Chapter Sixteen

Tessa

It's been a week. A week since Pit replied to my message. A week since I saw him. A week. And honestly, it feels like a lifetime. I miss him.

I'm so lost in thought, it's not until the flash of black startles me that I realise King is running towards me. I laugh as he pushes me onto my back and licks my face. "Okay," I giggle, pushing him away, "not the face."

"Heel." King immediately runs back to the voice, and as I sit up, I'm sad to see it's not Pit walking him but one of the men from the club. "Sorry ‘bout that," he mutters, clipping the lead onto King's collar.

"It's fine," I say, pushing to my feet and heading over so I can fuss both dogs. "Shooter, right?" He nods. "Where's Pit? I didn't think he let anyone else walk his dogs."

Shooter shifts uncomfortably. "He's not around."

I frown. "What do you mean?"

"I shouldn't really say."

"Is he okay? At least tell me he's not hurt," I say, panic lacing my words.

He scratches his head, still glancing around like he's expecting someone to jump out on him. "He hit the road."

His words surprise me, and I gasp a breath in. "Oh," I whisper. "Right. Of course. Erm, is he gone for long? It's just, I didn't think he ever left the dogs."

"He's abroad. Too much hassle to take the dogs. Take care." And he walks away, leaving me staring after him with a million questions.

I head over to the coffee hut. They give free coffee to people who need it, and as I pull a receipt off the help board and hand it to the cashier, I battle with myself not to cry. He always said he missed the road, that it was like a part of him, but I can't pretend I'm not hurt he didn't say goodbye.

I take my coffee and sit on a nearby bench, pulling my mobile out.

Me: You left and didn't say goodbye? I guess I can't blame you. Why would you come and say goodbye? It's not like we were friends or anything.

I hit send and sigh, staring at the screen in anger.

Me: Actually, I take that back. We were friends. We shared something special and I can't believe you'd just leave like that, Pit. You didn't even have the decency to tell me to my face. And you could've left the dogs with me. King would've been great company.

I roll my eyes at how pathetic I'm being. It was always going to be this way. And why should I care if he left? The man was crazy, right? I mean, he took me and held me captive. But he also turned out to be quite nice, in a dark and moody sort of way. Plus, he made sure I had a roof over my head. He turned out to be the only person who ever really took notice of me. He was my only friend.

"Well, you look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders." I look up just as a man sits beside me, taking a sip of his own coffee.

"I just found out my friend left. It was a bit of a shock."

He side-eyes me, and I take a second to examine his kind face and laughter lines around his eyes. "That's shitty. I'm Lucas, by the way." He holds out a hand for me to shake, but I hesitate. After all, these sorts of random meetings never tend to work out well for me. "I don't bite," he adds with a laugh, so I reluctantly shake it.

"I'm Tessa."

"Well, Tessa, I run workshops at the local church." He retrieves a card from his inside jacket pocket and holds it out to me. "I saw you take a receipt from the board." I feel myself blush. "Hey, not judging, it's nothing to be ashamed of. We've all been there, me included. I help people find work, brush up on interview skills, that sort of thing. You're welcome to join us later at six. It's free of charge." I stare at the card. Father Lucas. A man of God. "I don't wear the collar," he adds, almost reading my mind, then he laughs. "It puts people off."

"I'll think about it," I tell him, tucking the card in my pocket.

He leans back, staring out over the park. "Sometimes, we attract towards people," he says. "They come into our lives for a reason. I believe we met today because you need my help."

"Maybe."

"Something tells me you haven't had much luck lately."

I scoff. "Understatement."

"Then come tonight at six." He pushes to his feet and smiles down at me. "It could be the start of your new life."

"I don't believe," I blurt out as he turns to walk away. He pauses and glances back with a small smile playing on his lips. "In God, I mean. He's never there for me, so I stopped believing a long time ago."

"But you believed at one time?"

I shrug. "I don't really know. My mother used to read stories to me from the Bible when I was a kid, but we didn't go to church or anything."

"I'll let you in on a little secret, Tessa. I didn't believe either a few years back. Then someone came along and saved me, and now, I want to do the same for you. Six o' clock." And he turns and walks away.

Maybe he's right. Maybe it's the fresh start I need. And God knows I need a job right now. I laugh to myself at my play on words. It's clearly a sign.

I check my reflection in the glass door before pulling it open and stepping inside. I inhale deeply, trying to calm my nerves before releasing slowly. There are a few people milling around at the front of the church, but it's nothing like I expected—it looks more like a community centre than an actual church.

Lucas spots me and excuses himself from a bunch of older ladies, heading over with a huge smile on his face. "You came," he states.

"Well, I thought I should at least find out what the fuss is about."

"Let me introduce you to everyone," he says, striding back towards the others. When he senses I'm not following, he turns back to me.

"Erm, I'm a little shy," I mutter, shrugging. "I'm not comfortable around lots of people."

