5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Oliver

S ince I didn't want to be locked up in my apartment, I spent the weekend touring the town, seeing what else is out there to do, and it went by entirely too fast. I went down to the beach and laid out in the sun. People milled all around me while I laid out and enjoyed the heat. After spending all day in the sand, I found a seafood restaurant right by the shore.

Some people probably think going out to a restaurant by yourself is strange, but I truly enjoy it sometimes. Being able to sit and simply enjoy the food. It's nice. Sometimes. However, at times, I find myself wishing there was someone else with me .

On Sunday, I reached out to Nate, and we went to the sports bar again. I can easily see us being friends with how well we get along.

He told me all about his break-up with his ex-boyfriend and how he's been trying to get out of the house more to get his mind off things. So, I told him about my breakup with Alison, and how I ended up moving across the country to start over. We realized we had a lot more in common than we originally thought.

Mondays are one of my easiest days of the week. I only have three classes, so I'm able to lock myself in my office for a little bit and get some grading done. While Ty does most of the daily grading, I do like to check out the student's work myself sometimes. I'm marking up another paper with my red pen when my phone vibrates next to me. Looking at the screen, I smile, seeing Alexander's name pop up.

"Hey man," I answer, bringing the phone up to my ear and tossing my pen onto my desk.

"Hey. I haven't talked to you in a couple weeks. How's everything been going?"

"It's good." Blowing out a breath, I lean back in my chair, lifting my legs up and propping them on my desk. "Work has been busy, but it's been amazing being able to do what I love. There's something exhilarating about being able to teach others the things I love about literature."

"I know exactly what you mean. Whenever we have interns at Hayes Advertising, it's great to be able to share your passion with others."

"Exactly. You get it." I smile, knowing he understands how I'm feeling. The passion I love sharing with others.

"Outside of work, how has everything been?"

"Great. I made a new friend, which makes me sound like I'm five years old, but it's been good for me."

"A friend-friend or a friiiienddd ?" he says, emphasizing the word.

Smiling, I shake my head. "A friend-friend. He's gay, but I don't see him that way. And I'm sure he doesn't see me that way either. We're both new at BU and needed a friend."

"That's awesome, Oliver. I knew moving would be good for you."

"It really has been. I can finally be myself, or at least figure out who I am here."

We stay on the phone for a few more minutes, Alexander updating me with new things happening in his life and me telling him all about what I did this past weekend.

When we finally hang up, I'm too tired to finish grading, so I pack up all the papers to work on them another day.

Arriving home, I head straight toward the shower. I twist the knob, turning the water to burning hot. Once the room starts steaming up, I strip off my clothes and step into the shower, letting my head fall forward. The water sprays against my tired muscles, and they start slowly loosening up. I enjoy taking a hot shower as soon as I come home at the end of the day. It helps me to rinse off all the dirt, but it relaxes me enough to enjoy a nice night inside.

After I finish showering, I pull on a pair of black sweatpants, then make my way to the kitchen. Ember's already in the room, scooting her bowl against the floor as when I walk in.

"Hey, girl," I coo, bending down. She stretches out, a soft meow escaping her at my petting. "Is my girl hungry?" I ask, laughing when she scoots the bowl again.

After feeding her, I look through my fridge and decide on making a salmon salad for dinner. I'm not the world's best cook, but I can cook some food here and there.

The salmon salad only takes a couple minutes to prepare, since I already had all the ingredients ready and washed. I drizzle a lemon vinaigrette on top, then sit on the stool at the island. I eat my salad slowly, enjoying the quiet evening. When my bowl is empty, I clean up the kitchen before making my way to the living room.

I don't even have to pretend to know what I'm going to do. I tried to kill time and eat slowly, but it's no use. Masked_menace posts new videos a couple times a week, so tonight I'm going to log in and see if he's posted a new one today .

Opening my laptop, I find his profile, a shiver racing through my body when I see he's uploaded a new video. I place the computer on the coffee table, then press play.

The first thing I see is an empty bed in view of the camera. The last few videos he was sitting on a chair, so I notice the new setting immediately. It only takes a couple seconds before he's entering the view of the screen, his body completely naked. He lays down onto the bed, stroking his cock as he stares at the camera.

"Are you ready for me?" His voice rasps. I nod my head even though he can't see me, pushing my sweatpants down my legs and letting my dick spring free.

"Fuck, you are ready for me, baby, aren't you?" I nod my head again, wishing I had the courage to do another live video with him. Since the first video, I haven't tried to join another one of his live sessions. I always wait for him to upload one and then I just watch that. I'm getting more comfortable with myself and what I want, but I'm not quite that comfortable yet.

My eyes never leave the screen as I watch him jerk himself while he talks to the camera. Every time he talks, I imagine he's talking to me personally.

"I want you to put one hand on your cock, stroking yourself in time with mine. I want you to use your other hand to caress the rest of your body. The one place your body is craving an extra touch. Imagine it's me grazing you. My fingers gracefully touching you all over." A tremble runs through me, and I moan loudly, doing exactly what he 's asking. I imagine he's actually here with me. He's sitting across from me, telling me exactly what to do. His deep voice demanding I touch myself a certain way. His voice going soft when he praises how good I am and that he's proud of me.

