13. Cruise Time: Todd

Oh my gawd–this boat! No, this yacht . Jax had purchased a true cruise ship. It wasn't as big as one of those Celebrity cruise ships or anything, but damn. It outsized everything else in his little fleet. By a lot. Jax had explained that it was actually over eight thousand five hundred feet of super yacht that he'd had customized to fit what he wanted. In reality, it was a mini-cruise ship. All the fun of a cruise in a much more personal size. It had fifteen guest rooms, all booked up for this inaugural voyage. Plus, rooms for a crew of up to twenty-six people, though I thought I remembered he said some rooms had bunks rather than private accommodations. Most cabins, including the crew's rooms, were on the first level. But there were four special suites on the second deck. They were bigger and had balconies, and Jax had reserved them for the pup-brothers and Ward's best friend, Drew. That meant Levi and Hudson were on the first deck, but they didn't seem to mind. I was happy we had a bigger room, so I wouldn't have to be pressed up next to Larry the whole time. That would be torture. All that closeness that I couldn't allow myself to have.

We spent time wandering the three outdoor lounge areas before launch time. The front deck on the bow used to be a helicopter pad, but Jax had it converted into an excellent lounge space with a bar. I was going to give a lesson on how to make frozen drinks there the next day. That was going to be fun. Jax thought it was a brilliant idea, but of course, he was the one to think it up.

Larry held my hand as we walked out to the pool area. My poor heart wanted it to mean something, but despite Larry's admission of attraction, I knew better. Sure, he was attracted. I felt that. But that wasn't enough, was it? Nope.

A few couples I didn't know were already in bathing suits in and around the pool. Most guests were from our circle, but some were Ward's friends. And it seemed like all of them were paired off. I was more than grateful to Larry for doing this with me. Walking around this ship alone would have been the biggest suck-fest ever. At least I had that.

Larry slid his hand into mine and gave it a gentle tug. "Alright?"

"Yeah. We should check out our cabin, right?"

"Sure."

The cabin was lovely. Bigger than I expected, but it still only had one bed. There was room for a desk and an actual closet to hang clothes or slip them in a dresser and stash your luggage. The balcony was revitalizing since we could open the glass and let fresh air in, so it didn't feel like we were sardines cramped in a can. However, it was still only big enough for a couple of chairs and a little round table. The art in the room was tasteful, but the lights under the bed were tacky to me. I guess it was supposed to look sleek, but I didn't get that. The attached bathroom was a relief. A small shower only big enough for one, but room to brush your teeth and check yourself out in the mirror, and drawers to put your styling shit in, and I had a bunch of that.

Larry star-fished in the center of the bed. "This isn't bad at all."

"No. It's not, but…" I raised an eyebrow at him—a move I learned from Jax's snarky ass.

"Yeah. We're adults, Todd. We can manage sleeping in the same bed."

"You say that, but every romance known has shit happening in there when you least expect it." I made a stirring gesture aimed at the bed.

Larry shook his head with a chuckle. "Romance isn't real life. Maybe that's part of your trouble. Your standards could be impossibly high."

"Right." I snorted. I only wanted someone who cared about me and enjoyed my puppy play. Why was that too much?

"I wouldn't know, though. You don't talk about things like that." He shrugged.

"Like what?"

"Like deep. Like feelings and hopes and dreams."

"Neither do you." I grabbed my suitcase and opened it on the floor to unpack, not that I had a lot. "All I know about you is what you do for a living. That you have money. And your family is scattered outside of Florida."

"That's fair, but all I know about you is that you're from out of state, where your parents still live in what? Where? I don't even know that." He slid to the floor and leaned against the bed, watching me. "And you graduated with your MBA recently, so you're looking for the perfect job. And you like puppy play, which you do regularly with Jax and Royce. But it seems like even though they've been your best friends since your undergrad years, Levi has now taken that spot."

"No. Not taken. Just added." I dragged jeans to the side to cover the skimpy underwear I couldn't resist bringing but now hated for him to see.

"Well, I guess I know a little bit more than you. I'm willing to open up if you are though."

"Hey, I'm not the one complaining."

Larry looked crushed. It wasn't like I told him to get lost. But, yeah, getting to know him deeper would be too hard. When he left. And I knew he would. Everyone left. He dragged a finger across my hand. "It doesn't have to be this way. I wish you wouldn't shut me out."

"Well…" I huffed. "You're right and you're wrong. I know one more thing about you, Larry, and it's that you don't like my pup-play. And that is a deal breaker. So, let's just get through this cruise."

"That's not fair either. I don't understand it. I don't know about it."

"In all this time, you haven't tried to understand it. Have you even looked it up online? You know, research?"

