Chapter 22

22

DAPHNE

W hile I was sure I wasn't sick, my heart hurt. When my parents had come by earlier to ask if I wanted to drive over to the school with them for the parade and the game, I'd turned them down. I just couldn't face seeing Sterling today—and I knew for a fact he would be there.

I didn't know if he'd rejected me last night or if he'd just felt too guilty to kiss me again, but the things he'd said had cut into me. Sliced into the core of my being.

Allisburg wasn't holding me back. I wasn't trapped here. I'd left for college and I'd made the choice to come back because I loved it here. I'd never intended on staying anywhere else. I loved our town. I loved its people. I loved our community and our way of life.

Suggesting anything different was absurd, and so was the insinuation that I was somehow trying to keep him here.

No one was more aware than me of the fact that Sterling North had left to seek out greener, greater pastures. No one knew better than me that he'd never belonged here. A guy like that?

He was never going to be happy with the small, simple life Allisburg had to offer. I'd made my peace with that as a freaking teenager.

Watching him and my brother from a distance, I'd always known that people like Sterling didn't stick around. Eric had been a toss-up. He was either going to leave and love life in a big city somewhere, or he was going to throw himself into life in Allisburg and love it.

It had come as something of a surprise when he'd chosen the latter, but in the end, I'd been right. My brother wasn't bitter or angry about the choices he'd made. He might have had an arrogant streak about a mile wide, but he'd never needed fame or fortune to stroke his ego.

He was happy here. He loved coaching and his garage. He loved his cabin and being a big fish in a little pond. Like me, Eric had chosen Allisburg and neither of us had ever regretted it.

Sterling had chosen Stanford and New York City. It hadn't surprised anyone when he'd left and it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't come back until their twenty-year reunion once he did it again. I was beyond hurt that he'd implied that I would ever try to hold him back. To keep him here, in a place he claimed to love but very obviously couldn't stand.

Blowing out a heavy breath, I finally got up off my couch. I hated sitting still, and with those ugly words constantly tearing up my insides, it was driving me nuts doing nothing but obsessing. Everyone in town was at the football game, but I still wasn't going there.

Instead, I headed out and climbed into my truck, deciding to go to the bakery. I wanted to see the damage for myself and start helping with the clean-up if I could, and besides, being there was strangely soothing to me.

This life—that bakery—was what I had chosen . It made me happy. It fulfilled me and I didn't need Sterling North judging me for it.

As I drove to the farm, I blinked back my tears and squared my shoulders. That kiss had really been something, but at the same time, it had been nothing.

Simply a release of adrenaline after we'd endured a traumatic experience together. Sterling and I weren't star-crossed lovers. We were just two people who happened to have grown up in the vicinity of one another and who had crashed together in a momentary lapse of sanity.

Parking outside the bakery, I did my best to ignore its connection and significance to him, and focused on what it meant to me instead. It had given me the freedom to spend more time with my parents. It had provided me with the opportunity to hone a craft I'd always had a passion for and, moreover, it allowed me to connect every day with the community I loved so much.

Lost in thought, I walked in, my heart breaking at the sight of the place. It was all torn up, with big fans running to dry the water soaking everything. We would never get the place running again if we let black mold take over.

"What are you doing?" a voice suddenly spoke up, startling me.

I jumped, spinning toward the source. Sterling's dad was sitting at one of the tables. I blinked hard, my hand flying up to press against my rapidly beating heart. "John. I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there."

I smiled at the older man, my heart giving a pang at the sight of him. He was old and grumpy, but I'd always liked him.

In his own gruff way, he was a good man. Every year, he poured his heart into the fall festival, always driving the tractor for the hayrides for the kids and making sure they had the best time ever.

"It's not safe to be in here with all the ash and soot clinging to the walls," I said gently. "Can I get you something? I might be able to coax a cup of coffee out of the machine if you'd like one to go?"

He shook his head, giving me a soft smile that eased some of the tension off of his features. "When I first married Andrea, she nearly burned down the house trying to bake cookies for the first time."

I frowned but returned his smile as I walked over to join him at his table. Clearly, he wasn't leaving, and if he wanted to tell me a story, the least I could do was listen. "Oh? I was always under the impression that she was born baking."