"You're doing so good for me." All I can hear is his voice. My eyes are closed and all I can do is stroke myself, listening and imagining what it would be like to have him here with me.

"I want you to come for me, baby. I want you to come the hardest you've ever come in your life."

I stroke myself faster, a tingle letting me know that I'm close. I'm so close, I'm waiting to be pushed off the ledge.

"Come now."

And that does it. My hand freezes and spurts of cum shoot out of my dick and lands on my stomach. I'm breathing deeply, my pants filling the room, but I can still hear masked_menace in the background telling me I did such a good job.

The video goes black and I reach over, closing the computer. I quickly clean up before lying back against the couch. Ember jumps up beside me, rubbing her head against my hand. Grabbing her, I put her on my chest, closing my eyes. The high from earlier is fading, melancholy taking over.

I know I have Ember, but sometimes it really fucking sucks being alone.

I'm walking back and forth in front of the lectern, explaining the requirements of the next research project I'm having the students complete. Looking out into the crowd at all of their faces, I see most are bored, either yawning or their eyes slowly closed. But there are a few who seem wide-eyed and eager to get started on their assignment.

Being able to share my passion with others is everything. And seeing those students who are taking what I'm saying and learning from it is everything.

I scan the crowd again, locking eyes with Ronan. He's hastily taking notes in his notebook, and I smile before continuing my lecture. There's something about seeing him work so hard that causes a flutter in my stomach.

Once class ends, I'm standing at the lectern packing up my messenger bag when a throat clears next to me. Lifting my head, I lock eyes with Ronan's warm brown ones.

"Good afternoon."

"Good afternoon, Professor Carson. I'm excited about getting to work on this assignment. I was wondering if you would have time to meet with me this week and go over some key points before I start trying to write this paper."

"Of course," I tell him, pausing when my stomach tightens again. He's looking at me with a megawatt smile and I can't help but grin back. His smile is infectious.

He's infectious.

"I figured I can get this read by Thursday, if that works for you?"

"Perfect."

"See you then." He turns around, walking away, and my eyes track the movement of his ass in his black jeans.

What the fuck ?

Thursday comes quickly, meaning Ronan and I are meeting in the library once again. We spend an hour going over every aspect of the assignment and what I'm requiring them to do. His energy for learning is contagious and I love being able to see how he's taking my directions and processing them.

We spend the next few weeks after class getting together and going over the assignment and where he's at. Twice we're joined by other students, but most of the time it's just the two of us. While there's been working, there's also been a lot of joking around and laughter filling our time together.

Grabbing the highlighter, I snatch his paper and highlight something before turning it around and showing it to him, my eyebrow raised.

"Oh shit," he laughs and my chest warms at the sound. "I can't believe I missed that."

Looking at Ronan, I see the small laugh lines in the corner of his eyes, and I have to force myself to look away.

What the fuck is wrong with me ?

I don't know when it happened, but lately I've started noticing little things about him I didn't notice before. At first it was small things like the sound of his laugh, or how when he smiles, it's with his whole mouth—teeth and all. And then it started to move toward how I would feel nervous or anxious to see him. How his class is the one I'm the most excited about because I know I'm seeing him. The fact I started counting down the minutes in class because I knew I'd be meeting with him after.

Nothing's happened, of course. But it still doesn't stop me from viewing him differently.

Now I notice the light amber in his eyes, and the pink blush that appears on his light tan skin when he laughs. Or the fact he styles his dark brown hair differently. Sometimes it's styled to the left and other times it's to the right. But it's always styled with some type of gel or pomade into a pompadour. I obviously stare way too much at his damn hair if I noticed that.

And it's one hundred percent only on me. He hasn't said or done anything to make me view him differently, but I can't stop myself. Something about him has me seeking him out and makes me want to get to know him better. Which I can't.

He leans over into my space, and the smell of lavender fills the air around me. I catch myself trying to lean closer, so I gently slide my chair over, putting more space between us. Ronan glances at my chair quizzically before turning back to his paper.

I look at him again and my breath catches in my throat. He's gorgeous. He's wearing a black tee with blue jeans and black combat boots. He has a lean body that I'm not sure if it's from a sport or working out. I honestly don't know much about him besides the fact he's my student.

Fuck .

He's. My. Student.

Hastily gathering my papers with shaking hands, I shove everything into my bag, needing to get out of there as fast as possible. My thoughts are running wild and I need to get away from him.

"Sorry, I just remembered I promised a friend I would meet him somewhere," I mutter out, my heart beating wildly.

"Uh. No problem. Thanks for helping me today." Ronan glances at me, his head tilting slowly. And I get it, I'm not making any sense. One minute we're laughing and joking and the next I'm running away as though my ass is on fire.

"See you in class," I rush out. I don't give him time to respond before I'm practically sprinting out of the library needing to get to the safety of my apartment.