9. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

Oliver

" P rofessor Carson?"

I hear the name before I see his face. My head snaps up, my eyes widening when I see Ronan staring back at me.

Ronan.

My student.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck."

Not thinking, I find the exit button and click on it, getting out of the live session as fast as I can. My heart is beating wildly and there's a layer of sweat covering my entire body. My leg starts twitching, so I stand up and start pacing.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" I yell.

I pull on my hair in frustration. How the hell did I let this happen? After getting home, I finally felt ready to do a session with masked_menace . I didn't know it was Ronan behind the screen. I didn't know it was him. If I would have known, I never would have joined the live session.

Oh my god, the videos. I've watched every single video of his.

I've gotten myself off to his videos. My student.

Ronan.

Fucking shit.

Turning around, I glare at the computer as though it will solve all my problems. Walking over, I slam it shut, then back away as though it's a bomb.

Masked_menace is Ronan? What the hell?

Leaving the living room, I walk into the kitchen and open the cabinet. I shove the bottles to the side until I find my unopened bottle of whiskey. I don't usually drink hard liquor, but this seems like a good time to drink some. I open the cabinet to the left, reaching in and grabbing a glass.

Twisting the top off the whiskey, I pour some into the glass before tossing it back. I wince, my throat burning at the taste. Pouring some more, I do it again before sitting down on the stool. I slam the glass down onto the counter a little harder than necessary before putting my head in my hands .

All the videos I've watched slowly start flashing through my mind. Masked_menace undressing, stroking himself for the camera, winking at me, praising me. Well, okay, maybe not me personally, but it felt like it was for me. I remember how excited I would get when I would see a new video uploaded. The exorbitant amount of times I've gotten myself off to those videos.

No. Gotten myself off to Ronan.

Groaning, I hit my head with my fist a couple times. Maybe if I stop thinking about it, it'll be like it never happened. I pour myself another shot of whiskey before twisting the cap back on.

I clean up the kitchen, putting the whiskey away, and place my glass in the sink before walking to my bedroom. I strip down to my briefs, then slide into my bed, pulling the covers up over my head and closing my eyes.

The different videos pop into my head again, but this time, I imagine it as Ronan. The man online is the complete opposite of the man I know. In the videos, masked_menace is a confident leader in the bedroom, whereas in class Ronan seems almost shy. He doesn't have that confidence about him when it comes to literature. I'm not sure how I never realized how similar their voices were. But masked_menace 's voice is deeper whereas Ronan has a softer lilt to his tone.

My dick plumps up when I remember what Ronan was wearing in the live tonight. It looked like he was wearing all leather, with a matching collar and even a leather mask.

Oh, god. It was the sexy as fuck Halloween costume I saw him in a few weeks earlier.

Groaning, I grab my pillow and place it over my face, trying to smother myself.

I can't think of Ronan anymore.

Or masked_menace .

Or whoever he is.

It's been a couple days since Thanksgiving weekend and I still haven't been able to get Ronan out of my mind. Today I teach his class, so I'm nervous about how this is going to go. I know he won't say anything in class; he wears a mask for a reason. But I'm not too sure he won't say something when we're alone. And if he does, what am I supposed to say?

This shit is all kinds of fucked up.

Blowing out a breath, I open the door to the lecture hall and walk inside. I avoid making eye contact with everyone, walking straight to the lectern and setting my messenger bag down. Once everyone quiets down, I start my lesson. My mind starts to forget about all things Ronan as I focus on my class. We read the next part of our text before discussing the different questions I had prepared. The entire time we're discussing, I keep my eyes away from Ronan. He doesn't raise his hand or try to participate and I'm thankful.

I wrap up the class, giving the students the next list of chapters they need to read. Gathering my supplies, I try to stuff them into my bag as fast as possible. Ty waves goodbye as he files out with the rest of the students. I lift the strap over my head and rest it on my shoulder. Closing my eyes, I turn around, ready to haul ass out of the room when I bump into another body.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Reaching out, I steady myself before looking up and locking eyes with Ronan.

"It's fine. I was too close," he murmurs, shrugging his shoulders.

I scan the lecture hall, seeing everyone has already left the room.

"Are we meeting at the library again?" Ronan asks, twisting the strap on his backpack.