"Actually, I have. I get what it's about, intellectually. But I don't understand why you do it. Why do you like it, Todd?"

I didn't want to do this. His green eyes sparkled with curiosity or interest or delight. I didn't know, but they sucked me in, making me want to crawl in his lap and lick under his chin. I whimpered before I could catch myself, and that spark in his eyes changed—his pupils dilated. What the hell? Maybe he had kinks he didn't even know about? But…I couldn't do that to myself. He wanted me, my body, sure. But none of this was evidence that he could get into pup-play and be my handler. Nope.

I slammed my suitcase shut before it was emptied and slid it into the closet. "No." I grabbed my swim trunks from the pile I'd made, tossed them on the bed, and dumped the rest of the clothes in the closest drawer. Then, I made a beeline for the bathroom, trunks in hand. A hand that trembled as I yanked my clothes off to change. I was so shaken that I forgot to remove my glasses before pulling off my shirt and knocked them to the floor.

And why did my deceitful heart thump harder in my chest? I took a deep breath and finished changing, ready to head to the pool and splash away these stupid thoughts of what Larry could be to me. He was nothing. Had to be nothing.

Before I made it halfway across the room, the PA system kicked in, and Jax's friendly voice boomed through the room. "Welcome, guests!" Was he shouting? A scratchy noise came through the speakers, then Jax again. "Sorry. I'm so excited you're all here to join us on our inaugural voyage of The Sea Star. We're about to depart. We'll head out of Tampa Bay, into the Gulf, and south to Key West. We'll stop overnight at Mallory Square port. You can enjoy Old Town and have some fun, but be back by noon the next day because we'll head off again, and on the way home, we'll have our own Pride Parade!" We all knew this, but I guess it was a good reminder. "We'll march our sexy asses around the pool deck, up to the bow and back again! Plus, I have some surprises in store for you! But to get this all started…it's pool party time! That's right, folks. Pool party right now and drinks are unlimited all night long! So again, welcome, and let's party!"

I would bet cheers were going up poolside, but we couldn't hear them from our cabin. After a minute, another voice came across. "A quick reminder. Please party responsibly. If you do need assistance at any time, our crew will be stationed throughout the pool deck. Please ask for help. That's what they're there for." That voice sounded suspiciously like Ward. "Oh, and party on! And thank you for cruising Hoadley Yacht Private Vacations." I couldn't help laughing at that awkward addition. Yep, it was Ward.

"Can I join you at the pool?" Larry asked as I grabbed the door handle.

A part of me thought he should, even if it was only to keep up appearances, but I needed space. Fuck! "Maybe a compromise? Give me like twenty minutes?"

"Why is that a compromise?"

I didn't bother turning around. I didn't trust myself not to stay if I did. "Because I say it is."

"Fine."

I pushed the door open and left without another word. I needed air. And a fucking drink.

The sun practically blinded me when I stepped out on the deck. I'd forgotten to swap my glasses for sunglasses. Now, I needed a serious drink, so I headed to the bar. We all knew I loved my frozen drinks, but that wasn't what I wanted. "Oh, I want that. Cucumber sunrise." It was a featured drink made with vodka, watermelon, and, as the name said, cucumber. "That's gotta be refreshing. Can you make it with double the vodka?"

"Sure." The young, dark-haired bartender winked at me as he started mixing the drink. All Jax's staff looked cute with their short black shorts and white button-up shirts, which had the ship"s name, The Sea Star, embroidered on the front. He really spent his money well.

Sipping my drink—strong drink—I made my way to one of the deck chairs and stretched out. I wished I could call Larry and ask him to bring my shades, but I left my phone on the dresser. And I was not going back. So I closed my eyes to the glare and took a deep breath.

"Todd!" Royce's voice had my eyes popping back open. I waved as he joined me with Quinn and another couple I didn't know. "Hey. This is Lee and Danny."

"Nice to meet you."

"Danny works with me at Drew's firm," Quinn explained with a shy smile. He didn't speak up a lot. His shyness rivaled mine, and he was super sweet to Royce, and that's all I cared about.

"Oh. Hi." I shook hands with the one I thought was Danny who was closer to me. He had a smaller build and a friendlier smile.

Royce leaned closer. "Where's Larry? Don't tell me he didn't come."

"Oh, no. He'll be along in a minute or two. I just really needed a drink." I held the glass up as if that proved we were still together and I simply couldn't wait, but I didn't think I was fooling Royce. He gave me a sideways glare. I took a sip to keep from opening my stupid mouth.

But after a few minutes of small talk that I wasn't really paying attention to later, Larry showed up. And damn, he looked good in nothing but dark blue trunks. A part of me wanted to throw a towel around him so no one else could look, but that was ridiculous. "Here, babe. You forgot your sunglasses." He handed me the case.

