6. Daire

SIX

daire

FUCK ME, I needed coffee.

The closed black curtains covering my bedroom windows didn’t prepare me for the eye blasting I got when I stepped into the living room early Friday morning. It was too bright. Too sunny. Too much.

Especially when I’d only slept for three hours, if that.

It was worth it, though. I’d needed the release and to escape for a while, and that was exactly what I’d gotten. The ache in my muscles was welcome proof of that.

I grabbed a mug out of the cabinet and turned on the espresso machine, flipping through the preset options until I got to my setting. I hit the grind button and as the machine started to whir, I stared at the tiled wall of the kitchen. The welcome scent of ground coffee filled the air, and the second it finished, I tamped that shit and set it to brew.

The machine had been a thank-you gift from Gavin, complete with a big red bow, but by the time it arrived, he kinda hated my guts.

He’d done good, though. This thing made a coffee that was better than the shop downstairs. I’d thought about not using it when it arrived, but I needed the caffeine hit more than I needed to prove a point.

As the coffee streamed into my travel mug, Gavin’s door swung open, and out of the corner of my eye I saw his platinum-blond head move in my direction. As usual, he didn’t say anything as he opened the fridge and took out the pre-made breakfast he always had sent up from one of the restaurants downstairs.

I didn’t need to glance his way to know every step that would happen next. He’d stand at the edge of the kitchen island opposite me, tear off the lid of his container, salt and pepper his hard-boiled eggs. But he never ate those first. He always started with the sliced fruit or grapes, finishing those off before popping the cubes of cheese and turkey into his mouth. The eggs would come last, and he never bothered using a fork, just picking them up with his hand before licking his fingers clean.

Not that I watched him. I didn’t need to, not when we both had a morning routine we stuck to no matter what. Not to mention, we weren’t exactly on speaking terms, and hadn’t been since the blowup at Astor. That wasn’t my fault. If Gavin wanted to hold a grudge, then that was his problem. I wasn’t apologizing for a damn thing.

I kept my eyes on my coffee as it finished brewing, and then grabbed my mug and moved out of the way so that when Gavin tossed his empty container, he could take my spot in front of the machine.

We were like opposing magnets in that way, never getting too close, staying out of each other’s way. With anyone else, I’d be fine with it. Better than fine. I liked my space, and I hated bullshit small talk.

But this tension with Gavin was starting to grate on my nerves. I’d thought I could hold a grudge. That was nothing compared to Gavin Truitt icing someone out.

I didn’t bother with breakfast, just leaned back against the island and waited for him to finish up so we could head down to the Sprinter. Even not talking, it never occurred to me to not go downstairs without him. After all, I wasn’t the one being a jackass.

Gavin’s fingers drumming along the counter caught my attention. His back was to me, a rigid set to his shoulders that wasn’t usually there.

Narrowing my eyes, I studied his long, lean frame while he wasn’t looking my way. His white collared shirt was tucked in at the slim waist of his fitted blue plaid designer pants, and I tried to ignore the way they hugged his ass.

Gavin wasn’t my type. He was too good, too pretty, too innocent.

That didn’t mean I couldn’t appreciate a hot ass when I saw one.

He turned around suddenly and met my eyes. It was the first time in a long time he’d looked at me directly, and I wondered what that meant. Was he finally over his shit? I didn’t need a thanks-for-kicking-my-ex’s-ass apology, but I’d take it reluctantly if it was offered.

“Where did you go last night?”

That wasn’t at all what I thought would come out of Gavin’s mouth after months of not talking. I didn’t react, taking a sip of my coffee instead. He already knew the answer. He’d been invited to go out with us to the club and turned it down.

When it was clear I wasn’t saying a word, he sighed and headed toward the refrigerator to pull out a half-gallon of milk.

“You’ve done it a few times now,” he said, uncapping the jug. “Gone out with the guys, come back, then left again.”

Gavin had been watching me? What the hell?

“You keepin’ tabs on me now?”

His hand froze mid-pour as he glanced back at me.

Huh, that’s two times in one day. Guess I am off his shitlist.

“No, I’m not keeping— Damn it.” He spun back to his mug, where the milk and coffee had spilled over onto the counter, and quickly put the container down, reaching for some paper towels. He mopped up the mess in front of him, and as he crouched down to get the overspill at his feet, he let out a sigh. “I just heard the door, that’s all.”

Gavin shook his head and straightened, tossing the soaked towels in the trash.

“Why are you always so damn defensive?”

“I’m defensive.” I grunted and pulled out my cell. “That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Excuse me?”

What was his deal this morning? What happened to the awkward silence? I could handle that. But I didn’t do verbal pissing matches. Why bother when it was easier to use your fists and end it with one quick punch?

