19 Ford

Ford

I was having trouble finding sleep, but this time, it wasn’t the fact that my life was falling apart that was keeping me up.

Austin.

Fucking Illusive Austin.

Never imagined he’d be so…

Fuck, I didn’t even know.

The one thing I could say for sure was that he was nothing like what I thought he’d be.

He was so closed off, and somehow so open once I finally broke through those barriers. I hoped it wasn’t temporary. I need to know more. I craved to have every piece of him.

The night had been a roller coaster. From kissing Austin to him breaking down to eating dinner together while we talked about what kind of date we’d have. I might not have been a country man, but the idea of spending the night in the back of a truck with him wasn’t all that unappealing. I’d probably do just about anything to make him happy. But things turned serious again and he’d broken down as he released another wave of anger and hurt he’d been holding in for years. I’d held him through it, wishing there was more I could do.

He fell asleep in my arms on the couch, and I let him rest until the tingles in my arm became painful. I practically carried him up the stairs after that.

He’d gone to bed emotionally wrung out but lighter. I tucked him in, and left him alone in that big inviting bed because I didn’t want to push, even if I was reluctant to let him go. I figured he needed some time to really sit with everything that had happened tonight.

Which was part of the reason sleep was evading me. I was nervous about what would happen come morning. He could wake up full of regrets and hate me more than he did before.

Honestly, my head was spinning a little with the whiplash that had happened over the last few hours.

With an unhappy grunt, I sat up and flicked on the bedside light.

It was clear I wasn’t going to get any sleep. I might as well go downstairs and make some coffee, maybe even see if I could find a snack.

I sat up, swung my legs off the bed and instantly stuffed my feet into those damn lined slippers Austin had given me to use.

I didn’t dare ask why he had them or why they seemed as if they were new. Though, I did wonder why he had such a nice pair of slippers sitting around like some sort of emergency gift. They had thick soles, the kind that could handle going outside— as long it as there wasn’t snow covering the ground. I was going to enjoy them while I had them. The little things, as Austin had once pointed out.

As quietly as possible, I made my way down to the kitchen. The house was eerily still, which should have felt like home, but it just made me feel lonely.

I started the coffee pot. If we were going to keep going like this, we’d have to get more coffee soon. I should have warned Austin about my habit when it came to the stuff.

I was blindly watching the maker drip black into black when I heard movement coming from the other part of the house. I slowly spun around, ears tuned in, listening as the sound grew closer. I forced myself to take a relaxed stance against the counter, leaning my butt against it and crossing my arms over my chest.

Yep, I totally looked natural.

The kitchen door swung open and there Austin stood like he was afraid to walk any closer.

Even from across the room, I could tell his eyes were red and bloodshot. Matching mine, I imagined.

His hair was a mess, sticking up in adorable tufts that made my lips curl up at the corners. The t-shirt he wore hugged his body, showing the distinct lines of his abs, and his boxers were… well, the only thing covering his bottom half.

Looking at him made my mouth go dry. My heart sped up. I hadn’t felt like this in a long time. A very long time.

I was too damn old to be thrown back to my awkward teenage self with his first crush on a boy he knew he’d never have.

Was this why I was scared? Why part of me was hesitant? Why I was waiting for the moment he cut me off?

Did I not think I was good enough for him? Was I too old? Too jaded by the things I’d seen?

Even a man like me had insecure thoughts. It was hard not to let them get to me, and to be honest, some of those things were legitimate reasons to take a step back.

His gaze cut through the room, holding me captive.

Oh, God. That smile. Lazy, curling up higher on one side. Incredibly sexy. And the thing was, I didn’t even think he was trying to be sexy. He just was. So beautiful and hot and tempting.

Yeah, no fucking clue why he found me attractive. I was having a hard time grasping that fact. He wanted me, and he hadn’t wanted anyone in a long time, as he told me.

My mind was screaming slow, slow, slow.

But with every prowling step Austin took closer to me, all I wanted to do was go full speed ahead with his direction.

“Fancy meeting you here,” he said, the smile on his face spreading until I saw a hint of teeth.

I huffed out a laugh that was part shaky with nerves and part amusement. There also might have been a dash of relief in there.

Did he know how much I was shaking inside?

“Is that supposed to be a pick-up line?” I teased back, letting my arms fall to my sides, where I fisted my hands to keep from reaching for him.

“I’ve never actually used one. How was it?” He stepped into my space, his legs on the outside of mine.

“I think you could do better,” I said. My chest heaved. My gaze refused to look away from his. My heart thundered like a galloping horse. I felt both light and heavy. Like this flirting moment was weighted down with the things we weren’t saying.

I want you.

I like you.

I think you are everything I’ve been missing in my life.

Even I cringed at those thoughts.

Too much. Too soon.

Too intense.

“Do you really want me to?” He cocked a brow. “Or would you rather kiss me? That is what you’ve tossing and turning over in that room across from mine for hours, isn’t it?”

My lips twitched with a smile. I hadn’t realized I’d been attempting to chase sleep so loudly.

This would have been the perfect moment to put on the breaks. To tell him I was desperate to kiss him, but more than anything, I had to be sure that he wanted this thing between us, and it wasn’t that he was diving in simply because he’d suddenly been opened in a way he hadn’t been before or refused to let himself be. I wasn’t sure. Either way, it was a lot at once.

But despite all the things I should have done, the one thing I did was the exact opposite of listening to the adult side of my brain.

My hands went to his hips, dragging him closer until his body was lined up with mine. His hands went to my shoulders, instantly sliding around to the back of my neck as a sly smile spread on his face.

“That’s what I thought,” he said with all the bravado and cockiness of a fuck boy.

It did things to me that I couldn’t explain.

