Chapter 44

44

DAPHNE

A fter talking to Rachel, I decided it was time to confront my brother. It was amazing how one talk with my friend always changed my perspective on things, and once the initial surprise had worn off, she'd been adamant about me standing up for myself.

According to her, Eric had no right to be mad at me about who I spent my time with romantically or who I chose to get in bed with. While he could feel betrayed as much as he wanted, he shouldn't have been taking it out on me, and at the very least, the situation required a mature conversation in which I reminded him that I wasn't a child anymore.

I liked it. I agreed with everything that she'd said and hearing it from her had given me the courage I needed to head over to the auto shop once I left her house.

Before I had though, I'd apologized profusely for treating her like she was made of glass, but it turned out that now that she knew what I'd been keeping from her, she was pretty grateful Eric already knew.

She wasn't a fan of me hiding stuff from her, but she definitely agreed that it would've put her in an awkward position with Jake. Having caught up properly, she'd finally also opened up a little about being a new mother, and then Jake and Lizzy had gotten home.

It had been a good talk, and I was filled with the courage of my convictions as I parked in front of Eric's garage. I parked in one of the demarcated bays for visitors, but I'd only just opened my door when one of his guys broke the news to me.

"Hey, Daph," he said, smiling as he pocketed a set of car keys from the vehicle he'd just moved out front from the work floor. "If you're looking for Eric, he's not here"

Damn .

That knocked the wind out of my sails a bit, but I managed to return his smile. "Thanks. I was looking for him, but I guess I'll just have to keep looking. Is he done for the day, or is he out for a collection?"

"He said he was done and went out back, but then I saw him leave about twenty minutes ago." Which meant he wasn't at home either.

After saying goodbye, I headed to Maverick's. If he wasn't at work or at home, it was a pretty good bet my brother was at the local watering hole.

Walking into the crowded space, I scanned the faces I could see, saying hi to a few people on my way in. Upbeat country music flowed from the speakers and most of the patrons were drinking beer out of pumpkins, which made my heart ache.

Maverick's got their pumpkins exclusively from Northfield Farms, so all these pumpkins used to belong to Sterling. He might even have brought them here himself.

I dragged in a deep breath, trying to fight the wave of tears rising up from deep within. It had only been a couple days and one night since I'd last seen him, but I already missed him. It's going to be so much worse once he goes back to New York.

A whimper almost escaped me, but it died a quiet death on my tongue when Fiona suddenly stepped into my path. With those cunning eyes blazing, she ran her fingers through her gorgeous hair and smiled at me.

"Daphne! It's good to see you."

"Really? How many pumpkins have you had?"

"A lot," she said.

I motioned vaguely at the bar. "You haven't seen my brother around here somewhere, have you?"

"Nope, but I hope you mentioned to him that it wasn't Agatha who said it was cute that he was still in town the other day. She's been on my back about it ever since. So annoying, but I promised her I'd clear it up with you."

"No need," I said. "I haven't even told him that I ran into you, so Agatha has nothing to worry about. We're square."

"That's a relief," she said, but her expression remained unchanged, and there was no flicker of either relief or remorse in her eyes. "Where has he been? All those boys have been so elusive since we've been back in town."

All those boys, huh? It didn't take a rocket scientist to deduce that Sterling was one of them, but if he was being elusive, then that was a good sign as far as I was concerned. Losing Sterling was bad enough, but losing him to her would have gutted me.

"I, uh, I'm not sure. I think he's probably just busy." And I'm willing to bet he's been actively avoiding you. "He'll definitely be at the reunion, though."

She sniffed. "Yes, of course. I was just hoping we'd all be able to catch up before then. At least I'll be getting drinks with Sterling soon. I'm considering a job offer in New York that he and I need to discuss. He's excited. He's just so busy on the farm today, or else he'd have been here with me tonight."

It felt like I'd been kicked in the chest by a horse. They were getting drinks together? He would've been here with her? Wait, does that mean she's seen him?

Every breath I inhaled hurt like one of my lungs had collapsed. I nodded at her, unable to muster even a fake smile. "That's nice. I should get going. I was just trying to find Eric."

