24. Grace

Chapter 24

Grace

During dessert, Ruby laughed as Alex and Mallory reverted to immature siblings, nearly stabbing each other with forks trying to get the last slice of pie, not knowing I had another one in the kitchen.

When Helen poured Jean another cup of coffee, I took Ruby to the sofa in the living room and sat beside Mallory, who was curled up texting.

At the hospital I maintained a professional distance, but four-year-olds didn't understand personal space. She flipped through a stack of children's books Helen found. When she climbed into my lap with her favorite, I breathed in the bubble gum scent of her hair.

"Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not —"

"What were they stirring? When Grandma and I made cookies for Santa, she let me stir the batter."

"You're such a great helper. In this case, stirring means moving. It was after bedtime, and nobody was moving, not even a mouse."

"MacKenzie has a brown mouse named Archie. What color is theirs?"

"This picture has a white one. Do you think his name is Archie?"

"No, that mouse looks like a girl. I think her name is Gladys."

Mallory snorted. Where did Ruby come up with this stuff?

My gaze lifted to Alex leaning in the doorway, arms crossed and expression soft, until Ruby squirmed. "The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas — "

"Who's the Nick guy?"

As I read, Ruby tucked her chin under mine. Her soft breath against my neck reminded me of volunteering in the church nursery. As a Pastor's Kid, our family spent all Sunday at church, so Elijah and I volunteered to babysit as a break from Bible study. Changing diapers and reading aloud from the Children's Bible had been the highlight of my week.

Even though I worked with kids in the pediatric ward, it was clinical, ensuring they were safe and their parents had the necessary resources. I rarely had time to relax and be with one of my patients … especially one this curious.

"The children were nestled all snug —"

"How many children? Were they brothers and sisters? Or cousins? MacKenzie has two sisters and ten cousins. Ten! Can you believe that?"

"It must be a very loud house."

"They watch me when Grandma needs help. It's so much fun there," she said. I considered how quiet Ruby's life must be, first with only Sarah and now with Jean. "Do you have brothers and sisters, Grace?"

"I grew up with three brothers," I said carefully. "But I moved away."

"If I had brothers or sisters, I'd never want to leave them," she said, voice tinged with sadness.

When my words caught in my throat, Mallory looked up in alarm to check my face. Reassured, she said to Ruby, "I've got two brothers, it's not that great. My big brother's over there."

Alex unfurled his crossed arms and lumbered over. "You talking about me?"

"Ruby asked Grace what it's like having brothers." Alex hazarded a glance and I forced a smile. Mallory shrugged, "I told her they're not that great."

"Not that great?" Alex said, hands on his hips as a show for a giggling Ruby. "That's it, move over, Shrimp. I've gotta clear up misconceptions."

Mallory doubled down, settling deeper into her cushion. Alex lifted her easily and dumped her over a few feet to sit between us.

"See? That's what it's like to have a brother," Mallory shoved his shoulder, which barely shifted. "I always wished I was an only child, like you."

Alex tilted his head at her. "You did?"

"Didn't you? "

"Never. You annoyed the sh-sh-shimmy out of me," he stumbled to cover his urge to curse, "but I never wanted to get rid of you. Especially when the whole family was here, I loved being in a house full of kids."

"That's because you got to boss me and Nick around," she muttered.

"Nick?" Ruby said. "Like Saint Nick, in the book?"

"He wishes," Mallory snorted. That reminded Ruby about the story … and now that she had three adults to entertain her, she shifted to hold it open for Mallory to read next.

"When out on the roof there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter, " Mallory recited. Alex met my eyes and I lifted a brow to point out that I wasn't the only one who freaked out over unexpected midnight visitors.

"It's Santa, right?" Ruby exclaimed. "I bet the sound is the reindeer on the roof. Are reindeer louder than dogs? Our neighbor has a dog that barks, a black lab named Cinder. He likes to be scratched behind the ears, but I'm not supposed to touch his tail. Do reindeer bark? Or do they neigh or snort?"

I smiled, putting a finger over my mouth. "Let's find out."

"His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!" Mallory read aloud.

