Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

It was the twitching that woke Cadel first. Now, Everest was mumbling in a language he'd never heard. That couldn't be a good sign. He reached out and gave Everest a shake. The prince flinched but didn't wake.

Cadel's heart gave a solid thump and sunk into his stomach.

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath. He ran his finger over Everest's top lip, and it came away sticky with blood.

He shook him harder and was rewarded with a slap to the shoulder and what sounded like a rebuke in the other language.

For a couple of seconds, he was frozen as he considered his options. He couldn't flirt with Everest if he wasn't awake. What else had grounded him?

Touch.

Cadel pulled him close, hooking his leg over Everest's so their bodies aligned. It was only then he realized what Everest was dreaming of as the hard length of his dick pressed against Cadel's thigh. He was tempted to let Everest keep dreaming. But since he couldn't wake him, it meant Everest was stuck in the past .

They should've discussed this in more detail and made better plans.

His hand smoothed over Everest's bare back and whispered. "Wake up."

He pinched Everest's arm and got punched in the chest for his efforts.

"Wake up," he growled, then he bit Everest's earlobe.

Everest snarled something in that other language and tried to shove him away.

Cadel pinned him to the bed, his knee between Everest's thighs. His breath caught as Everest moved against him…or whoever he was dreaming about…but his movements changed to be more like a fight than a fuck.

"You went through my memories without asking?" Everest reared back. Not sure if he knew the man he'd called his lover.

"I went through others while you investigated what you were interested in. There is so much in your mind. It's fascinating. You are fascinating." He sat up and tried to pull Everest back to bed.

Everest batted his hands away. "You had no right."

"Why are you being like this?"

"Because you looked through my past without me."

"So I can only share the memories you want me to see? I thought I was more than your pet witch."

"A pet witch wouldn't dare." He thought the witch loved him, but instead, all he wanted was to control him and use his memories for his own gain. What a fool he was. His heart ached for the loss that was to come.

His lover's lips curved into a sneer. "So you don't trust me. And you don't love me. "

"You're wrong because I did love you." He didn't know how he was going to stop loving him. "Why did you have to ruin it?"

"You think you're so much better than everyone because you live so many times."

"It is a burden. A duty to make things better. And you were part of that." Everest got off him and stepped off the bed.

"What do you mean, were?"

"I can't trust you." And he'd stolen magic that should be forgotten. He couldn't be allowed to live. Who else had he told?

His lover followed him across the floor. "Please."

Everest stopped.

His witch reached out and put his hand on Everest's arm. "All you value are your memories. So enjoy them all."

Everest dropped to his knees as every life he'd ever lived flooded his mind.

"Everest. Sir." This should be working. Why wasn't it? What else could he do?

Everest whimpered, and his skin was cool to the touch. And while Cadel didn't know what was going on in Everest's mind, he was running out of time.

He hadn't trained for magical emergencies. And that's what this was.

"Fuck it." He pressed his lips to Everest's, tasting blood. "Come back to me, Everest."

Everest sighed and stilled, and for one long and horrible second, Cadel thought the prince was dead. Then Everest's heart gave a reassuring beat, and his breath ghosted over Cadel's lips.

Cadel wasn't sure if he'd made things better or worse.

At least the prince was breathing…but there was no one he co uld call for help because he didn't have a phone unless he admitted to the Shadow Board that Everest remembered everything, and that would be a disaster. If they had a healer or a mind reader examine him, they'd figure out the problem far too fast.

He had no way of contacting Jacob, or knowing how close he was.

He muttered a curse, about to throw himself out of bed to ask the Board for help.

Everest gasped and opened his eyes. "Why did you stop?"

Cadel stared down at him. Everest's eyes were dark pools that would be far too easy to drown in. "Because you were unconscious?"

Or near enough to it.

"I wasn't. I just wasn't here." Everest's fingers wrapped around Cadel's biceps as he tilted his chin seeking Cadel's lips.

Cadel moved his head back, denying the kiss. "Where were you?"

"I…" His eyes rolled back.

"Hey." He gave the bed a bounce. "Stay here."

Everest's eyes refocused on him. "I'm trying."

"You are. Very." He was on edge in far too many ways because of the prince.

Everest smirked, but his grip on Cadel's arms remained tight. His fingers digging in as though if he let go, he'd slip back into the memory.

"What's my name?" Did he know where he was…when he was? Who he was? Because he didn't want to be kissing a man who didn't know what was going on.

"Cadel Matthew McKeon, you're my bodyguard, and you're doing an excellent job of guarding my body." Everest rolled his hips.

The contact was enough to make Cadel pull back only to find he couldn't because Everest had hooked his leg over his hip, and even though he seemed as slight as any bird shifter, he was as strong as Cadel.

