7 Austin

Austin

Agent Priestley didn’t seem impressed by the vehicle I’d found and brought back.

He hadn’t had a chance to assess it when I’d picked him up since it was more of a roll-by-and-yell-at-him-to-hop-in type of situation, but now that we were flying down a back highway, the adrenaline had worn off enough for him to take in our surroundings.

Surroundings which consisted of a cab full of… well, red, white, and blue. As in, someone who took American pride to the top level and didn’t dare to hide it.

Oddly, I felt at home in this mid-nineties pickup truck with its angry bald eagle decal across the back window and the set of silver nuts hanging off the hitch in the back that put mine to shame— yeah, I noticed those before anything else. Or rather, it reminded me of home. As in, where I grew up. You’d see this shit everywhere you turned. Along with that sweet, sweet flag with the huge lone star.

I wasn’t just named after a city in Texas, I was born and bred in that shit. Hated it too, even more once I got out of there.

“This is…” he said, voice trailing off as if he were in awe and didn’t know how to explain it. If awe meant he was horrified, that was.

I nodded as I turned up the radio, which happened to be playing country music. Now, listen, I grew up with this shit. I’d sing my little heart out along with some guy who was severely down on his luck or some woman seeking revenge for being scorned. That shit was great. But now, it just reminded me of… well, growing up. I’d done my best to avoid all things Florida Georgia Line, Tim McGraw, and Carrie Underwood for the last ten years.

“Amazing?” I shot him a smirk so he would know I wasn’t being serious, but the way he got that constipated crease in the middle of his brow made me think he was taking me seriously.

“I was going to say terrifying,” he said, shrinking into the camo print covered seat.

“You should have seen the big ole Confederate flag hanging off the back when I picked it up.” Yeah, I ripped that bitch down real quickly.

“Thank God I missed that,” he muttered under his breath. “Given that you work for Reed… I figured riding around in something like this might bother you. It sure as hell makes me feel uncomfortable.”

Confused, I turned my head and studied him with a raised brow.

“It’s just that, um, typically…” He paused and nervously bit the side of his lip, seeming lost at what to say. Or maybe he was thinking of how he could walk back what he’d said, which only confused me more. I could admit that his stumbling amused me. This was the first time I’d really seen him outwardly rattled. “You know what, never mind.”

He turned his attention out the window, but I could see the way his hand twitched nervously in his lap.

Oh, I couldn’t let this go. One, I liked ruffling his feathers too much. And two, I still wasn’t sure what he was going on about.

“Is there something about Reed and his team that I should be aware of?” I asked, leaving the smug tone tucked away because I was honestly lost.

“Where are we going?” he asked. I wasn’t falling for it.

“Seriously?” I shot back, cutting him the side-eye.

“Look, it was wrong of me to assume,” he said, and the sincerity was clear in his voice. “I apologize. But… you have to admit that Reed tends to bring mostly LGBTQIA+ people on. Heavy emphasis on the G and B.”

I was a little stunned.

It took me way too long for it to hit me.

He was completely right.

Only I wasn’t…

I wasn’t…

“Oh, no! I’m definitely not,” I said, brow furrowed as I held my gaze steady ahead, the road almost hard to focus on with my mind spinning in circles.

I mean, he was completely right about this truck being very… well, all I could say was that with the grand array of stickers and blatant political stance, I wouldn’t be surprised if the owner was anti-LGBTQIA+. It felt very God-fearing and loud. All that shit that I knew too well and had spent the last ten years running from. Which was why I’d picked it when I saw it. A lot of my co-workers were part of the community, and I would always respect and support them. So, basically, lifting this ugly thing was more of a fuck you to those who liked to hold people back and look down on them for how they were born.

But now, with the comment the agent just made and knowing most— if not all, excluding me— of the people Reed pulled into his little family were out and proud in at least one of the magical letter ways, I couldn’t help but wonder if Reed saw things that other people didn’t see. Like within themselves.

That would be ridiculous. I hadn’t let myself be interested or even look at anyone in ten years, and before then, well, truth be told, I’d only ever dated one person. Had one girlfriend, to be exact. I had loved Tessa when we were together. I think there were parts of me that would always love her.

It had to just be a coincidence, right?

“Forget I said anything,” he told me, and his voice seemed distant, almost like it was a whisper echoing around the cab in an attempt to crash through my thoughts. “Austin?”

I felt his hand on my arm. His grip was firm but not threatening.

“Yeah?” I said, blinking rapidly as I pulled the spiraling thoughts back and shoved them away. He told me to forget he said anything, so that was what I was going to do. “We’re headed to Nebraska. You can get some sleep if you want. We’re looking at a fifteen-hour drive plus stops.”

“What’s in Nebraska?” Why did it seem like there was hesitation when he asked the question?

“Just this practically abandoned property I know about,” I answered, a smirk on my face that I had to force from deep within.

He didn’t say anything else, but I could feel his curious eyes on me.

It made me twitchy. I felt him attempting to pry back my layers with his eyes and get to the meat of me.

“What’s in Nebraska?” he asked again, but there was something in his deep voice and his calm tone that had my spine snapping straight.

It was more than asking about the destination we were heading to. More than what my connection was to it.

