16. Chapter 16

Cain slept in my bed again which was becoming our new norm. I actually preferred it when I could reach out and touch him during the night and when we woke up, I usually found myself wrapped around him like a Spider Monkey. That's the position I found myself in today. His back to my front with all that warm skin pressed to mine. As soon as my brain fully registered there was daylight in the room and my groin was flush with his gorgeous ass, I began to harden. The memories of what we'd done last night after our dinner in town only made me stiffer.

I gave my first blowjob last night and when I replayed the dirty details in my mind, not one single part of it bothered me. Not even the mess Cain made of my face, lips, and chest gave me pause. Being on my knees for him was so incredibly hot. I felt powerful, like his pleasure was purely in my hands—and also my mouth. I could edge him for hours if I wanted to and I loved having that kind of control. But I also loved it when Cain was in charge and took his time lavishing attention on my body. I discovered I really liked the taste of come when it's warm and shooting from Cain's tip, and Jesus, I'd never felt anything tighter wrapped around my cock than his ass and I couldn't wait to get back inside of him.

I also wanted him to do the same to me—one day, but not necessarily now. Sex with Cain was amazing and I really did love everything about it. My brain might not have a problem accepting the fact I'd never been with another man, but emotionally I was feeling slightly cautious about moving too fast. Mainly because there were so many feelings I hadn't expected would be attached with being with Cain. That was completely new to me and it's the piece I found myself stumbling over. If I felt this closely connected with Cain so quickly, then why hadn't I felt any of this with any of the women I'd been with?

I slowly unwrapped myself from Cain's sleeping body and got out of bed to use the bathroom. Then I walked out to the kitchen, naked, which was my typical attire in the early mornings and made a pot of coffee for us and cut up some fruit for breakfast. A short time later, Cain wandered out to greet me. He'd pulled on his boxer briefs and had brushed his teeth but he still looked wrecked from last night's sexcapades. My gaze skimmed over his bare chest and down to his package. Then I passed a cup of coffee to him before pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

"How are we feeling this morning?" I asked with a nervous grin.

"Like a limp, wrung-out noodle," Cain replied.

"I think your cock is disputing the limp reference," I said, eyeing the morning wood he had slightly tenting his briefs.

"Ignore him," Cain teased. "He's always hard when you're nearby."

"I'm glad to hear it," I said and turned to the cabinets to grab two bowls. I added strawberries and blueberries to each bowl and then spooned some plain yogurt on top and finished it with a handful of granola. I dropped a spoon into the bowls and handed one to Cain. "Breakfast is served."

"Thank you," Cain said and dug into the berry mixture. "I feel like I competed in a triathlon last night."

I chuckled softly and nodded at his assessment. "We kind of did," I agreed. "That was a pretty good workout. Lots of cardio that my trainer would be happy about."

"He approves of using sex as a cardio workout?" Cain asked.

"He approves of anything that gets my heart rate up for an hour or so," I explained.

"We definitely went longer than an hour," Cain scoffed with a grin. "My ass can attest to that."

I set my spoon into my bowl and gaped at him in surprise. "So, I did hurt you?" I questioned.

"Relax, porn star," Cain teased. "It's the good kind of hurt and exactly the level of ache I love to feel after great sex."

I couldn't stop the smile that grew on my face. His words made me feel like a king, like I could conquer several world governments and consolidate them to create my own nation. All I needed was a superhero cape to wear and I could make it all happen.

Where could I get my hands on a cape this early in the morning?

"Hey, where'd you go on me?" I heard Cain ask.

His question pulled me out of my Superman fantasy and back into our bubble of reality. "I was thinking about buying a cape."

"A what?" Cain asked.

I laughed at my ridiculousness. "Never mind," I said with a half-chuckle. "Would you like me to make you some eggs?"

"No, the yogurt and berries are perfect for this morning," Cain said.

I came around the island where he was seated and wrapped my him in my arms from behind. "A melody came to me as I was falling asleep last night," I said.

"And you remember it this morning?" Cain asked.

"It's something I've always been able to do," I explained. "Not sure why, but I can retain the gems my brain creates while I'm sleeping. Sometimes I can see lyrics on a page or hear music and remember it all when I wake up."

"You are amazing," Cain enthused.

"That's not amazing. It's just part of my job," I said and shrugged. "I get paid to do this shit."

"I get that, but most musicians aren't composing music while they sleep and are able to remember it all when they roll out of bed."

"Perhaps, but it's all I've ever known," I said. "I've always been like this, even as a kid."

"Next you'll be telling me it's just how your brain works," Cain said, using air quotes for emphasis.

"That's all true," I said. "Would you like to hear the melody?"

