Chapter 40

40

DAPHNE

D reaming about finally getting to walk through the festival with Sterling, I knew it wasn't real because he and I were holding hands and no one was even looking twice. Like it was something they were all used to seeing.

I could've sworn I heard my brother calling my name, but I was having too much fun with his best friend to look around and see where his voice was coming from. Sterling let go of my hand to snake his arm around my shoulders, laughing about something before pressing an affectionate kiss to my temple.

I leaned into him, smiling as I slid my free hand into his where it was hanging over my shoulder. Even though I knew it was just a dream, it felt so good to be able to be like this with him in public. I felt so free, so safe and secure, and as we looked around at all the lights strung up in the trees and fed each other pumpkin-spice treats from every sample tray we could find, I wondered if perhaps it wasn't just a dream.

It almost felt like heaven to me.

Eric's voice drifted into my consciousness again, and he seemed closer this time. As I frowned, I suddenly woke up.

Panting as I sat up in my bed, I blinked hard, the dream still clinging to the edges of my consciousness and my eyes still heavy with sleep. As my bedroom slowly came into focus though, the color drained from my cheeks and my heart started pounding.

Right . I'll just go back to that dream now. Thanks .

In the space of just a few seconds, I'd gone from blissful joy in it to living my worst nightmare—and the wrong scenario was the real one. Sterling stood next to my bed, half-dressed and calmly sliding his arms through the sleeves of his long-sleeved T-shirt, but I could see the tension radiating through him.

His muscles were taut, his jaw set as he faced off with someone. My gaze darted to my door, tracking the direction he was glaring in, and my stomach dropped. Right there, not ten feet away from me, was my brother.

Standing in the doorway, he was vibrating with rage, hands clenched in fists at his side as his nostrils flared and his eyes narrowed to the thinnest of slits. Every last vestige of my dream evaporated and I was suddenly wide awake—and on high alert.

At which point, I realized I was naked.

Thankfully, I'd brought the sheet with me when I'd sat up, so I wasn't flashing my brother a full-frontal view of myself, but I grabbed the pillow Sterling had slept on and hurled it at the door. "Get the fuck out! What is wrong with you? It's called privacy, Eric. I'm entitled to it. Get. Out."

My brother looked positively murderous, and the only sign that he'd even heard me was that his jaw ticked. He lifted his chin before taking a few steps back, his eyes locked on Sterling's as he made his retreat.

"We need to talk. Now."

Without even glancing my way, he spun on his heels and disappeared from my view. I groaned, hanging my head and dropping my face into my hands. This is bad. This is really, really bad.

As the reality of my situation dawned, tears stung the backs of my eyes and I tried to swallow them, but my throat was starting to hurt and my chest felt like it was being cracked right open. Last night, during Sterling's inquisition, he'd said that we had run into Peter at Maverick's. He'd also somehow known that I hadn't told Eric about what Peter had done to me.

The only logical conclusion was that Eric had been with Sterling when they'd beaten up my ex and that my brother had found out two new things about me in the last twenty-four hours, neither of which he was going to be happy about.

If it had been two small things, I wouldn't have been feeling like I was about to lose him, but these were two huge bombshells that would've shaken him to the core of his being. Finding out about Peter would've devastated him, making him blame himself for not protecting me from his former teammate and question why I hadn't trusted him enough to tell him.

By itself, that would've shaken our bond, tested it at a level we hadn't been tested at before. We would've passed that test—eventually. I was sure of it. A few deep, open, painful conversations later, he would've understood, and with time, he would've forgiven me for keeping the truth from him.

Coulda. Woulda. Shoulda.

The second bombshell, however, had the potential to break us. Eric finding me literally in bed with his best friend was the worst possible way in which he could've found out about us. If we'd told him, then maybe we could've gotten him onboard. It wouldn't have been easy and it wouldn't have happened overnight, but it would've been infinitely better than him finding out this way.

He was never going to forgive me for this, and on top of it sat the first bombshell, which now was also worse. I knew my brother well enough to know that he'd spent last night beating himself up over the fact that he hadn't been there for me—even if he had been. He would already have been confused about why I hadn't trusted him—even if it hadn't been about trust for me at all.

Walking in to find me in bed with Sterling had to have come as a massive blow when he'd already been questioning where he and I stood with each other. Our relationship was strong and we were closer than most, but I didn't know if that was still true and it killed me.

The mattress dipped beside me and Sterling slid an arm around my shoulders, pressing his forehead to my temple and murmuring close to my ear. "It'll be alright, Daph. I'm going to go talk to him, but I'll speak to you later, okay? Don't worry. I'll fix this."

Before I could even lift my head to tell him it wasn't fixable, he was gone. By the time I mustered enough strength to even look up, he was striding out of my bedroom with his head held high, but that tension still radiated from the rigid set of his shoulders.

Once he was gone, my chest caved in and another pained groan slid out of me. This was terrible. Awful.

And it was my fault.

Sterling had just gotten back to town and my brother finally had both his best friends back at his side. Jake and Sterling had made up, and while I knew Sterling was still going back to New York, I had a feeling he would keep in touch this time.

The tripod had finally been back on its legs—and then I knocked it right over. Smashed it to pieces.

I'd shattered my brother's trust not once but twice, and I'd irreparably damaged a bond of friendship he'd had and had cherished for most of his life. I swallowed hard, a burning coal lodged in my throat, and I tried to fight the tears that were threatening to overwhelm me.

As much as I was completely uncertain about where this left my situation with Sterling, I couldn't be selfish. If I'd kept my hands to myself and my fantasies in the past where they belonged, none of this would be happening.

This wasn't Sterling's mess to clean up. It was mine.

Moving so fast that I got the sheets wrapped around my legs and almost fell out of bed, I grabbed for the nearest clothes and hurriedly got dressed. I pulled on some socks while I ran, not bothering with the time it would take to put on shoes.

Grabbing a coat that was hanging over one of my dining-room chairs, I slid it on, raced to the door, and threw it open. I had to stop them. Whatever was happening between them, I couldn't let them fight it out by themselves.

Eric had to hear from me. Blame me .

Icy wind sliced through me as I stepped outside, immediately making my fingers sore and numb. It gathered my loose hair and whipped it out behind my head, but I ignored it all, chasing across the garden to the gate, but they were gone.

"Daphne? What's wrong? What's going on?" Mom asked from the back porch of the main house. "What just happened? Dad and I saw Eric and Sterling storming out of here like they were on fire."

I spun to face her, my eyes wide and my heart breaking as it hammered against my ribs. As I stared at her standing there in her robe, her fingers wrapped around a mug of coffee and her brow knitted in concern, I broke down, deciding that I would tell her everything.

"I messed up, Mom. I messed up so bad and Eric is going to hate me for it." As the words came out, the tears finally broke free and a sob caught in my throat.

My mom sighed, but then she smiled softly and motioned toward the door leading into their house. "Come on, baby. It's too cold out here. Let me make you something warm to drink and we'll talk. I don't know for sure what this is about, but I have a sneaking suspicion, and if I'm right, it's not really so bad at all. It's just going to take some time to work itself out."

I wished I could believe her, but as I folded my arms around myself and trudged into the house after her, I wasn't so sure. My chest was aching and my heart was heavy. Each breath I pulled in felt like it would be the one that would obliterate me.