl stood nearby, a wide grin on her face with melted chocolate clumps on each cheek. The soft thud of boots sounded in the hall from the foyer and her father entered the kitchen, his pipe in one hand and a newspaper tucked under his other arm. He smiled and crossed the kitchen first to her mother, kissing her cheek as she slid the cookies off the sheet, and stole a fairly cooled cookie as he turned.

"Hey, Pipsqueak," her father said around the cookie in his mouth and kissed her forehead. The fresh aroma of his pipe wafted around her.

"I wonder what Benjamin"s memories are like…" she mumbled, more to herself than anyone else.

Garnett looked at her, his cheek rounded with the pumpkin cookie he"d shoved in his mouth. "You say something?"

Jewell shook her head. "No, I was just thinking."

Her childhood memories were clouded and dark, and the warmth and love of this house—this kitchen—had washed them all away. Benjamin wasn"t a child, but she wondered if maybe she could share some of the peace this family had brought to her. She was halfway down the hall to the front door before her father called after her.

Jewell stopped and swiveled back, smiling at her dad. "I"ll be back soon."

* * *

Benjamin caught sight of his sister in the kitchen as he hit the bottom of the stairs into the front hallway. He was about to say her name when she spoke to someone on the other side of the kitchen, her lips spreading in a wide smile. He assumed Dillon had come by, so walked past the kitchen entryway, letting them have some time to themselves. Two steps from his study, small hands curled around his arm, stopping him.

He looked down at his sister, immediately returning her smile. She tugged on his arm, drawing him back toward the kitchen. "Come on. I was just going to go find you."

"Why?"

She just smiled wider and took his hand, pulling him to the kitchen. He didn"t understand why until he rounded the corner and stopped short. Jewell stood on the other side of the kitchen, the center island between them, beautiful with her loose hair windblown and a soft blush in her cheeks.

She raised a hand in a small wave. "Hi."

"Hi," he waved back, rounding the island. "When did you get here?"

"Just a few minutes ago. Victoria and I were talking." Her gaze shifted past him to Victoria before looking up at him again.

Benjamin leaned forward to hold her cheeks in his hands and kiss her. Just a brief touch, but a jolt of awareness hit him at the contact, and he immediately wanted more. He realized on one level that in any other relationship he"d had, he"d be more than annoyed at the surprise, uninvited intrusion. But beyond the fact that he was surprised to see her on a Sunday afternoon, he was far from annoyed. He rubbed his lips together as he pulled back, running his tongue across his lower lip.

"Chocolate?"

Jewell grinned and nodded. "My mom has been baking. Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies."

"Did you bring me any?" he teased.

She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and raised her hands. "Actually…" She stilled her signs, giving him a smile that made his blood warm beneath his skin. "That"s kind of what I came about."

"Cookies?"

"Cookies. And pie. And raw apple brownies," she said, ticking off each item on a fingertip. Benjamin raised an eyebrow and she paused, gifting him with a flirty smile that warmed his insides. "Every year at the beginning of October my mother starts baking, it"s like a compulsion for her, and she"s already in full force. I wondered if you"d like to come with me, to Manchester, and help with the sampling of the goods."

Benjamin took a step back and pushed his hands into his pockets. The warmth that had stirred in his chest instantly went cold and tension pulled across his shoulders. Her smile slipped, and Benjamin looked down to save himself the self-resentment at being the cause. He shifted back to lean on the edge of the center island, his feet in front of him. They were nearly toe to toe, his white sneakers and her brown leather boots. She shifted her feet, adding a few inches between his toes and hers, and touched his arm. Benjamin swallowed and raised his head.

Her smile was back, but it wasn"t as open and easy. She took her hand from his arm and signed as she shook her head. "It was just a thought. You don"t have to, especially if you don"t want to?—"

He pulled his hand from his pocket and wrapped his fingers around hers, stilling her excuse. "Why did you want me to come?"

Jewell tilted her head, her gaze shifting away a moment before returning to him. "I thought you might enjoy an afternoon of?—"

"Family?"

Jewell shrugged. "Among other things." She tilted her head the other way, the smile almost gone. Her expression wasn"t angry, wasn"t hurt, but almost neutral. She worked hard to mask whatever her true feelings were over his questions. "Benjamin, I"m not trying to push something on you. And I promise I won"t be angry if you don"t go. I"ll be disappointed, but not angry. I"m spending the day with my family, and thought it would be nice if you were there with me." The smile came back, and some of the tension in his chest eased.

His gut reaction was to flinch away from the idea of spending time with a family like Jewell"s. Beyond Ruby, he hadn"t met any, but he"d heard enough to know they were the polar opposite of the Roths. Before he could form a response—in truth, an excuse—she stepped to him and raised her arms, wrapping them around his shoulders in an embrace. Never even thinking to resist, Benjamin returned the hug. She kissed his cheek and stepped back.