"I definitely would," he said.

I waved him in the direction of the patio off the family room and grabbed my acoustic guitar as I walked through the room. "Bring your bowl and coffee," I suggested and opened up the French doors leading outside.

"You're naked," Cain said to state the obvious.

I glanced down at myself and held my arms out to the sides. "Well, would you look at that," I said. "I guess I forgot to get dressed this morning."

"No you didn't," Cain laughed. "Don't get me wrong, you will never hear me complain about you preferring to walk around without clothes on. The view is spectacular and I'm sure the guards would agree."

"You're right, I didn't forget to get dressed," I agreed and wrapped my fingers around the neck of my guitar. "This is just how I feel the most comfortable."

Once I stepped outside I sat in one of the lounge chair recliners and laid the instrument across my lap and waited for Cain to sit across from me in another chair. I strummed a few random chords before I settled into the musical run of notes I heard in my head playing in an endless loop late last night. It was an easy few phrases of notes, like the soft curl of waves lapping against a sandy beach. Cain leaned forward after I played the first phrase and I could see the intrigue on his face and a grin beginning to bloom. I played through the piece twice and then stopped.

"How do you hear it?" he asked.

"As a subtle background for heavy lyrics about a man who's found something new in his life that he can't quite explain but he loves the feeling it gives him and wants to allow it to build enough to consume him," I detailed. I couldn't believe I'd admitted where my head was at, and it made this moment even more intimate than it already was.

"Is this about you and maybe what you're experiencing now with me?" Cain asked in a whispered tone.

I nodded in agreement and swallowed hard. I felt incredibly vulnerable in a way that made me feel ripped open and raw. I'd never shared that much of myself—ever, with anyone other than Cain. My entire adult life I'd managed to coast through life keeping everything on a surface level. No one was allowed to go deeper than that, no matter how hard they tried. But Cain had me tearing down every wall I'd built to protect myself and exposed the absolute rawest, most unpolished version of the real me. Talk about being stripped bare.

"Yeah, it is," I admitted after a pause. "I only have bits of the lyrics, but I can feel it, right in here." I pressed my fingers against my chest over my heart. "It's big, Cain, and it feels like I have to get it out in a song or I'll burst if I hold it in much longer."

"Like holding your breath until your lungs are screaming for air," Cain added.

"Yes, exactly like that," I said.

"I know the sensation you're describing, Gage, and I'm feeling it, too," Cain said.

"Really?" I asked. The sting of fresh emotion began to burn my eyes as Cain came to sit beside me on the lounger. His shoulder bumped into mine.

"And, you're right. This does feel enormous and overwhelming—even to me, and I've had long relationships before," Cain said.

"Does it freak you out?" I asked.

"A little bit, but only because I wasn't expecting this, nor was I looking for it, and also because it happened so damn fast," Cain said.

"So fucking fast," I concurred. "What should we do about it, to make the ache go away?"

Cain turned my face toward him. "Well, for starters, I think we should write your song before you explode from holding it inside too long," he said with a brush of his lips against mine. "And then we let these feelings wash over us and see if we can keep our heads above the water when we're swept away."

I set my guitar aside and used my arm to tug him closer, then took his mouth with all the passion I had inside of me. "There's no one else I want to be swamped with than you," I said when our kiss ended.

Cain lifted my guitar from the cushion and set it on the chair positioned beside the recliner and then he reclined me onto my back. The ache in my heart subsided once his fingers touched my skin and his lips began blazing trails all over my throat and chest. I was lost in him all over again but the sensation wasn't necessarily scary. It was more exhilarating—like a rush of pure adrenaline.

I flipped him over and rolled on top, grinding my erection against his that was trapped behind his boxer briefs. My tongue did crazy things to his mouth that elicited a symphony of sexy noises from him that only made me harder. I stuffed my hand into the front of his briefs and pulled off one stroke before all hell broke loose.

"What the goddamn fuck are you doing?" a deep voice rang through my sex haze. I knew it wasn't one of the guards, so who could it be?

And then it hit me like a two-by-four to the head.

I sprang off Cain like my ass was on fire, my hard-on bouncing happily in the air oblivious to the drama unfolding around us. "What the hell are you doing here, Ray?" I yelled at him.

"What am I doing here?" Ray asked. "I'd like to know what the fuck you're doing, because from what I just saw you're certainly not writing music!"

"Ray, we've been writing music, every day," Cain said, quickly coming to his full height beside me.

"You—shut it!" Ray screamed at Cain. "Goes without saying, but you're fired!"

"You can't fire him," I scoffed. "I already let him out of the PA contact and hired him as my collaborator and we havebeen working—long hours, and have the entire album almost completed."