"This is getting weird." A few seconds ago, Everest had been stuck in a memory, with blood on his face, and now, he was hard up against Cadel like they'd been making out all night.

"It's only weird if you make it weird." Something flickered over Everest's face, a scent to his skin that lurked beneath the arousal.

It wasn't something he'd ever smelled on Everest, and it took him a couple of seconds to process.

Fear.

"Do you want to talk about what you…dreamed?" Their lips were still too close for this to be safe. And with the length of Everest's cock pressed again him, his dick woke up and joined in. Which meant Everest was aware that his feelings on the matter were not professional or neutral.

He couldn't imagine anyone being this close to Everest and wanting to do anything but take their pants off and keep going.

Everest closed his eyes and drew in a breath.

Cadel nudged Everest's nose with his. "You with me?"

"Yes. I can't talk about it without sinking, and I can't do that tonight." He eased his grip so his nails were no longer digging in. "Keep me here."

"How? It took everything to wake you."

Would Everest sink every time he fell asleep? He wouldn't live long if he didn't sleep. It wasn't weeks…he had days.

"Not everything." He moved against Cadel as if nothing were wrong.

And Cadel didn't want to like the way Everest's body pressed to his. "Surely you're not asking me to…"

He couldn't even say it .

"I'm telling you. No, ordering you to do whatever it takes to keep me in the present." His fingers flexed against Cadel's biceps.

"There are some lines I won't cross." He didn't want to hurt Everest, even though he was a shifter and would immediately heal after shifting.

"I don't care. You'd rather I die?"

"No, of course not."

Everest lifted his eyebrows.

Cadel shook his head. "You don't know what you're asking."

"Trust me, I do. And I do not expect it to be pleasant. I'd be more worried if you were going to enjoy it."

And there Cadel was with an erection like steel, pressing Everest into the mattress with his body weight.

"I'm sorry." He tried to pull away, but Everest's leg kept him in place.

"You either regret getting on top, wanting to pull my pants off or?—"

"Drop the game, just for tonight." Cadel couldn't keep up, and he didn't know what he was doing or what the right thing to do was.

Let the prince use him for sex, to stay in the present?

He wanted to find out what sex was like with a man, and they had already kissed. Then who was using who, or was it fair somehow?

Everest stared up at him. "I don't remember how. When I say it's been too long…" His teeth raked over his lip, and he turned away, his eyes glassy. "I don't know what's real. Everything is fracturing, and at dinner, the memories started to overlay. There were other voices and other faces."

"How can you be sure I'm real? That you want me."

"I can feel you. And smell your desire, and maybe that sounds stupid, but it is very grounding. I concentrated on your scent during dinner."

"You should have said?—"

"I don't want your pity. Do not give me that." Everest placed his hands on Cadel's face. "Is this moment of attraction not enough?"

How was he supposed to answer that when the moment shouldn't even exist? "I don't know, is it?"

"Ah…you still want it to have meaning."

"Because I'm going to have to live with the memory."

"Right now, you are the most important man in my life. You are my lifeline. My confidante. My partner. My opposition. And literally the last man I will sleep with." He pressed a kiss to Cadel's lips.

"That doesn't mean you like me."

"No, it doesn't. But I do. I like the way you challenge me. I have fired people for less. I want to…" He murmured something in another language and sighed. "I wish it were as easy to unlock my heart as it was my mind."

"You don't trust me."

Everest froze. "Aside from my brothers, I don't trust anyone."

Cadel closed his eyes because, in that moment, all he had was pity. Everest had existed without love or trust, not only in this life but in others. He wanted to change that for him, and maybe Olier was the key, as they had once been lovers.

Then Cadel would be swept aside, returned to the background as bodyguard and nothing more. That's where he belonged. Not swept up in the allure and wealth and dazzled by the prince's smile.

He was no different from all the others who'd come before him.

Everest traced Cadel's lip. "But I trust you more than most."

"Because there is no one else."

"True, but I am glad it is you who is with me because you aren't here to win favor. You aren't in it for politics or power. I am not a hole in a punch card the way I was for some." Everest smiled. "I know they boasted about fucking me."

"Then why?"

"Why not? Power. Control. Sex and a way to stay here. Now unless you object, I'm going to liberate your cock and mine and spend a few blissful minutes very much grounded in the present."

"Um…"

Everest rolled, and then they were on their sides. "That wasn't a no."

His hand slid over Cadel's ribs, down his side, and brushed the waistband of his pajama pants. He had all the time in the world to stop him.

Cadel's dick twitched, eager for the touch. "This is messed up."

"Yes. But I'd rather you remember me fondly than with regret."

Cadel knew what he'd regret more. He leaned in and kissed him, claiming his lips, teasing them open until Everest's tongue lured him deeper. He cupped Everest's ass and dragged him closer with no plan about what he was going to do next.