8. Chapter 8

That hug we shared changed everything for me. When I finally forced myself to step out of his arms I swear I was a different man. I don't know how else to describe the sensation. The feeling was totally unexpected but I missed his warmth and solid comfort as soon as we parted. There was heat, too, that buzzed through me while I was pressed to Cain. It was like being electrocuted or standing too close to a fire making my skin sweaty. The biggest shock of all was the bolt of lust that hit me like lightning and settled in my groin. It was so powerful I had trouble slowing my heartbeat and preventing myself from gasping for breath after I moved away.

I used the steak and the ears of corn on the grill as a distraction and quickly turned away from Cain to flip everything over. I needed to get my shit together before my behavior had Cain changing his mind about the job. No way did I want him to think I was second guessing him collaborating with me because that was not the case. It was the other stuff filtering through me that had me turned inside out. I'd never felt anything remotely close to what I'd just experienced with Cain with any other man.

"I'm gonna take a leak," Cain said in a steady voice—far more solid than I could have managed in that moment. "Do you want me to bring plates outside or do you want to eat inside?"

"Outside is good," I replied, not making eye contact. "There's a salad on the island and the plates are in the upper cabinet next to the sink."

"Got it," he said. "I'll be back in a minute."

Hopefully by the time he did return my thoughts would be far less scrambled.

Dinner started a little awkward but we soon slipped back into a comfortable vibe with enough laughter to make me forget about how much I loved holding him earlier. The beer we were drinking through dinner helped, too, but it wasn't enough and I knew I wouldn't fully be at ease around him until this subject was discussed. The best way I knew to get people to loosen their lips enough to have those deep conversations was sitting in a kitchen cabinet. Once we'd cleared our plates I decided to bring out the "truth serum" as I called it, and filled two shot glasses with a little bit of twenty-five-year-old Johnny Walker Blue Label Scotch Whiskey.

"I think we should celebrate the fact you accepted my official offer," I announced as I poured us a shot.

"You really think that's necessary?" Cain asked from across the outside table.

"I'm pretty sure it's a requirement," I said in a teasing tone.

"Hmm, I don't know about that," Cain said as he eyed the expensive liquor, "and I seriously doubt my change of job title is worthy of the Blue Label."

"Don't downplay your promotion," I mocked with a smile. "This is a big deal—whether or not you want to acknowledge it."

I'd already started a fire in the pit and was enjoying the heat of it along with the buzz I had from the beer we'd consumed during dinner. I carefully slid a shot glass to Cain then lifted my glass in the air and waited for him to do the same. When he was ready I made the toast, "To making beautiful music together."

Talk about a cliched double meaning.

"To music," Cain offered.

We both tossed the tea-colored liquid back and slammed the glasses on the tabletop which I quickly refilled.

"Another toast?" Cain asked when I handed him another shot.

"Why not?" I quipped. "The night is young and I feel like we deserve to get a little stupid after all the hard work we've done the last couple of days."

"To getting stupid," Cain hollered and drank his shot.

The liquid was warm and smooth and we both moaned in approval. I love the Blue Label. By far it had the richest and deepest flavors out of all the labels in the Johnny Walker brand. The bonus, it's exactly what we needed to have the conversation I wanted to have.

We sat outside at the table for a long time talking about so many things—except for the most important subject. There was no way in hell I was the only one feeling something. I saw it every time he made full eye contact with me. His gaze would soften around the edges, his face would flush, and his lips would part slightly. When he wet those lips with a swipe of his tongue, I wanted to pounce on him, but why? What the hell would I do if I launched myself at him? Kiss him? I had no idea how to kiss a man or if he'd even want me to.

The minutes ticked by and when the fire started to die out in the pit and the night chill began to settle in, we decided to sit inside the sun porch. I poured us another shot which we did before we changed locations and went inside. Then I shut the windows to prevent the cool air from coming through the screens and making us cold as we stretched out side by side on the daybed. Together. Never in my life had I done this with a man. I covered our legs with a fleece blanket but we both kicked it off after just a few minutes. Between the alcohol and being so close to Cain, I was plenty hot enough.

About a foot and a half separated us on the daybed. We lay there both staring up at the ceiling for a while but the silence wasn't awkward. It was comfortable, enjoying the warmth of the whiskey flowing through us. But I was busting at the seams to really talk to him, and since he was making no moves to do so, it would have to be me.

"That hug earlier," I said in a hushed tone.

"No worries," he interrupted. "I'm cool with it."

"Cool with it?" What the hell kind of an answer was that?

"Yeah, I mean I know you're straight, and it was just a hug," he explained. "No harm done."

His answer threw me. There was no fucking way that embrace was as simple as he was making it sound. I know he felt it, too, so why was he shrugging it off now like it were no different than a fucking handshake? Was I imagining it? I rubbed my hand over my face and tried to clear my head.

"I was going to say, I really. . . liked it," I confessed. "I guess that's why I held on to you for so long."

"A hug doesn't qualify as something to lead you to question yourself," he said. "If that's what you're wondering."

"I'm not questioning anything, Cain. I know what I felt and for what it's worth, I'm telling you I more than enjoyed it."

"I understand and I think I get it," Cain stated.