"Oh, I can see how hard you're working," Ray hollered again, "and, Jesus! A man? What's next for you, Gage, farm animals? Have you fucked all the women in LA so now you're going to work through the eligible men?"

"Fuck you!" I yelled at Ray, getting so close to his face I could see my spit hitting his cheeks. "Who I sleep with is none of your fucking business!"

Cain stepped between us, and it was a good thing he did because I was seconds away from throttling Ray with a fist to his mouth. How dare he question my actions.

"Everyone calm down!" Cain demanded.

"A little too late for that," Ray snarled.

"Ray, listen to me," I started but Ray cut me off.

"You and I need to talk—alone," he commanded then his head turned toward Cain. "And you can go pack your shit! You'll be on the next flight back to LA that I can get your ass on!"

"He's not going anywhere," I bellowed. "He's exactly where he needs to be—here with me."

"You've got a helluva nerve, Gage!" Ray continued. "The guys in the band are pissed off there's still nothing to record and you're out here exploring your sexuality while getting your rocks off! This is unacceptable!"

"You're coming with me and we're talking—NOW!" I shouted. "We can have this conversation down in the studio after you hear some of the material Cain and I have created."

"Created? What you've created is a media nightmare," Ray argued. "Yet another mess for me to clean up for you."

"What are you talking about?" I asked as I led Ray from the patio back into the house and over to the door going down to the basement recording studio.

Ray stopped short halfway across the family room. "I'm not going anywhere with you until you put some goddamn pants on!"

"Fine!"

I stomped my way into the bedroom and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that I was fairly sure belonged to Cain and walked back to the basement door. "Follow me and you can finish yelling at me while we listen to some incredible music," I said and swung the door open to walk down the stairs.

"You really are clueless to what is going on?" Ray roared once we got down inside the studio.

"I guess I am because outside of me fucking around with Cain, I don't understand why you're so furious with me," I said.

Ray punched a few keys on his phone and brought up a photograph for me to look at. It was taken at reasonably close-range and slightly grainy, but you could still clearly see that I was holding Cain's hand, although his face was turned just enough away from the camera that a positive ID could not be made, it was still very obvious he was a man. Me, on the other hand, my face was perfectly framed in the shot like I was fucking posing for it. There was zero doubt it was me. My gaze flicked up to Ray's heated glare.

"That photo was taken last night," I explained with a shrug of one shoulder. "I took Cain into town for dinner."

"You're holding his goddamn hand, Gage! A man's hand—and you're straight," Ray declared the obvious. "The entertainment channels are buzzing with wanting to know the identity of the man you went gay for!"

"That's not how sexuality works," I scoffed.

"Do you understand what kind of position this puts us in to have to explain or somehow put a comprehensible spin on this?" Ray asked. "Even if this album is stellar and the songs are loved by everyone, what do you think they'll be asking you at the press events? I can assure you their questions will have nothing to do with the goddamned music! This is a cluster fuck and you could care less."

"First of all, you don't know what the fuck I'm feeling," I clarified. "Secondly, I have never spoken about the women I've been with over the years, so why would I suddenly start explaining why I'm with Cain? Thirdly, I don't give a flying fuck what anyone—including you—has to say about me being with Cain. And fourthly. . ."

"There is no such thing as a fourthly, you dumbass," Ray spit at me.

"You should be happy for me, Ray," I said in a softer tone. "I finally found someone who meets me at the same level. He's a musical genius, and he's gorgeous, and I actually have real feelings for him—you dumbass! This isn't a random hookup or a quick piece of ass for me. I want to be with him—even after we get back to LA, so if you have a problem with that, too fucking bad. You can be replaced easy enough!"

"I don't have a problem with you being with a man," Ray backtracked. "I'm looking at this from a business perspective and how the entertainment media will spin this."

"If the press asks me questions about him or why I'm with a man, then I will answer them the same way I answered the very same line of questions about the women I've been with. I'll say ‘no comment' and tell them to have a nice fucking day. Do you think for one hot minute I didn't think the chances of me being seen with Cain at the restaurant wasn't a high probability? I sure as fuck did, and I didn't care. I'm not hiding this or explaining it—to anyone, especially you. I'm with Cain because he's exactly what I want in a partner. Now if you'll stop fucking yelling and listen to the goddamn music we've written, I think you'll agree we have something here—and it's big."

"You're still not hearing what I'm saying," Ray pushed on.

"Okay, tell me what the fuck your problem is with Cain?" I shouted in the small room. "Did you find something horrible in his background check? Did he murder a room full of school kids or something? Does he have a criminal past you think I need to know about?"

