75

Adam

Too Far And Too Heavy

With boxes of soda under my arms, I flashed my student ID to the security guard. I had to drive to the grocery store after class. But it wasn't like I had something else going on anyway.

I fucked it up with Piper.

I tried to push past the shitty feeling that kept me zoning out in class and made me slow around the track in the mornings. All the effort to keep her from finding out, wasted. Piper found out. And I'd blown up in her face about it.

Great. Just fantastic.

The lobby was busy, and I pushed past the crowd to hit the elevator. Some people tried to call me. Adam Russell this. Marrs Manwhore that. I ignored all of them and pressed the elevator button again. If I could go back in time and stop the fuck-up, I'd do it in a second. If there was anything I could do to stop Piper from finding out, I would've taken that chance every time.

"Goddammit," I muttered under my breath.

"Hey!" Kassie slid up next to me with her backpack in hand. "What's up?"

"Illustrator-in-Chief." I nodded and stepped inside with her.

It took me a second to realize what was wrong. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen Kassie without Ryan or Ryan without Kassie or the two of them not making heart-eyes at each other and grossing out everyone in a ten-mile radius. But the elevator doors shut. No Ryan.

I frowned. "Where's Ryan?"

"Oh, he's…uh…" Kassie cleared her throat and waved her hand. "I talked to Piper."

I couldn't help it. I straightened up, unable to hide my interest. "What do you mean? What about?"

"The rodeo."

The rodeo?

I tried to keep how much it impacted me out of my voice. The last thing I wanted in the world was for Kassie to connect how much I needed Piper. I had to stay casual. "What about the rodeo?"

"We were volunteering at the park," Kassie told me as the elevator rose to the top floor. "Piper said she's real into the whole cowboy aesthetic. I'm talking, that's what gets her heart pounding, you know? Big hat, belt buckle, boots, everything. Isn't that interesting?"

Cowboy aesthetic? Really?

I frowned. "Huh. I didn't know that."

The elevator doors opened to the rooftop, but the place was empty. Completely empty. No football players or Kassie's art nerd friends. Only the screen was set up with the lines of chairs. Beyond that, nothing. It was quiet and cold up top, the evening just beginning. I took slow steps out of the elevator while Kassie walked to one of the two empty tables.

"Kassie?" I said, taking a wide sweep around the rooftop. "You said you wanted me to set up."

"Yeah."

"There's nothing up here." I frowned. "Everything's already good."

A chair hit the ground by the screen and both of us glanced towards it. Ryan had to be hovering close by. The football player didn't leave Kassie alone for nothing.

But my heart pounded in my chest when I saw her .

Piper was wrapped up in a Marrs hoodie, with her blonde hair pulled in a ponytail. In her hand, she held a white box. But nothing could take my attention away from that forlorn look on her face.

Piper.

I only realized how long I'd been staring at her when Kassie's phone rang.

"Got to take this. It's Ryan." Kassie strolled towards the elevator doors, swinging her lanyard between her fingers. I could hear her answer the phone behind me. "What? Uh-huh. Yeah. Those chips don't exist? Hold on, are you still at the store? I'm heading downstairs."

What the hell?

My heart thudded in my chest. Piper was finally right in front of me.

I cleared my throat. "Hey."

"Hi," she whispered.

"Uh…" I set the sodas on the table. "What else do we have to set—?"

"Can we talk?"

With three words, Piper knocked me down, and I gazed at her, silent. Talk about what? How I blew up in her face and stormed out? How I told her she wasn't my friend? Both possibilities were terrible. But I needed to apologize.

It was even more quiet on the rooftop while I trailed behind her. She didn't take a seat at one of the forty or fifty chairs in front of the screen. Piper walked alongside the rooftop and walked out to the ledge.

"Piper!" burst out of me and I jogged over, grabbing her by the hoodie. "What the hell are you doing?!"

She grasped some kind of rail and glanced up at me with those doe-like gray eyes. For a moment, it was just me holding on to her, so close to the edge of the rooftop. I couldn't let go. I couldn't let her fall. But Piper stepped off to the side ledge, tightly gripping the rail.

"It's fine," she said. "You just have to hold on to the bar."

"That's dangerous. Come back ."

Piper shook her head. "Kassie and Ryan come up here all the time. And…people are going to be coming soon."

"I don't like it," I said but I might as well have told her about the weather. Piper shifted over to the ledge, sitting down, while I helped her, making sure I had my hand on her back the whole time. It was easier for me. I was longer and I could just step on to it.

Never would I have admitted that it was a good idea to sit out there but I couldn't deny what brought people there.

The view was insane. It looked out over the campus, all lit up and alive after the commuter rush. I could pick out the football stadium, the training center, our dorm, and Gianna's— probably busy as shit. And then…the skyscrapers of Houston, just beginning to come alive in the evening. In the distance, the sun was just beginning to set, casting everything in a warm glow.

Something pushed me from the side and I glanced down to see the white box.

"I'm sorry," Piper whispered.

I stared at her. "What?"

"Adam, I was still a little out of it from the night before but that's no excuse." She opened the top of the box to reveal homemade chocolate chip cookies. She couldn't have shocked me more. "I pushed you and said some stuff I didn't mean. I'm sorry."

She's apologizing?

"No—I'm—" I struggled with my words for a moment. "Fuck, Piper. I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to apologize for."

A laugh burst out of me. "I freaked out, ice princess. That's on me. I'm the one who should—uh…"

I couldn't stop stumbling over my words. It was a mixture of confusion and embarrassment and shame and my tongue felt thick in my mouth. But honestly, I was just happy she wasn't telling me to fuck off for the rest of my life.

"Adam." Piper shifted back against the ledge. "You're such a great guy. And I'd never in a million years want you to think that I think otherwise."

Finished with that, she placed the box of cookies in my lap and turned to face the scenery. A flush crept up my neck. I couldn't stop gazing at her. She called me a great guy.

Piper Fontaine thinks I'm a great guy.

I couldn't believe it. It was like downing a double shot at the bar. My heart pounded in my chest, staring at the beautiful girl next to me.

She took a deep breath. "You're a great guy, Adam."

"I think you're the most amazing person I've ever met," I said, my voice low.

Too fucking far, dude .

Piper jerked back to look at me, the blush reaching her face. Her eyes widened. "Oh."

It was too far and it was too heavy but it was already a heavy conversation. Part of me wanted to switch topics. Football, the rodeo—hell—we could talk about the weather. But the other part of me wanted her to understand why I'd blown up. Which was new. I didn't even like talking to people about my parents, much less analyzing why I didn't like even talking about it in the first place.

"I didn't want you to find out because I don't—I didn't want you to look at me differently," I admitted. "It's a stupid reason. But that's all I have."

Slowly, Piper shook her head. "I don't think it's stupid."

I stretched out my legs and kept Piper in the corner of my eye. If I was going to tell her, I wanted to do it right.