"Yeah." Blurts out of my mouth without thinking.

Yeah? What the fuck? I'm supposed to be getting out of here, not meeting him somewhere, just the two of us.

"Or we could just stay here if you want."

"No, no. The library would probably be better." I tell him, nodding my head as though it will convince both of us to go there.

"Are we going to talk about what happened?"

"Wha—?" My voice croaks, so I clear it trying again. "What happened?"

Ronan huffs, rolling his eyes. "You know what happened. You were there. I was there."

"Oh, uh, yes. I do remember. No need to talk about it," I stammer, looking everywhere but at Ronan.

I try to walk around him when his hand reaches out, stopping me.

"I think we should talk about it."

"I really don't want to," I plead, hoping he'll drop it.

"No. We need to talk about this. When you logged in the other night, I recognized your screen name but I couldn't place it until a couple of days ago. You joined my live during the summer, didn't you? The one who hid his camera from me?"

Fuck.

Do I lie? Do I tell the truth? What the hell do I do?

"Fuck. Yes, that was me." Sighing, I lift my bag back over my head, before making my way over to the first row of chairs. I sit down, dropping my bag onto the floor. Ronan takes the seat next to me, neither of us saying anything. "Fuck, I didn't know it was you. Now that I'm sitting here listening to your voice, I have no idea how I didn't put two and two together but I swear, if I would have known it was you, I never would have joined the live or watched your videos."

Ronan cuts me off before I can continue. "You watched my videos? Also, I deepen my voice and change it so that I'm not recognizable."

"Well, it worked. I didn't know it was you. Fuck. This is so fucked."

"Why?" he asks, tilting his head, not breaking eye contact with me.

"What do you mean, why? You're my student Ronan, I'm your professor. It's wrong."

"There's nothing wrong with it. You're my college professor. I'm twenty-two. And you're...."

"Thirty," I finish for him.

"See, adults. I don't see anything wrong with it. You didn't know it was me, and I didn't know it was you."

"True. That's true." Slumping into my seat, I close my eyes. He's right, I didn't know who he was. It's not my fault, but now that I do know, I can't do it anymore. "We should head to the library."

"So, we're not going to talk about it?"

"We just talked about it," I counter.

"Okay, so what's next?"

"Nothing. We forget it happened," I say, standing up and plucking my bag up from the ground. "Come on, let's go."

"What? No. I don't want to forget about it. I want to discuss this."

"There's nothing to discuss, Ronan."

"Whatever." He storms past me and I rush after him, not wanting him to leave. Before he reaches the door, I grab his wrist, turning him around to face me.

"Ronan."

I lean my head down, trying to make eye contact with him, but his eyes are on my hand. The hand that's still holding onto his wrist. Letting go, I run my hand through my hair and step back.

"Would it be so wrong?" he whispers, looking up at me with big, beautiful brown eyes that hold me hostage.

"It could be," I whisper back.

Ronan steps closer, crowding into me. I don't move, my feet rooted in place to see what's going to happen. He licks his lips before pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and biting it. God, he's gorgeous. My chest rises and lowers rapidly as he gets even closer. One of his hands finds the nape of my neck, while one of mine settles on his hip. Squeezing my eyes shut, I grip him roughly, not knowing what I should do.

"Oliver."

My eyes spring open at the soft sound of my name on his lips. A sound I'll now always dream of. He places his other hand on my shoulder before he's rising up, his breath fanning over my lips .

I know it's coming, but I'm still not prepared for the shock that hits my body when his lips touch mine. I've had kisses before, but I've never had a kiss like this. One that's a shock to my system, a kiss that has me gripping him tighter, dragging his body against mine. One that has my heart beating wildly in my chest, as though it's wanting to break free.

His hands tighten in my hair, both of us grabbing each other, trying to get as close to one another as we can. My hands slip under his shirt, skin smooth under my touch. His tongue slides into my mouth, a moan finding its way out of me.

A door slamming in the hallway has me jumping back from him.

"Oliver." My name is a hushed whisper on his lips. His hands come up, like I'm an animal he's trying not to spook.

My fingers trace my lips shakily, my eyes drifting closed, remembering the feel of his firm pink lips against mine.

"I-I gotta go."

Turning around, I rush out of the room, my heart about to beat out of my chest.