"That's Santa, he came to visit me today," Ruby told Mallory as she pointed to the drawing. "Grace called him and he visited after feeding the reindeer."

Mallory looked delighted, not noticing Alex flushed — cheeks like roses, indeed. She pointed to the drawing. "Did he look like that?"

Ruby tilted her head, then popped her lips. "Nope, this guy's too short and his belly looks squishy. The real Santa has prettier eyes."

She examined Mallory's eyes and her brow furrowed. "Blue, like yours."

"We might be long-lost cousins," Alex deadpanned, "Our brother Nick is practically a Viking, and Norway is next door neighbors with the North Pole."

When Mallory cracked up, Ruby smiled like she was in on the joke. She cuddled closer as her questions slowed in frequency. I wrapped up the book, " Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Her eyes had closed, but they snapped open. "You read it wrong, it's supposed to be Merry Christmas." When I corrected, she yawned against my chin .

Mallory decided to go out with Kate and invited me to join them, but I declined, not ready to leave Ruby yet. She hesitated, then asked, "Lex, want to come to Kate's?"

His eyebrows rose in surprise as he cleared his throat. "I worked late last night, I want to crash." When disappointment flashed on her face, he added, "Rain check? At the cabin?"

"I'll hold you to that. We'll get that sh-shi-shimmy back." She kissed my cheek and said, "Merry Christmas, see you tomorrow."

Ruby struggled to keep her eyes open.

I whispered, "You seem sleepy, little one."

"Not tired," she protested, rubbing her eyes.

"You had a tet spell today, that makes you feel tired."

"But I don't want to be tired."

"You don't want to miss the fun," I said. "I feel the same way after I …"

Her eyelid cracked open. "You have tet spells?"

"No, but sometimes I have … episodes. I never want to miss the fun, but even when I feel better, I'm still tired."

She nodded into my neck. "Then what?"

"Well, I'm lucky I have people to take care of me." I felt my voice tighten and told Ruby, "Maybe you can close your eyes for just a minute."

"Just a minute …" she murmured.

Within moments, Alex indicated that she'd nodded off and rose to drape a blanket over us, then brought me a glass of water from the kitchen and settled in two cushions away, a neutral look on his face.

He turned on the football game, and we watched for a few minutes in comfortable silence. "I left my notebook."

"Hmm?" I asked, stroking Ruby's hair.

"I left my work notebook on your table, next to the book I was reading." He took a long swig of his beer, then rubbed the back of his neck.

"Do you need them tonight?" That could be a problem if somebody noticed me coming back or him sneaking out.

"No, I … I didn't want you to wonder if you should read it." He scraped a tooth over his lip before a hesitant offer. "You can read it. If you want. "

"Do you want me to?"

"It could help my case," he said, "but it could also scare you off."

The man had yelled at me before I even met him, and he thought a notebook would be the thing to scare me off?

"I won't open it without your consent," I said. I understood how much damage secrets could do if they weren't revealed in the right way.

"I think … I think I want you to."

A few minutes later, Helen guided Jean into the living room, both teary-eyed.

"I knew today would be hard, but I didn't think I'd miss Sarah this much," Jean sighed, her fingertips fidgeting with a circular necklace

"I can't imagine how hard it is to lose a child. And then to be responsible for such a vivacious little girl …" Mom sniffled, taking her hand.

"I thought I'd be able to … but with the tet spells, it's just —"

"Hey, you've got everyone in the hospital ready to help," I whispered as Ruby sighed into my shoulder.

Helen gestured to Ruby. "They need to go home."

I shifted, trying to figure out how I would balance her. Alex stood up, wrapped Helen's blanket around Ruby, and lifted her limp body like she weighed nothing. Then again, he'd carried me last week, so she was probably easy by comparison.

Helen helped Jean into her coat and I decided to leave too. Alex lowered Ruby into her car seat, then I clipped her in and tucked the ponies under the blanket before Jean drove off, leaving me and Alex, back in the driveway where it all began.

"I didn't get a chance to talk to Mallory, but I'll do it tomorrow."

"I get it, Ruby was more important."

He tapped twice on the roof of my truck. "Merry Christmas, Grace. Good luck with Mallory."

"Thanks. I'm going to need it."