"Thanks." I opened it and switched eyewear. And my heart melted a little at his thoughtfulness.

"Need a refill? What are you drinking?" He reached for my nearly empty glass, and I couldn't argue.

"Cucumberer-something. Maybe don't ask for double vodka." I let him walk off with my glass and a smile. I had to admit I liked him being attentive.

"That was sweet." Royce nudged me.

"Yeah, that's Larry."

Quinn put his arm around Royce's waist. "I hate to say it, but I didn't think y'all made a good couple, but maybe I was wrong. He's ah…nice. You need someone nice."

"Ahh…thanks." I waved at him. Yep, feeling that first drink a little.

Royce laughed and asked Quinn to get him one of what I was drinking.

Before the guys got back, music started playing. Royce hooted and grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the chair. "Come on. Come on, Danny. Let's dance."

It was a cruise, so we stepped away from the chairs and danced between them and the pool and no one cared. I didn't know the song, but it had a good beat, not that I was very rhythmic. I probably looked like a scarecrow kicking around, but it was fun, and I did not care one damn bit.

By the time Larry returned and put a fresh drink in my hand, I was feeling better and vowed to drink this next one slower. I took a sip and could tell it was weaker, too. That was fine. It would be a long night.

We danced more, and Larry danced with me. Quinn and Danny's partner, who I couldn't remember his name, sat across from each other on the chairs, drinking short drinks that looked like whiskey but had fruit in the glass, so it was probably Old Fashioneds or something like them, and chatted. That was boring, so I ignored them. Watching Larry move was a lot more entertaining. And boy, could he move. He flexed those hips, giving me an idea of what being in bed with him might be like.

That had my cock half-hard too fast, so I handed him my drink. "I'm hot. I'm getting in." I turned and jumped in the pool. It didn't take Royce and Danny long to jump in after me.

We splashed each other for a bit, and then Levi showed up with Hudson in tow.

"Levi, come on!" I called him. He pulled his t-shirt off, threw it at Hudson, and sprinted for the pool. He cannonballed us and came up shaking his hair around, so I grabbed him and dunked him under the water. After a little more wrestling, I noticed Larry had joined Quinn and Hudson with Danny's partner by the lounges. Well, fuck him and his boring ass anyway. This was way more fun. They were probably talking about work. Who wanted to do that at a fucking Pride cruise pool party?

A few guys used the slide, splashing everyone near them. It was a decent-sized slide, though not like a water park slide. It was definitely smaller than that, but it was still fun and big enough that it probably wouldn't have fit, except that Jax had removed half the deck above the pool. Not only did he have the slide installed, but the pool was twice its original size. His customizations were expensive and well worth it.

Royce splashed me. "Turned out nice, huh?" As Jax's business partner, he'd helped with some of the plans, but he was more involved with advertising, and this cruise hadn't needed one bit of that. "I have a camera crew on board. Just two guys, but they'll take pictures for the brochures."

"That's smart."

He smiled like a cheeky loon. "I know!"

Not only did I splash him, but Levi joined in. Then we were tackling Royce while Danny laughed at our antics.

Royce came up sputtering. "You better stop, or I won't tell you about the surprises we have for the cruise."

"Surprises?" Danny asked. "I love surprises." His voice went soft like Levi's did sometimes when he was playing little, which got Levi's attention quickly. He stared. "What?"

"Are…are you?" Levi tried to ask.

I blurted it out, though. "Are you a little?"

Danny blushed and nodded. He was cute.

I shoved Levi. "See…y'all should talk."

Levi smiled, looking pretty damned happy with himself. "Me too."

"Cool," Danny squealed.

Sometime after the sun had set, I sat back in one of the deck chairs and closed my eyes. We had been swimming and dancing and acting silly. It reminded me that my friends were my friends because of me and not who I was dating, but Larry was there the entire time. He went to the bar and brought me drinks. He danced with me. He even got in the pool with me, and we wrestled around. It had been entirely too much fun, and my heart was shaking. So was my body.

"Hey, there." Larry sat next to me in the same chair and put his hand on my thigh. It was so warm. "You're freezing. Let's go back to the cabin." I started to shake my head in protest, but he had an answer for me. "We'll take a break, get warmed up, and if you're feeling better after that, we can come back."

I wanted to huff and complain, but he was right. "Fine."

After telling Royce, Levi, and his new friend Danny where we were going, I followed Larry, holding his hand as we went up the stairs and down the hall to the cabin.

Larry turned on the water in the shower to warm it up while I grabbed an oversized t-shirt and boxers to put on when I got out. "Do you want some hot tea or something?" he asked.

