Chapter 18

EIGHTEEN

Canyon

It feels like it's been a hundred years since I've seen Saylor, so I make short work of showering and getting dressed after the game. Ally had spent the afternoon with Autumn and watched the game with her and some of the other wives and girlfriends, so I'm hoping for a few minutes alone with Saylor before I get to the lounge. This is Ally's first time coming to a game, so I'm going to have to introduce her to everyone.

She was grumpy about coming, but I pushed the issue because she's going to have to get used to this. She won't be at every game, especially not once she starts school, but she has to come to terms with being part of my world.

I send Saylor a quick text asking her to meet me by the elevators that lead to the private boxes, since she watched the game from Harper's box anyway, and she's standing there as I get off the elevator.

Damn, she looks amazing.

I suddenly feel a little guilty for not being more communicative since getting back from Illinois, but there honestly hasn't been time.

"Hi." I approach her cautiously, and her eyes meet mine.

"Hi." I can see hesitation there, as if she wants to kiss me but is afraid to. Because I've sent her mixed signals the last week.

"I've missed you," I say, even though the words feel a little foreign on my lips.

Except it's true.

I wrap my arms around her and pull her against my chest, dropping my lips to hers.

Another slight hesitation.

Then she melts into me, her lips parting expectantly.

Fuck .

My tongue is in her mouth before I can stop myself, and even though the VIP boxes are still emptying and people are milling around, I can't seem to help it. I've missed her. More than I want to admit. It's been easy to ignore how much because of how much has been going on, but now that we're together again, that invisible pull is back in full force.

There's something between us, no matter how casual we've kept things, and it seems ridiculous to pretend otherwise.

"I'm sorry," I say as we reluctantly pull apart.

"For?" She looks more curious than upset, and I find myself needing to be honest. To articulate how confused I am about her. About us, really. If there even is an us .

It scares the shit out of me, because I'm in no position to be in a relationship with her, but the thought has crossed my mind.

"I should have called. Texted. Kept you updated. I meant to. I just…" How do I explain how insane the last week has been? "You'll understand better when you meet Ally. She's so angry and I guess she has no one else to be mad at, so she takes it out on me."

"Of course she's angry. Her whole world is tilted on its axis. And yours has too. But you should have reached out. A text takes two minutes."

"I know."

"You don't owe me anything," she says after a moment. "Except maybe honesty. You can't disappear just because you're busy. I'm busy too. Friends make time for each other, and I was under the assumption that at the very least we were friends. Unless I was mistaken."

Friends.

Is that what we are?

Do friends have the intense passion we've shared?

Not usually.

And I sure as shit have never thought about any other friend as much as I think about her.

I'm just bad at showing anything that vaguely resembles emotion.

Really bad.

"I'm not good at…this," I admit quietly.

"Good at what? Talking?"

"Communicating. Dating. Whatever this is."

"Are we dating?"

"I don't know. Do you want to?"

"I want us to feel good when we're together. Physically, emotionally, whatever it is. I've been around the block enough times to know that I don't need or want drama, and dating can get complicated. Especially now that you have Ally."

"I know." I pause. "And I think maybe that's part of why I didn't call. Not because I didn't want to, but because I figured you were better off not being pulled into the shit show my life is at the moment. She hates everything, Saylor. Me. The social worker assigned to our case. The private school we toured yesterday. Hockey. You name it, she hates it."

"She's a kid who just lost her mom. And I'm assuming you weren't close."

"I haven't seen either of them in nine years," I say. "But that's a long story we don't have time for right now."

"As far as this thing with us, the decision has to be yours," she says, her eyes on mine. "Really. I won't be mad if you say we shouldn't see each other anymore. Disappointed, yes, but not mad."

I huff out a breath. "Yeah, but I'll be mad. I want to spend more time with you. I do. I just don't know when or how."

"At some point, you have to make the effort. Otherwise, there's no point."

"I'll do better," I promise, the words spilling out of me of their own volition.

If I've surprised her, she doesn't let it show. "How about we take things one day at a time then? The only commitment is the one we already talked about."

"You mean not sleeping with anyone else?" I can't help but chuckle. "Baby, if I haven't had time to hook up with you, I definitely don't have time to find anyone else."

"What about on the road?" she asks, lifting her chin a little. "That's probably easiest because Ally won't be with you. Opportunity and privacy."

"Well, I'm not interested in that," I say firmly, tugging her closer to me. "If that changes at some point, I'll let you know, but for now, I'm good with one day at a time."

"All right. Then I guess I need to meet her."

I slide my fingers around hers. "Yeah, that's going to be fun. Let's go."