He frowns slightly but nods. "That's not a problem, Tessa. We'll start slow. Come and meet my wife. She's in the office, and she's our careers expert."

I follow him into a small office where a woman is sitting behind the desk, tapping away on a laptop. She looks up when we enter and smiles warmly. I instantly relax. "Mary, this is Tessa."

"Hi, Tessa, come in, take a seat." Lucas gives me a reassuring nod, and I take a seat. He slips out, leaving us alone. "So, what brings you here tonight?"

"Erm, your husband mentioned you're a careers expert, and I really need a job."

"I can help you out there. What was your last role?"

"I've some experience in retail, and I've done some office work. Just filing and answering the telephone."

"And you have an address?" I nod, and she smiles again, tapping away on her laptop. "We've had some new jobs just come in today. How do you feel about cleaning?"

"I can clean," I say with a nod.

"We do also have a receptionist role not far from here. Are you local to this area?"

"Five minutes up the road."

"Do you have a curriculum vitae?" I shake my head. "Let's get that sorted first, then we can apply for some of these positions."

By the time I leave almost two hours later, I am smiling from ear to ear. Mary and Lucas made me feel so much more positive about my future, and once I have some money coming in, I can pay rent to Pit and even find my own place and move out.

I get home and shower. I don't have many outfits, so I get into my pyjamas and put my clothes straight in the washing machine. Mary helped me fill out an application for financial help while I'm looking for a job, and if I get approved, she says I can also ask for a clothing grant to get an outfit for interviews. Everything I owned was in a suitcase with Alec, so lord knows where that is now.

I make myself some toast and sit in the front room. I put the television on because some background noise helps me stay calm, and then I type out a text to Pit. I have no idea if he wants to hear from me anymore, but it makes me feel connected to someone.

Me: I don't even know if you have your mobile phone. Maybe you changed your number so you don't have to hear from me. But messaging you makes me somehow feel less alone in the world so for now, I'm going to keep updating you. Unless you tell me to stop. Today I met a man! Don't panic, he's a vicar . . . I think. He didn't wear the collar and the church wasn't some grand place of worship. He has a wife, she's really nice. They helped me look for a job and apply to the government for financial help while I get back on my feet. I really feel like this could be a fresh start. I miss you, Pit. x

Pit

I miss you, Pit. I stare at the last sentence and clench my jaw. She misses me . . . but she shouldn't. I am everything that's wrong in her life. She allows pricks like me in and then she thinks we're good for her. This is the reason I had to get away, because that kind of text would have had me straight back into her life. One text. That's all it would have taken for me to screw the rest of her life up.

My mobile rings in my hand and I answer, putting it to my ear. "Lucas," I greet.

"Just letting you know she turned up tonight."

"I know," I mutter, staring out over the water.

"She's nice. Damaged but nice."

I prickle at his words. "Damaged?"

"You're telling me she isn't?" he asks, and I hear him inhaling on a cigarette.

"Does Mary know you're still doing that shit?" I ask.

He sniggers. "You know, she reminded me of the women we used to watch on the estate."

I arch a brow. "The prostitutes?"

"We were just kids back then, we didn't know what they did for a living. But she has that same suspicious look in her eye, like she doesn't trust the world or anyone in it," he says.

"That's not a bad thing," I tell him. "Is she going for the interview?"

"I didn't want to make it look too obvious, so we went through the application process."

"Let me know when she takes it." I disconnect and release a long breath. I've known Lucas since we were five years old. We were on the same path—shit mothers, no education, and easy pickings for the local drug dealers to train up. We drifted when we turned eighteen, and he turned back up a year ago like a new man. He's got his life together with his wife and faith. The only thing the fucker does now is smoke. I sigh heavily, comparing my own life to his. I never wanted any of it before, until now . . . until her.

My phone beeps, and I open another text message from Tessa.

Tessa: Is it weird if I sleep on the couch? I can't settle upstairs where I can't hear out for intruders. Plus, I like the television as background noise. Anyway, goodnight, Pit. I hope that wherever you are, you're okay. Miss you x

And there are those words again. It would be easy to type back. To tell her that, actually, I hate being this far away and even putting the sea between us isn't enough to stop me wanting her.

I want to reassure her that sleeping with the television on is just a coping mechanism, and that one day, she'll fall to sleep without it by accident and then she'll realise she doesn't need it anymore. I want to tell her that sleeping with the lights on doesn't stop the monsters, even if it makes her feel better, because monsters aren't afraid of the light or the dark. They'll come regardless, just like I did.

I cross the street and climb into the backseat of my next mark's car. He's too arrogant to check before he gets in after his quick session with his mistress, and he's too stupid to think the club wouldn't send someone to find him after he tipped the police off about our shipment movements. I get comfortable and check my watch, knowing his routine so well that when he steps into the street a second later, I smile to myself while wrapping a cord around my fists. So fucking predictable.