"No. Thanks." I touched his shoulder. "I mean that. Thanks."

He nodded and left me alone in the bathroom. A huge part of me wanted him to stay, but it would be breaking my own rules.

The room started fogging up, so I dropped my glasses on the counter and jumped in to warm up. It felt nice, and I sighed with relief. I washed my hair and body, removing the pool's chlorine. After rinsing, I stayed a little longer, solely to be under the hot water.

When I turned the water off and started drying off, Larry knocked on the door. "We should get something for dinner. Want me to order up? What would you like?"

"Something light. Maybe salad with grilled chicken or shrimp. Oh, yeah, make it shrimp."

"No problem."

I pulled on my shirt and boxers and walked into the main room as he finished the call for the food.

We talked about the day as we waited for the food. After it came, we chatted about the events coming up for the rest of the cruise, including my stint teaching whoever wanted to learn how to make blender drinks.

Then I was tired with a full stomach and didn't want to go back to the party. "Maybe I need a short nap."

"Sure, we can do that." He'd been very agreeable and caring all day, and I wondered if that's how he would really be if we were together. Would that be his mode of operation all the time, or would it get old fast? It didn't matter because we weren't going to happen.

"You can go back. You don't have to stay here and babysit me."

Larry pulled the blankets down on the bed. "Crawl in. And, by the way, has it not occurred to you that maybe—just maybe—I like babysitting you?"

He wouldn't say that if I were in pup-mode, but I bit my lip on that and got in bed. Larry moved to cover me and rested his hand on my shoulder. "You sure you're okay?"

I had already closed my eyes, but I hummed my ascent.

"Want me to lay with you for a bit?"

I must have been half asleep because I nodded, and Larry crawled in beside me.

At first, we lay without touching but soon, we were cuddling, and I was okay with that. Friends could cuddle. Then I drifted off. Completely exhausted and that was my excuse.

When I woke up, my hard dick was pressed against Larry's ass. Fuck!

What the hell was I going to do about that? At first, I didn't move—didn't even breathe.

Then Larry squirmed and I squeezed my eyes tight, trying and failing to deny the pleasure against my cock. He flipped over, and I could see him looking at me in the dim glow from the stupid light around the bottom of the bed. And his hard cocked was pressed against mine. I bit my bottom lip, still not knowing what to do, but he knew.

He reached between us and growled. "Take these boxers off," he whispered as if afraid to break this weird spell around us, and damned if it didn't work. Or I still felt the alcohol. I was still asleep. I had a million excuses, but I simply didn't care anymore. I pushed my snug boxers down with my hand, low enough to shuck them completely off with my feet.

And then he touched me.

His hand was hot on my cock, and he pressed it against his. I bucked my hips and moaned.

"Yes…" He breathed against the top of my head, then squeezed his hand tighter.

We fucked against each other, frotting while that hot hand worked us over. It felt like we were in a secret place, cocooned against the rest of the world. His moans joined mine until he thrust fast and hard and came all over me. Of course, that was all I needed to push me over the edge along with him, and I cursed as I came too.

Not long after, I was dozing again, and Larry chuckled softly before getting up. He came back, cleaned us up, and snuggled in, pulling me against his chest as if that was naturally where I belonged. Maybe it was. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feel of his arms around me, my face against his hard chest and the warmth of his body. That was all that was left in the universe.

Until the next morning.

I woke up to the sun beaming in through the open curtains that could have been covering the balcony doors but weren't. Larry was still snoozing beside me, our legs tangled under a sheet.

It didn't mean anything. None of it did. Right?

And…maybe that was the lie because I had no regrets.

None.

Perhaps this could be something after all.

But I didn't have time to think about it because if I didn't get moving, I'd be late for our first pup mosh of the cruise. I sat up fast, making Larry mumble, groan, and reach for the sheets. He pulled them back over him, but not before I caught a clear view of his sexy and very bare ass.

Nope. Still no regrets.

I leaned closer and whispered in his ear. "I have stuff to do. We have a pup mosh. Want to come watch? You don't have to."

"No. No, a what?" He sat up, and his ashy brown hair stuck up in every direction. "Pup what?"

"Mosh. Where we play together. It's kind of important to me."

"Right. Got it. I'm in. Let's go."

"Sure, but maybe you should grab a shower and wake up first. I'll grab us some coffee. What do you want in yours?"

He smiled brightly. "Cream. Lots of cream."

I chuckled. "Are you making a joke, Mr. Henderson?"

"Yes. And no. Maybe a little sugar too?" He looked at me hopefully, and I wasn't sure exactly what kind of sugar he was asking me for. But I wouldn't make more of this until after the mosh. That was going to be the make-or-break moment.