But it wasn’t like I was going to do that to Gavin. Hell no. Not when a strong wind could knock him off his feet.

So if he wanted to go a couple rounds in the verbal ring, I guess I needed to start using my words.

“You’ve been nothing but defensive for months.”

“No, I⁠—”

“With Van, the guys, with me. You’ve got a stick up your ass, and you know it.”

Gavin’s jaw practically hit the floor he’d just been mopping up.

“Are you serious right now? Van and I are…fine, and I have not been defensive with the guys. As for you—” His words cut off as I crossed my arms, but he quickly regained his footing. “You know exactly why I’ve been the way I’ve been.”

“Defensive.”

“Would you stop saying that?”

“Pissed off.”

“I’m not pissed off.”

“A surlier fuck than me.”

Gavin opened his mouth as though about to fire back, but at the last second it clicked shut. A small hint of a smile curled his lip.

“Is that even possible?”

“I wouldn’t have thought so, but what do I know.”

Gavin let out a breath and leaned back against the counter, then he slipped his hands into his pockets, making the tight fit of his pants even tighter—not that I noticed.

“I don’t want to be like that.” His voice was soft, his eyes on the floor, and I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or himself until he looked over at me.

“Then don’t be.”

“Just like that, huh?”

“I mean, you control you. You don’t want to be a shit. Don’t be one.”

A frown formed on the smooth skin of his forehead. “So what you’re saying is, you act like a shit because you want to.”

I shrugged, not about to get into my behavior. We were talking about him, not me. The last thing I needed was for Gavin to start psychoanalyzing me.

“I’m just tellin’ it like it is. And you’ve been a shit. Ask anyone.”

Gavin scoffed. “Why bother? Pretty sure no one is as brutal as you.”

“Just being honest.”

“Right. Well.” Gavin ran a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t keeping tabs on you or trying to be nosy about last night. I was just going to say that if you’re seeing someone and want to bring them back here, you should. You don’t have to always go to them.”

Seeing someone? What the fuck was he talking about?

“I get the need for a late-night booty call, and I can keep a secret if that’s what you want.”

He thought I was going out at night to get my rocks off? I mean, yeah, I was definitely going out to relieve frustration. To pound away on someone and let off some steam. But seeing someone? No.

“Daire?”

“You makin’ another coffee?” I asked.

“Uh…” Gavin glanced at his half-empty mug then back at me. “No. It’ll make us late.”

I nodded, picked up my own coffee, and started for the door. I could hear Gavin behind me grabbing his bag and hurrying out of the apartment as I swiped the key card under the keypad nearby.

“You didn’t answer me back there.”

I eyed Gavin as he slung the strap of his bag over his head. “No. I didn’t.”

“So you aren’t seeing anyone?”

The elevator door slid open, and I stepped inside, not about to get into this. I didn’t do gossip and I didn’t make idle chitchat. Something he must’ve forgotten in the handful of months he’d decided to avoid all talk.

“Hello?” he said again, and I turned around and pinned him with a sharp look.

“It’s none of your business where I go or what I do. Got it?”

Gavin’s mouth snapped shut, and he gave a curt nod before stepping to the opposite side of the elevator. The muscle in his jaw twitched as he stared at the closed door and crossed his arms, and for the briefest flicker of a moment, I felt like a dick.

But hey, that had shut him up. He wouldn’t be asking any more questions now, and whatever small progress we’d made by speaking had only made things even more contentious.

That was my gift. Spreading friction wherever I went.

The tension between us only grew as we descended, and when the doors opened, Gavin practically jumped out to get away from me.

Good. Maybe then he’d stop watching me. The last thing I needed was for him or any of the guys to figure out where I spent my time after hours.

I took my time walking out to the Sprinter, sipping on my coffee and watching Gavin climb into the full van. We were the last ones this morning, but it didn’t matter. Scotty would get us wherever we needed to go on time. While my gift was being an asshole, Scotty’s was speed.

As I figured, Gavin had taken up a spot near the back, so I did us both a favor and planted my ass toward the front.

“Jesus, Daire, don’t hurry on our account,” West said from where he sat beside his roommate, East. “We’re more than happy to wait for when you’re ready.”

“Fuck off.”

East’s brows hit his hairline as he looked between me and Gavin. “Trouble in the arctic this morning?”

I leveled him with my frostiest look, and a devious curl turned up East’s lips.

“I’m sorry, but whenever you two arrive, it’s like a blast of cold air rushes by.” He fake shivered. “So icy.”

“I said shut the fuck up.”

East scanned the rest of the group then settled back in his seat, mouth shut. Not much worked on his loud mouth, but apparently my scowl and reputation were enough to keep his lips zipped.

Seemed like I was the surliest one after all.