Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

"I shouldn't have done that." Everest didn't know what he'd been thinking. He never made the first move and always let them come to him. His mind was unraveling, and his life along with it, and he didn't like it. He preferred a surprise ending.

He preferred living before dying, and this wasn't the first time he had died young. There'd been several times where he died before he even shifted.

War, famine, disease.

They claimed the lives of paranormals as easily as they claimed human lives. And while adult shifters could heal from injuries and fight off sickness when they switched between forms, shifter children were as vulnerable as human children.

And even though he set up this life, it didn't seem quite fair that he didn't get to live it. Eighteen years growing up and going to school—the last two of them, he'd explored the memories and put the last pieces into place. There was a small part of him that wished he'd delayed accessing the past.

But if he'd missed the window of opportunity, it would've all been for nothing. That he had created the window in the first place was a different matter.

All he'd done this life was work through things he'd been unable to complete. And while he reminded himself this was for his own benefit and everyone else's, he doubted anyone would thank him. He was also quite impressed with what he'd achieved and how he'd set everything up, even though his present self couldn't take any of the credit.

"I would've stopped you," Cadel murmured, his hand on Everest's hip and the other on his face as if he gave a damn. The temptation to lean in and kiss him again rose hot and hungry in his blood, but there was something in Cadel's eyes that stopped him.

It wasn't only heat or lust. There was concern and something else in the tawny depths.

"Would you?" The noise of the water almost drowned out his words.

"If I didn't want it, yes. And for the record, it was very different."

That had been a small lie on his part. Of course, it was different. No two kisses, no two people, were the same, and he should know because he had thousands to compare to.

Even if he only counted the people in this life, he suspected it was rather too many than some people would approve of. He didn't care; he needed to cram a lifetime into a few too-short years.

"You're firmly grounded in the present now," Cadel said, seeking confirmation.

That was one way of putting it. He was certainly firm, and it wouldn't take much—a look or a touch—for Cadel to notice. He'd probably already noticed; no doubt the lion had smelled the lust on his skin. "Yes. You should do your check-in and request some back-up. Maybe we can pin them down…" Before he was captured.

Cadel nodded. "And you should rest."

Everest closed his eyes. "What is rest? My sleep is not restful."

"I've noticed, but you can't push yourself."

"It's a bit late for that." He'd left warnings for himself. He'd known what he was doing. And it felt good to take action to heal the wound, to have the knowledge that it would be over. But the promise of a future was a cold companion in bed. And the men he used were not much warmer. They didn't care about him, and he didn't care about them…which is what he wanted.

The last thing he needed was another bloody soul bruise.

That didn't stop him from wondering if he had crossed paths with Cadel before. That was the other big difference between humans and paranormals; humans didn't live again. They were safe because he had no connection to them from the past, and there would be none in the future. That Kaine had started hiring shifter bodyguards had been an annoyance.

"You just shifted. Have something to eat."

Everest snorted and looked away. "Is food the first thing you want after shifting?"

Cadel smiled, and a knowing warmth filled his eyes. "No, but it's the only thing on offer."

"Ah, you tease me with a kiss…"

"You kissed me. I was making sure you're okay."

Which explained why his hand was still on Everest's hip and they were having this conversation in the shower while he was naked but Cadel was fully dressed.

"Realizing I don't have the six months I expected, gave me a moment." A self-indulgent cry and a weakness he shouldn't have allowed himself. "You could've left me to have some privacy."

"I don't think that's what you need."

The last person to hold him when he cried was Gerrit, and he'd been a child. Possibly when he'd been sent away to boarding school at twelve. He hadn't wanted to leave.

"You're right. Your touch keeps me in the present." He pasted on a smile and gave his words the right amount of heat and carelessness.

"Then I guess I'll have to keep touching you."

And there it was, the response Everest expected. It didn't feel like a win, even though it was. Cadel's gaze flicked lower for half a second, and his cheeks darkened. Was he embarrassed to be caught looking or because he was interested?

Then Cadel leaned in and took another kiss, his mouth brushing over Everest's lips without landing.

That was unexpected.

Everest rocked forward, trying to maintain contact, but Cadel released him and stepped out of the shower. He stripped out of his wet clothes and draped them over the edge of the bath.

He groaned and pulled the damp towel around himself. "Are you trying to torture me?"

"I'm trying not to make a mess." Cadel grabbed another towel and wrapped it around himself. "I'd be more comfortable if you were out of the shower and in bed."

Cadel was more worried about him cracking his head than getting into bed with him. He worried about him, and not only because Everest was his meal ticket.

Everest turned off the shower. "Don't you dare start to care about me. I do not need another soul bruise."

"Wouldn't dream of it, sir. "

"Well, you're almost naked, but you're not on your knees." And if he kept their conversations to sex, he was able to remain in the present, and Cadel would grow sick of his teasing. And him.

Cadel shrugged and stepped back. "Complete the mission, then I'll consider it, sir."

Everest opened his mouth but didn't know what to say. Cadel was playing him. How dare he. How interesting…

"Fine. We return home with Olier, and I want your lips around my dick." He didn't care if it was the last memory he made in this life.

"Just so we're clear, I'm only doing that if you're conscious."

"Agreed." Everest frowned. "You're going to make a dying man go without sex?"

"You've had plenty. Have you had any that mattered?"

"No." He watched Cadel walk out of the bathroom. Did Cadel think that he should matter? Sex might matter to Cadel, but it didn't mean anything to him.

He didn't want to remember the last time someone so blatantly resisted him, especially after kissing him. He fisted his hand, letting his fingernails bite into his palm so that he didn't go searching through memories.

Finish the job and get a blow job before dying—which would be terrible because Cadel had never sucked another man's dick.

No matter how much he tried to rationalize that there was nothing between them and that Cadel meant nothing, a small bruise was forming. A connection that ensured their paths would cross again.

Damn it.