"I"ll see you tomorrow."

Benjamin just nodded, hating himself for being thankful that she hadn"t forced him to explain or to make up unbelievable reasons. She squeezed his hand and walked past him to leave the kitchen. He crossed his arms and let his chin drop toward his chest, drawing a deep breath. He jumped and jerked when Victoria slapped his arm.

"What?" he snapped, stepping back when she raised her hand to hit him again.

"Why are you being stupid?"

"What are you talking about, Victoria?" She swung at him with a potholder, but he dodged it and moved around behind the island, putting it between them. "Stop."

"Why didn"t you go with her," she demanded, holding the potholder aloft like a weapon. "She drove here from Manchester to ask you to come with her. Manchester," she repeated, opening her arms wide in an expression of the immeasurable distance she apparently believed it to be between Manchester and Boston. "She cared enough about you to come down here for you." She chucked the potholder at him, and he caught it as it bounced off his chest, before it landed on the floor.

"She doesn"t want me with her family—" He didn"t finish, barely catching the wooden spoon she threw at him. "Vicki, stop." An apple from the basket on the island flew by his head. "Vicki!" he shouted.

"I"ll stop when you stop being stupid."

"You know as well as I do that—" An orange bounced off his chest. "Stop throwing things and let me finish."

"I"ll stop when you stop being stupid."

"You said that already." She grabbed the last apple from the fruit basket and drew it back by her ear, ready to throw it straight at his head. Benjamin raised his hands, blocking his face. "Okay, okay."

"Will you listen?" He nodded and she lowered the fruit, scowling at him. Just as quickly, the scowl faded to a sad, strained frown. "Ben, please…please don"t let him mess this up for you. She saw him, she saw how angry he was, and she still came here today for you. He didn"t scare her away, don"t you do it."

Benjamin set his hands on the edge of the counter and dropped his head forward, closing his eyes. His knee-jerk reaction had been to pull back, but only because it had been a split second faster than his gut reaction to say yes and go. He felt Victoria"s presence beside him just before she covered one of his hands with hers and slid her other hand across his shoulders. She leaned her cheek against his upper arm. He opened his eyes and looked down at his younger sister, and she offered a small smile.

"Please, Ben," she said, her lip quivering with the words. Tears welled in her eyes. She kissed his sleeve. "Go on. Have a good time. Eat a cookie, or twelve, for me."

Part of him wanted to argue more, but he chose instead to let it go. He kissed his sister"s forehead and stepped back, taking his phone from his pocket. A minute later, he"d texted Jewell and asked her to come back for him. He still had a niggling sensation of doubt when he walked down the hall and pulled a jacket from the front closet, but he pushed it down and shoved it away before he shut the door.

* * *

Benjamin and Jewell came together at the hood of her car and joined hands. "I warn you. Chaos reigns in the Kincaid household," Jewell said, smiling up at him.

"Somehow that sounds strangely appealing."

Jewell"s smile widened. She linked her fingers through his and they walked together to the door of the large farmhouse.

The substantial home was painted pale yellow with cream trim and a deep farmer"s porch encompassed three sides, with a closed ceiling and large pillars supporting the roof. Along the outside of the porch were the brown skeletons of many shrubs and bushes, now bare with the approach of winter. Benjamin guessed the house to be at least a century old. The home had been well maintained but retained its old-fashioned appeal. Shutters framed each window, and the detail committed to the wood cornices and eaves was a testament to the builders. Benjamin sensed warmth, family, and an invitation to enter. All things he never felt in the Roth mausoleum in Hartford.

They ascended the four wooden steps to the interior of the porch. Beside the door sat two wicker chairs with a wrought iron table between them. Further down the porch, a two-person swing hung from chains anchored in the beams above it. A pink and black soccer ball hid partially beneath one of the chairs. The wood was littered with brown, crisp leaves from the surrounding trees, and a jack-o-lantern in preparation for Halloween sat on the other side of the door.

The interior door was open and Benjamin looked through the screen into the foyer beyond it. Benjamin inhaled the appetizing aroma of vanilla, nutmeg, and cinnamon drifted to them through the mesh.

Jewell pulled open the wood-frame door and cupped her palm around her mouth to call out as they entered the house, and within seconds Jewell"s father came down the hall to meet them. Cecil Kincaid was a big man, with broad shoulders and thick, white hair. An old-fashioned cardigan sweater with leather buttons did little to disguise the substantial size of the man. He raised his hand in greeting and pulled Jewell into a devouring hug. After kissing her temple, he extended his hand to Benjamin for a hearty shake.

"Daddy, this is Benjamin Roth."

"Good to meet you, Benjamin," he signed once he withdrew his hand. His signs were fluid and casual, clearly well practiced, but his slightly gnarled fingers showed signs of arthritis and age. "Jewell has spoken of you. We"re happy to have you here."