But he would have to wait. I had no idea where he was anyway and calling him wouldn't help since I doubted he would pick up the phone for me.

Fiona gave me a sweet smile, but I saw the possessive satisfaction brimming in her eyes. She always had been like a dog that had marked her territory with Sterling, and it looked like that hadn't changed. I was still Eric's sister, and as a result, it seemed she still didn't like the fact that it meant I was in Sterling's proximity so often.

If only she knew.

Not that it mattered.

If he was getting drinks with her, it meant he'd changed the tune he'd been singing the last time I'd asked about the two of them. With tears suddenly rushing to my eyes, I gave her a quick wave and spun around, dodging bodies and keeping my head down as I hurried toward the exit.

My insides felt heavier than they should've on my way home. These last few days, I'd been feeling like I was being held together by spit and tape and those flimsy bonds were coming undone. This was all too much for me. I was going to fall apart unless I could do something about this feeling inside.

I just didn't know how to fix it.

Why, oh why did I allow myself to get into this mess with Sterling?

I collapsed into the driver's seat of my truck. Wrapping my fingers around the steering wheel, I fought the sobs rising up and screwed my eyes shut against the tears. It had been so stupid to get involved with a man I knew wouldn't be sticking around, and even more so to let my heart into the mix.

I hadn't been able to help it, but it really had been reckless. As I drove home, my vision slightly blurry with the tears I was desperately trying to swallow, I felt like a complete fool.

I'd been perfectly happy before. There had been no reason to jump into something this complicated and I'd known it all along.

Parking in front of our house, I sniffed and wiped my eyes, practically feeling the tape starting to come loose around my heart.

Any minute now, I was going to start crying and not be able to stop, so I jumped out of the truck, needing to make it to the privacy of my house before that happened. Valiantly making it out around the house, through the garden gate, and to my parents' patio before the tears started falling, I didn't even see my mom sitting out there until she spoke.

"Daphne, honey? What happened?"

My head jerked in the direction of the patio, and there was she was, lounging in an armchair with a book open in her lap. Her brow was furrowed, her kind eyes sweeping across my face before she closed the book and got up.

"Did Eric say something to you?" she asked gently as she approached me, her arms already open to pull me into them. "Or was it Sterling?"

I shook my head. "Neither. It was Fiona. She says she and Sterling are having drinks and I just…" I trailed off, the lump in my throat so big that it was making my voice crackly and wobbly. "I can't, Mom. This is all just way too much drama for me."

She hugged me tightly, enveloping me in her warmth and understanding, and held me for a long time while I wept. Rubbing my back in a circular motion with the flat of her palm just like she used to when I was a kid, she shushed me gently, just comforting me until I finally stepped out of her embrace.

When I did, she ran her hands up my arms and rested them firmly on my shoulders, looking right into my eyes as she spoke. "If Sterling is what you want, then you know I'm supportive of you two, but you can't walk away at the first sign of trouble, darling. Relationships are hard."

"I know, but I don't think that really matters anymore anyway. I haven't heard a peep from him since he ran after Eric, and if he's agreed to a date with Fiona, then I'm pretty sure I have my answer."

Mom's gaze held mine. "You don't know that it's a date. You don't even know if it's true. Just breathe, baby. Fiona was always a nasty little witch."

"Mom!"

She shrugged. "What? I said witch ."

I dragged in a deep breath through my nostrils, holding it in for a moment before I shook my head. "I don't have time to worry about this kind of thing. I have another shift at the bakery tomorrow and we're too busy for me to be dealing with personal crap. Then it's all hands on deck to help get ready for the reunion and the parade. I need to focus on that."

"Whatever you need, baby girl. Just don't give up, okay? Take a break. Maybe take a bath. But don't give up. If you want to be with Sterling, then you need to keep your chin up and your wits about you. None of this so-called drama is between you two. It's Eric, and it's Fiona, and it's logistics, but only you know what you guys have. It's up to you to decide whether you're going to fight for it."

With those parting words, she let go of me and I nodded, sniffling some more. I trudged to my house and decided to take her advice about that bath. If it was up to me, I would've fought for us. I just didn't know if there was anything left worth fighting for.