No, it was like he was using his will alone to draw out all of my memories and feelings about the place we were headed.

“Off limits,” I nearly growled. I might have surprised myself. It was like I couldn’t lie to him. Something physically pinched inside me, almost warning me that I didn’t want to lie this time. Yet, I couldn’t tell him the truth, because it would have led to more questions, more things I didn’t want to think about.

Besides, he’d figure it out soon enough since it wasn’t like I had time to run through and scrub the place of anything connected to me.

His non-replay was almost as stressful as if he had pushed harder. I couldn’t explain it.

We drove in silence for a while. The twangy guitar started to grate on my nerves, and I searched for a station that played something heavier. Classic rock was about as good as it got on the highway in this neck of the woods.

Agent Priestley was restless. He didn’t even try to sleep, and his constant shifting around in the seat and tapping his finger on his leg started to get to me. I tried to bite back my aggravation, but it was bubbling to the surface.

No. I couldn’t let it out. I wouldn’t.

I just had to inhale deeply and smile on the exhale.

And so I did.

But it didn’t make me feel any better.

Things were eating away at me. I hated when that happened.

I didn’t want to talk to the agent, but the music wasn’t enough to keep me distracted. And on top of it, his fidgeting was getting to me, poking at me like a tag in the back of a shirt that needed to be cut out.

Not that I wanted to cut Agent Priestley.

He wasn’t all that bad. He hadn’t done anything to piss me off. He listened to directions. He let me take charge for the most part.

I still wasn’t sure about being this close to him, though. Still didn’t want this job or favor or whatever to go on for longer than it needed to.

I was even more twitchy because I felt like we were out of options. I didn’t want to take him to Nebraska. I didn’t want to open up any part of myself to him.

Suddenly, it occurred to me that I’d been so hung up on what he was trying to say about me in that statement, that I didn’t realize what he was saying about himself.

“Wait, when you said this truck makes you feel uncomfortable, were you…” I stopped talking. Was it rude to outright ask someone if they were gay? Queer? Bisexual? Or… what?

“Gay?” he shot back, eyes pointedly not looking at me.

“I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my business.”

“I am,” he said. His voice was deep and his tone held an edge to it that I didn’t understand. “I’m not ashamed of it and if you have a problem with it, all I ask is that you keep it to yourself.”

“Why would I…” My mouth opened and closed. I looked at him with blinking eyes for a few seconds before turning my attention back to the road.

“It’s just the way you reacted—”

“It wasn’t that,” I rushed to say. I didn’t know why, but it was really important that he understood that. “It just… no one has ever…” I huffed out a breath as my cheeks heated from embarrassment. Why couldn’t I get my words out?

“Okay,” he said, and there was a softness in his tone that made me relax. Maybe I couldn’t say the words, but he seemed to understand me.

I cleared my throat. It was time to quickly change the subject.

“What was your plan?” I asked, only now realizing that I didn’t have a clue where he was headed or how he’d ended up in that shed with no transportation.

He cleared his throat, then said, “I didn’t have one.”

“Really?” I said with shock in my tone. The agent seemed like the kind of guy who not only had a plan, but also had a backup to that plan should shit go wrong. Probably a backup to the backup. But nope, he was just out there running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

I felt his eyes on me, sharp and cutting, giving me this urge to swallow the thickness that had filled up my throat.

“Did you think I would have stayed tucked away in a rotting shed for half a day if I’d had a plan?” he asked, his tone bordering on the bitter side, but just enough to make me smirk.

“I don’t know,” I said with a loose shrug and a goofy smile, “maybe you had grand plans to fix the place up and live there. Some new slats and a fresh coat of pain and the place would have looked as good as new.”

Silence struck the cab for a good long minute. The music in the background seemed to fade away as his stare bore into me.

Then a snort echoed from his side of the cab, startling me to the point that I had to turn and look at him. His face looked a lot younger when he smiled, though it wasn’t big. There weren’t any teeth showing, and the lines around the corners of his mouth weren’t that deep.

His deep brown eyes locked with mine for a booming pound of my heart.

“Sorry,” he said, ripping his gaze from mine to stare out of the windshield. “I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just the thought is sadly a better idea than the nonexistent plan I was running with.”

I snapped my attention back to the road. Strange thoughts ran through my mind, but I didn’t know what they meant.

“So you never… planned for something like this?” My question might have been a test. And I didn’t doubt that he knew it too.

“No,” he said with a huffed-out laugh that sounded slightly bitter. “I mean, I had a go bag ready. Had money set aside. My money, that I’d earned.”

“I didn’t say anything,” I slipped in there.

“Yeah, but I can feel you questioning everything about me.”

“Maybe you’re just being paranoid,” I shot back instead of coming up with some bullshit denial that we both would know was a lie.

He sighed and shook his head like he was disappointed.

“I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come and rescued me,” he said softly.

“Reed sent me. So he’s really the hero here,” I said back.

“Still, I appreciate everything you’ve done.”

There was a beat of silence that slipped by. I didn’t like the way he was being nice to me. My skin was starting to crawl. I felt the need to say something… but what the fuck was I supposed to say to that?

“Thank you,” he said softly, genuinely, before I could get anything out.

And like the well-adjusted, smooth person that I was, I responded with a grunt.