5. Gavin

FIVE

gavin

Present Day - Late March

THE WIND WHIPPED loudly against my window as a storm raged outside. Being on the forty-fourth floor only intensified the sound, but in a way it was comforting, like white noise, as I stared aimlessly out at the city skyline.

Tonight was no different than any other night, not really. The guys had all gone out to party it up somewhere, and I had once again made an excuse to stay behind. I was getting good at that. But it was easier than spending the night surrounded by happy, lovesick couples and actively avoiding the only person I would’ve normally stuck close to—Daire.

I sighed and stared at the rain-streaked glass, the buildings blurring in the distance, and couldn’t help but compare it to the life I’d had months ago. It was like a distorted memory now. One where I’d had a boyfriend, lived with my brother, and had a really great group of friends. Before things had gone sour with Joey, I was happy…or so I thought.

But now? Now my life looked extremely different.

I was single, not as close to my brother as I used to be, and, unbeknownst to Daire or my friends, still dealing with the aftermath of my breakup with Joey. Daire’s actions had only managed to give me a week or two of reprieve before Joey and his friends had started harassing me between classes. Nothing physical, but enough to make me dread the interaction and hope it passed soon.

Then there was the fact that I was living with a guy I barely said two words to anymore. That fateful day in December—that day when I realized the one person I’d trusted with my deepest, darkest secret lied to me—had turned my world on its axis, driven a wedge between us that I hadn’t been able to get past.

How could I, when the person who had done it had the emotional capacity of a brick wall? Daire wasn’t the kind to talk things out, to tell me why he’d done what he’d done. He offered no explanation for any of the actions he took, and gave no fucks.

The one thing he did know how to do was shut down. He knew how to block people out. To him, my silence was probably welcome. So I’d let it go. We existed in our apartment like two strangers.

It was…exhausting. I was exhausted, always worrying if I’d run into him. Wondering what to say. I just wanted one thing in my life to go back to normal. I wanted to go back to when he’d at least grunt an acknowledgment my way.

That wasn’t going to happen, though, not unless we cleared the air. Something I knew that I was going to have to initiate. For all I knew, Daire thought everything was cool with us. He’d always lived alone, so maybe this was him in his natural state. Silent and…well, silent.

The sound of the front door opening and booted feet striding through the house told me Daire was home for the night. From my open door I could see his shadow on the wall as he headed toward his room at the far end of our place, away from mine. It served us both well, each having our own “wings” of the expansive two-bedroom residence at the Towers. If this had been the layout when I was living with Donovan, maybe I wouldn’t have had to move out.

On second thought, he and Kelly’s bedroom behavior was loud enough to annoy the neighbors, so this was a good change.

At least, it would’ve been if it wasn’t so tense. I could feel it in the air, thick and suffocating. Something had to give.

I picked my laptop up off the bed and set it aside. It was late, and I needed to get sleep more than I needed to get ahead on any assignments. I went to shut my door, but the sound of Daire’s opening again made me pause. From where I stood, I could see that he’d changed, not into something to sleep in, but into a different pair of jeans with a sleeveless shirt. He carried his leather jacket as he walked toward the kitchen, but he went out of view, and I could only hear him pour something. When he appeared again, heading for the door, he’d thrown on the jacket, and I frowned.

He was going back out again. Where, though?

This wasn’t the first or even fifth time I’d caught him leaving in the middle of the night, not returning until the early-morning hours.

Where was he going? And why was he keeping it a secret? None of the guys had said anything, and if they had even a hint of a suspected booty call, they would never let Daire hear the end of it.

So it was probably smart that this wasn’t group knowledge. Or even mine.

As the front door clicked shut, I decided to keep my own cracked open a little so I could hear when he got home. Not because I was keeping tabs on him or anything. Just to make sure he made it home okay.

I settled into my bed and flipped off the lamp, but as darkness descended, my mind was far too awake. A crash of thunder shook my window, and I determined Daire was crazy for going back out in this weather.

The man was an enigma. Living with him for more than three months hadn’t told me much about him at all. I knew the way he took his coffee. That he snuck in and out of the apartment like a thief in the night. That he was most stubborn man I’d ever met.

I knew all that, and still, for some annoying reason, I found myself curious about him. I wanted to know why he was the way he was, not just the superficial stuff.

It was obvious Daire preferred his own company to anyone else’s, but that wasn’t me…at all. This silent treatment was driving me crazy. I would rather argue than be ignored, which meant I was gonna have to be the one to suck it up and break the ice.

How? I had no idea.

That was a problem for tomorrow.