43. SAVIN

SAVIN

I stare at the small box in my trembling hands, rereading the directions several times as Macon explains the side effects and what I’ll no longer be allowed to do on the Ometreotide. What it will take away from me. But there’s only one thing I can hear from his lips. No pain. To live a day without any pain? That’s what this is promising me? I try to listen. I truly do but if Bailey believes this could help, I’m not just going to sit here.

Especially not after this last wave of pain.

Even if I have to be careful not to over-exert myself for the rest of my life, not having to brace myself for the worst is something I can live with. And fuck, I want to be mentally and physically here when the babies come. I don’t want to be an absent father because of my health. Tears gather in my eyes as the room grows silent, Ellie shifting closer until I’m sandwiched between my mates.

“This is your decision, baby,” Macon whispers against my head. “This isn’t about what I want. I want you happy and healthy. If I can have both, I want that but this may not work and I don’t want to get your hopes up.”

“Ellie, my angel, I-”

She shushes me from the other side, planting a kiss on my shoulder. Their body heat is uncomfortable but I need their presence more than I need relief. “Your Alpha is right. This choice is yours. It’s your body and whether we find an alternative or weather through this, I will be right here. We all will be.”

There’s not much of a choice left. If it doesn’t work, Bailey will keep searching. I know her. But if it does… even marginally? Especially now with everything going on, I need the relief. I crave a good day.

“One more time, Alpha. Tell me one more time how it works.”

“An injection every 3 days. In the evening. After food. You’ll still be a little jittery but it should dull the pain, working to rebuild some of the defective genes and hormones that seem to be causing you the most trouble. Water and a strict regimen of meals are needed to maintain the positive effects and over-exerting yourself could reverse any good that this drug does. Savin, look at me for a moment. I know that you cherish your work and that you do it well but if you’re on this, there will be no 110%. When you’re done, you’re done. Doing otherwise could be detrimental to the quality of your remaining years.”

It’ll be hard, not being able to prove myself in a business that only prides itself in my image and not me, an Omega. Still, I’m not entirely seeing a downside. “I’ll need your help but I can do this.”

“And because this is a pain inhibitor or it will work as one, your heat will be…” Macon trails off but I don’t need him to explain what’s going to happen if the drug works. Before my health declined, I was insatiable during my heat. Conscious but insatiable. I remember many heats that I would wake to find Macon grabbing us food only for me to flatten him out in the kitchen and take what I needed.

I’m pretty sure I’ve been knotted at least once in every location in this house. The toys made my heats more fun, slowly spilling into our regular sex life until I couldn’t so much as handle anything more than his knot before the pain returned or I’d pass out. If this drug gives me back all those moments, I can’t fucking wait.

And if it doesn’t…

I decide not to think about that as I hand the box to Macon. “Please.” I’ll have to learn eventually but my unsteady hands will have me jabbing one of my mates instead of me. It’ll be just my luck. Leaning back against the edge of the nest, I tilt my head to the side, giving Macon access to my gland. The rustle of cardboard and plastic meets my ears as Ellie steals my attention with a sweet kiss. I let her direct the embrace, Macon using the distraction to remove the patch and press a wet cloth to my neck to clean the skin before inserting the syringe into my neck. It’s no different than a billion other things we’ve tried but the ramifications of this drug are so much heavier.

We sit there for several minutes until a strange cold sensation spills down my chest. It’s like liquid raining inside of me, filling my veins, continuing its descent until I can feel it in my toes. A sudden breath falls from my lips as pure relief spreads through me. The overwhelming heat coursing through me settles, replaced by a stillness I haven’t known in years.

“Savin?” Ellie asks. “How are you feeling, baby?” Her voice wobbles as she kisses my cheeks and forehead, trying to draw a reaction from me. There is none to give. I can’t move. Not because I don’t want to but because I almost feel drunk on the sensation of relief. There is no pain. No nothing. Just peace.

My head is twisted to meet Macon’s eyes and I stare at the deep brown of his irises, wavering with indecision. “Baby,” he mutters before bending down to kiss me. I can’t reciprocate but I don’t need to. He can feel it through the bond. I’m not in the same kind of pain I was before. It takes me a few moments longer before I can move again and start kissing Macon back with the fervor I have been missing most of our relationship.

Ellie is there kissing my shoulders and my neck, her happy tears coating my skin. My mates hold me as I enjoy the absence of pain. However long it lasts, I want to enjoy it. We can discuss our future in a minute.

There’s just one fucking thing I need before that.

“Can we turn the heat on? Goddess, it’s fucking cold in here.”

Macon starts laughing, Ellie joining in until it feels like a completely different nest.