He chuckled. "Not quite. When we met, she could barely slice bread, let alone bake a loaf."

My eyes widened. "Really? I loved her bread. It's kind of hard to imagine a time when she was learning how to make it."

He shrugged, turning his dark eyes back to the window that looked out over the farm. Rolling greenery stretched up a gentle slope from here, the part of their property that edged on the main road, all the way up past where I could see right then, to where the pumpkin patch, the farmhouse, and the fields were.

"You know, I didn't want to be a farmer," he said as his gaze scanned the land he'd dedicated his life to. "My dad and my grandpa loved it, but I didn't feel the same way."

Surprise flashed through me, my eyes wider than they'd ever been as I stared at him. I'd known this man all my life. Thanks to his wife's friendship with my mom, they'd always been around, but I'd never even suspected that he hadn't wanted to be a farmer.

"Why did you do it?" I breathed, even my voice lost to the shock.

He shrugged. "Andrea. She was my reason for everything, including why I kept the farm."

His eyes took on a far-away shimmer. "She was so proud of my family and our legacy, and she knew this was where she would be happiest. Living on the land my family had been on for so long. Farming, despite how hard a life it is."

"Wow."

He nodded, sighing as he kept strolling down memory lane. "Do you know how the fall festival started?"

I frowned, wracking my memory but not coming up with anything. "No, I don't. I just kind of thought it'd always been a thing."

"Andrea's birthday was in the fall," he said softly. "When we were young, before we even got married, I used to throw her birthday parties here, on the farm. Eventually, those parties turned into a full town affair. She invited everybody and they came because they loved her."

The wheels turned in my head. "And that turned into the festival?"

He nodded. "She loved it, bringing the community together like that. When we realized we needed to keep the kids entertained as well, she was the one who came up with all the ideas that still live on, even to this day."

Tears burned the backs of my eyes as I listened to him talk about his late wife. "She was an incredible woman, John. I know my mom misses her tremendously, but now I understand why even better than I did before."

His own eyes misted over and he blinked hard, a gruff sob escaping him before he groaned. My heart shattered into millions of little pieces as I watched him, so completely helpless in the face of such raw grief.

I did the only thing I could think of, sliding my chair closer to his and putting my arms around his shoulders. I wasn't sure if he was crying, but I sure was. He was shaking, though. He lifted his arms and buried his head in the crook of my neck, his body trembling like a leaf.

How could Sterling have left him all alone after her death?

I'd never blamed the guy for leaving until this very moment. Even now, five years later, John was clearly still absolutely broken and Sterling had just left him. I couldn't wrap my head around it. No amount of money or success in the world would've dragged me away from one of my parents if our roles had been reversed. I knew people were different, but for the first time ever, anger at him simmered in my veins.

What an ass.

John and I sat like that for a long time before he finally patted my back and let go. Sitting up again, he turned back to the farm and sighed. "I'm just glad Sterling got out."

What? I blinked hard, frowning as I waited for him to continue. "He still thinks I'm disappointed that he didn't stay here, but I've never been so proud as I was that day I found out he got into that fancy college."

"You didn't want him to stay?"

John shook his head firmly, glancing at me. "Never. Farming is a tough life, girl. Our Sterling has a nice, cushy job in finance, living in one of the greatest cities in the world. I never wanted this for myself, but I definitely didn't want it for my son."

I stared at him, once again suspended in a state of complete shock for a few long minutes. Jeez, these North men really are complicated.

"Do you think he's happy there?" I asked quietly, sensing a deep discord between these two men. "It doesn't seem to me like he's very happy at all."

John sighed, grunting when he turned back to the farm. "That's not on me. He shouldn't have come back here. He got out. He should've stayed that way."

When he fell silent, I realized he was done talking and I got up, quietly saying goodbye before I left. It was obvious that I'd interrupted him and I didn't want to impose, so I climbed back into my truck and wondered if I should talk to Sterling about what I had just learned.

It was none of my business, but at the same time, I really wanted to help John—and Sterling, for that matter. They both seemed deeply unhappy to me, and there was clearly a massive rift between them. I doubted they would be able to bridge that divide by themselves. Certainly not while they were as far apart as they were right then. I just didn't know if it was my place to try to do it.