There was a sweet innocence lighting up his face, showing how free and right he finally felt here in my arms, a mere inch from kissing me. Then there was the hunger in his eyes that said he was sure he wanted everything. It was sexual whiplash, but it was so amazing.

He pressed into me, giving me his weight as his lips took mine.

Kissing Austin was… a breathtaking surprise.

That was what it was every time. Austin himself was just breathtaking, but the way he wanted me…

Was it possible that I’d waited my whole life to be craved by someone like this? To crave them back just as much?

Because if I read the look in his eyes right, it said nothing else existed outside of this moment, outside of me. It said there wasn’t another human on the planet that made him feel like this. It said he felt too deeply to deny or question it.

“I need you to touch me,” he rasped against my mouth. “Please, Ford. I’m dying here.”

That was it. The last shred of my self-restraint shattered, and there wasn’t a glue in the whole world strong enough to put it back together.

My hands slid down his back, running over the soft, worn cotton of his boxers. I cupped his ass, dragging his body into mine until there wasn’t a whisper of air between us.

“Shit,” he hissed, pupils blown wide as he held my gaze. “Smack it.”

To say I was shocked at the demand that came out of his mouth would have been an understatement.

I was so shocked I had to replay his words in my head just to make sure I’d heard him right.

“Make it good, Agent,” he growled when I didn’t move fast enough.

I had never, I mean ever, been interested in a role-play scenario where I was… me, but on duty. Nope. Wasn’t my thing. I took the badge seriously, and honestly, it never even crossed my mind to use my title like that.

Now the dirty thoughts were there just from his deep voice ringing “Agent” in my head on repeat.

My arm swung out, and before he could breathe in his next breath, my palm connected with his tight ass cheek.

His teeth sunk down in his bottom lip, and I swear to God, his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

“Again,” he nearly growled with pleasure.

And so I popped his ass without hesitation. There was no way in hell I’d deny him.

“Fuck,” he hissed out, his body sagging into mine, his hard cock pressing against my hip. “I’m going to explode if you do it again.”

I raised a brow. There was no way he could have meant that.

As much as I wanted to see it happen, I wanted something else more.

Grabbing onto his hips, I spun us around, pressing him against the counter.

“Can I?” I asked as I hooked my fingers in the top of his boxers.

“Fuck, yes, please. Take them off. Touch me. Fuckin’ put me in your mouth. Do whatever you want to me.” He was practically yelling in desperation.

Slowly, because I had the need to drag this out for him as much as for myself, I pushed his boxers down until they were pooled around his ankles. He hurried to kick them away. My hands ghosted up his muscled thighs, feeling the soft light hair that covered them. I let his shirt collect around my wrists once I reached his hips. My hands continued up, feeling the smooth skin of his sides.

My mouth watered the moment his cock was visible. It was maybe an inch longer than my fist, but it was thick. I didn’t see myself getting my whole hand around it. Another perfect surprise. The head was shiny and nearly purple. A line of pre-cum had started to run down the underside, and I didn’t hesitate to drag the pad of my thumb up his cock, collecting the wetness. His eyes were wide as I brought my thumb to my mouth, darting my tongue out so he could watch me lick his essence from my skin.

His chest caved with a shocked breath, and when he pulled in air again, it sounded almost like a gasp.

I dropped to my knees before he could say anything, holding back a cringe when my knees hit the tile floor. Sometimes my age really liked to show itself at the most inopportune moments.

I circled two fingers around the base of his cock, holding it steady. It was hot and throbbing in my grasp. My free hand held his shirt up so I could admire those hot abs and the light trail of hair under his belly button.

“Are you—” he started, and I could see the sympathy in his eyes. Guess I didn’t hold that cringe back as much as I’d hoped.

I opened my mouth and sucked him down before he could finish.

“Shit. Oh shit. Fuck!” he called out, his head falling back as his hands slapped back on the counter’s edge.

Normally, I wasn’t one for theatrics, but the thing was, Austin was all genuine. His reaction was one hundred percent real. And that nearly made me blush.

My head bobbed, fast and then slow, drawing this out in a way I knew would torture him.

My fingers slid away from his cock and my hand made its way between his legs. It didn’t take much to get him to spread a little for me once he felt my fingers graze his sac. I rolled his balls in my hand, listening to the way his noises changed from heavy breaths to pleasured grunts.

“I’m gonna… I’m…” he said between gasping breaths. The pointed tip of my tongue played with the under part of his cockhead. That did the trick. “Come!”

His cock pulsed in my mouth. I sucked him down again, eagerly coaxing out his orgasm, needy for my first taste of him.

I couldn’t hold back the moan as his hot cum coated my tongue.

His lids flew open then, head snapping down until his eyes locked with mine. I dipped again, smearing his own cum over his cock as another burst filled my mouth. His hand fell to my shoulder, fingers digging in like he needed to touch me.

“Ford,” he breathed out as I swallowed down the last of his release.

His body shuddered as I pulled away and gave his sensitive cock a few cleaning licks.

With his eyes glazed over and lids heavy, he reached down and rushed to help me up. His arms went around my waist while his face found a spot to hide in the crook of my neck.

I couldn’t explain why my eyes felt wet as I wrapped my arms around him and held on.

This moment had been more than just a blowjob.

It had been special.

Austin had let me in, let me give this to him. He’d trusted me, wanted me.

And though I didn’t say it, I promised him that I’d never take any of it for granted.

“Can we move on from the bullshit where you think I need time to know what I want?” he muttered almost drunkenly into my neck.

I barked out a laugh, turning my head so I could kiss his temple.

“Yes,” I said, tightening my hold on him.

“I want you, Ford. I want more with you.” He paused and drew in a slow deep breath. “I just want you.”

There was that wetness in my eyes again.

“I just want you too,” I told him back.