* * *

The lounge is busy when we get there, and I don't even realize I'm still holding Saylor's hand until I catch a look from Marty. His gaze drifts down to our linked fingers but before I can react, I hear Ally.

"Uncle Canyon!" She comes rushing over. "Are we going out to eat? I'm starving—who are you?" She interrupts herself to stare at Saylor.

"Ally, this is Saylor. Saylor, this is my niece, Allison."

"It's very nice to meet you." Saylor holds out her hand, but Ally doesn't move to take it.

"Oh my God. Is she your girlfriend?" Ally says the last word almost accusingly.

Great.

Now I have to make an on-the-spot decision.

If I say she's my girlfriend, here in this room in front of everyone, it's going to change everything.

If I deny it, not only do I look a little foolish since we're standing here holding hands, I diminish Saylor's importance to me, both to Ally and all our friends.

And the last thing I want to do is something that will embarrass Saylor.

It hasn't been long, but she's important to me.

So I'm going to do something I've never done before and say words I haven't used since high school.

Ironically, it's not as hard as I thought it would be.

"We've only been dating a short time," I reply casually. "But yes, she's my girlfriend."

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a look of surprise on Saylor's face, but I'm more focused on Ally. She seems disgusted, which makes no sense since she doesn't even know Saylor.

Saylor doesn't say anything but squeezes my hand in what feels like a private gesture of solidarity.

"Whatever." Ally ignores her and turns back to me. "Are we going to eat?"

"That's the plan," I say, "but I'd like to see you use some manners. When you're introduced to someone new, you don't say ‘whatever.'"

She makes a face. "Sorry." She looks at Saylor, and in the most sarcastic tone possible, says, "It's so nice to meet you." Then she turns on her heel and walks over to Autumn, talking animatedly even though I can't hear what she's saying.

"Whew," Saylor whistles under her breath. "You weren't kidding."

"I'm sorry she behaved like that. I don't think Carly taught her any manners at all. You should see her eat—and wipe her face with the back of her hand."

Saylor grimaces. "Sounds like you've got your work cut out for you."

"Tell me about it." I gaze in Ally's direction. Her back is to me now, but she's still talking to Autumn, and it irks me that she's so friendly with her when she usually treats me like I'm the devil incarnate.

"It's going to be okay," Saylor says softly. "You'll see. She looked excited to see you until she spotted me, so the tide might be changing. Besides, she's been through something traumatic. And she's still just a baby. I mean, in the grand scheme of life. It will take some time, and a lot of love, but she'll come around."

I sigh, suddenly unsure of my decision to try to make a home for Ally. "Do you really believe I'm the guy to give her the life she needs? The love she needs? I feel like I'm drowning and pulling her under with me. Would she be better off in foster care with a married couple like Autumn and Henrik? A family who can adopt her?"

"Only you can answer that, but I don't think so. You're her uncle. Despite being estranged from your sister, you didn't hesitate to step in. From where I'm sitting, I believe that underneath the gruff exterior is a really good guy. And the right guy to take care of his niece."

This woman truly blows me away.

Every time we're together she says or does something that makes me rethink everything I think I know. About my life, my choices, and myself.

I'm fairly certain no one has ever told me I'm a good guy before.

Not my father, certainly not my sister, not even my friends.

I'm many other things.

Hard-working. Talented. Smart. Good-looking.

But a really good guy?

Nah. That's not me.

Except this gorgeous, smart, successful woman thinks so.

And hearing her say it makes me want to believe it.

"Are we going out to eat?" Connor asks, coming over to us and breaking the momentary spell I'm under.

"Yeah. How about Carlotta's?" I suggest. It's an Italian restaurant not too far from the arena and the food is good. Plus, they'll stay open late for us if we call.

"I'll call!" Marty says, overhearing us and taking out his phone.

I notice that Brenna isn't here, but I'm not going to say anything in front of everyone.

"I guess I'll meet you there," Saylor says.

"Meet me there?" I'm confused for a second.

Then I remember my Ferrari.

It's one of the only things Ally actually thinks is cool and she loves riding in it.

And it's a two-seater.

Shit .

"I'm going to need another car," I mutter. "Sorry, babe."

"It's fine. I'm sure some of the girls are going. I can ride with one of them. Or Connor."

I snicker. "Watch out for Connor… he thinks he's a stud now that he's been hooking up with Effie."

She laughs. "I think I can handle him."

"I know, but I feel bad."

"It's fine. Give Ally a little extra one-on-one attention. I'm a big girl."

She leans over and gently brushes her lips across mine before walking over to Harper.