Benjamin slid a glance at Jewell, smiling at the blush in her cheeks at her father"s confession. "It"s nice to be here, sir."

Jewell"s father waved his hand. "Please, call me Cecil." He spelled his name and offered a simple sign to represent it. "We aren"t much for formality in this house."

"Where is Mama?" Jewell asked.

Cecil Kincaid indicated the room at the end of the hall he had just exited. "In the kitchen. She"s preparing the pumpkin for the pie. I"ve been instructed to go out to the apple tree and see what I can bring her for apple brownies."

Jewell took Benjamin"s hand and led him towards the source of the aromas making his mouth water and his stomach grumble. "My mother doesn"t speak or read lips. I just wanted you to know."

Benjamin nodded and followed her down the hall that was wallpapered with an old-fashioned toile print of covered bridge sketches on a pale tan background. He felt like he had stepped back in time. The furnishings were antiques, and the interior itself stayed true to the original style wherever it could. Even the light switches on the wall were push-button rather than toggle. Substantial crown molding hugged the ceiling, and thick baseboards sat along the wall. Half a dozen generations had occupied this house, easily. Benjamin could almost sense the decades of life. It was pleasant and so in contrast to what he understood.

He looked back to Jewell. For a moment, he felt embarrassed that she caught him in his musings. She tugged gently on his hand again and urged him toward the kitchen door. Motion beyond the doorway caught his attention before they stepped inside, a flurry of activity in the form of a little blond girl wearing a fairy costume.

They entered the kitchen to find Jewell"s mother and little sister where they stood at the counter. Pearl was busy forming raw crust into a deep stoneware pie plate. The edges were uneven, and probably thicker in some spots, but the six-year-old worked at it in deep concentration, her tiny tongue sticking out one side of her lips. Opal Kincaid stirred a large bowl of pumpkin puree. Pearl looked up from her task and a wide smile lit up her fair face. She jumped down from the stool she stood on, ran to her sister, and threw her arms around Jewell"s waist.

Opal turned at Pearl"s motion and smiled. Everyone in this house smiled. The notion made Benjamin smile wider. Jewell said chaos ruled here, but that wasn"t what Benjamin saw. He saw life, in its most pleasant form, and a family living it. Jewell"s mother wiped her hands on a towel before hugging her daughter. The slight woman only reached mid-chest to Jewell. Jewell introduced him to her mother as she had her father.

"Cecil and I were very happy to hear you would be coming back with Jewell," Opal told him as she turned away from her daughters. Her hands moved with the gracefulness of small birds, fluttering and dancing in the air in delicate choreography.

Nearly every book Benjamin had ever read eventually described the way a person spoke—the timbre and tone of their voice, soft or harsh, grating or soothing. He wondered if the hearing world could understand the subtle intricacies he saw in the motion and play of hands in silent speech. Benjamin took the small woman"s hand and kissed the knuckles, having to bend slightly to be able to reach her. She was such a dainty woman. He didn"t recall ever seeing such a whimsical lady.

"I"m happy to be here, Mrs. Kincaid."

Opal held his hand and patted it with the other. She stepped back and wiped her hands again before continuing to sign. Like "her husband, Mrs. Kincaid offered her name sign. "Please call me Opal. I"m sure my husband told you we don"t stand on formality in this house. There"s too much dust, clutter, and chaos for formality. Come and sit."

Jewell squeezed his fingers and they went to the table, hand in hand, to sit down. Pearl jumped back on her stool and continued with her crust dough. Cecil came back in with a dozen apples held in the bottom half of his cardigan sweater, followed by a man about Benjamin"s age with curly black hair, his arms full of fruit. Jewell touched Benjamin"s wrist to draw his attention for a moment and quickly signed that the other man was her brother Garnett. Mr. Kincaid touched his wife"s arm as he passed her and she pointed to the table. Both Benjamin and Jewell scurried to keep the freshly picked fruit from rolling to the floor as her father unceremoniously dumped them out.

Benjamin laughed as half a dozen apples escaped their attempts and rolled across the hardwood floor. Ruby showed up in the doorway leading to a part of the house he hadn"t seen yet and bent to snag an apple as it rolled past her. In a fluid motion, she stood, waved at Benjamin, and bit into the fresh apple.

Opal set a glass bowl and a small paring knife down in front of Benjamin.

"Have you ever peeled apples before, Benjamin?"

"Yes, ma"am."

She patted his shoulder and smiled. "Be careful not to cut yourself."

Jewell smiled and shook her head. "I"m sorry, I didn"t know Mama was going to put you to work."

Her mother smiled wider and shrugged her shoulders. "IfBenjamin is going to spend the holiday here, he has to work for his meal." She turned away and went back to her pie filling.

Benjamin looked to Jewell. "My meal?"

Jewell squeezed his hand. "I think you were just invited to Thanksgiving dinner."