I had no comeback for what he said. It was as if he was trying to let me off the hook about something I was happy to admit. I figured for now I'd drop it which I guessed is what he wanted anyway. I got off the daybed and walked into the kitchen to grab a couple more beers and returned to the porch. Cain was comfortably stretched out with pillows stuffed behind his back and his eyes were closed like he was dozing. I set his beer onto a small end table beside his arm and stretched out beside him again, only this time I was undeniably closer. I watched him for a minute while I sipped my beer and really took the time to study his face, the length of his throat, and broad chest. His skin looked so smooth and slightly pinked—probably from the whiskey. His dark lashes were long and almost seemed to rest on his cheeks. The little bit of whisker growth he had was also enticing. I never gave a lot of thought to a man's five o'clock shadow being sexy but Cain sure as hell wore it well. In the middle of my perusal of his face, Cain turned his head toward me and slowly opened his eyes like he'd somehow sensed I was looking at him.

"I brought you another beer," I said and used the neck of my bottle to point at the one I'd left for him.

"Thanks," he said and reached for it to take a swig.

"Are you second-guessing your decision to collaborate?" I asked him.

"No way, I'm excited about that," he said. "It's just been an interesting day and I'm still processing everything."

"Understandable," I replied. "Has Ray called you?"

"I don't know. I haven't dared to check my phone," he said.

"Ray will get over the PA situation the second he realizes how much music we've created in such a short amount of time," I said.

"I hope so," he said. "I don't want to let him down but I also don't want to walk away from the opportunity you offered. I doubt a chance to compose music will ever fall into my lap again. Know what I mean?"

"I do, but I also understand not wanting to disappoint people, too," I said. "I live with that every day I don't have an album's worth of music to bring to my band."

"Well, you basically have three songs pretty much done, a fourth one outlined, and lots of lyrics for more," he pointed out. "That's a great start."

"Yeah, and only another fifteen songs to go," I teased.

"I thought an album was around thirteen songs," Cain stated.

"Yes, typically it is, but we always start with around twenty-five to thirty songs and whittle it down to the tracks that work best for our sound and brand. The extras go into the vault for possible future projects."

"That makes sense, but I still say what we've done so far is incredible," Cain said.

"I agree. The material is solid," I said to compliment him.

"We're a good team," Cain added with a confident smile curling his lips on the ends.

"You'll get no argument from me about that," I said.

Cain's grin remained in place while his attention lingered on me resting on the pillow beside him. It was another one of his soul-deep gazes that felt more like a caress and nearly stole my breath. I had no idea how he did that to me. It was as if he could see right inside my heart and soul. In that moment, it felt like we were going to be okay with this new working dynamic. Things might have shifted between us on an emotional level but it didn't have to make things awkward. I was just happy he agreed to stay with me. No way was I turning down more time alone with him. Just being near him lifted my mood and made me want to write music.

"I'm really glad you're not going back to LA," I admitted. Looking at him up close like this and having him near enough to touch was making my fingers itch to do so. I wondered what he'd do if I just started caressing his face, his lips, or. . .

"I'm nervous about it but I'm glad I'm hanging around, too," Cain said which totally pulled me from the fantasy I was creating for myself.

"Nervous? Why would you be nervous?" I asked. "Unless you're afraid to be here with me. I promise I don't plan on killing you and making a skin suit out of your remains." I said the last bit and then chomped my teeth together to make an audible snapping sound and Cain laughed at me. Damn, I loved the sound of his laughter. It was pure and tangible—something real that I hadn't shared with any of the women I'd been with. With Cain it was so much more than the physical. Even his damn musical genius brain was sexy as hell and I was attracted to all of it.

"You are one crazy motherfucker," Cain said, still chuckling.

"Oh, you have no idea how crazy I can be, but you'll learn soon enough," I taunted him in a fun way.

"Okay, I think I changed my mind about the job," Cain joked.

"No way! You can't take that back. The ink is already dried on the contract," I said.

"There was no contract and I haven't put my signature on a damn thing regarding the writing duties. Just the contract to work as your PA—which I guess is null and void at this point," Cain pointed out the obvious. "All we have is a verbal agreement and that would never stand up in a court of law."

"Fine, then I stand by what I said earlier. You can change your mind at any point during the process," I repeated. "I'm seriously hoping you won't, but because we have nothing signed, you are free to leave at any time. But a verbal agreement is still an agreement."

"I don't want to leave," he said and worried his bottom lip with his teeth.

Watching him do that only added more fuel to the growing fire I had burning in my gut. I really couldn't believe where my mind was wandering but I knew enough about this kind of stuff to know you follow what feels right and this thing simmering between me and Cain felt so fucking good. I couldn't think of a damn thing wrong about it. Maybe it was the whiskey igniting the inferno in my veins but I doubted it. I was pretty certain it was just Cain being himself. We clicked on every level, so why not on a physical one as well? Any time I was close to him I vibrated with an electric current that flowed through and around like a tornado of emotion and need.

I felt amazingly sober considering the beer and the shots we'd consumed. Cain didn't seem anywhere near intoxicated either. In fact, I'd call it more blissed-out than anything and I felt the same way. He may not want to discuss what was happening between us, but I sure as hell wasn't going to ignore what I was feeling. There was no point in doing that.

"Are we done working for the day?" Cain asked. His eyes were shimmering in the low lighting in the room.

"Yeah, I think we could both use a break," I replied. My gaze kept dropping to his mouth. I wanted to taste him so damn bad it was bordering on obsession.

"Good, I just want to lie here and relax for a while and put my brain on autopilot," Cain sighed.

Fine by me, because the harsh reality was there wasn't anywhere else I wanted to be than right there with Cain. But him wanting to shut down his brain wasn't going to stop me from staring at his lips and wondering what they'd taste like.