"What? No!" Ray exclaimed. "I ran my usual background check on him and he came up clean—no priors, that I'm aware of. That's not what this is about at all."

"Well, if you have nothing serious to tell me, then I'm done talking about my relationship with Cain," I concluded.

Ray started talking again but I simply hit the "play" button on the sound system, clicked a few buttons, and music pulsed through the studio. I figured at this point, it was better to let the music do the talking instead. I deliberately selected the track "Feast Your Eyes" for Ray to hear first because it had all the elements Iris was known for; heavy guitar riffs with raw, raspy vocals from me, and a little bit of lyrical raunchiness sprinkled on top. All the details our fans and critics loved about us was in this piece and wrapped up in a fucking bow.

"What is this?" Ray asked. "Who am I listening to?"

"Who the hell do you think?" I said and rolled my eyes at him. "This is just one of over two dozen songs we've written for this album."

I stopped the song halfway through and moved to another piece I loved titled "Heart Wide Open" and one called "Playing With Fire." These two were slightly softer but full of passion and angst and personally I loved the blend of musical phrasing combined with the words in each of them.

Ray sat heavily in a swivel chair in front of the mixing board. "Jesus, where did this material come from?"

"Cain went through a notebook of lyrics I've been writing for years," I said. "There are enough songs in that notebook to write three albums, but it took Cain's musical ear to help me weave them into gold. This is some of my best work, Ray, and I have Cain to thank for every composition we created together. You can think about that next time you want to accuse me of lying around here getting my rocks off instead of working."

I moved the tape forward to another song and then another. Each new piece had Ray's mouth gaping wider. The shock was etched all over his face and it made me feel proud of our hard work. I suddenly wished Cain was downstairs with us to see Ray's reaction. I wanted to puff out my chest and pound on it like a Neanderthal but besides Ray's obvious astonishment, he remained utterly quiet. I played snippets of every track we had completed and then stopped the tape, dumbfounded as to why Ray hadn't said anything. I could feel myself somewhat deflating, but I wouldn't allow Ray to kill this for me.

"You said the album is almost complete?" Ray finally asked.

"Yeah, pretty close to it," I answered. Still no comment about what he'd heard on those tracks which was pure magic and I was beyond frustrated.

"How many more songs do you need to write?" Ray questioned.

"Five or six," I said. "But we've been composing a song about every two days, so we should have the process finished up in another ten days."

Ray rubbed a hand down his face. He still hadn't said a damn fucking thing about the material—good or bad. I'd passed frustrated minutes ago and now I was fully pissed off and ready to explode.

"Any initial thoughts on what you just heard?" I bit out and crossed my arms over my chest. Yes, I was posturing but if Ray didn't give me some proper feedback soon, I'd be escorting him off the property.

"I like it," Ray said flatly.

"You like it. That's all you've got to say?"

"Okay, I like it a lot," Ray continued. "I'm actually quite blown away. I heard brilliance on every track you shared with me and I can't wait to get this album produced. And, you're right, this is your best work to date. The guys waiting back in LA for you are going to lose their minds when they hear it. Is that what you wanted to hear?" he asked like he was placating a child.

"Only if it's the truth," I stated, not quite ready to allow the relief to seep out of my body.

Ray stood up and smiled broadly. "I knew you had this genius in you, Gage, and if Cain is the catalyst to bring this out in you then he'll be a great addition to the writing team for Iris."

That's when I released a breath to rid myself of the tension I was holding on to. "I told you this stuff was big," I bragged.

"Give me the tape and I'll bring it back to LA with me," Ray suggested.

My back quickly stiffened. "Not a chance in hell this tape will leave my possession," I said evenly. "There's no way I will risk this getting pirated, lost, or altered. It will be me who carries this back to LA and it will be me who plays the new material for my band. Got it?"

Ray took a minute to consider what I'd said and then he finally nodded in agreement. "All right, I'll agree to your terms but I have a demand of my own," Ray said thoughtfully. "I'll give you five days to get back to LA with this material and the five or six more songs you have yet to write. I want you and the band in the studio next Monday by noon. Deal?"

"Five fucking days? I just told you we'd need at least ten," I objected.

"You can take two weeks or a goddamn month, if you insist, but if you do that it means I'll be bringing the tape back to LA with me tonight. Your band deserves to hear this material asap—and that is non-negotiable. I think we both know you've made them wait long enough for this album."

"Deal," I said and extended my hand for Ray to shake.

"Great work, Gage," Ray said as he shook my hand. "I'm duly impressed. Makes me wish we'd brought Cain on years ago."

"Bite me, Ray," I scoffed. "My songs have been great for every album we've produced."

"I agree, but this one has Grammy written all over it in bright flashing, neon lights."